Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Guest Writer

How a Deployment Led to a Career She Never Saw Coming: A Military Spouse Spotlight

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I had the pleasure of sitting down for a Zoom interview with my guest writer, Katie McDonald. Enjoy!

While Julie is known for her popular blog, Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life, her marriage started out as a civilian one. Her husband, Ben, was in the Army for two years, but had been out for a couple of years already when they met and quickly fell in love in Northern California. They were married in 2002, had their first son in 2004, and moved to Kentucky the following year.

Julie was a stay-at-home mom, and Ben was working various jobs. However, this lifestyle wasn’t working for their family, so they considered easing back into military life with the Reserves. However, it wasn’t a good fit, and Julie “couldn’t imagine [him] just being gone.” Months later, Ben ultimately decided to re-enlist in the Army as an active-duty soldier, and their entire world would be turned on its head. 

How a Deployment Led to a Career She Never Saw Coming: A Military Spouse Spotlight

A Major Life Change

Julie and Ben assumed that he would need to redo basic training and that a cross-country or international move would be months away. However, they were shockingly told that Ben would be moving to Germany in just two weeks, and their lives completely changed overnight. Because Ben’s move was right before Thanksgiving, the logistics of having Julie and their son join him were complicated by holiday delays. Julie joked that “waiting on paperwork” was “a good introduction to military life,” but after finally receiving command sponsorship and their tourist passports, she and her 18-month-old son were able to fly to Germany. 

Military life was a bit of a culture shock for Julie. While she had grown up in Southern California near two Marine Corps bases, she was not used to living overseas or preparing for deployments. Shortly after becoming pregnant with their second son, Ben received orders to deploy, and he left when she was 25 weeks pregnant. Julie’s mom, thankfully, was able to support her for two months leading up to and after the delivery; given the uncertainty surrounding Ben’s timeline, this was a huge blessing for Julie’s growing family. 

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How a Deployment Led to a Career She Never Saw Coming: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Julie gave birth in the middle of December, and while her husband was sent home that same day, it took him three days to arrive and meet their new son. He had only two weeks of R&R to bond with his growing family, and his entire brigade was postponed several times when he returned to Iraq. As a result, he didn’t see his wife and children again for almost a year during a difficult 15-month deployment. 

Julie remembers the high casualty rates that deeply impacted their small base. “Every spouse was going through it,” she said. “In a lot of ways, it was comforting to have those spouses to go through it with.” She misses the community mentality of helping each other out through their shared seasons of stress, uncertainty, and loneliness. 

Finding the Bright Spots

In the month after the deployment, they went back to California for a month to spend time with family, and while she dreaded the idea of returning to the stresses of Germany, she did go back. In an unexpected stroke of good fortune, some of the brigade moved to another post in Germany a couple of months later, and Julie’s perspective shifted when she saw their brand-new government-leased housing. “I cried because it was so much nicer than our stairwell apartment,” she remembered, and she began to feel more optimistic. 

While her husband was away on another deployment, Julie was determined to keep herself busy. She and her close friend both had young children and wanted to take advantage of the affordable Space A flights to spend the summer with their families. While it wasn’t always smooth sailing and there were plenty of unexpected bumps in the road (from unavailable lodging to canceled flights), Julie was able to successfully travel back to California to spend time with her and her husband’s families, with a two- and four-year-old in tow. “I’m so glad I had that adventure,” Julie said. “Military spouses need to have adventures.” 

The Power of the Pen 

How a Deployment Led to a Career She Never Saw Coming: A Military Spouse Spotlight

When Julie returned to Germany, there was still time left in the deployment, and she was determined to keep her mind busy. She had read a friend’s homeschool-focused blog and was inspired to share her own stories and experiences. The blog was originally called Julie the Army Wife, and her first post was about what to wear to a military Homecoming.

She renamed the blog so it wouldn’t be focused solely on her experiences and perspective, and was pleasantly surprised by the attention and positive reception her work received. “I had never thought about being a writer as a job,” Julie admitted, but her first full-time writing job was an unexpected and hard-earned blessing in 2017. With three children, two with special needs, Julie was unable to work outside of the house, so being able to write for a living from home has been a game-changer for her. She currently works as a content specialist and reflected that “this is really cool that me being bored in Germany led to this.” 

Julie says that her blog is what her past self would have needed, and she believes that “every situation you go through is a chance to help someone in the future.” Describing her blog as her “fourth baby,” she is proud of all the growth it’s experienced. Because her husband has retired, she is actively seeking active-duty spouses to share their stories to keep the perspectives fresh. 

Blogging, however, has not been without its difficulties. “Not everyone is kind and appreciates it,” she admitted, but she reminds herself how many people are benefiting from the stories she shares. For any spouses who want to share their stories, Julie wants you to remember that “no matter what you’re posting, someone might not like it,” but that shouldn’t stop you from using your voice. 

