Guest Writer

Embrace the Suck: Advice to a MilSpouse Going Through Your First Deployment.

June 26, 2026 by Guest Writer 1 Comment

Happy to have this guest post by Megan on her best advice for a military spouse. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

Embrace the Suck: Advice to a MilSpouse Going Through Your First Deployment.

I just spend 3 hours on the phone with a spouse friend discussing spouses going through their first deployment. She’s a seasoned spouse who has been through her own trials and tribulations with deployments. I am a spouse going through my first deployment.

The more we talked the more I realized how different all her experiences are from my first. I guess the bottom line is it doesn’t matter if it’s your first or you’re tenth deployment. It doesn’t matter if it’s a 6-month deployment or a year deployment. It all sucks. So, the question is how to embrace the suck of a deployment.

I use the saying embrace the suck a lot when talking about my deployment experience. It’s become my deployment motto. It sounds harsh but it’s true.

When you are dealing with a deployment you must embrace the suck. We don’t like it. We don’t want to do it. It’s hard.

But there is nothing we can do about it. The truth is….it sucks, and we must rise to the occasion and survive it. So…. embrace the suck.

There is a lot of negative feelings surrounding the word deployment. When I married the military, I never heard one good thing that involved a deployment. It’s either terrible or sad.

The only good thing I can remember seeing or hearing is the welcome home videos online. Those are like Hallmark movies and always hit you in the feel-goods. Doesn’t matter how tough you are, watch one of those videos and you will cry! Outside of the welcome home, there isn’t a lot of good being said about a deployment.

So…. I’m going to share my suck and the positives of my first deployment. Here’s my advice for spouses going through their first deployment. Are you ready?!?!?

Pre-deployment is terrible.

There will be fighting. You will not see eye to eye on anything. You as a spouse will want to cherish everything you do together or as a family. You will want to cling to him, hug him, kiss him and you will cry a lot.

He will not. He is preparing to leave you. Most service members take this time to emotionally separate from their spouses.

Do not take this personally. They are packing bags and getting ready to do one of the hardest things they have to do……leave their families. It’s not easy for them to walk away but it’s their duty. Understand that it’s mission first and their way of dealing with being away from you at this point.

Once they leave, they will call home and sound super happy and excited.

You will not be being happy or excited. You will still be sad and adjusting to your empty house, your new single parent responsibilities, or an empty house.

They will be living their best life. I know this is hard to understand but that’s a good thing. You want them to be happy. You want them to be excited.

I once told a spouse who was frustrated with this. It’s so much better to hear your deployed spouse is living their best life than them calling you miserable. If they call you miserable, that’s when you understand you cannot help them.

It will break your heart; you will feel completely helpless and, in all honesty, there is nothing you can do for them. So, when your spouse calls home telling you how amazing it that’s a good thing. Even when life isn’t that great for you now.

I will say I am not one of those spouses who will tell you to hide your emotions from your deployed spouse.

I know there are a lot of spouses out there that will tell you not to tell your service member the bad stuff going on at home. You’re supposed to tell them it’s all rainbows, sunshine, and glitter. You’re not supposed to cry.

However, I am one of those spouses that will tell you to openly communicate with your service member. Your service member needs to know how you are feeling, that you miss them, that it’s been a hard day and that Murphy moved into your home.

I’m not saying blow the phone up but don’t emotionally shut down. Your service member still needs to know things just like when they are having a hard time, they will need you.

Murphy will move into your home.

Murphy’s law says if it will go wrong it will. Murphy will be like the boyfriend you can’t break up with. Stuff you never imaged would happen will happen.

You will have to watch YouTube videos and learn to do all kinds of stuff you never dreamed you would do. Keep in mind this is a good thing and brag to your service member. After all, not every spouse can fix a hot water heater! FYI lawn mowers need oil. Not sure who needs to hear this, but they do!

Your service member will have hard days.

There will be days when something happens, and they need you. You need to be able to give them a pep talk.

Love them from a distance and be supportive. Even when you are having a bad day. You need to be prepared to be there for them. Sometimes at the end of the day, they might be having a harder day than you are. Please recognize that and support them the best way you can.

Find your tribe!!!

And I don’t mean a tribe of civilian friends. I mean a tribe of military friends. A tribe that can understand, keep your secrets, and gives you guidance. I would not be able to survive all the cray of a deployment without my tribe of military spouses. They will guide you, love one (even from afar), and being your sounding board. You cannot do a deployment without a military spouse tribe.

Prepare yourself for the phone calls, texts, and video chats to tapper off.

There will come a time when the communication slacks off. This does not mean something is wrong. This means your service member is doing their job or enjoying some downtime.

Try not to take it personally if you do not feel emotionally connected to your service member. They are getting into their new normal just like you are. It’s a process.

I know it’s hard, it was for me. I didn’t like my husband being so far away and not wanting to constantly talk to me. But just like you are living your new life alone they are there to do a job so they can get back home to you.

Take some time to grieve.

