So we all know deployments suck. When we find out our husband has to deploy we usually are not surprised, he is in the military after all. But how do you stay positive? Especially when you know they will be leaving soon, see them packing and just feel so sad about them getting ready to say goodbye.
What is so good about a deployment anyway? If you think hard enough I think you can find some things that can make it easier to deal with. This is my list of “benefits” of a deployment.
1) Time to reflect on yourself, grow as a person. I always find that when Ben is gone I am able to spend more time on me and becoming the person I want to be.
2) Extra money. We can use that to save more, pay off more debt, take a trip home, etc. It is a nice extra to have when they have to be away. Also nice when we have to depend on retail therapy on a really bad deployment day 
3) Saving Money. Less gas, less on eating out, less spending money,car insurance can go down, less trips to Target because I don’t want to bring all my kids there
4) Get closer to friends. When your husband is away, you depend a lot more on your friends. You spend more time together. You lift each other up. You create a bond I don’t think you could if your husband never went away.
5) The TV is all yours. This one is a little silly but what do most of us do when our husband is away? Watch our tv shows without having to either fight for the remote or hear them make fun of the stupid shows you know we all watch.
6) Having to depend on God. We really have to when our husband is 1) Not with us and 2) In a danger zone. Not that we don’t normally but when everything is as it should be (they are home with us) it can be hard to really focus on depending on God. We literally have to put our husbands in God’s hands. We can pray but we can’t do anything to ensure that they will always be safe.
7) Knowing in our heart our husband is making the world a better place. No matter where my husband is or what he is doing with the military I really believe he is trying to make this work a better place. And that is something to smile about.
Less household chores. Less laundry, dishes, trash etc. You are the one that has to do it all, but at least there is a little less to do.
What would you add to this list?
I love this post, I needed this so badly. My husband is very close to deploying and I have been having a few bad days. All I see are the negative things. I dwell on them, and it is eating me alive. My friends have started withdrawing from me, I am moody, and just plain sad. Thanks for posting some positives.
A few that I would add myself are:
I won't find his socks laying anywhere and everywhere in the most random spots.
I get the WHOLE bed to myself, well the dogs and I get the WHOLE bed!
I won't hear him telling me how to drive, he is the worst back seat driver ever!
I will have a chance to do better in school with less distraction!
I needed this today. I am almost 4 months into my husband's 12 month deployment. Your comment on the TV made me laugh because it is so true. I was actually kidding my husband the other day, it was weird to watch my shows without him here to make fun of them.
I agree with all of your points.
I would add that
it is a reminder to not take for granted the time we have together when he is home.
It also reminds you of what is truly important in life.
It brings you closer with your kids
This is our second deployment. Through all of the good and bad days, I have learned I am a much stronger person than I ever thought I could be.
It really does remind you of what is important and what isn't. Thanks so much for sharing
Great post Julie!
I would add:
1.Get back to exercising…something about deployment makes me want to get into shape. I always feel guilty when my hubby is home if I am not home spending time with him
2. For us our relationship grows. We both look for more ways to encourage each other and "show" our affection (love letters and that sort of thing)
I too like to get back into shape when my husband is gone. I find it much easier to do that way.
Great post and so true!
I love this! Its so hard to stay positive during deployments but you definitely hit some of the good points of deployment.
Here are some that are unique to me
-There isn't someone nagging at me to do the dishes. It is completely my responsibility so I have no choice. When he is home my dish doing decreases drastically.
- Our dogs have no choice but to like me best!
- If I want to go on a mini trip to seattle for the day or spend some time by myself I don't feel guilty. When he's home having alone time is a big guilt inducer.
Great post! love your blog
–Erinn
It is great to have that freedom isn't it? Sometimes it is very nice to not have to worry about them being sad when we go out for the day.
I always have a first response as anger. Then I get into survival mode. Then I look at how it will help us positive. Like I always hire someone to come in and clean twice a month so that I do not have to worry about bathrooms and floors. I think about how we will spend the money. I think about how close we get in those letters. how our time seems better because I do not have to cook
Oh that is nice. I hope we can do that eventually. Getting the extra help sounds like a great idea.
Those were some great positives about when a spouse is deployed. I wish I had thought of some of those when my husband was gone.
#5 is one of my faves
For me, this deployment is making our marriage stronger. We find ways to communicate even when the internet is crappy and the mail I send to him gets "lost". We're halfway through this 12 month deployment and I can say with confidence that our relationship has never been stronger.
That is awesome! I think I could say the same. Especially the 15 month one we went through. It was so hard but it really helped us grow closer.