How a Deployment Led to a Career She Never Saw Coming: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Changes Continue 

After their time in Germany, Julie and her family moved to Fort Campbell in 2010 and have since settled in and stayed in the community. At the time of their move, their children were three and five years old, and it was a challenge to adjust to cultural differences, keep two young children busy, and manage her third pregnancy. 

Her husband’s fourth deployment was the hardest because of the toll of solo parenting. Their middle son had just been diagnosed with autism, and supporting him alone was challenging. On their first day without Ben, one of her sons got a rock stuck in his ear at Boy Scout camp. On top of managing her young children in the emergency room, the air conditioning at their home gave out on the same day. The stress of the deployment “literally broke me,” Julie said, and she sought out a therapist. 

Seeking Help 

There’s a mentality in the military spouse community that “you have to just do it and suck it up,” but Julie knows from experience that sometimes it’s just too hard to do it all alone and without support. If it’s too much, she encourages spouses to see a therapist or go home for a few months. “We need each other; what we’re going through is really hard,” Julie says. Community support is of the utmost importance, especially during deployments. 

Julie also believes that having regular, scheduled activities to keep yourself and your kids busy is crucial. For example, Julie suggested having a Friday pizza night with other families or starting a book club.

While it’s easy to feel like there’s nothing to do or “start feeling like it’s always going to be like this,” you have the power to join a club, take your kids to the park, and to find something you can do on a regular basis that brings you purpose or joy. It’s all about your mentality and intentionality.

While it’s “easy to go once and never go back and it’s really easy to get discouraged,” Julie encouraged spouses to be consistent. For example, she took her kids to a play group every week. She shifted her mindset to focus on the positives of her kids having fun, and she believed that she would eventually meet people and make friends as well. “I encourage people to get creative, try new things, and don’t be afraid to get out of their comfort zone.” 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

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Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

When I found out I was pregnant, it was not the picture-perfect moment my husband and I had envisioned. There was an image in our minds of an orchestrated and planned reveal. At the very least, we thought we would find out together. But when I took a pregnancy test on a whim a couple of months after we got married, our whole lives changed. We were overjoyed to be parents, but I was also filled with anxiety about what that would look like thousands of miles from home. 

I was symptom-free, but I had a sneaking anxiety in the back of my mind that only a test could quiet. I fully expected it to be as negative as it had been the month before, so I didn’t wait for my husband to come home from work. 

However, instead of the strong, single line that I expected, there was a noticeable second staring back at me. It was the middle of the night on the East Coast, but I immediately video called my mom, holding the test up to the screen. Was I seeing this right? Was that a second line? Even though she was half asleep, she confirmed, yes, I was reading that right. That’s a second line; you’re pregnant. 

I immediately called my husband in tears, overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. When I told him I had just taken a pregnancy test, he promised he would drive back as soon as he could. I found a digital test that gave me my answer in no uncertain terms. I was going to be a mom, and my lifelong dream of starting my own family was coming true. 

I was so happy and had been wanting to be a mom for as long as I could remember. However, I was also so nervous about this pregnancy. Being on a small, relatively remote island means that mothers and babies can be sent to Japan or Hawaii for more intensive and specialized care. I was worried about something going wrong and needing to fly for hours to get the resources my baby or I would need.

My mom had been hospitalized and suffered from severe morning sickness with both of her pregnancies, and I worried I would face similar challenges without my support systems. In this moment of massive change, I ached with homesickness for my mom and all that was familiar. I was on the literal other side of the world, and while I had made peace with that fact, this massive change rocked my confidence. 

When I went in for my first appointment, I was immediately struck by the reality of our projected summer move, which was less than a year away. Sure, there was the to-do list of setting up a nursery that would need to be packed away almost as soon as it was put to use, but there was also the pressure to get our baby a passport as soon as possible to prepare for an overseas move. I was lucky, though, to have my husband with me at every appointment. His calm and confidence were so needed to steady my bundle of nerves before and during those early appointments.

I waited with dread and anxious anticipation for the debilitating morning sickness to arrive, but to my great relief, I was spared from that painful fate. I was nauseous throughout the first trimester, so while I normally enjoyed grocery shopping and cooking dinner, my husband and I had a steady diet of beige colored foods.

Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

Baked potatoes, crackers, cereal, and toast became my best friends, and while I didn’t always feel my best, I still managed to work part-time and get some errands done. I waited with bated breath for the worst-case scenarios of bed rest and hospitalization, but they never came. I wasn’t feeling like myself, but I was managing. I could sigh with a little relief as I inched closer and closer to the second trimester and things continued to progress without concern.