It took me two months to pick up my husbands’ shoes off the living room floor or to fold the last load of his laundry. Leave it there until you are ready. When you are you will know. There is not a rule book on how to handle these kinds of things. It’s hard. Take your time. When you’re ready to pick the shoes up, you will.

Take this time apart as a positive thing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard, there will be bad days but try new things. Find new hobbies, go to school, focus on work, eat junk food in bed, and watch whatever you want on TV. Deployments do not mean it’s the end of a marriage or the world. It can be a great time for you to self-reflect and discover new things about yourself.

Remember deployment is temporary.

I know going into a 13-month deployment it felt like it would last forever. It’s temporary. Your service member will come home. Everything you’re going through or will go through is temporary. Just keep that in the back of your mind, it will eventually end.

There will be anxiety when the end is coming.

I have not personally experienced the end of a deployment, yet. My husband is still gone right now. However, I did get to watch a homecoming of my best friend and her husband.

Don’t worry about the perfect coming home outfit. Wear something comfortable. You really don’t know how you will react when you see your service member.

When I saw my friend see her husband for the first time, she ran to him, threw her shoes off, and jumped in his arms. I realized I needed to wear pants and tennis shoes after watching them. It was the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Cue the Hallmark movie theme music and tears.

Finally, remember you are a military spouse!

You married the military. You love your service member. You are strong. You have made it through TDYs, PCS, Schools, trainings, and anything else the military world throws at you.

Some of you have had babies without your spouses, have raised babies without your spouse, faced all kinds of obstacles without your spouse and who knows what else. We can do this, and we will do this!

You will get through all the suck. You will cry, you will be lonely, you will have great days, you will have terrible days. It’s part of it but at the end of the day, YOU CAN DO IT!!! It’s what makes Military spouses special!

The best advice I can give it try to enjoy yourself. Take a vacation. Enjoy your alone time.

Spend time with friends and family. Go to school. Dive into work. Work in your yard. Crochet a blanket. Whatever it is that you have always wanted to do……do it!!!

It’s the perfect time to discover who you are. Love yourself and the time will pass. Remember embrace the suck. That’s all you can do. Embrace the suck and live your best life.

My name is Megan Davis. I have a full-time paying job and volunteer jobs that I love. I currently work as a Personnel Supervisor at Westaff where I match people in my community looking for jobs with companies looking for workers. I volunteer as the Family Readiness Group Leader for the 2-108 CAV Squadron in Shreveport. I work with Military Spouse Advocacy Network (MSAN) mentoring other National Guard Spouses. Following these passions, I was recognized as the 2020-2021 Louisiana National Guard Spouse of the Year. I love helping people, specifically military spouses. One of my main goals is to make sure military spouses know they are not alone when trying to navigate through the military world. I want to help give them the courage to speak out and help build a support system for them so they can make it through all the crazy things the military life throws at us. I am also a student at the University of Louisiana at Monroe for my bachelor’s degree in risk management. Graduating from ULM has been my biggest goal for years and I am proud to say I am almost there.

Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

April 10, 2026 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

When I found out I was pregnant, it was not the picture-perfect moment my husband and I had envisioned. There was an image in our minds of an orchestrated and planned reveal. At the very least, we thought we would find out together. But when I took a pregnancy test on a whim a couple of months after we got married, our whole lives changed. We were overjoyed to be parents, but I was also filled with anxiety about what that would look like thousands of miles from home.

I was symptom-free, but I had a sneaking anxiety in the back of my mind that only a test could quiet. I fully expected it to be as negative as it had been the month before, so I didn’t wait for my husband to come home from work.

However, instead of the strong, single line that I expected, there was a noticeable second staring back at me. It was the middle of the night on the East Coast, but I immediately video called my mom, holding the test up to the screen. Was I seeing this right? Was that a second line? Even though she was half asleep, she confirmed, yes, I was reading that right. That’s a second line; you’re pregnant.

I immediately called my husband in tears, overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. When I told him I had just taken a pregnancy test, he promised he would drive back as soon as he could. I found a digital test that gave me my answer in no uncertain terms. I was going to be a mom, and my lifelong dream of starting my own family was coming true.

I was so happy and had been wanting to be a mom for as long as I could remember. However, I was also so nervous about this pregnancy. Being on a small, relatively remote island means that mothers and babies can be sent to Japan or Hawaii for more intensive and specialized care. I was worried about something going wrong and needing to fly for hours to get the resources my baby or I would need.

My mom had been hospitalized and suffered from severe morning sickness with both of her pregnancies, and I worried I would face similar challenges without my support systems. In this moment of massive change, I ached with homesickness for my mom and all that was familiar. I was on the literal other side of the world, and while I had made peace with that fact, this massive change rocked my confidence.

When I went in for my first appointment, I was immediately struck by the reality of our projected summer move, which was less than a year away. Sure, there was the to-do list of setting up a nursery that would need to be packed away almost as soon as it was put to use, but there was also the pressure to get our baby a passport as soon as possible to prepare for an overseas move. I was lucky, though, to have my husband with me at every appointment. His calm and confidence were so needed to steady my bundle of nerves before and during those early appointments.

