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Exploring Ft. Liberty, NC: Unforgettable Day Trips for Military Families

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Welcome to Ft. Liberty, North Carolina, a haven for military families seeking adventure, relaxation, and unforgettable experiences. Nestled in the heart of this welcoming community, you’ll discover a treasure trove of day trip destinations that cater to solo parents and families alike. Join us as we embark on a journey of exploration, from sandy beaches to majestic mountains, picturesque waterfalls, and family-friendly attractions. Let’s create cherished memories together in this charming region.

One of the best ways to create lasting memories and explore your new surroundings is by going on day trips. These excursions are perfect for single parents looking to bond with their children and for families seeking quality time together. Before you hit the road, consider packing essentials like snacks, water, first-aid supplies, and a sense of adventure.

Ft. Liberty’s Natural Wonders – Waterfall Road Trips

Linville Falls, NC, USA

Crabtree Falls Trail, Spruce Pine, United States

There are over 250 waterfalls in NC! If you want a specific curated road trip, you can hit up to 8 beautiful scenic waterfalls in 5 hours. This list consists of Linville Falls, Crabtree Falls, Looking Glass Falls, Moore Cove Falls, Cove Creek Falls, Sliding Rock (our favorite!), Dry Falls, and Upper Whitewater Falls (source: https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/north-carolina/nc-waterfalls-road-trip/)

If you’re wanting to make a Waterfall Weekend trip, consider checking out the North Carolina ByWays provided by the NC Department of Transportation. On pg. 18 you will find the Waterfall Byway which leads you through the ultimate NC waterfall road trip of 200 waterfalls. But wait, there’s more! This handy NC guide features multiple scenic routes throughout the state for any nature loving family. The Sandhills Scenic Drive and Averasboro Battlefield Scenic Byway are two close-to-home routes.

Beach Day! Kure Beach at Ft. Fisher is barely Two Hours Away

Kure Beach, North Carolina United States

If your family loves sandy shores and salty breezes, a visit to Ft. Fisher is a must. This beach not only offers sun and surf but also extends military discounts as a heartwarming gesture of gratitude for your service.

Ft. Fisher isn’t just any beach; it’s a destination filled with history, natural beauty, and exciting opportunities for family fun. Here’s what you can expect:

1. The Beach: Spend a day at Ft. Fisher building sandcastles, swimming in the gentle waves, and picnicking with your loved ones. The wide, sandy shores provide ample space for families to spread out and enjoy their beach day to the fullest. Don’t forget to bring the hot dogs! Fort Fisher State Recreation Area has charcoal friendly grills and a picnic area. This beach is pet-friendly with watering stations as well.

2. Southport – A Ferry Ride Away: Want to add a touch of cinematic charm to your visit? Ft. Fisher is just a short ferry ride away from Southport, a quaint coastal town famous for being the filming location of “Safe Haven.” Stroll along the charming streets, visit the picturesque waterfront, and relive moments from the beloved movie. Some of our favorite shops are The Christmas Shop (there’s a candy store in the back!) and Bullfrog Corner.

3. Free Parking: Ft. Fisher offers free public parking, making it convenient for military families to access the beach without worrying about additional expenses. This perk adds to the appeal of this already budget-friendly destination. Anywhere else in the Carolina Beach/Wilmington area has paid parking which can add up quickly.

4. Ft. Fisher Museum: While at Ft. Fisher, take a detour to the Ft. Fisher State Historic Site and Museum. Explore the exhibits and learn about the area’s Civil War history, including the pivotal Battle of Ft. Fisher. It’s an educational opportunity for the whole family.

5. Camping: For the adventurous souls among you, Ft. Fisher allows camping right by the beach, and Carolina State Park allows camping directly on the beach. Imagine falling asleep to the sound of ocean waves and waking up to breathtaking sunrises over the Atlantic. It’s a unique experience that will leave you with lasting memories. Ft. Fisher is pet-friendly!

If you’re looking to savor some local flavors as part of your beach experience, be sure to check out these dining options:

Britt’s Donuts on the Boardwalk: Treat your taste buds to the sweet delight of fresh, melt-in-your-mouth donuts available at Britt’s Donuts. They are a cherished tradition on the boardwalk. They are a cash-only operation so make sure you bring plenty!

Island Burgers and Bites: Believe it or not, some of the best burgers can be found in a gas station! Island Burgers and Bites offer delicious burgers that will satisfy your cravings.