The scariest moment for me was when I caught the flu at the beginning of my second trimester. I went from feeling fine to having full body aches like I’ve never experienced in my life. Even lying on the bed was painful, but that was all I could manage. My husband came home as early as he could in the evenings, but I spent hours alone, wishing we weren’t such a long and expensive plane ride away from home. While the two weeks of sickness and recovery felt endless, they passed, and our baby was just as healthy as before. I faced down my fears and came out the other side tired but stronger than before. 

In the months that followed, we were able to travel to Saipan, Kyoto, Tokyo, Virginia, and Florida as a couple, and I was able to make a trip to Virginia on my own as well. We had the good fortune of seeing both of our families, and spending time traveling with my husband did me a world of good. With his busy schedule and my transition to part-time and freelance work, it’s been easy to feel lonely, anxious, and unmotivated, but getting to explore new and familiar cities with our favorite people reinvigorated me every time.

I worried before every trip about the plane ride and the possibility of something going wrong, but every time, none of my worst fears proved themselves to be true. I began to believe with real confidence that everything was going to be okay. In fact, it was better than okay. Things were genuinely going well. 

My mom hosted a virtual baby shower for me, and both of our families logged onto Zoom to offer their support. We’ve been overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends in the States and our newfound community here in Guam. My husband’s coworkers have been incredibly generous in passing down baby items that their own children have outgrown, and our families and friends have helped to purchase the essentials. Our hallway quickly filled with Amazon deliveries and handmade blankets accompanied by words of love and support. We may not be physically nearby, but we are never far from their hearts. 

We found out that our PCS will be moved to the fall, and having at least two unexpected extra months before our next overseas move has given me infinitely less stress and infinitely more confidence. Traveling with a 5-month-old instead of a 3-month-old doesn’t sound like a big difference, but it means the world when you’re scrambling to get a Social Security card, passport, a reasonable amount of sleep, and enough visits to the pediatrician to assure yourself that a plane ride to another country is a good idea. Again, the things I most feared seemed to be less scary in the light of day. Life, with all of its complexities and curveballs, has a way of working itself out, even when we doubt it will. 

With every obstacle I feared or faced, it felt as though a guardian angel had been watching over our baby girl and us. My anxieties have been assuaged as each day passes without catastrophe, and while there’s been bumps in the road, homesickness, and the discomforts that come with pregnancy, there’s been such a growing excitement and peace as the due date creeps ever closer.

Giving birth overseas was not something I had planned for, and while my heart aches that we’ll be crossing milestones so far from our family, I know we have so much to look forward to when we get to visit (and eventually move back to) the States. While military marriages are filled with unexpected obstacles and unique challenges, life has a way of offering us support and strength when we need it the most. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

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How to Estimate and Utilize Your Basic Allowance for Housing

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How to Estimate and Utilize Your Basic Allowance for Housing

Written by Kaitlyn Neitman, a Content Coordinator with Redfin, powered by Rocket. 

When you’re part of a military family, there is a lot to navigate when it comes to housing. Whether you’re renting near base or preparing to buy a home, understanding your benefits, like your Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), can make a big difference in your budget and long-term plans.

Here’s a quick guide to learn what BAH is and how to use tools like the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator to understand how this benefit could work for you and your family.

What is Basic Allowance for Housing?

Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) is a monthly, tax-free benefit provided to eligible active-duty service members in the U.S. military. It’s designed to help offset the cost of housing when government quarters aren’t provided. You can apply BAH to rent, mortgage payments, utilities, or other housing related expenses. 

BAH is tailored to your specific situation, and it’s calculated based on three main factors:

  • Duty station location: Housing costs vary widely across the country, so BAH rates are higher in more expensive areas and lower in more affordable markets.
  • Pay grade: Military rank plays a role in determining how much you receive.
  • Dependency status: Service members with dependents typically receive a higher allowance than those without.

For many families, BAH becomes a key part of the decision to rent or buy. In higher-cost areas, it could make renting the more practical choice, while in more affordable markets, buying a home can help you build equity over time.

Why estimating your BAH matters

Even though BAH rates are published annually, your actual housing decisions often happen months before a move. Estimating your BAH ahead of time can help you plan for several steps in the homebuying process, like:

  • Setting a realistic housing budget
  • Comparing renting vs. buying a house 
  • Understanding how much home you can afford
  • Avoiding overextending financially in a new duty station

This is especially important if you’re considering buying a home, where monthly costs include property taxes, insurance, and other fees in addition to the mortgage premium.

How to use the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator

For a quick, user-friendly way to estimate your housing allowance, the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator is a helpful place to start. It’s designed to give military families a fast snapshot of what they might receive based on their situation. Here’s how to use it: 

  1. Enter your duty station ZIP code: BAH is location-specific. This tool uses local housing data to estimate your allowance. 
  2. Select pay grade: Since BAH increases with pay grade, inputting rank helps refine your estimate and align it with earnings. 
  3. Indicate dependency status: Selecting whether you have dependents will impact your monthly allowance and ensure the estimate reflects your household size. 
  4. Review your estimated BAH: The calculator will provide an estimated monthly allowance based on the information you provide. While this is not an official figure, it’s a strong starting point for budgeting and planning. 