I waited with dread and anxious anticipation for the debilitating morning sickness to arrive, but to my great relief, I was spared from that painful fate. I was nauseous throughout the first trimester, so while I normally enjoyed grocery shopping and cooking dinner, my husband and I had a steady diet of beige colored foods.

Baked potatoes, crackers, cereal, and toast became my best friends, and while I didn’t always feel my best, I still managed to work part-time and get some errands done. I waited with bated breath for the worst-case scenarios of bed rest and hospitalization, but they never came. I wasn’t feeling like myself, but I was managing. I could sigh with a little relief as I inched closer and closer to the second trimester and things continued to progress without concern.

The scariest moment for me was when I caught the flu at the beginning of my second trimester. I went from feeling fine to having full body aches like I’ve never experienced in my life. Even lying on the bed was painful, but that was all I could manage. My husband came home as early as he could in the evenings, but I spent hours alone, wishing we weren’t such a long and expensive plane ride away from home. While the two weeks of sickness and recovery felt endless, they passed, and our baby was just as healthy as before. I faced down my fears and came out the other side tired but stronger than before.

In the months that followed, we were able to travel to Saipan, Kyoto, Tokyo, Virginia, and Florida as a couple, and I was able to make a trip to Virginia on my own as well. We had the good fortune of seeing both of our families, and spending time traveling with my husband did me a world of good. With his busy schedule and my transition to part-time and freelance work, it’s been easy to feel lonely, anxious, and unmotivated, but getting to explore new and familiar cities with our favorite people reinvigorated me every time.

I worried before every trip about the plane ride and the possibility of something going wrong, but every time, none of my worst fears proved themselves to be true. I began to believe with real confidence that everything was going to be okay. In fact, it was better than okay. Things were genuinely going well.

My mom hosted a virtual baby shower for me, and both of our families logged onto Zoom to offer their support. We’ve been overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends in the States and our newfound community here in Guam. My husband’s coworkers have been incredibly generous in passing down baby items that their own children have outgrown, and our families and friends have helped to purchase the essentials. Our hallway quickly filled with Amazon deliveries and handmade blankets accompanied by words of love and support. We may not be physically nearby, but we are never far from their hearts.

We found out that our PCS will be moved to the fall, and having at least two unexpected extra months before our next overseas move has given me infinitely less stress and infinitely more confidence. Traveling with a 5-month-old instead of a 3-month-old doesn’t sound like a big difference, but it means the world when you’re scrambling to get a Social Security card, passport, a reasonable amount of sleep, and enough visits to the pediatrician to assure yourself that a plane ride to another country is a good idea. Again, the things I most feared seemed to be less scary in the light of day. Life, with all of its complexities and curveballs, has a way of working itself out, even when we doubt it will.

With every obstacle I feared or faced, it felt as though a guardian angel had been watching over our baby girl and us. My anxieties have been assuaged as each day passes without catastrophe, and while there’s been bumps in the road, homesickness, and the discomforts that come with pregnancy, there’s been such a growing excitement and peace as the due date creeps ever closer.

Giving birth overseas was not something I had planned for, and while my heart aches that we’ll be crossing milestones so far from our family, I know we have so much to look forward to when we get to visit (and eventually move back to) the States. While military marriages are filled with unexpected obstacles and unique challenges, life has a way of offering us support and strength when we need it the most.

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

Interested in writing your own guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life?

How to Estimate and Utilize Your Basic Allowance for Housing

April 6, 2026 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Written by Kaitlyn Neitman, a Content Coordinator with Redfin, powered by Rocket.

When you’re part of a military family, there is a lot to navigate when it comes to housing. Whether you’re renting near base or preparing to buy a home, understanding your benefits, like your Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), can make a big difference in your budget and long-term plans.

Here’s a quick guide to learn what BAH is and how to use tools like the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator to understand how this benefit could work for you and your family.

What is Basic Allowance for Housing?

Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) is a monthly, tax-free benefit provided to eligible active-duty service members in the U.S. military. It’s designed to help offset the cost of housing when government quarters aren’t provided. You can apply BAH to rent, mortgage payments, utilities, or other housing related expenses.

BAH is tailored to your specific situation, and it’s calculated based on three main factors:

Duty station location: Housing costs vary widely across the country, so BAH rates are higher in more expensive areas and lower in more affordable markets.
Pay grade: Military rank plays a role in determining how much you receive.
Dependency status: Service members with dependents typically receive a higher allowance than those without.

For many families, BAH becomes a key part of the decision to rent or buy. In higher-cost areas, it could make renting the more practical choice, while in more affordable markets, buying a home can help you build equity over time.