Kate’s Pancake House: Start your day with a hearty breakfast at Kate’s Pancake House, known for their mouth watering pancakes and a cozy, family-friendly atmosphere.

Ft. Fisher is more than just a beach; it’s a complete coastal experience for military families, where history, relaxation, and fun come together in a beautiful setting. So, pack your sunscreen and towels, and get ready for an unforgettable day at Ft. Fisher.

Camping and Mountains:

For families who crave the great outdoors, Ft. Liberty is surrounded by lush mountains and offers excellent camping opportunities. Whether you’re a seasoned camper or a newbie, the serene mountain landscapes and clear night skies make for a memorable experience. There are plenty of options for cabin rentals, campground camping, dispersed camping, group camping, and RV camping. Visit the National Forest in North Carolina website for more information on sites, rules, and how to make reservations.

Thrills and Adventures – Carowinds

If you’re in the mood for thrills and laughter, Carowinds amusement park is a must-visit. Packed with family-friendly attractions, it promises an action-packed day for everyone. From roller coasters to live entertainment, Carowinds has it all. Check their website for military discounts.

If you like Spooky Season like me, don’t miss out on Scarowinds! This is the highly anticipated seasonal transformation of a screaming good time that offers mazes, scare zones, shows, and more. Get your tickets and Fast Lane passes early- they go quick!

Wild Encounters

North Carolina Zoo, Asheboro, United States

If you are an animal lover, you’re in luck! There are quite a few options to see animals near Ft. Liberty, here are some of our favorites:

NC Zoo: Located in Asheboro, the NC Zoo is a fantastic place to explore the animal kingdom. Consider getting a membership to enjoy year-round visits and skip-the-line privileges. With the NC Zoo membership you also get a discount for the NC Aquarium. If you’re planning on taking either of these trips more than once a year, it pays for itself. Bring your walking shoes- the NC Zoo has 500 developed acres making it the world’s largest natural habitat zoo.

NC Zoo Pro-Tip: The Zoo is sectioned by continent. Park in the North America Parking lot. Once inside the Zoo, take the tram to the Africa Tram Stop. Work your way back through the Zoo going through Africa, Asia, and North America. Then voila- you don’t have to take the tram back to your car at a very congested time.

You can do this the other way as well- park at Africa, ride the tram to North America, and work your way south. However, keep in mind North America houses the Garden Friends Playground. This will allow you some rest time while the kids play before you load back up into the car. Entrance times, shuttle times, and tram times vary throughout the year. Always check the times before you go!

NC Aquarium: Dive into the wonders of the deep at the NC Aquarium. Like the zoo, memberships and discounts are available, making it a budget-friendly option. Marvel at colorful fish, playful otters, an albino alligator, and even sharks. There are plenty of hands-on opportunities for little ones and different activities throughout the year. You can even plan a birthday party or participate in a sleepover!

North Carolina Aquarium at Fort Fisher Pro Tip- get your tickets online in advance! This will help you have a hassle free entry the day of.

A little closer to home with Aloha Safari Park: Whether you want to feed a giraffe or invite a zebra to give you a nuzzle in the drive-through safari, this park has some amazing animals! Aloha Safari Park houses over 300 animals and they specialize in caring for animals that came from homes where they were not taken care of previously.

Our State Capitol: Raleigh, NC

While there are tons of things to do in Raleigh, we usually go for the museums and the food. Choosing between the dinosaur and the life-size Connect Four game can be hard, but somebody’s gotta do it! Luckily Raleigh isn’t too far away.

North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences: Welcome to the Southeast’s largest natural history museum. Yes, there’s a dinosaur. This museum has it all: a kid-friendly discovery room, an arthropod zoo, a nature research center, a live sloth, and more. They also host multiple events throughout the year that cater to all audiences.

Marbles Kids Museum: Ever wanted to play chess with life-sized pieces? This is your kind of place! From a pirate ship playland to interactive brain-nurturing hands-on activities, this is a great place to take the whole family. The grownups have just as much fun as the kids.

Time to pack your bags

Now it’s time to pack your bags, bring your sense of wonder, and embark on these incredible journeys. The adventure awaits, and the memories are yours to make. Welcome to North Carolina!

Hey there! I’m Andrea McGillivray, a military spouse with over 20 years of firsthand experience navigating the unique challenges faced by military families. I’m honored to be a contributing blogger for Pioneer Military Credit, a trusted provider of personal military loans for service members. Pioneer is committed to helping military families navigate the challenges of military life through its financial products and educational resources on its website.

