This post for Blue Star Families will be a little bit of an update about the deployment!
We are TWO months in to this deployment. Two whole months. Twice as long as JRTC was. Basically about 1/4th of the way done give or take. Since I don't know when it is over I am just going by the longest he could be away right now.
Today was also the first day of school. I love that my kids are in school. Love it. We may have some issues along the way but it is the best place for them and for me. I love my kids but I love that there are people out there that went to school to be with kids like my kids all day long. Today they started 1st and 2nd grade. This is the first year in a long time we have not had a Kindergartner as my oldest did it twice and his brother is right behind him.
The last two months I kept saying that this deployment will get better once school starts. There is a part of me that worries that it will not. I think I am just afraid things won't get better. I do know that having some kid-free time during the week, time to focus on my stuff, is really going to help my mood. Also, we are two months in. We are not brand new to the deployment anymore. This should help as well.
I still get sad. When I think about how many months we do have left, I get pretty sad. I think about everything he will miss. I think about Halloween and Thanksgiving and birthdays and Christmas and it makes me so very sad that he could miss all of that. I love that time of year and I hate the thought of missing him through it all.
I also recently hit a point where the thought of going somewhere we used to go together doesn't make me want to burst into tears. That is a big step for me and I am glad we hit it. On the other hand, I still get sad about him missing stuff. I was at the mall and waiting for my boys to use the restroom. A mom with two girls walked by and her daughter asked if they could eat at the mall. The mom said something about how Daddy wanted to go somewhere else to eat. Just little things like that makes me sad. Even though my brain knows that we will have weekends like that again too, my heart doesn't quite understand yet.
I went to church for the first time since he left. I think it helped that my brother is here and asked to go. I hope we can continue to go during the rest of the deployment.
I think my motto for this deployment is, "Getting through it one day, one hour and sometimes one minute at a time."
If you are going through a deployment, how are you doing? What stage are you in?
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