Why estimating your BAH matters

Even though BAH rates are published annually, your actual housing decisions often happen months before a move. Estimating your BAH ahead of time can help you plan for several steps in the homebuying process, like:

Setting a realistic housing budget
Comparing renting vs. buying a house
Understanding how much home you can afford
Avoiding overextending financially in a new duty station

This is especially important if you’re considering buying a home, where monthly costs include property taxes, insurance, and other fees in addition to the mortgage premium.

How to use the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator

For a quick, user-friendly way to estimate your housing allowance, the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator is a helpful place to start. It’s designed to give military families a fast snapshot of what they might receive based on their situation. Here’s how to use it:

Enter your duty station ZIP code: BAH is location-specific. This tool uses local housing data to estimate your allowance.
Select pay grade: Since BAH increases with pay grade, inputting rank helps refine your estimate and align it with earnings.
Indicate dependency status: Selecting whether you have dependents will impact your monthly allowance and ensure the estimate reflects your household size.
Review your estimated BAH: The calculator will provide an estimated monthly allowance based on the information you provide. While this is not an official figure, it’s a strong starting point for budgeting and planning.

Turning your BAH estimate into a housing plan

Putting your estimate into context is one of the best ways to utilize this number. There are a few things you can do to understand your estimated BAH and what it could do for you:

Compare it to local housing costs

Look at rental listings or home prices in your duty station area. If your estimated BAH comfortably covers rent, renting may offer flexibility, especially if you expect another move soon.

If your BAH aligns well with mortgage payments, it could be worth looking into what options you have to buy a house, especially if you plan to stay for a few years and want to build equity. The Rocket Mortgage BAH Calculator also includes military homebuying tools and resources to help you explore these options.

Factor in additional expenses

BAH is meant to broadly cover housing costs, but keep in mind the additional expenses. Insurance, property taxes, maintenance and repairs, and HOA fees are just a few examples of monthly costs that can come with home ownership. Even renting can require separate utility payments, additional parking fees, or annual increases to the total rental costs. It’s important to factor these into any housing budget plan you make so you aren’t relying on BAH alone.

Think about your timeline

Military life often means moving every few years. If you’re considering buying, think about:

How long you expect to stay
Whether you’d rent the property out later
The potential for home value appreciation

A shorter timeline may favor renting, while a longer assignment could make buying more appealing.

A flexible benefit for a flexible lifestyle

BAH is one of the most valuable financial tools available to military families. It adapts to your location, your rank, and your needs, giving you the flexibility to choose housing that works for your lifestyle.

By combining a solid understanding of how BAH works with tools like the Rocket Mortgage BAH calculator, you can approach your next move with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re settling into a new duty station or planning your first home purchase, having a clear picture of your housing allowance helps you make decisions that support both your finances and your family.

Basic Allowance for Housing FAQs:

Who is eligible for BAH?

BAH is for active-duty service members and their families. If you or your spouse is currently serving full-time in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Space Force, or Coast Guard, you’re eligible to receive it.

Do I have to pay taxes on BAH?

No, BAH is a tax-free benefit not subject to federal or Social Security taxes.

How often does BAH change?

The BAH rates are updated annually and are effective on January 1. Individual rate protection prevents your BAH from going down as long as you are assigned to your duty station. A reduction to your rate only happens with a pay grade reduction or a change in dependency status for your family.

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story? If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here!

Know an Amazing Military Kid? Here’s How to Honor Them with National Recognition

February 18, 2026 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Nominate. Elevate. Celebrate.

National nonprofit Our Military Kids is asking people across the country to act on those three words to honor the bravery and leadership of military kids by sharing their during the Courageous Kids Contest.

Our Military Kids offers support and community to children of National Guard, Reserve, and wounded, ill, or injured post-9/11 veteran parents. They do that by distributing activity grants (more on that in a minute!) and hosting the Courageous Kids Contest.

How to enter

Here’s exactly what you need to know about the contest. The Courageous Kids Contest is an annual event that celebrates kids during the Month of the Military Child. Nominations are open until March 8.

Adults are invited to nominate a child or teen who has demonstrated leadership or role model qualities in their communities, activities, and/or within their families in the past year, while also having a parent who:

Deployed with the National Guard or Reserve in 2025, OR

Received care for a post-9/11, combat-related injury, illness, or wound in 2025

Contest winners are announced in April and receive a cash prize, prizes from GOVX, a certificate, and national recognition.

Applying for activity awards

Let’s talk about Our Military Kids’ activity awards, too. Applications are available year-round for eligible military families. Each child in a family can receive a grant worth up to $300 to help them participate in an activity of their choice—like swimming lessons, indoor drumline, tutoring, or Little League. The grants allow kids to enjoy a passion, gain confidence, create special memories, and build onto their existing support system without an increased strain on family finances.

The impact is huge. In the 22 years of Our Military Kids’ existence, they’ve distributed more than 100,000 activity awards, investing in thousands of military kids. Just like the Courageous Kids Contest, the activity awards have a ripple effect across the military and across thousands of communities all over the country.