That National Guard Life From a National Guard Spouse

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Happy to have this guest post by Olivia on National Guard life! Want to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life? Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.comand let me know! I take pieces on anything milspouse related, from deployment tips to duty station review.

That National Guard Life From a National Guard Spouse

I used to think military life was easy, fun, and quite frankly, no big deal. My spouse’s National Guard drill weekends were no issue because I would just go shopping with friends, spend time with family, eat all of the take-out Chinese food I wanted, etc.

So, the saying about things getting easier with time…I don’t think that always applies in the case of military life.

You get older. You start a family. Family gatherings grow in size and number. Activities and events start to infiltrate the fridge calendar.

You start to overhear conversations like, “Hey dad, are you coming to my soccer game this weekend?” “I’m sorry buddy, I have to go away this weekend. I’m sorry I’ll miss it.” Again. He’s so sorry he will miss yet another game. Another practice. Another swimming lesson. Another family barbeque to celebrate someone’s birthday. The list goes on.

I can see the look on my husband’s face, and then in my son’s eyes. Sadness, disappointment, hurt, felt on both ends. You’re probably thinking, it’s one game or one practice, the child won’t remember. And you’re absolutely right if it was just one or two here and there.

However, it’s close to 50-75% of the time with all activities and day-to-day life in our household. I’m sure many people think the National Guard is just one weekend per month and a two-week training in the summer each year.

Well, I wish it was just that, but that is far from the truth. For example, this year alone, my husband was gone for just under three months right after Christmas.

He was stateside, which was nice, but I work full-time and there was no way we could make a trip out to visit him a reality. This summer felt like a nice break because he literally just had drill weekends and that was it.

Well, here we are going into the fall, and into a new budget year for the National Guard, and the calendar is filling back up with additional trips to the guard base for additional duties to be completed. And, those are just the planned trips. You never know when a call will come in to go assist here or there, a week or two weeks gone.

“It’s totally what you signed up for though, right?” I get this question or similar comments whenever I mention something related to my husband’s schedule. Yes, you are correct, when my husband was 17 years old, he signed on the dotted line and is literally owned by the government until further notice. I don’t know how a 17-year-old could’ve known exactly what this life would be like, but he signed up and has been committed to them for just shy of 20 years now.

On the positive flip side, I have family who keep a similar calendar of drill and military-related events on their calendar, and they are mindful of those when planning family events. I can’t tell you how happy this makes my heart! Some get it, some don’t, and that is okay- you work around your schedule and their schedule to the best of your ability.

Other things that don’t seem to get easier or better with time, and often bring a sense of unnecessary guilt: 1. Repeatedly saying, “Sorry we can’t come, he has drill that weekend.” 2. “Don’t plan around us, you know how our schedule is.” 3. “This is our first weekend together as a family in three weeks, so no we aren’t going to plan anything.” 4. “Yes, we let our kids stay the night with grandparents just so we can have a couple of hours alone this month.”

You’re able to recognize that some have it way harder or worse than you. You’re able to rationally tell yourself that you’ll get through this and it’s not that bad. But that doesn’t minimize the stress that you’re experiencing and comparing your situation to someone else’s just isn’t realistic. Everyone is different and we all deal with things differently.

With all of this complaining or over-explaining, there are a few things that are amazing when it comes to the National Guard life. Amazing friends that just get it and don’t think twice about rescheduling something five times, because they are in the same boat.

The excitement on my kids’ faces when they see dad fly over during a training mission. The fancy dining out ceremonies that give us a few hours to relive our prom days. The pride in knowing that my husband and fellow National Guard soldiers do so much for our community and country. And, did I mention the ability to have as much Chinese take-out as you want on drill weekends? Yeah, that hasn’t changed a bit.

The National Guard life is different from other branches of service, and yet still comes with its own set of challenges. If you’re a National Guard spouse, just know that I hear you & see you. And if you want to get take-out on drill weekends, I fully support you 😉

Olivia Moser is a National Guard spouse of a CW04 CH-47 Pilot in the Nebraska Army National Guard. They have two children and an active puppy at home. She is a member of the Soldier Family Readiness Group (SFRG) for her husband’s current unit and is a member of the local Auxiliary Legion post. Olivia works full-time as a Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner (LIMHP) and Clinical Program Manager with the State of Nebraska. She is a trained crisis negotiator, forensic interviewer, and QPR suicide prevention facilitator. She is also on the state’s Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) team.

