What To Do When You Can’t Make Friends At Your New Duty Station
One of the best things you can do in your military life journey is to find friends to walk through this life with. Friends who understand deployments, what going through a PCS every three years is really like and friends who you can make memories with during the years you are a military spouse. Military friendships are so important and are very much needed. But sometimes, making friends isn’t so easy. Sometimes you can feel like you are being friendly and can’t seem to click with anyone. So what should you do? What can you do when you can’t make friends at your duty station?
Are you putting yourself out there on a regular basis?
If you are struggling to make friends at your new duty station, how often are you putting yourself out there? Did you go to one FRG meeting and decide you can’t make friends there? Are you looking for fun things to do at your duty station? Put yourself out there as often as you can. Sign up for that book club, join that yoga class, start going to MOPS. The more places you go, the more people you will meet, the higher the chances that you will start making friends.
Use your children
If you have kids, you will have a lot of chances to make new friends. If you signed your child up for T-ball, see if there are any other moms to talk with. Take your kids to a lot of places on a regular basis. Is there a playgroup near where you live? If so, go. And not just once. Keep going. Even if you don’t meet anyone right away, your kids can have fun, meet new people and that can help with friendships for you.
Remember, sometimes it does take time
Remember that when you move to a new place, it can take some time to find friends and even more time to find best friends. Try not to lose hope if you are new to your duty station. Sometimes we get lucky and meet some new people we click with right away but that doesn’t always happen and it is important to remember this.
Do what you love
Dating advice that says to involve yourself in activities you enjoy and then you will be able to surround yourself with potential dates who you have something in common with. The same is true with finding friends. If you love to read, join a book club. You will meet other people who also love to read and you will know you already have something in common.
Facebook groups can be a great way to connect with others in your area. There are probably groups for spouses based on your duty station as well as many subgroups based on different interests. You can also find people in your area in more general military spouse groups as well. Remember to be safe when meeting someone you met online. They can be a great way to connect with others you might otherwise not have come in contact with.
Remember that you are not the only one looking for a good friend. Most of the other people at your duty station are too. Try to put yourself out there to meet others. Find fun things for you and your kids to do where you can meet people. Find some Facebook groups and make plans to fill up your calendar with fun events and meetings where you can get out to meet people. And most importantly, don’t give up. There are many ways for you to make friends at your new duty station.
“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.”
— Irish Proverb