Turning your BAH estimate into a housing plan

Putting your estimate into context is one of the best ways to utilize this number. There are a few things you can do to understand your estimated BAH and what it could do for you: 

Compare it to local housing costs

Look at rental listings or home prices in your duty station area. If your estimated BAH comfortably covers rent, renting may offer flexibility, especially if you expect another move soon.

If your BAH aligns well with mortgage payments, it could be worth looking into what options you have to buy a house, especially if you plan to stay for a few years and want to build equity. The Rocket Mortgage BAH Calculator also includes military homebuying tools and resources to help you explore these options. 

Factor in additional expenses

BAH is meant to broadly cover housing costs, but keep in mind the additional expenses. Insurance, property taxes, maintenance and repairs, and HOA fees are just a few examples of monthly costs that can come with home ownership. Even renting can require separate utility payments, additional parking fees, or annual increases to the total rental costs. It’s important to factor these into any housing budget plan you make so you aren’t relying on BAH alone. 

Think about your timeline

Military life often means moving every few years. If you’re considering buying, think about:

  • How long you expect to stay
  • Whether you’d rent the property out later
  • The potential for home value appreciation

A shorter timeline may favor renting, while a longer assignment could make buying more appealing.

A flexible benefit for a flexible lifestyle

BAH is one of the most valuable financial tools available to military families. It adapts to your location, your rank, and your needs, giving you the flexibility to choose housing that works for your lifestyle.

By combining a solid understanding of how BAH works with tools like the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator, you can approach your next move with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re settling into a new duty station or planning your first home purchase, having a clear picture of your housing allowance helps you make decisions that support both your finances and your family.

Basic Allowance for Housing FAQs: 

Who is eligible for BAH? 

BAH is for active-duty service members and their families. If you or your spouse is currently serving full-time in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Space Force, or Coast Guard, you’re eligible to receive it. 

Do I have to pay taxes on BAH? 

No, BAH is a tax-free benefit not subject to federal or Social Security taxes. 

How often does BAH change? 

The BAH rates are updated annually and are effective on January 1. Individual rate protection prevents your BAH from going down as long as you are assigned to your duty station. A reduction to your rate only happens with a pay grade reduction or a change in dependency status for your family. 

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story?  If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here! 

Creating Community: A Military Spouse Spotlight

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Shiloh is an Air Force wife, mother, and community organizer who has helped to build and maintain supportive groups for families in Guam. After becoming a mother in Hawaii and moving to Guam with a young child, Shiloh recognized the importance of being a good villager and creating a support system to keep loneliness, isolation, and boredom at bay. 

Life Changing News

Before PCSing to Hawaii with her husband, Shiloh had never lived outside Missouri, except for a few months as a toddler. She intended to make the most of the opportunity by learning to surf and completing an internship with the Children’s Justice Center. However, she became pregnant a month after their move, so outdoor adventures were largely put on the back burner, and her life was soon consumed with the demands of motherhood. She began to make new friends when her son was six months old, and she appreciated the wide variety and availability of activities in Hawaii. However, this newly developing support system was interrupted by her move to Guam. 

With the move to a smaller, further, and more isolated Pacific island, Shiloh wanted to be really intentional about supporting her son in making friends. She was struck by how little was offered for children under the preschool age range and felt like she needed to start something to build a community for herself and other moms in the same position. 

She decided to put herself out there by posting about starting a playgroup on Facebook, and she received a hugely positive response from other moms looking for genuine connections and opportunities for themselves and their children to socialize. 

Creating Community: A Military Spouse Spotlight

The Power of Playgroups 

Shiloh reflected that she’s always been a community organizer; she led a neighborhood egg hunt when she was eight years old and has always taken joy in organizing communal events. This outlet had been lost during the trenches of new motherhood in Hawaii, but she was determined to reclaim that vital part of herself in Guam. Having always worked or been in school, Shiloh emphasized the importance of having something that was hers and that she could pour her passions into. 

The playgroup started simply with 2 events a week that touched on two main themes: playground socialization time and exploring Guam like a tourist. Because her husband was busy, Shiloh recognized that there were so many activities that weren’t as fun to do alone, so she invited families to join her for outings to the Guam Museum, Ritidian Beach, Inarajan Natural Pool, and other popular spots. Listening to the group’s feedback, she began a monthly “crafts and coffee” event where moms could focus on a craft while their kids played together. From hikes to book clubs, there’s something for every family’s interest and endless ways to find and foster friendships. 

