We got the news this week that it is time to prepare for another deployment. It wasn’t a shock to us but seeing it in the news makes it more real. It is probably going to happen. Other Brigades in my husband’s division have already left. To be honest I am not sure how I really feel about it.
I know I can handle another deployment but I don’t really want to be without my husband for nine months. I don’t want him to be in harms way and possibly have something happen to him. I don’t want my boys to have to miss him and I do not want to fill the role of both Mom and Dad. I just don’t want to…
Yet, my husband is in the Army and this is a huge part of his job. It is something that will happen for us every few years. Maybe the time in between will get longer and longer or maybe not but I know as long as he serves, he will deploy.
As we get ready for this Christmas I am really aware that next Christmas he will be overseas and not home with us. I know a lot of wives going through a deployment this Christmas and know that will be me next year. That all the fun we have together this year we won’t be able to have next year. That makes me really sad but I have done it before. I made Christmas special for my boys even though Daddy wasn’t there and I can do it again.
The part that scares me the most is that although this will be his 4th deployment, he has not been seriously injured over there. Not physically or mentally. I know how lucky we are and in a way I wonder how many times it will take before something does happen. I hate that I think like that but if you have been around the Military community for any amount of time you can see the hurt and pain that many returning from war experience. And you can’t help but wonder if it is just something that will happen to everyone eventually.
I can’t say that war hasn’t changed my husband, it has. He is still the same person I married but I know that those experiences have changed him just like being the wife a deployed soldier has changed me.
So here we go, entering that frustrating “pre-deployment” period and preparing myself for missing him yet again.
Are you in a pre-deployment season too? How are you handling it?