You have done this before, deployments aren’t a new thing, and you feel like you have to be strong, for all the new military spouses around you.
But the reality is, after the FRG meeting is over, after you get home and crawl into bed, your heart still worries over this upcoming deployment. You wonder how you will get through another nine months apart. You wonder if this will be the deployment something bad happens, how many times can someone go over there and come back the same?
The truth is, you might be a seasoned spouse, you might have advice to offer and you have defeinetly been there before, but you are also a human being.
You have the right to miss your spouse too.
You have the right to not have all the answers.
You have the right to be the one that needs the shoulder to cry on instead of the other way around.
Because no matter how long you have been a military spouse, no matter how long you have lived a military life, you might never be fully prepared for your own emotions during the difficult parts.
As a seasoned spouse, you know that you can’t spend the whole deployment complaining, but it is okay to share with your close friends that you are having a hard time.
As a seasoned spouse, you probably look back on everything you have been through and wonder how you got to where you are today. You remember when you were the brand new spouse, walking onto your very first military installation, unsure of what the future held.
As a seasoned spouse, you know you can help other military spouses and sharing your personal story can help them more than you might realize.
I know for myself, I have always looked at those who have been doing this longer than I have, and have been able to learn what worked for them, and even what didn’t.
There is this idea that in order to support your military service member you have to appear as an unmoveable tower of strength. And maybe you don’t always feel like you are. Maybe you too need some encouragement.
So, to the seasoned military spouse, know that you have a lot to offer but you can also be the one asking for help. You can be the one that needs to vent, and you can be the one that just needs a night off from the stress.
The military changes over time and what things were like in 1999 were different than in 2009 and different even more here in 2019.
You might start to feel that what worked for you 10 years ago won’t work again now, and maybe that is true. However, you are resilient and you will find ways to cope, even if this new age of the military.
Be kind to yourself, take breaks when you can, and know that you can get through this too. Learn your strengths and be aware of your weaknesses. Reach out to others for help, and help those around you that might need that little extra support.
How long have you been a military spouse? Are you new or are you more seasoned?