Nominate a military child today

National Guard, Reserve, and wounded veteran families can often feel disconnected from the military and civilian communities. The Courageous Kids Contest offers those families and friends share what life is like for their military kids. It also gives a chance for kids to be elevated and celebrated for their accomplishments, sticktoitiveness, and courage in the face of obstacles and challenges.

Don’t miss your chance—take a few minutes to complete the short form to nominate your kiddo at ourmilitarykids.org/contest. If you don’t have an eligible military kid to nominate, please share this article with a friend who does. The Our Military Kids team can’t wait to be inspired by the bravery and leadership of this year’s nominated kids and to share their stories with the world.

Joanna Guldin is a contract communications professional working with Our Military Kids to support the 2026 Courageous Kids Contest. Joanna has worked in the military community for more than a decade with for-profit and non-profit entities. She is the writer behind one Jo, My Gosh! and is the co-founder of PILLAR, a yearly virtual retreat for military spouses and significant others dealing with their partners’ deployment. 

Taking the Fear out of Friendship

February 9, 2026 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

No one warns you how hard it is to make friends as an adult. I remember the quiet darkness of my first apartment and the loneliness of navigating my first job.

I remember the struggle to meet new people when my budget was tight, my free time was limited, and interesting and recurring activities were hard to find. That experience, however, was a walk in the park compared to the adjustment of being a military wife a few years later.

Over the course of four years, I had established genuine friendships, working relationships with my coworkers, and membership in organizations that filled my cup and brought me joy. Suddenly, that period of stability was uprooted by a move thousands of miles away to Guam, the furthest point away from Virginia that I could possibly think of. My friends and family were a 24-hour, over two-thousand-dollar plane ride away, and calls and texts had to be navigated over a 14-hour time difference.

It’s been a year and a half since that major transition, and we’re preparing for another international move this summer. While I’m nervous for the change, I’m feeling less afraid this time. I’ve found a community that makes saying goodbye and see-you-later difficult. I know that there will be a period of loneliness and anxiety, but I am hopeful for the friendships that I will build in every new place that we call home.

If you’re in the same boat, here are some ways that I’ve found success with finding friends.

Work

Maintaining your career while moving every 2-3 years is challenging, especially if you’re navigating childcare, lengthy deployments, and an industry that is location-specific. As a teacher, I am a bit constrained by state licensing requirements, but I was lucky enough to land a job at a private school during my first year.

Having the same familiar work routine was comforting, and I was lucky enough to have a cohort that included another American who was brand new to Guam. We were both engaged, about the same age, and from similar places, and we began to seek each other out for company. We currently compete in pub trivia every week, have played pickleball, have celebrated Memorial Day with a BBQ, and have celebrated a birthday together.

Outside of my full-time job, I also wanted the opportunity to work for myself and to build a career that could easily travel with me. I began to teach creative writing classes in the community, and this was a fantastic opportunity to collaborate with and meet groups and business owners with similar interests. It pushed me outside of my comfort zone and led to some meaningful coffee conversations.

Volunteering

Ever since I was in college, volunteering has been an easy way to meet new people and to build and develop a variety of skills. The only cost is my time, but the payoff of making a difference and getting to interact with like-minded people is immense.

On-base opportunities like the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society, spouses’ clubs, and the USO offer easy access for spouses who want to get more involved with their military community, and animal shelters, food pantries, environmental cleanups, and arts nonprofits are always looking for assistance off-base. If you’re missing the routine of a full-time job, volunteering can help you to maintain and develop many similar skills on your own schedule, and that flexibility can be essential in an often unpredictable life.

Facebook is Your Friend

The spouse Facebook groups in Guam have been lifesavers, helping me get my questions answered and find events to attend. I’ve seen many spouses post “friendship applications” sharing their interests and a desire to make new friends, and threads about local events have helped me find other helpful Facebook groups.

For example, someone shared a book club that has since become one of the highlights of my month. From scuba diving to running to crafting to reading, there’s been a meet-up planned for every interest, and online communities are a great way to advertise and learn about them. I recently posted about my interest in organizing reading and writing meetups at local coffee shops, and I’m so excited to meet women with similar interests.

Be Part of the Village

The saying “it takes a village” rings true in military communities, but it’s essential to be an active participant yourself. My husband’s coworkers have invited us over for BBQs and kids’ birthday parties, and we have, in turn, worked to share the love. Whether it’s baking cookies for the office, helping to cook for brunch, or inviting others to join us for a meal or local event, we’ve grown closer by showing up.

Saying yes to invitations and extending your own invitations goes further than you think towards cementing friendships. Remember, most people are also far from their friends and families, so having the chance to watch a football game or meet up at the park for a playdate or share coffee together is often a very welcome proposal.

Pursue Your Passions

In doing what you love, you’ll naturally find other people who share that interest. Whether you’re in your church’s choir, a new member of a running club, or just reading in a coffee shop, odds are there will be other people doing the exact same thing who are also hoping to make friends. It can be intimidating and scary to start a conversation with a stranger, but I always remind that the worst someone can say is “no,” and then I’m right back where I started.