The group has been in existence for a year and currently has over 350 members, most of whom are associated with the military. Shiloh was especially excited that other women have stepped up to host events, ensuring the group’s longevity with the ever-changing dynamics of PCS season. She wanted to create a space that would survive and thrive long after she moves to her next duty station, a challenge many military-affiliated groups face. “The playgroup has become the cornerstone of people’s village here,” Shiloh said with pride.

Outside of in-person meetups, Shiloh is also proud of the virtual engagement and community the group has cultivated. Members are invited to reflect on their week every Saturday evening on the group’s Facebook page, and an active group chat allows people to ask for, offer, and receive support. For example, a mom recently wrote that she was struggling to keep up with her house, and multiple members volunteered to lend a hand during her time of need. “I want it to be community building and a little village,” Shiloh said, and it’s evident that hundreds of families are benefiting from the friendship and support the playgroup offers. 

The key, Shiloh said, is “if you want a village, be a villager. If I set up a meal train, then I’m the first to bring a meal. You can’t be passive and expect your community to build.” While she said that it’s always awkward and hard to initially make introductions and put yourself out there, she can guarantee that everyone wants to make more friends.  

Creating Community: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Friendship and Faith

“I was throwing myself headlong into everything when we got here because I wanted to build a system here,” Shiloh admitted. “I need people I can depend on, so I hit the ground running.” She had attended just two meetings of Just Among Military Moms (JAMM)—a faith and fellowship group for women on Andersen Air Force Base—when she helped to fill a leadership void. 

The group has had its peaks and valleys in the past year, and Shiloh began with significant obstacles. Facing budget cuts, Shiloh had to work even harder to create an intentional group that was “not just another reason to get together…[it would be] soul building.” Believing that “anybody can start anything” because “our world is built by people who have the audacity,” Shiloh was undaunted in crafting themed events and a retreat to bring the community together. She is proud to be in a position where leadership trusts her and to be reaping the fruits of her labor a year later. 

A Plan to Give Back 

Shiloh’s self-proclaimed toxic trait is that she’s always looking for more things to do. “I love to be busy and have my things,” she said, and admitted that while she loves being a mom, she also misses working. She was a Registered Behavior Technician for three years and worked with kids on the autism spectrum.

With a degree in psychology and years of hands-on experience, Shiloh has a desire to get her master’s degree in social work. Just dealing with children’s behaviors, she believes, is not enough; there are deeper issues beyond diagnoses, and home life is a huge factor that impacts mental health. “There is so much more in mental health than the mind; I want to get to the heart of it,” she said. 

She would like to start a therapy practice with multiple providers focusing on EMDR and trauma therapy for kids struggling with abuse and neglect. Having seen how impactful it is to care for providers, she wants to work with and support mental health providers because second-hand trauma is a real challenge. While her desire is to work with kids in the long run, she wants to wait until her own are older first. 

The community-building work that she’s doing now is ultimately developing her skills for social work. She is getting to know on a real level the struggles moms and their kids are facing. She appreciates the freedom that volunteering and leading gives her; without a boss, she is free to pursue her interests and passions on her own timeline while still being fully present for her son. For other moms who feel like they’re not making career progress outside of their homes, Shiloh encourages them to volunteer or make things to donate because there’s a need for assistance wherever you’re stationed. 

Creating Community: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Final Reflections

“People don’t realize how much agency they have,” Shiloh said, and she encourages others to have the bravery and initiative to find and fill the needs in their community. “If there’s nothing in your area, you can make the thing.” After all, she said, her playgroup didn’t start with hundreds of members. If you start small and are genuine, your efforts will grow organically. You just need the courage to begin. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

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Jasmine is an Air Force wife, middle school math teacher, and dive master who has fully taken advantage of her latest duty station in Guam. While she faced challenges during the PCS process, she persevered and has embraced once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.

Travels and Tribulations

Jasmine met her husband, Geoff, while he was stationed in England. He was stationed at Mildenhall and living by Newmarket, and she was 30 minutes outside of Cambridge, working on her teaching certification. As luck would have it, her default Tinder radius was wider than she thought, and the two matched.

From the beginning, she knew their dating would be serious and that his Air Force career would move them around the world. As their relationship progressed, Geoff received three-year orders to North Carolina, and Jasmine later moved to join him after she completed her teaching certification in England. 

However, this major move was not without its obstacles and trials. While she was able to visit her husband, her American visa was denied, so she was ultimately stuck in England for 18 months waiting for travel approval. Geoff received orders to Guam during this time, but with Jasmine’s visa situation still unresolved, her first year in Guam was an isolated one. 

Making The Best of It

Because it took a year for her to get her visa, Jasmine was unable to leave Guam and couldn’t get her driver’s license, leaving her stuck in the house for most of her day. Not wanting to succumb to boredom, Jasmine leaned into new hobbies.