Go to ne.ng.mil for more information about the NEARNG

https://ne.ng.mil/FPO is a resource for Warrior & Family Support in the NEARNG

You Will Never Know, Unless You Are a Military Spouse

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Happy to have this guest post by Hannah.Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.comand let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

You Will Never Know, Unless You Are a Military Spouse

You will never know how it feels sending the person you love the most, the person you built your life with, off to a war zone.

You will never know the heart wrenching fears that run through our mind.

You will never know the deep breath we take when your child asks, “Mommy, What if daddy doesn’t come home?”.

You will never know the courage it takes to explain to your children what daddy is doing, and why it makes him a REAL hero.

You will never know the longing we have for our spouse. Longing for their touch, and simply just their presence.

You will never know the heartbreak of holding your crying child who misses their other parent.

You will never know what it’s like going a year without holding your spouse’s hand, giving them a kiss, or just being able to look into their eyes.

You will never know the feeling of uncomfortable quietness while waiting for the phone call to assure you that your spouse is okay.

You will never know how it feels hoping and praying you don’t get “that” knock on the door. All while knowing the reality of the situation- it COULD happen.

You will never know the dreadful feeling in our stomach the night before they deploy.

You will never know how differently we look at other couples, only reminiscing on our own memories with our deployed spouse.

You will never know the thought of honesty that crosses our mind when someone asks us how we are doing today.

You will never know the heartbreaking sympathy we have for our Gold Star Families.

You will never know the warm feeling that runs through our heart, when we read or hear “God Bless America”

You will never know how much we value time spent with our spouse.

You will never know how hard it was to be strong.

You will never know the ache behind our smile.

You will never know how hard it is for us to ask for help.

You will never know how easy it is to love someone who is thousands of miles away, across the ocean.

You will never know how you’re brought closer in your marriage than you ever were before.

There’s something about being a military spouse that makes us all special. The hurt, the pain, and the sacrifice that we also go through. Being a military spouse is not for the weak. We are forced to reach down and find our inner strength. Not only does that make us incredibly brave, but it also makes us a little bit of a badass.

Often times I hear people say, “I don’t know how you do it.” Or “I could never do it.” Often times I find myself sitting there, wishing I had a friend to call. A friend who actually understood what I was going through. It then hit me that none of my civilian friends would understand the struggles I go through as a military spouse. It’s not a conversation that is carried on when brought up.

Because when you are not a military spouse, there are things that you will never quite understand. Things that bond us, military spouses, together. A connection that is instantly made. A deeper feeling of understanding that no one else will ever know unless you are a military spouse.

My name is Hannah, wife of a soldier, sweary mom of 2, running off coffee and chaos, living in Louisiana!

3 Ways Military Spouses Can Jump Start Their Careers Right Now

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Hiring Our Heroes

In 2010, when I married my airman on a random weekend with a hastily made supermarket bouquet in a Texas courthouse, I had not even heard the words “military spouse employment programs.”

In fact, I wasn’t even sure why I would need a military spouse employment program. I wasn’t aware of what I was about to encounter when my new life and my career path collided. But collide they did – and I soon found myself no longer evaluating career opportunities on merit, my skillset, or what sounded like fun.

I was evaluating every employment opportunity on the question, “Can I make this job work?”

Looking back, that makes my heart hurt a little.

I know so many spouses that have done the same soul-searching when forcing jobs to fit. I was fortunate to eventually find a rewarding career after many challenging decisions and a double dose of hard work.

Twelve years later, I see not limitations, but possibilities for military spouses seeking meaningful career opportunities. Military spouses, I am here to tell you that the time is now to jump-start your professional career.

Are you ready? Here are 3 ways to do it.

Take Advantage of Returnship and Internship Programs for Military Spouses
Returnships are designed for those returning to work. As I look at employer trends in the latter half of the year, I see many companies committing to returnships and internships for professionals and new grads who put their careers on hold in 2020. These programs provide a professional boost to anyone who took some time off from work and has a gap on their resume, or to those who are looking to pivot into a new industry.

You can visit an employer’s career webpage to see if they have this type of program available. If you search their site and can’t find anything specific to returnships, try connecting with a recruiter for that organization on LinkedIn and asking about return-to-work options.

Internships and fellowships can also be used to jump back in, but there’s usually also a component of new work experience with these programs. For this reason, fellowships are perfect for career-pivoters. Career-pivoters are new to their field. They are also those who want to explore the ins and outs of life at a particular company before accepting a full-time job offer.

