Prayers During a Deployment
Prayer has always been a part of my life. When my husband is deployed I pray for him. I also know he is on about 5-6 different military prayer lists at different churches around the country. I know his family is praying for him. I know his friends are too.
But this is where I am stuck. Will praying keep him safe? I pray all the time he is safe.
But the reality is people who have prayed for their husbands (or wives, sons, daughters, etc) have lost them 🙁 It’s hard because I just don’t understand it. And maybe I am not supposed to. Maybe I am just supposed to pray and trust that God will protect him? Will more prayers from more people help him?
I know that when people pray for my emotional state, I do feel better. When we pray for families of the fallen, I hope that they do feel a little more comfort. But praying to keep people safe is where I get confused. Not that we shouldn’t do it, I think we should but I just get confused by it all.
Prayer just feels very complicated to me right now. I want to believe that prayers will keep people safe, that they will heal them and that by doing so it will make life better. I want to believe I have power over it. At the end of the day, I really don’t and that is a very hard thing to let go of. I don’t want to have to think that my husband might not come back from war. I want to believe that he will be 100% safe and return to us so we can go on with our lives.
With the recent news of even more deaths, I just get even more scared about my husband being over there. Honestly, it terrifies me. Mix that with bad feelings I have never had before, I just feel lost. It’s a scary thing to have to go through. To make a will, to have those discussions, to be afraid of a knock at the door. It is all a part of Military life and deployments and something the spouse just has to figure out a way to deal with.
The reality is, that most of those who go over there come back. Most of them are okay and most people go on and have a life after deployment, although there might be a lot of struggles along the way. All we can really do is pray for them, pray for us and rest in the knowledge that God is there no matter what happens in the future.
Anyone else struggle with this?