My oldest is turning nine on Sunday! Wow! I have been a mom for nine years now. Wow!
I am not going to say it went by in flash but looking back it is hard to believe we will have a nine year old.
Being that it is his birthday and he was the one who made me a mother I thought I would blog about motherhood a little this week.
I love my kids. I want the best for them but my goal is not perfection. Why? Because I believe it is impossible to be a perfect mom. It is impossible to always have it figured out. To have your kids do exactly what you say, 100% of the time. To do everything right. It is impossible to acheive this. So I am not going to try.
What I do try to do, what I have always done for every parenting situation is to try to figure out what is going to work best for my kid and what I have the ablility to do. I have made mistakes. I have done things right. I have been so confused about what to do in certain situations it drives me to tears.
Every mom is different, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. A few weeks ago I came across this article and I believe she wrote about it well.
It is way too easy to compare our mothering skills to another mom. We need to remember we are all different. One Mom might rock the PTA, one might make the best cookies for her kid’s class and the other is best at playing board game after board game. One might love to homeschool all of her children, the other enjoys public school and having her kids there during the day. And yet another isn’t quite sure what is going to work yet so she tries her best to figure it all out.
Mothering is hard. It can be difficult to figure out how to raise your child. From the beginning the choices start coming at you. Should you have a natural birth? Should you breastfed? If so for how long? Should you try sleep training? What if you want to co-sleep? What should you do? It can be SO overwhelming to a new mom.
And it doesn’t end when they are babies. Can my child walk themselves to the bus stop? When can they start to date? How old for a sleep-over? Do I really have to let them get their licence when they turn 16?
Add social media to that, where you can read study after study about how X is harmful to your child and what is a Mother to do? When it feels like the goal is to be that perfect mom, where do we fit in when we fall short?
I know when I let all of that get to me, I get too stressed out and it isn’t good for anyone.
So…how about we all stop trying to be a “perfect” mom and focus on what makes us a good mom to our own kids? Find out what works for us and go with it. It will look different in each family. We are all different and that is the way it is supposed to be.
I think if we do more of that, we can make mothering a little easier on ourselves.
Do you ever feel pressure to be that “perfect” mom?