To find internship programs, check with your educational institution. Or if you live in one of eight service locations, apply for the Military Spouse Fellowship Program at Hiring Our Heroes. This unique program is a paid, six-week experience on the job with one of the program’s host companies. In 2021, this experience led to a full-time job offer for 92% of participants.

Use the New Remote Work Landscape to Upskill and Reskill into Portable Career

There is an explosion of remote and hybrid work opportunities now, rendering your next PCS a small inconvenience instead of a career-stopper.

The demand for remote workers is especially high in the tech space. These jobs are very competitive, so to have a leg up, consider adding some new skills to your repertoire. Thankfully, as military spouses, we have access to a variety of educational benefits and support organizations to do this at no cost.

If you are eyeing jobs in fields like UX/UI design, project management, IT support, digital marketing, or data analytics, you may want to check out the Career Forward program at Hiring Our Heroes. This learner-to-earner program can take you from career dreams to job offers with the help of our staff.

If you love data management or have already begun to learn about careers in the rapidly growing customer relationship management (CRM) software industry, take a look at the Hiring Our Heroes’ Salesforce Fellowship Program.

Military spouses are eligible for free training to learn Salesforce through Salesforce Military. After earning the Salesforce administrator certification, you can receive hands-on work experience using your new Salesforce skills with a fellowship at one of 55 host companies located nationwide. The program currently has a 95% job offer rate.

Leverage Your Network

One glaringly obvious issue that has always made military spouse career progression difficult is the lack of professional connections when we arrive to a new area and the inability to maintain a network as we move around.

The importance of networking is not waning and, with digital tools and groups, professional networking is easier than ever.

Invest time in LinkedIn – it’s not just about your profile! Once you have most of your profile filled out, connect with people who work at companies you are interested in, who are experienced in your industry, or who have a common interest with you. Take a few minutes each day to comment on their posts and post your own job search updates to your network.

While you’re leveraging your network, lean on your fellow military spouses.

The Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network has a presence virtually and at 55 locations around the world. MSPN provides online career development resources and virtual networking platforms to help military spouses build their professional network before they arrive at a new military installation.

In case you haven’t heard it lately, your professional goals are important. You have so much to offer the business community as a talented, adaptable, and knowledgeable military spouse. There’s never been a better time to demonstrate your value as an employee. I hope you’ll take the first step toward achieving professional success according to your own definition.

And if you need additional support, there’s much more to discover at Hiring Our Heroes including webinars, virtual hiring fairs, Amplify career intensives, and Career Connectors to help you navigate it all.

Good luck – you’ve got this!

Danielle Lankford is the San Antonio & Dallas/Fort Worth Program Manager for the Military Spouse Fellowship Program at Hiring Our Heroes. Hiring Our Heroes is an initiative of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation. You can connect with Danielle on LinkedIn.

My Experience as a Hispanic Military Spouse

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My Experience as a Hispanic Military Spouse

How I Learned English and Thrived

La Isla del Encanto. Have you heard of that place? It is a small island in the Caribbean. Puerto Rico is a paradise with captivating beauty and culture. The home where I spent the first 19 years of my life. During my teenage years, I often told my parents that I was never leaving my home, my community, or my country. Learning English at school was a struggle, and I was not interested in making an effort. I thought it was pointless. Ironically, after high school graduation, my boyfriend joined the U.S. Air Force; and you can probably guess what happened after that. I left my family, my home, and my country.

Not even in my wildest dreams would I have thought of living on the other side of the world. But, you guess again, my new home was not in the United States but in Japan. Have you watched Men in Black II? In the final scene, Agent K calls Agent J a rookie and kicks a door open. Agent J is shocked to find out that the world as he knows it is just a part of something bigger. That is how I felt when I arrived in Okinawa, my husband’s first duty station.

Soon enough, I regretted my past lack of effort in learning English. Speaking with others was not only challenging but nerve-wracking. It is accurate to say it was impossible. Keeping up with the speed at which people spoke was difficult. It did not help that I would try to translate everything from English to Spanish in my mind. I could not understand a word or form a sentence, for that matter. I was frustrated and lacked confidence. So what did I do?

I enrolled in an online university to continue my education. My first class was English. This time, I was determined to learn; and I did, but it was challenging every day. I know completing my school work took longer just because of the language barrier. Countless tears, sleepless nights, and six years later, I earned my B.A. in Psychology from Penn State University. During those six years, I moved three times and had two children. It has been ten years since I became a military spouse, and I have learned many lessons.