She set three goals for herself at the gym to keep herself motivated: do a pull-up, deadlift two plates, and bench a plate. She’s proud to have met all these goals and says that “setting goals kept me going and kept me sane.” She also learned how to upcycle furniture by watching YouTube videos. From painting an old bookshelf to reupholstering chairs, she transformed old pieces into something beautiful. 

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Turning Point

Once her visa was approved, Jasmine was eager to begin working and filling her days. She started off as a substitute teacher before transitioning to full-time teaching at another school in town. Once she’d collected a few paychecks, she decided to put the money towards a rekindled passion: diving. 

Jasmine was originally certified in Barbados at 16, so she scheduled refresher dives to rebuild her skills and confidence. As luck or fate would have it, a woman asked Jasmine on her very first boat dive if she’d join her on a diving trip to Palau. Even though they’d just met, Jasmine agreed to the adventure and quickly got her advanced and deep-water certifications completed. Two months after that first boat dive, Jasmine was exploring the pristine reefs in Palau.

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Exploring New Worlds

Diving has become a central part of Jasmine’s time in Guam, and her hobby has morphed into a career. She’s been able to dive in Palau, Chuuk, Guam, and Yap, and will be going to Pohnpei for Spring Break. Each island offers its own unique attractions and challenges for divers.

Because of Operation Hailstone, Chuuk has many wrecked ships to explore, and people fly from all over the world to participate in wreck and technical dives. Yap Day is an annual holiday celebrating traditional Yapese culture, and Jasmine was fortunate enough to experience it for herself during her dive trip. She’s looking forward to diving with the black manta rays and sharks in Pohnpei.

While all of these islands are acclaimed diving sites, their remote locations make visiting them time and cost-prohibitive for many hobby divers. Living in Guam gave Jasmine the opportunity to live near these far-flung islands and to develop relationships with divers who are skilled at leading exploratory dives. 

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Jasmine has completed over 300 dives and has earned her dive master certification, elevating her from a recreational to a professional level. She’s excited that she can be paid to guide dives and has begun work as a contractor with a local dive shop. When she and her husband move to Florida later this year, she is hopeful that she can continue to dive and potentially lead dive trips.

In addition to dive trips, Jasmine has fully taken advantage of Guam’s proximity to Asia to travel. She and her husband went to Seoul, South Korea, where they saw the Starfield Library, the Gangnam Style Horse Dance Statue, and Seoul Tower. They also visited Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka, Japan, during cherry blossom season and took a belated honeymoon trip to Bali for two weeks.

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Living the Movie Magic 

Before her husband had even received orders for Guam, Jasmine had watched and loved the Netflix movie, Operation Christmas Drop. Based out of Guam, Operation Christmas Drop is the Department of Defense’s longest-running humanitarian airlift operation. Volunteers help to collect vital supplies that are dropped to dozens of Pacific islands before Christmas to spread hope and “love from above.”

After watching the movie so many times, Jasmine was determined to get involved as soon as she arrived in Guam. During her first year, one of her friends had sponsored a box, so she was invited to decorate and fill it during a packing day. The next year, she helped collect donations at the Commissary and packed a box with another friend. During her third year, she continued to volunteer, but her fourth and final year was her biggest and most successful. 

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Jasmine was “always asking to help” and was able to join the event committee. She organized and led a dive-cleanup fundraiser, created trivia questions for a fundraiser, participated in a fundraising run, and kept asking how she could be involved. “There’s no harm in asking; you just have to keep on asking and pestering,” Jasmine said, and her diligence paid off.

After her family joined her for the annual box-packing event, Jasmine learned she had been chosen to ride on the C-130 to Chuuk for a drop. It’s a rare and unique opportunity to be chosen to fly along, and it was only possible because of Jasmine’s dedication to the cause. 

Diving Into Opportunities: A Military Spouse Spotlight

Final Reflections

Overall, Jasmine is grateful for her time in Guam and all the unique opportunities it has presented her with. “When else can I say I went on a dive on a Tuesday after work and saw manta rays,” she said, reflecting on how saying “yes” to opportunities has given her so much fulfilment and purpose. While the first year was difficult and lonely while she waited to get her driver’s license, Jasmine made up for lost time with travel, diving, and work. 

The only predictable part of military life is that it’s unpredictable, but if you embrace the adventure, are unafraid of being told “no,” and are willing to try new things, you might just discover a whole new world of opportunities. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel.. https://www.katiereads.com/

Know an Amazing Military Kid? Here’s How to Honor Them with National Recognition

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Know an Amazing Military Kid? Here’s How to Honor Them with National Recognition

Nominate. Elevate. Celebrate.  

National nonprofit Our Military Kids is asking people across the country to act on those three words to honor the bravery and leadership of military kids by sharing their during the Courageous Kids Contest.  

