When You Can’t Talk During A Deployment

download (25)There are times during deployments when you can’t talk to your spouse. We are in one of those times. I don’t like it but I am coming to accept it. I am trying to think about the next few months and remembering that this is temporary for us. That soon we will talk again and then soon after that we will talk in person. I try to think about all this so that I can keep things in perspective.

Some wives will never get to talk to their husbands again and I know this. I think of those women when I get too upset that I can’t talk to mine.

Still the silence is difficult.

To not be able to share anything with the man I married. To not get his feedback on anything. To not hear how he is doing. That is all really hard.


I believe that part of  getting through a deployment is having to play a lot of metal games to get your through.

You have to give yourself a lot of pep talks and a lot of reminders to keep things in perspective.

I have to tell myself that even if I don’t hear from him, I will get to see him in X amount of days.

Or I think, what if I was a single Mom and I had to make all these decisions by myself all of the time?

Or I can think about how we have made it 130 days already and that getting to the end of the deployment won’t take that long.

It’s hard. And everyday can be different. One day I can be a crying mess and the next you will see me with a smile on my face.

When you can’t talk to your deployed spouse you start to think about him in a different way. You remember when you first met, your first date and your wedding day. You remember all the little things you had forgotten that made you fall in love in the first place. You think about the homecoming and what that will be like. You think about all the silly stuff that used to annoy you and wonder why it ever did. You think about how you will strive to be a better wife once he is home.

Maybe I think too much or maybe I dream too much but I can’t help but think about him in that way when I can’t talk to him. He is a mystery guy right now. I have no idea what he is doing or how he spends his down time, if he gets any. I am not sure if he is sad or just so busy he doesn’t have much time to think about it. I really don’t know.

I trust God and I trust that he is doing ok. I know how the system works. I know that if he was hurt, I would get a phone call. I know this and I keep it in the back of my mind. They say, “No news is good news” and that is true when it comes to deployments. We can’t talk right now and that really really sucks but we will pull through it, just like the times we have dealt with this in the past.

Have you gone through periods of time without being able to talk to your husband? How did you handle it?


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About Julie

WAHM of three boys, wife of 12 years, blogger, photography and book nerd.