I did wake up this morning feeling good. Feeling ready to conquer the rest of this weekend. Feeling like time will pass and he will eventually be home with us.
I hope I can stay positive. The last six months have been the most stressful six months I think I have ever experienced. I feel worn and tired and ready to not feel like this anymore.
Christmas is coming. Trees will go up. Christmas music will start playing on the radio. Presents will be bought and wrapped. I want to get excited about it. Christmas is the best time of year. However, there is a part of me that worries I will be spending it alone. I hope not. I really hope not but it is the Army and they are never predictable.
Then I notice that some friends are getting ready to send their husbands away. They are celebrating early. They are preparing for what I am almost finished with. And I remember when I was in that stage that I had friends in the final weeks of their deployment. This is the cycle. Someone is always coming home, someone is always getting ready to leave.
Our deployment will be over soon and with it I will be working to get my normal back. I don’t think that will happen overnight. I do know that having my husband home with us again will make things easier. And as I realize that others will be in this situation soon, I want to offer them encouragement. I want them to know that it is okay to not be happy about a deployment or even ready for one when it happens. I want them to know that it is okay to take each day or even each hour at a time if need be. That it is alright to stay so busy your house never feels clean but it is also okay to take a few days to just relax, read a book and have a good cry.
Where are you in the deployment cycle? Are you like me and getting ready for your loved one to return? Are you in the middle of a deployment or are you getting ready to say goodbye and trying to prepare yourself for what is to come?