Our Military Kids offers support and community to children of National Guard, Reserve, and wounded, ill, or injured post-9/11 veteran parents. They do that by distributing activity grants (more on that in a minute!) and hosting the Courageous Kids Contest.  

How to enter 

Here’s exactly what you need to know about the contest. The Courageous Kids Contest is an annual event that celebrates kids during the Month of the Military Child. Nominations are open until March 8.  

Adults are invited to nominate a child or teen who has demonstrated leadership or role model qualities in their communities, activities, and/or within their families in the past year, while also having a parent who: 

  • Deployed with the National Guard or Reserve in 2025, OR 
  • Received care for a post-9/11, combat-related injury, illness, or wound in 2025 

Contest winners are announced in April and receive a cash prize, prizes from GOVX, a certificate, and national recognition. 

Applying for activity awards 

Let’s talk about Our Military Kids’ activity awards, too. Applications are available year-round for eligible military families. Each child in a family can receive a grant worth up to $300 to help them participate in an activity of their choice—like swimming lessons, indoor drumline, tutoring, or Little League. The grants allow kids to enjoy a passion, gain confidence, create special memories, and build onto their existing support system without an increased strain on family finances.  

The impact is huge. In the 22 years of Our Military Kids’ existence, they’ve distributed more than 100,000 activity awards, investing in thousands of military kids. Just like the Courageous Kids Contest, the activity awards have a ripple effect across the military and across thousands of communities all over the country. 

Nominate a military child today 

National Guard, Reserve, and wounded veteran families can often feel disconnected from the military and civilian communities. The Courageous Kids Contest offers those families and friends share what life is like for their military kids. It also gives a chance for kids to be elevated and celebrated for their accomplishments, sticktoitiveness, and courage in the face of obstacles and challenges.  

Don’t miss your chance—take a few minutes to complete the short form to nominate your kiddo at ourmilitarykids.org/contest. If you don’t have an eligible military kid to nominate, please share this article with a friend who does. The Our Military Kids team can’t wait to be inspired by the bravery and leadership of this year’s nominated kids and to share their stories with the world. 

Know an Amazing Military Kid? Here’s How to Honor Them with National Recognition

Joanna Guldin is a contract communications professional working with Our Military Kids to support the 2026 Courageous Kids Contest. Joanna has worked in the military community for more than a decade with for-profit and non-profit entities. She is the writer behind one Jo, My Gosh! and is the co-founder of PILLAR, a yearly virtual retreat for military spouses and significant others dealing with their partners’ deployment.  

Taking the Fear out of Friendship

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No one warns you how hard it is to make friends as an adult. I remember the quiet darkness of my first apartment and the loneliness of navigating my first job.

I remember the struggle to meet new people when my budget was tight, my free time was limited, and interesting and recurring activities were hard to find. That experience, however, was a walk in the park compared to the adjustment of being a military wife a few years later.

Over the course of four years, I had established genuine friendships, working relationships with my coworkers, and membership in organizations that filled my cup and brought me joy. Suddenly, that period of stability was uprooted by a move thousands of miles away to Guam, the furthest point away from Virginia that I could possibly think of. My friends and family were a 24-hour, over two-thousand-dollar plane ride away, and calls and texts had to be navigated over a 14-hour time difference. 

It’s been a year and a half since that major transition, and we’re preparing for another international move this summer. While I’m nervous for the change, I’m feeling less afraid this time. I’ve found a community that makes saying goodbye and see-you-later difficult. I know that there will be a period of loneliness and anxiety, but I am hopeful for the friendships that I will build in every new place that we call home. 

If you’re in the same boat, here are some ways that I’ve found success with finding friends.

Work 

Maintaining your career while moving every 2-3 years is challenging, especially if you’re navigating childcare, lengthy deployments, and an industry that is location-specific. As a teacher, I am a bit constrained by state licensing requirements, but I was lucky enough to land a job at a private school during my first year.

Having the same familiar work routine was comforting, and I was lucky enough to have a cohort that included another American who was brand new to Guam. We were both engaged, about the same age, and from similar places, and we began to seek each other out for company. We currently compete in pub trivia every week, have played pickleball, have celebrated Memorial Day with a BBQ, and have celebrated a birthday together. 

Outside of my full-time job, I also wanted the opportunity to work for myself and to build a career that could easily travel with me. I began to teach creative writing classes in the community, and this was a fantastic opportunity to collaborate with and meet groups and business owners with similar interests. It pushed me outside of my comfort zone and led to some meaningful coffee conversations. 

Volunteering

Ever since I was in college, volunteering has been an easy way to meet new people and to build and develop a variety of skills. The only cost is my time, but the payoff of making a difference and getting to interact with like-minded people is immense.

