Embrace the suck!
I am sure you have heard this phrase before.
Right now I am trying to embrace the pre-deployment suck, and this time there is a lot of it. Right before we left for California we found out my husband was not deploying. When family and friends asked during the trip I had a big smile on my face and was able to tell them that my husband doesn’t have to deploy. That I would not be spending months without him. That he would end his Army career before a 4th deployment. That it was so nice that he isn’t being deployed because I was really worried about if I could handle it this time. I knew in the back of mine mind things could change. But I told myself that this time things actually worked out in our favor. That this time we would get the break. That this time we wouldn’t have to go through it.
Wrong! I am not sure what I was thinking because as of now my husband is deploying again. Sure this could change but at this point I just have to assume he is. No more thinking we get a little break. No more thinking I don’t have one more big hurdle in front of me.
I am really trying to be okay with this but it is hard.
I am frustrated. I don’t want my husband to leave again. I want to throw a big fat fit about it. I don’t want to have to play Mom and Dad to my three kids, especially my 6-year-old. I want my husband to be there for the times when it gets to be too much for me. My friends are encouraging. They tell me I can do it. As hard as it seems. I can do it. I think back to September of 2007. My husband had been deployed a year and there were rumors of it becoming 15 months. I remember thinking that I couldn’t possibly do 15 months. I couldn’t take three more months of the deployment. Well my husband did get extended and I did make it. I survived it. When I think back to that? I think I can do this because this is not 15 months. I am not in Germany and I have older kids. Other than summer and Christmas break they will be in school. That has to make things a little easier right?
And my 6-year-old is doing really well lately. Really well. He is figuring out how the world works. We still have fits, but they are less common than even 6 months ago. This will be okay.
So here I go…trying to embrace this pre-deployment suck. Trying to get ready for whatever the Army wants to throw at us. I can handle it…right? I can do this…right? It is only for a time. Just a few months of our long life together. Just a little bit longer and deployments will be a thing of the past for us.
And I can always blog about it, right?
Who else is in this pre-deployment stage?