From mistakes I made to things I would do differently, this is my advice:

● Prioritize wellness. Seek professional support sooner than later.

● Choose approach over avoidance.

● Do not isolate yourself.

● Take your time but do it.

● Everything takes practice. Take the first step.

● Find resources! There are many now.

● Ask for help; there are kind and caring people out there.

● Get social and take advantage of social media platforms.

● Stay connected to family and friends. It is still possible when you are far.

● Keep a balance.

● Do not compare yourself to others; follow your path.

● Believe in yourself.

I wish you the best in this challenging and incredible journey!

Here are more resources that I have found useful:

Written by guest writer, Lourdes Gonzalez!

Why All Military Spouses Should Join the Military Spouse Advocacy Network (MSAN)

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Why All Military Spouses Should Join the Military Spouse Advocacy Network

I’ve been a military spouse for a little over a year now. Prior to becoming a milspouse, my husband and I dated long distance for years. This was great “training” for what life would be like together- but apart. I always joined the local FRG to access information, discover local meet-ups, and meet new people. I WISH I had known about the support offered by MSAN.

Flash forward to this year I decided upon a career change for many reasons, one of which was the uncertainties in life that come with being a milspouse. I discovered MSAN through LinkedIn and am taken back by the network of support that is offered. MSAN has connected me with so many other spouses who have pointed me in the right direction on the path to a new career. It is incredible how many phone calls, messages, and job postings have been shared with me through other members of MSAN.

I became a mentor with MSAN this past June. I am grateful to have the opportunity to give back to other spouses, the way many spouses have done for me. As a mentor, I help others navigate the ins and outs of TRICARE, DEERS, and other military-related services. MSAN mentors also offer a listening ear, for we are all in this together. One of my favorite parts of being a mentor at MSAN is my responsibility to post a new recipe every “Tasty Thursday” on our Mentorship HUB. Curious about MSAN? Shoot me a message! I would love to connect you with our resources.

Nina Dahl is a Plant mom and pizza enthusiast on the search for the best slice in Florida. Loves her new job, her family, and going to the beach. Energized by CrossFit, helping others, and romance novels. You can contact Nina at ndahl@milspouseadvocacynetwork.org or find her on LinkedIn.

9 Lessons Learned On Our Military Retirement Journey

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9 Lessons Learned On Our Military Retirement Journey

By Melonie Kennedy

This is it. We’re handing in the keys to our on-post housing in a few days, then my husband will begin terminal leave. After sixteen years of marriage, seven duty stations, several deployments, and so many TDY’s I can’t even remember them all, it’s over. He’s out. The End.

Retirement is a huge transition for him, of course, after twenty years in the Army. I didn’t expect, however, what a big jump this would mean for me. This is a scary new beginning, perhaps the scariest of them all. I’ve tried to avoid wool-gathering and prepare just like any other PCS. As ready as I am to get into this next chapter, though, I’m also not feeling ready. It’s not just another PCS. There’s so much up in the air, and that leads me to lesson one:

Remember military retirement is a major life change! As accustomed as we are to moving frequently and reestablishing a home base every few years, this time there’s a big difference. We’re in a new division of the military community: The Retirees. Our mission now as a family is to figure out what comes next and create a new battle rhythm that may be like nothing we’ve ever experienced before.

Additionally, as with normal PCSs, there may be a grieving process, especially if you’re moving from your final duty station as part of the retirement process. We’re saying goodbye to friends, getting those last tourist bucket list things marked off, taking steps to find a job, and shepherding a teen through the same changes all while getting him ready for college. As exciting as this new adventure is, it’s full of questions. That takes me to lesson two:

Communication is key – and not just with the various agencies your service member is dealing with on the military side! It’s okay to say you’re not okay. Consider scheduling in downtime for yourself and as a couple. We, military spouses, are incredibly resilient people, but resilience is built up when we have purposely created a buffer zone. Whether it’s a facial or a coffee date, sometimes talking to a therapist via Telehealth or simply curling up with a book for an hour – account for the fact that this is a huge transition period that automatically comes with stress, and account for the fact that mindfulness during the transition is vital. Having grown up an Army brat, then spending this long as a military wife, I kind of don’t know where I stand anymore, and I’ve had to observe and unpack those feelings. This takes us to lesson three:

You’re not alone. It may feel like it some days, just like it may have at times in your spouse’s military career. They, and you, are not cast aside and left to drift and figure this out on your own! From the moment retirement appears on the horizon, start finding your support folks; as Mr. Rogers advised, “Look for the helpers.”

