"I could never do what you do"
"I couldn't be a Military wife"
"I don't know how you guys do it being without your husband for that long."
We have all heard people say these things to us. I used to think that anyone could be a Military spouse. All they would have to do is love their spouse enough to stick by him or her.
But now, I am not so sure.
What about the spouses that walk away?
What about the service members that voluntarily leave the Military because deployments became too much?
What about the spouse that suffers from anxiety or depression and thinks the idea of one more separation is too much?
And when we talk about Military spouses, we are talking about people who stood by their husband or wife for a couple of years and those that stood by for 20+. Some people serve longer than others. When it is time to leave the Military, you can have a feeling of just being done. You can't seem to imagine going through another deployment. I know I can't. I feel like I have hit my limit.
However, what if my husband didn't want to leave the Army? What if he wanted to stay and do 20-30 years? What if this was his life long dream? Would that make a difference? I think for me it would.
I think if my husband wanted to stay in it would be a little easier to handle more deployments. If he had a clear plan. If this is what he wanted.
So what does it take to make it as a Military Spouse? We all come from different places, with different personalities and different ways of seeing the world. What do we all have in common that allows us to do what we need to do to support our spouse?
I think in the end it is about commitment. Commitment to your spouse, to his or her work, to the life you must live when you decided to marry them. Commitment to the two of you and whatever path you are going to walk together. Commitment to the family you have created and the life that you are living together.
If you have commitment to each other, you can get through most of what life throws at you. And that is what it takes to make it in this Military life.