Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

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3 Ways Military Spouses Can Jump Start Their Careers Right Now

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Hiring Our Heroes

In 2010, when I married my airman on a random weekend with a hastily made supermarket bouquet in a Texas courthouse, I had not even heard the words “military spouse employment programs.” 

In fact, I wasn’t even sure why I would need a military spouse employment program. I wasn’t aware of what I was about to encounter when my new life and my career path collided. But collide they did – and I soon found myself no longer evaluating career opportunities on merit, my skillset, or what sounded like fun. 

I was evaluating every employment opportunity on the question, “Can I make this job work?”

Looking back, that makes my heart hurt a little. 

I know so many spouses that have done the same soul-searching when forcing jobs to fit. I was fortunate to eventually find a rewarding career after many challenging decisions and a double dose of hard work. 

Twelve years later, I see not limitations, but possibilities for military spouses seeking meaningful career opportunities. Military spouses, I am here to tell you that the time is now to jump-start your professional career. 

Are you ready? Here are 3 ways to do it.

Take Advantage of Returnship and Internship Programs for Military Spouses
Returnships are designed for those returning to work. As I look at employer trends in the latter half of the year, I see many companies committing to returnships and internships for professionals and new grads who put their careers on hold in 2020. These programs provide a professional boost to anyone who took some time off from work and has a gap on their resume, or to those who are looking to pivot into a new industry.

You can visit an employer’s career webpage to see if they have this type of program available. If you search their site and can’t find anything specific to returnships, try connecting with a recruiter for that organization on LinkedIn and asking about return-to-work options. 

Internships and fellowships can also be used to jump back in, but there’s usually also a component of new work experience with these programs. For this reason, fellowships are perfect for career-pivoters. Career-pivoters are new to their field. They are also those who want to explore the ins and outs of life at a particular company before accepting a full-time job offer. 

To find internship programs, check with your educational institution. Or if you live in one of eight service locations, apply for the Military Spouse Fellowship Program at Hiring Our Heroes. This unique program is a paid, six-week experience on the job with one of the program’s host companies. In 2021, this experience led to a full-time job offer for 92% of participants. 

Use the New Remote Work Landscape to Upskill and Reskill into Portable Career 

There is an explosion of remote and hybrid work opportunities now, rendering your next PCS a small inconvenience instead of a career-stopper. 

The demand for remote workers is especially high in the tech space. These jobs are very competitive, so to have a leg up, consider adding some new skills to your repertoire. Thankfully, as military spouses, we have access to a variety of educational benefits and support organizations to do this at no cost. 

If you are eyeing jobs in fields like UX/UI design, project management, IT support, digital marketing, or data analytics, you may want to check out the Career Forward program at Hiring Our Heroes. This learner-to-earner program can take you from career dreams to job offers with the help of our staff. 

If you love data management or have already begun to learn about careers in the rapidly growing customer relationship management (CRM) software industry, take a look at the Hiring Our Heroes’ Salesforce Fellowship Program. 

Military spouses are eligible for free training to learn Salesforce through Salesforce Military. After earning the Salesforce administrator certification, you can receive hands-on work experience using your new Salesforce skills with a fellowship at one of 55 host companies located nationwide. The program currently has a 95% job offer rate.

Leverage Your Network

One glaringly obvious issue that has always made military spouse career progression difficult is the lack of professional connections when we arrive to a new area and the inability to maintain a network as we move around. 

The importance of networking is not waning and, with digital tools and groups, professional networking is easier than ever. 

Invest time in LinkedIn – it’s not just about your profile! Once you have most of your profile filled out, connect with people who work at companies you are interested in, who are experienced in your industry, or who have a common interest with you. Take a few minutes each day to comment on their posts and post your own job search updates to your network. 

While you’re leveraging your network, lean on your fellow military spouses. 

The Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network has a presence virtually and at 55 locations around the world. MSPN provides online career development resources and virtual networking platforms to help military spouses build their professional network before they arrive at a new military installation. 

In case you haven’t heard it lately, your professional goals are important. You have so much to offer the business community as a talented, adaptable, and knowledgeable military spouse. There’s never been a better time to demonstrate your value as an employee. I hope you’ll take the first step toward achieving professional success according to your own definition. 

