It is happening again

Military Family

We got the news this week that it is time to prepare for another deployment.  It wasn’t a shock to us but seeing it in the news makes it more real.  It is probably going to happen.  Other Brigades in my husband’s division have already left.  To be honest I am not sure how I really feel about it.

I know I can handle another deployment but I don’t really want to be without my husband for nine months.  I don’t want him to be in harms way and possibly have something happen to him.  I don’t want my boys to have to miss him and I do not want to fill the role of both Mom and Dad.  I just don’t want to…

Yet, my husband is in the Army and this is a huge part of his job.  It is something that will happen for us every few years.  Maybe the time in between will get longer and longer or maybe not but I know as long as he serves, he will deploy.

As we get ready for this Christmas I am really aware that next Christmas he will be overseas and not home with us.  I know a lot of wives going through a deployment this Christmas and know that will be me next year.  That all the fun we have together this year we won’t be able to have next year.  That makes me really sad but I have done it before.  I made Christmas special for my boys even though Daddy wasn’t there and I can do it again.

The part that scares me the most is that although this will be his 4th deployment, he has not been seriously injured over there.  Not physically or mentally.  I know how lucky we are and in a way I wonder how many times it will take before something does happen.  I hate that I think like that but if you have been around the Military community for any amount of time you can see the hurt and pain that many returning from war experience.  And you can’t help but wonder if it is just something that will happen to everyone eventually.

I can’t say that war hasn’t changed my husband, it has.  He is still the same person I married but I know that those experiences have changed him just like being the wife a deployed soldier has changed me.

So here we go, entering that frustrating “pre-deployment” period and preparing myself for missing him yet again.

Are you in a pre-deployment season too?  How are you handling it?


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Looking for extra support? Come join my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Facebook group.
About Julie

WAHM of three boys, wife of 12 years, blogger, photography and book nerd.

  • Jessica (@DeploymentDivas)

    ((hugs)) The lead-up is almost worse than the actual deployment 🙁 I think all military spouses and SOs have those same thoughts/feelings. I know I do with mine. Hang in there! You’ve got a whole lot of support here whenever you need it 😉

  • Jennifer @ The Toy Box Years

    Ugh….I’m sorry.

    The leadup is the worst. We were see-sawing back and forth between when they were leaving, if they were leaving, where they were going. It was just exhausting!

    We’re now 6 months in….6 months to go.

    You’ve got this! Hang in there and know that I’m always around with a listening ear!

  • Liz

    (Big Hugs to you)
    My fiance is stationed at Fort Campbell and has been deployed to Afghanistan for about a month now. Since I am in college in California I wasn’t in touch with the FRG and didn’t have any clue what to expect during predeployment and the actual deployment (this is our first deployment). I must say I went through an array of emotions. Proud of my soldier of course, mad because he had to go, sad, mad at civilians because they don’t comprehend the sacrifice, fear when they were attacked last Sunday…and I’m sure the list will only get longer as this deployment continues. Last night I had a little bit of a meltdown in my dorm room. I know that I am strong, but I felt so sick of being strong. I just want him home. However, this is the life we chose, this is the life we live, and we CAN do this.

    I will continue to pray for your husband and your family, along with every other soldier serving. And I will continue to pray for you and the rest of the SO’s out there; for your peace and safety. We can do this ladies!

  • Frank Malinoski

    Judith Sanders and I offer our prayers for your family. Also, please contact at and arrange to have your family photographed by a profession for no charge to you so they can give you a set of photos and provide your husband with a set that’s weatherproof & can be folded & put in a pocket to keep you all connected. Let us know if you have trouble, we can help.
    God bless,
    Frank Malinoski

  • Laura

    Sorry to hear you’re family is going through this. Waiting for a deployment is very difficult! I have been dealing with such a range of emotions but i’m glad to know it’s normal. I really pray a lot!

  • Leanne ( the mrs)

    I feel for you. And your kids. And your husband. Oh for all of you! We are 2 wks into a deployment now and it’s a lot but honestly, nothing compared to the build up. Good luck in the predeployment phase.

  • Pam

    Hang in there. I know completely how you feel and I agree with others here the pre-deployment is almost as tough. Enjoy the moment and make the most of the quality time you have. I pray for a safe deployment for you guys again!!!
    Thanks for your service!!!
    Pam @ The Patriotic Pam :O)