If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here!

Leading With “Hart” Building a Military Spouse-Friendly Workplace

December 18, 2025 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

When my spouse joined the military nearly twenty years ago, I didn’t fully know what I was getting into. The only thing I knew was that adventure, unpredictability, and new friendships were coming my way wherever we went. I didn’t understand just how much the constant moves, deployments, TDYs, and unpredictable schedule would shape not only my personal life but also my professional life. Like many military spouses, I spent the early years just taking the first job I could get while going to college.

I soon realized I needed to find a career that could withstand PCS’ing, resume gaps, and the ever-changing demands of military life. It allowed me to contribute financially to my family, maintain a sense of purpose, and grow a career that I could take with me. Remote work became my new goal long before it was mainstream.

I became strategic about developing transferable skills, focusing on roles that valued adaptability, communication, and creativity. Those were the things I could take with me to any job in most career fields. For me, it was about finding a role that required the skills I naturally had; the industry was less important at the time. I eventually landed in project management and then honed in on an industry I’d enjoy.

Project management in brand marketing was where I needed to be.

When I first started working at Hart House Creative Studios, I was blown away by the company culture, which was already the kind that would allow military spouses to thrive. It was meant to be. The type of environment that not only gave military spouses the opportunity to work but also actively supported them, along with all its team members.

Creating a Military-Spouse-Friendly Organization

I’ve always had a passion for connecting military spouses to jobs and careers, as I am deeply ingrained in the community. So when I found this amazing organization grounded in flexibility and understanding, which are two things military families need in abundance, I knew Hart House and the military spouse talent pool needed to be brought together more.

Helping Hart House become more military-friendly was a very smooth process because our founder already had a strong belief in work-life balance and in creating space for life to happen. Work is only part of our day. To become a military-friendly organization, we committed to hiring from the military community where we could; we added more federal holidays to the company calendar to allow for more family time, implemented sick time, bereavement leave, and leave policies that accommodate the ever-changing needs of military life.

I also wanted our internal culture to reflect the community we serve. We recognize military-specific holidays, celebrate milestones like promotion ceremonies and homecomings, and understand that sometimes the biggest victories aren’t professional, they’re personal.

Hiring Within the Community

Today, we proudly employ military spouses and a few “military kids,” talented professionals who are employees or freelance team members. We also partner with organizations dedicated to military spouse employment, ensuring we’re part of a larger network committed to expanding opportunities for the military community.

Military spouses make incredible employees because we are resilient and resourceful. We have to rebuild, pivot, and find a way to move forward every few years, which is not unlike the nature of the business world. We are team players because community is essential to survival in the military world.

We are problem-solvers, multitaskers, and self-starters because we often juggle households, deployments, kids, and careers simultaneously. When you hire a military spouse, you’re not only getting a skilled professional, you’re bringing on someone who knows how to adapt, collaborate, and get the job done no matter the circumstances.

Why This Matters

Military spouses need more than just “portable” jobs. We need meaningful careers, supportive workplaces, and organizations that understand our lifestyle. My mission with Hart House Creative Studios is to continue expanding opportunities within our company and beyond it to show other businesses that hiring military spouses isn’t a risk–it is smart. It needs to be intentional and part of a remote company’s talent acquisition process.

After almost two decades of navigating this life, I firmly believe that when military spouses are given the chance to thrive professionally, the whole community benefits. We strengthen our families, support our service members, and contribute to organizations in powerful and lasting ways.

Most importantly, we show the world that the military spouse community is full of talent, creativity, dedication, and heart.

If you have a chance to help your organization become more military-friendly, do it. It just takes a few small adjustments that have a huge impact for both the employer and the employee.

If you’re a military spouse looking for remote work, be strategic about what you are looking for and the skills you have. Find a job you want and hone in on the skills they are looking for.

Lori Waddell

I am an Air Force military spouse of nearly 20 years and am currently the Studio Manager at Hart House Creative Studios. I have a strong passion for helping military spouses find a career path that aligns with their lifestyle and goals.

Settling In at Ramstein: 5 Things Every Military Spouse Should Know

December 4, 2025 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Moving to Germany can feel exciting – and overwhelming – at the same time. Whether you’re here on a short TDY/TLA stay or in the middle of a PCS waiting for permanent housing, the first days set the tone for everything that follows. Many spouses arrive asking the same questions: Where do we stay? How do we get around? How do we meet people?

Here are five insights inspired by real experiences from families who’ve already settled into the KMC.

1. Finding a Place to Stay

Your first lodging in Germany shapes your entire transition. Most families begin in TLA/TDY-friendly accommodations before moving into their long-term home. The right setup can make those first weeks feel manageable instead of chaotic.

Popular areas with short commutes include Ramstein-Miesenbach, Landstuhl, Weilerbach, Mackenbach, and Kaiserslautern.