I was pleasantly surprised to learn how many resources there are out there for transitioning families. Get in touch with the folks at your branch’s Transition Assistance Program (TAP) office early. We spouses are invited to attend as well because TAP isn’t just about military paperwork. The TAP office my husband worked with offered links to resumé workshops, seminars on VA home loans, and much more. Going through TAP early leaves you time to go back through if you’d like to dig deeper and ask the TAP reps questions on a second go-round.

Another great option is the USO, which sponsors a wide variety of in-person and virtual seminars. They cover more topics than I can even list here, and the schedules accommodate for locations worldwide. There are also the Veterans Service Organization (VSO) representatives, who are individuals accredited by the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to help ensure service members have access to qualified representation during the VA claim process. The Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) and several other organizations have accredited VSOs available; a full list of VA-recognized VSOs is available via the Veterans Affairs website.

Lastly, don’t forget to start making connections within military retiree organizations and civic groups within your community, especially if you are moving with children. They will gain assistance putting down new roots through community options just like they’ve done every move, and now those roots can include a nice taproot into their home turf!

As you may have noticed, the more lead time you have before retirement, the better. We made the decision for my husband to submit his retirement request about eighteen months out from his projected departure date, which left time to get things rolling on several fronts. That takes us into lessons four through seven, which have a big point in common: make use of any waiting period you have until retirement!

Get your house in order, especially your finances. If you’re not already debt-free, try to get there. This will help you get a solid footing when the service member’s pay changes from their active duty rate to their retirement pension. This foundation also provides an assist with the timing of the first retirement check, any VA benefits the military retiree is awarded, and the arrival of paychecks if they will be employed after their military time ends. If there’s a lag time on funds, you’re still good to go if you aren’t living paycheck to paycheck at this stage.

Save, save, save! As with any other PCS, there will be costs affiliated with your move. If you own a home away from your final duty station, you’ve got to get there. While certain costs will be reimbursed after a move, you may be in a situation where you’re receiving BAH during terminal leave, so hotel stays will be accounted differently. Then of course there are the usual things that feel like they nickel and dime us to death every move: getting groceries again, the random little things that are needed in a new home, meals on the road, and so forth. Even if you are already living in your forever home, with all these changes, costs will come up. Having as much put away for a rainy day as possible is always to your benefit.

Speaking of financial matters: while you’re anxiously awaiting The Big Day, make the most of your time and get life insurance before the service member gets their VA physical. In some cases, automatically switching from Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) to Veterans Group Life Insurance (VGLI) may not actually be your most cost-effective plan. The same applies for spouses and other dependents currently insured through Family Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance.

While sticking with the known entity with no medical questions or exclusions may be tempting, if you’re in fairly good health, it is well worth your time to sit down with a few companies and get some quotes for coverage. My husband contacted three companies for quotes and we were able to compare all coverage, terms, and costs over a weekend and choose the one that was the best fit for us. (Why do this before the VA physical? Findings documented by the VA may affect rates and coverage availability.)

On our last point about time and money: encourage your service member to use this time to use Credentialing Assistance and Tuition Assistance if at all possible. Don’t leave money on the table! They can earn certifications to build their resumé and build their employability, or work toward a college degree without using their GI Bill on active duty. There are also many free and low-cost certification and schooling options available for military spouses to take advantage of; you’ll learn about some of them through the TAP sessions and the USO’s offerings, but another great place to find helpful organizations and programs is LinkedIn.

That takes us to lesson eight, one that was a real shocker for me: LinkedIn is your friend, milspouses! I’ve personally had a LinkedIn account for over a decade and really didn’t get much use out of it. Like many people, I thought LinkedIn was “social media for suits”. Since getting more active on the platform in early 2021, I’ve had my eyes opened to the many possibilities LinkedIn offers, particularly for those of us with military affiliations.

There is a wealth of opportunities for networking with other folks in our community; start with #militaryspouse, then look for groups specific to spouses or to your area of employment interest. There are also job listings, information about hiring fairs (on and off base and virtual), and ways to find franchise opportunities specifically for veterans. Add in the fact that we spouses can receive a year of LinkedIn Premium for free through Military OneSource’s Spouse Education & Career Opportunities (MySECO), and you’ve got another great reason to sign up or really start using your LinkedIn account to its full potential. The Premium version allows access to LinkedIn Learning and a variety of other professional tools that users may find helpful in networking and job hunts.