On-base opportunities like the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society, spouses’ clubs, and the USO offer easy access for spouses who want to get more involved with their military community, and animal shelters, food pantries, environmental cleanups, and arts nonprofits are always looking for assistance off-base. If you’re missing the routine of a full-time job, volunteering can help you to maintain and develop many similar skills on your own schedule, and that flexibility can be essential in an often unpredictable life. 

Facebook is Your Friend

The spouse Facebook groups in Guam have been lifesavers, helping me get my questions answered and find events to attend. I’ve seen many spouses post “friendship applications” sharing their interests and a desire to make new friends, and threads about local events have helped me find other helpful Facebook groups.

For example, someone shared a book club that has since become one of the highlights of my month. From scuba diving to running to crafting to reading, there’s been a meet-up planned for every interest, and online communities are a great way to advertise and learn about them. I recently posted about my interest in organizing reading and writing meetups at local coffee shops, and I’m so excited to meet women with similar interests. 

Be Part of the Village

The saying “it takes a village” rings true in military communities, but it’s essential to be an active participant yourself. My husband’s coworkers have invited us over for BBQs and kids’ birthday parties, and we have, in turn, worked to share the love. Whether it’s baking cookies for the office, helping to cook for brunch, or inviting others to join us for a meal or local event, we’ve grown closer by showing up.

Saying yes to invitations and extending your own invitations goes further than you think towards cementing friendships. Remember, most people are also far from their friends and families, so having the chance to watch a football game or meet up at the park for a playdate or share coffee together is often a very welcome proposal. 

Pursue Your Passions

In doing what you love, you’ll naturally find other people who share that interest. Whether you’re in your church’s choir, a new member of a running club, or just reading in a coffee shop, odds are there will be other people doing the exact same thing who are also hoping to make friends. It can be intimidating and scary to start a conversation with a stranger, but I always remind that the worst someone can say is “no,” and then I’m right back where I started. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel.. https://www.katiereads.com/

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story? 

 If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here! 

Celebrating the Holidays Overseas When You Are Stationed in Guam

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If you’re like me, you probably have a soft spot for the cheesiness and heart of Hallmark Christmas movies. Like clockwork, the characters embrace their hometowns, are changed for the better, and are filled with holiday cheer. While we probably aren’t running our family’s bakery or tree farm, there’s a part of all of us that dreams about being home for the holidays surrounded by our loved ones.

However, for military families like us that are stationed overseas, going home is often impossible when thousands of dollars and so many hours of travel time stand in our way. There is a level of loss and heaviness as we see our group chats and social media feeds filled with beloved traditions that we are forced to miss yet again. The holidays remind us, more than any other time of year, how much we miss. 

That isn’t to say, however, that the holidays are always a blue season. In our two years in Guam, my husband and I have found joy by recreating our favorite traditions and forging new ones. 

  1. Leaning on Friends

Like so many people, we found comfort in participating in a Friendsgiving this year. We traveled with three other families to nearby Saipan for a long weekend filled with food, friendship, and lots of time at the pool. We had the traditional fixings of turkey and stuffing, but there was also a sizeable sushi buffet and various island favorites. In a holiday centered around gratitude, we were thankful to have friends who have become our community.

Last Christmas, I travelled back home to visit my family, but my husband had to stay behind because of work commitments. I worried about him becoming lonely, but he was warmly included by his friends. From being welcomed into a family dinner on Christmas Eve to making a breakfast casserole on Christmas with two other friends who were away from their families, he made memories he still fondly recounts. 

  1. Making New Traditions

During our first Thanksgiving in Guam, I felt discouraged and overwhelmed at the idea of making a traditional dinner with all the fixings just for my husband and me. My husband suggested that we take a trip during that long weekend and totally reinvent what we would normally eat. We took a short plane ride to Tokyo and ate endless courses of sushi on Thanksgiving. Immersing ourselves in a new city and culture helped us to create new memories, and we want to find ways to include sushi in all of our Thanksgiving dinners now! 

  1. Finding the Familiar When You’re Far Away

While there is a lot that has changed in our lives, there are some simple things we have kept the same. We still set up our Christmas tree and enjoy viewing Christmas decorations. Whether it’s the giant Christmas tree at the mall, festive decorations in hotel lobbies (including an impressive gingerbread house), or watching a Christmas parade, there are familiar nods to home everywhere we look.

It might be over 80 degrees outside, but that doesn’t mean we can’t turn our television into a virtual fireplace and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate. I’m looking forward to baking Christmas cookies, wrapping presents, and attending Christmas Eve mass. The military takes so many things out of our control, but focusing on what we can is what makes all the difference. 

While there’s nothing quite like being home for the holidays, military families know that home is wherever we’re currently stationed. In whatever country or continent we find ourselves in, we find new and familiar ways to make the holidays special. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel.. https://www.katiereads.com/

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story? 

 If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here!