He has been gone four months now. 120 days.
I miss him so much as you can imagine.
I miss his jokes. One of the first things I noticed about him was his sense of humor. It is silly and cheezy and I miss it.
I miss it when he holds my hand. Whether we are walking in the mall or going out to lunch.
I miss telling him about my day and all the stupid things no one else really cares about it. I tell that man everything and for four months I have not had that.
I miss him with the boys. From playing outside with Daniel to trying to get Drew to laugh to helping Joshua on the playground.
I miss him drinking more coffee than I do.
So far during this deployment we have been pretty much been able to talk with each other on Facebook each and everyday. I have not heard from him since Monday. Usually I can go about 3-4 days before I get upset about not talking with him. So that is about where I am at. I am trying not to get upset but it is hard. It is so difficult to not be able to talk to your other half on a regular basis. There have been so many times when I have something to say to him and can’t say it.
I almost feel like our relationship is “on hold” in a way. Not that we are currently not married or anything like that. Just that we can not have anything close to a normal relationship while he is gone.
They say “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and I think it has been true for us. You get to a point in the deployment where you start thinking about everything nice you have done together over the years. You remember all the things you fell in love with and you look forward to the future when you can be normal again.
As homecoming gets closer you think about how it will feel to be in his arms again. To be his wife, not just in name only. To be able to act like a couple instead of just remembering it.
This homecoming will be very special for us. It will be the last one for us. In the past when he has come home from deployment I always thought, “He is mine, for now…” This time, I will not have a future deployment to think about. That makes me even more excited for him to come home.
As I look back over the years I wonder what our relationship would look like if he had never left? If we were one of those couples that had never spent a day away from each other. I also wonder what it will be like when he doesn’t have to go anywhere ever again. After years of him being home and then not, will I miss that independence? I just don’t know.
Have you felt that distance has made you and your spouse stronger?