And if you need additional support, there’s much more to discover at Hiring Our Heroes including webinars, virtual hiring fairs, Amplify career intensives, and Career Connectors to help you navigate it all. 

Good luck – you’ve got this!

Danielle Lankford is the San Antonio & Dallas/Fort Worth Program Manager for the Military Spouse Fellowship Program at Hiring Our Heroes. Hiring Our Heroes is an initiative of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation. You can connect with Danielle on LinkedIn. 

My Experience as a Hispanic Military Spouse

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My Experience as a Hispanic Military Spouse

How I Learned English and Thrived

La Isla del Encanto. Have you heard of that place? It is a small island in the Caribbean. Puerto Rico is a paradise with captivating beauty and culture. The home where I spent the first 19 years of my life. During my teenage years, I often told my parents that I was never leaving my home, my community, or my country. Learning English at school was a struggle, and I was not interested in making an effort. I thought it was pointless. Ironically, after high school graduation, my boyfriend joined the U.S. Air Force; and you can probably guess what happened after that. I left my family, my home, and my country. 

Not even in my wildest dreams would I have thought of living on the other side of the world. But, you guess again, my new home was not in the United States but in Japan. Have you watched Men in Black II? In the final scene, Agent K calls Agent J a rookie and kicks a door open. Agent J is shocked to find out that the world as he knows it is just a part of something bigger. That is how I felt when I arrived in Okinawa, my husband’s first duty station. 

Soon enough, I regretted my past lack of effort in learning English. Speaking with others was not only challenging but nerve-wracking. It is accurate to say it was impossible. Keeping up with the speed at which people spoke was difficult. It did not help that I would try to translate everything from English to Spanish in my mind. I could not understand a word or form a sentence, for that matter. I was frustrated and lacked confidence. So what did I do? 

I enrolled in an online university to continue my education. My first class was English. This time, I was determined to learn; and I did, but it was challenging every day. I know completing my school work took longer just because of the language barrier. Countless tears, sleepless nights, and six years later, I earned my B.A. in Psychology from Penn State University. During those six years, I moved three times and had two children. It has been ten years since I became a military spouse, and I have learned many lessons. 

From mistakes I made to things I would do differently, this is my advice: 

● Prioritize wellness. Seek professional support sooner than later. 

● Choose approach over avoidance. 

● Do not isolate yourself. 

● Take your time but do it. 

● Everything takes practice. Take the first step. 

● Find resources! There are many now. 

● Ask for help; there are kind and caring people out there. 

● Get social and take advantage of social media platforms. 

● Stay connected to family and friends. It is still possible when you are far.

● Keep a balance.

● Do not compare yourself to others; follow your path.

● Believe in yourself. 

I wish you the best in this challenging and incredible journey!

Here are more resources that I have found useful:

Written by guest writer, Lourdes Gonzalez!

Why All Military Spouses Should Join the Military Spouse Advocacy Network (MSAN)

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Why All Military Spouses Should Join the Military Spouse Advocacy Network

I’ve been a military spouse for a little over a year now. Prior to becoming a milspouse, my husband and I dated long distance for years. This was great “training” for what life would be like together- but apart. I always joined the local FRG to access information, discover local meet-ups, and meet new people. I WISH I had known about the support offered by MSAN.

Flash forward to this year I decided upon a career change for many reasons, one of which was the uncertainties in life that come with being a milspouse. I discovered MSAN through LinkedIn and am taken back by the network of support that is offered. MSAN has connected me with so many other spouses who have pointed me in the right direction on the path to a new career. It is incredible how many phone calls, messages, and job postings have been shared with me through other members of MSAN.

I became a mentor with MSAN this past June. I am grateful to have the opportunity to give back to other spouses, the way many spouses have done for me. As a mentor, I help others navigate the ins and outs of TRICARE, DEERS, and other military-related services. MSAN mentors also offer a listening ear, for we are all in this together. One of my favorite parts of being a mentor at MSAN is my responsibility to post a new recipe every “Tasty Thursday” on our Mentorship HUB. Curious about MSAN? Shoot me a message! I would love to connect you with our resources. 

Nina Dahl is a Plant mom and pizza enthusiast on the search for the best slice in Florida. Loves her new job, her family, and going to the beach. Energized by CrossFit, helping others, and romance novels. You can contact Nina at ndahl@milspouseadvocacynetwork.org or find her on LinkedIn.