Look for essentials that simplify your daily routine: a full kitchen, laundry, and high-speed Wi-Fi — especially if you’re juggling kids, appointments, or paperwork. Make sure to ask whether utilities like electricity, water, and heating are included in the per diem or covered under your TLA allowance, since some off-base units list these costs separately. Knowing the full daily rate up front helps avoid unexpected expenses and ensures the documentation is accepted by Finance.

Working with a company that specializes in short-term TLA/TDY stays can make this part much easier. These providers are familiar with the standards for TLA reimbursement and typically include the essentials—furnished apartments, full kitchens, laundry, utilities, and reliable internet—so families don’t have to worry about surprises during in-processing. In the KMC, options like Stay Eden (https://stay-eden.com) offer fully equipped apartments and dependable English-speaking support.

Pro tip: If there’s a chance housing might be delayed, choose a place where extending your stay is easy. It prevents the stress of moving multiple times.

2. Getting Around

Many newcomers assume Ramstein station is the main hub because it shares the name of the base, but it’s actually Landstuhl that has the better connections — a surprise for almost everyone arriving for the first time. Still, many families choose to get a car, especially with children or during the winter. In the smaller towns and villages around Ramstein, having your own car makes daily life much easier, since buses run less frequently and flexibility matters during PCS and in-processing.

On the Autobahn, some stretches have no speed limit, while others use strict speed cameras. Just keep an eye on the signs — they really do matter here.

Train connections are efficient:

Kaiserslautern → Mannheim: 40–50 minutes
(Mannheim is a big regional hub with lots of train connections, so once you’re there, it’s easy to reach other major cities.)
Kaiserslautern → Frankfurt International Airport: 1–1.5 hours

Buses supplement the rail system and can take you to the bus stops just outside the base gates.

Insider tip: Download the DB Navigator app – it shows real-time routes, schedules, and delays. And if you’re driving, many locals use a “blitzer app” to stay aware of speed cameras. Keep in mind that using them while driving is not permitted.

3. Finding Your Community

The KMC is huge, but it’s still easy to feel isolated when you first get here. Building a network makes a world of difference.

Great places to start include:

Facebook groups like “Ramstein Spouses” and “KMC Connect”
USO events, fitness classes, and local German clubs
Playgroups such as KMC Parents Support Group, MOPS KMC, or local toddler meet-ups
Youth sports through Ramstein Youth Sports, CYS, or community soccer clubs
Casual coffee meet-ups hosted by the USO or groups like KMC Coffee & Friends

Honestly, many friendships start with nothing more than a simple, ‘Are you new here too?’

4. Understanding Cultural Differences

Germany isn’t complicated – it’s just different, and most of it clicks once you’re living here.

Cash matters. Most big stores accept credit cards, but many cafés and small shops prefer cash or German debit cards.
Sundays are quiet. Nearly everything is closed, and loud household chores are discouraged.
Small talk is limited. Germans may seem direct, but it’s not meant to be rude.
Recycling is serious. Expect colored bins and weekly schedules; ask your landlord how it works.
Store hours vary. Supermarkets usually close earlier than in the U.S., often by 8–9 p.m., and small shops in rural areas may close even earlier. Most places are completely closed by 10 p.m., so late-night grocery runs aren’t really an option. Many local bakeries are only open in the mornings, especially on weekends.

Many Germans speak good English, especially in the KMC area, even if they’re modest about it at first.

Insider tip: A simple smile or “Danke” often changes the whole tone. Germans just take a moment to warm up.

5. Don’t Forget Yourself — Self-Care During a PCS

A PCS isn’t only logistics—it’s emotional work. You’re adjusting to a new country while supporting everyone else. It’s normal to feel stretched thin.

What truly helps in the KMC:

When you have a free moment, planning a small day trip can help break the PCS fog.
Burg Nanstein, Gelterswoog Lake, and Kaiserslautern’s old town are easy, low-effort options.
Try something new together.
A Saturday-morning bakery run, grabbing a real Brezel, a Christmas market in winter, or a summer wine fest with a cold “Schorle” can bring instant joy and help shift your focus from stress to curiosity.
Build gentle routines.
A daily walk, a coffee ritual, journaling, or a favorite bakery stop can anchor your day when everything feels unfamiliar.
Give yourself permission to slow down.
Jet lag, paperwork, and housing stress drain your energy. It’s okay to take things one step at a time.
Use local wellness options.
Spas and saunas are a big part of German culture—quiet, affordable, and surprisingly restorative.

Insider tip: Even a quick visit to Monte Mare Kaiserslautern — with its warm pools, saunas, and quiet relaxation rooms — can feel like hitting a mental reset on PCS stress. If you prefer something closer to base, Cubo Sauna & Wellnessmassage in Landstuhl is a calm, cozy alternative.

Conclusion

Life in the KMC becomes easier much faster than most newcomers expect. Choosing the right lodging — with the space, comfort, and essentials you need — makes those first weeks feel steadier and gives you an anchor while everything else is still new. With a car or the DB Navigator app, a solid understanding of lodging options, realistic expectations for TLA, and a few cultural insights, Ramstein quickly starts to feel familiar. Patience and a bit of local know-how make the transition not only manageable but genuinely rewarding. Germany offers small-town comfort, a strong community, and easy access to Europe — all from one of the busiest U.S. military hubs overseas.