My two cents, with no affiliation to the company on my part: LinkedIn is worth it for you and your retiree-to-be, whether you’re looking for work post-military or want to be able to mentor and guide others following in your footsteps. It’s actually the way I connected with Julie, our wonderful hostess here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life, and can share these thoughts with you about our retirement journey!

And now we’re at lesson nine: Have the Ceremony.

My soldier is not big on pomp and circumstance. I’m an introvert, quite content that the bulk of my “peopling” is done via email thanks to working from home for two decades. There was to be no retirement ceremony. We were simply going to load the U-Haul and quietly ride off into the sunset.

My husband’s commander saw things differently and put his foot down. You don’t give twenty years of your life to the military and just slip away; you deserve recognition and closure. There had to be some sort of ceremony.

We huffed and puffed and gave in on the matter, setting up a fairly intimate shindig at a favorite restaurant. We added in a presentation of a military “brat” coin and a certificate of appreciation for our son. Some family members were able to make it, as well as a large group from the unit, and some good friends we’ve bumped into at multiple duty stations. As luck would have it, we had soldiers there from the beginning of my spouse’s active time, the middle, and the end.

There were stories told, plenty of laughs, and more tears than expected. We introduced our non-military family members to a side of my husband that they hadn’t seen during visits and the usual tours of housing and the Exchange; it gave his friends a chance to celebrate with him; it gave us a chance to recognize the resilience of our son, who like me, has been a dandelion child floating around the world at the behest of Uncle Sam.

Barbecue and cake were served, and in the end, we were incredibly grateful to the leader who called for the touching sendoff. So no matter how large or how small you make it, please schedule in a time to celebrate your service member, yourself, and all involved in getting you to this point. You’ve made it. Happy military retirement – here’s to your next adventure!

Melonie Kennedy is a military wife, homeschooling mom, author, and small business owner. Connect with her at https://www.linkedin.com/in/meloniek/

4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

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4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

“Everything is weird” was my initial gut reaction after moving home to the United States not quite two months ago. I am sure it was also my reaction three plus years ago when first arriving on Okinawa—the little subtropical island which is home to 13 U.S. military bases.

I essentially have no regrets about my time as an honorary island girl, but if I ever got the chance to PCS back to Okinawa again, there are few things I would do differently, or at least do more of.

When your time on Okinawa or in Japan wraps up, there are sure to be bucket list items you didn’t get to. For example, my husband and I always said we wanted to tour the Naval Underground area from WWII, and, well…nope, we never did do that. But that’s not the kind of “do more” that I mean.

Absolutely make your list of things you want to see and do and try to check them off, but when I say “do more,” I mean knock out the big stuff. If it’s your first time on the island, here are my take-aways as someone who has “been there, done that.”

Before moving to Okinawa, I was sure a car would not be necessary. I had traveled to Tokyo and figured it would be very similar. And, of course, I was wrong! There are public buses on Okinawa, plenty of taxis, and a monorail in the Naha area, but the majority of folks find a car the easiest way to get around.

So, buy an island car and don’t be afraid to drive it. Yes, the steering wheel is on the opposite side of the car. Yes, you’ll hit the windshield wipers when you meant to use your turn signal (also known as “the Okinawa wave”), and yes, you’ll probably drive down the wrong side of the road at least once, but let’s hope not more than twice! Remember, you’ll also be giving yourself the opportunity to get out of the house more and have a lot of adventures.

Learn Japanese. You’ll pick up the very basics even without trying very hard, but three years is a relatively short time to learn a new language. I’m almost embarrassed by how little I learned. Give it some effort and see how far your learning can take you. Knowing just a little extra vocabulary and a few common phrases will enrich your experiences when you are out and about.

Meet more people. Isn’t this great advice no matter where your duty station is located? However, when you are living overseas, it is really important to avoid isolating yourself. It will be harder to get home to see family and friends, and it might even be difficult to communicate with them while living in a different time zone. Surround yourself with people who can keep your island days nice and bright, just as they should be.

And lastly, worry less. An OCONUS PCS is a huge deal, often more difficult than other PCS moves you may have been through. Do whatever you need to do in order to worry less about what’s going to happen and what it’s going to be like on Okinawa, or in Japan (or wherever else your service member’s career may take you). It’s not worth it to be concerned about all the “What if?” scenarios. You’ll wind up missing out on all the, “Wow, isn’t that amazing!” moments.

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post by Angie Andrews