How do you know you are done having kids?

How do you know you are done having kids?

brothersMost women have an idea of how many kids they want long before they even meet their husbands. Some of us change our minds after we have children of our own. Sometimes circumstances make life look different from what we had planned. But how do you know when you are done having children?

I use to think I wanted four children. Four little girls like in Little Women. Then I thought two boys and two girls would be cool. As I started to have my own children I started thinking that three was a good number. Two boys and a little girl. When I was pregnant with #3 I was pretty certain he was going to be my last child. Even though he was a boy, I didn’t think I wanted anymore. We had talked a little about me going and getting Essure done. I would do it while he was deployed and by the time he got home I would be good to go.

After I gave birth I decided against getting Essure. I guess it just freaked me out a little and I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I still didn’t want anymore kids but was hoping my husband would go in for a Vasectomy.  He did go in earlier this year and now we are officially done.

A few weeks ago I had a yard sale and sold a few of my big baby items. I have given away or sold most of my little baby clothes. When J grows out of something, I know it will be leaving our house soon after. It is a weird feeling to move on from the making baby stage. I see new babies all the time and although I think they are as sweet as can be, I feel in my heart the time for me to have my own little baby is over. I am at peace with this. I feel good about the decision.

My brother is getting married next year and I know he wants children. I can’t tell you how excited I will be to see my brother have his own kids. My mom and I tell him jokingly that he has to have all the little girls. That will be a sweet time as my boys grow older and become the older cousins.

Life gets broken down into seasons and as my husband and I move into the next one I feel excited about the upcoming years. Baby J is almost two and although that is still a “baby” in some ways it also means that we have moved past the infant stage. As for knowing when you are done having children, I think you just know. For some of my friends they know after just having one. For others it might be 5 or 6.  And others are content without any children.

How many children would you like to have?

 

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About Julie

WAHM of three boys, wife of 12 years, blogger, photography and book nerd.

  • http://www.adventuresofm-squared.com Monica

    Great post!! I currently have 2 – a girl and a boy, and I know I want at least one more, possibly two. I definitely don’t have the feeling that our family is complete yet.
    Monica recently posted..Ben at 9 months

  • Giant Sis

    I am one of those content with zero children. When we got married 14 years ago, my husband and I both wanted children. But as time has gone on, we both independently came to the decision that we didn’t want kids. Not that we don’t like them (well, at least the well-behaved ones). We DO like kids – but neither of us felt the desire to have children of our own. We love our life the way it is. And we reached that point where if we did want kids, it would change the way we had to think about the future – and we realized we didn’t want kids for many reasons.

    When I’ve told close friends our decision, some of them try to convince me that I should have kids. Well, if I’m not into it 100%, I think it’s better to NOT have them. I can’t be a parent only when I want, so better not at all!