About the Author
Laura Gerdes is a local housing expert in the KMC and supports military families in finding comfortable off-base lodging near Ramstein Air Base. Having lived in the community herself, she shares practical insights with newcomers and hosts one of the most active local Facebook groups linking landlords with U.S. renters: ‘KMC Rentals’ (https://www.facebook.com/groups/kmcrentals)

Settling In at Ramstein: 5 Things Every Military Spouse Should Know

From Orders to Opportunities

September 24, 2025 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Like many military wives, I got married at the young age of 18. At that point, my husband had already been serving in the Marine Corps for two and a half years. Even though we had known each other for about seven years, we only started dating a year before our “I do’s.”

Before my Marine came along, I was a determined student with a clear plan for my future: attend the University of South Alabama, pursue a degree in speech pathology, work with stroke patients, date someone for five years before getting married, and have kids…all close to home.

What I didn’t realize was that one simple first date with a boy from church would turn my carefully mapped-out plans upside down and lead me down a completely different path.

Six months after we got married, he received orders to PCS from Kings Bay, Georgia, to Twentynine Palms, California. Suddenly, college applications and scholarship essays were no longer my concern. I was learning how to be a newlywed, supporting a husband preparing for his first deployment, and adjusting to life as a 19-year-old southern girl in the California desert.

I quickly learned that military life brings its own challenges, such as making friends at a new duty station, attending Family Readiness meetings, and deciphering the endless stream of acronyms, which became my new “curriculum.”

Still, that determined mindset never truly faded. I knew the military lifestyle could open doors, but in a place like Twentynine Palms, opportunities were dry (pun intended). Jobs were limited, especially without a degree and with limited experience.

Just before my husband’s second deployment, I began volunteering at the local Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society. The director saw potential in me and offered me the role of Communications Lead. Suddenly, I was running the organization’s Facebook page, leading informational events, and speaking at briefs for incoming and deploying Marines and Sailors.

It was there that I discovered a new love: communications. I began to realize that military life, while unpredictable, had given me an unexpected launchpad for growth.

Eventually, we PCS’d back across the country, only to be greeted by a national pandemic. Once again, I found myself at a new base with limited job opportunities and another deployment looming. This season is when I adopted a mindset I carry to this day: “An excuse and an opportunity are always present. Whichever one you look for is the one that will present itself.”

With encouragement from my husband, friends, and family, I finally began my college education. Balancing coursework with a two-year-old at home and a deployed husband wasn’t easy, but my classes quickly rekindled my drive.

What started as a goal to complete my associate degree grew into a bachelor’s program. Today, I’m pursuing a Master’s in Human Resource Management. I will spare you the details of that career merge.

Looking back, I realize that every challenge, PCS, and deployment wasn’t just an obstacle; it was an opportunity, a lesson I want to share. As military spouses, our lives don’t have to be on hold just because of the demands of military life. These unique circumstances can become a springboard for discovering passions, building resumes, and growing in ways we might never have anticipated.

The first step in turning orders into opportunities is finding your niche and discovering what inspires you. Whether it’s volunteering, joining a spouses’ club, or exploring new hobbies, these experiences can uncover talents and interests you didn’t know you had. Growth doesn’t always happen in a classroom.

You can dive into books, take free online courses, or practice new skills at home. Every opportunity, paid or volunteer, is a step toward building your experience, confidence, and future career. For me, stepping into the Communications Lead role at NMCRS revealed strengths I hadn’t recognized before.

Community is a powerful part of our journey. Surround yourself with supportive people who can encourage you, celebrate your wins, and help you discover your passions.

As a Christian, I truly believe what feels like uprooting is actually planting according to God’s plan. Every PCS, deployment, and unexpected change has the potential to help you grow, learn, and prepare for what lies ahead. Your life as a military spouse doesn’t have to be paused while supporting your spouse’s career.

Even if traditional opportunities feel out of reach, you can still discover ways to use your gifts, develop skills, and make an impact in your community.

I challenge you today to take the first step. You don’t have to sign up for the next class at the community college, but look for the opportunity rather than the excuse. Plant seeds in your life and watch them grow into new skills, confidence, and a life you love that follows wherever military life takes you.

P.S. If you’re considering going back to school or exploring new career opportunities, don’t forget to look into scholarships and programs specifically for military spouses. Organizations like the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and other branch-specific foundations offer scholarships, financial support, and resources to help you pursue your education and professional goals.

Author: Brittany Weston

Brittany is a Marine Corps wife of nearly 10 years, living in North Carolina with her husband and daughter. She believes that every deployment, every duty station, and every single day is about perspective. Making the most of every season, she holds to Ezra 10:4: “Rise up; this matter is in your hands. So, take courage and do it.”