9 Lessons Learned On Our Military Retirement Journey

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9 Lessons Learned On Our Military Retirement Journey

By Melonie Kennedy

This is it. We’re handing in the keys to our on-post housing in a few days, then my husband will begin terminal leave. After sixteen years of marriage, seven duty stations, several deployments, and so many TDY’s I can’t even remember them all, it’s over. He’s out. The End.

Retirement is a huge transition for him, of course, after twenty years in the Army. I didn’t expect, however, what a big jump this would mean for me. This is a scary new beginning, perhaps the scariest of them all. I’ve tried to avoid wool-gathering and prepare just like any other PCS. As ready as I am to get into this next chapter, though, I’m also not feeling ready. It’s not just another PCS. There’s so much up in the air, and that leads me to lesson one: 

Remember military retirement is a major life change! As accustomed as we are to moving frequently and reestablishing a home base every few years, this time there’s a big difference. We’re in a new division of the military community: The Retirees. Our mission now as a family is to figure out what comes next and create a new battle rhythm that may be like nothing we’ve ever experienced before. 

Additionally, as with normal PCSs, there may be a grieving process, especially if you’re moving from your final duty station as part of the retirement process. We’re saying goodbye to friends, getting those last tourist bucket list things marked off, taking steps to find a job, and shepherding a teen through the same changes all while getting him ready for college. As exciting as this new adventure is, it’s full of questions. That takes me to lesson two:

Communication is key – and not just with the various agencies your service member is dealing with on the military side! It’s okay to say you’re not okay. Consider scheduling in downtime for yourself and as a couple. We, military spouses, are incredibly resilient people, but resilience is built up when we have purposely created a buffer zone. Whether it’s a facial or a coffee date, sometimes talking to a therapist via Telehealth or simply curling up with a book for an hour – account for the fact that this is a huge transition period that automatically comes with stress, and account for the fact that mindfulness during the transition is vital. Having grown up an Army brat, then spending this long as a military wife, I kind of don’t know where I stand anymore, and I’ve had to observe and unpack those feelings. This takes us to lesson three: 

You’re not alone. It may feel like it some days, just like it may have at times in your spouse’s military career. They, and you, are not cast aside and left to drift and figure this out on your own! From the moment retirement appears on the horizon, start finding your support folks; as Mr. Rogers advised, “Look for the helpers.”

I was pleasantly surprised to learn how many resources there are out there for transitioning families. Get in touch with the folks at your branch’s Transition Assistance Program (TAP) office early. We spouses are invited to attend as well because TAP isn’t just about military paperwork. The TAP office my husband worked with offered links to resumé workshops, seminars on VA home loans, and much more. Going through TAP early leaves you time to go back through if you’d like to dig deeper and ask the TAP reps questions on a second go-round.

Another great option is the USO, which sponsors a wide variety of in-person and virtual seminars. They cover more topics than I can even list here, and the schedules accommodate for locations worldwide. There are also the Veterans Service Organization (VSO) representatives, who are individuals accredited by the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to help ensure service members have access to qualified representation during the VA claim process. The Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) and several other organizations have accredited VSOs available; a full list of VA-recognized VSOs is available via the Veterans Affairs website.

Lastly, don’t forget to start making connections within military retiree organizations and civic groups within your community, especially if you are moving with children. They will gain assistance putting down new roots through community options just like they’ve done every move, and now those roots can include a nice taproot into their home turf!

As you may have noticed, the more lead time you have before retirement, the better. We made the decision for my husband to submit his retirement request about eighteen months out from his projected departure date, which left time to get things rolling on several fronts. That takes us into lessons four through seven, which have a big point in common: make use of any waiting period you have until retirement!

Get your house in order, especially your finances. If you’re not already debt-free, try to get there. This will help you get a solid footing when the service member’s pay changes from their active duty rate to their retirement pension. This foundation also provides an assist with the timing of the first retirement check, any VA benefits the military retiree is awarded, and the arrival of paychecks if they will be employed after their military time ends. If there’s a lag time on funds, you’re still good to go if you aren’t living paycheck to paycheck at this stage.

Save, save, save! As with any other PCS, there will be costs affiliated with your move. If you own a home away from your final duty station, you’ve got to get there. While certain costs will be reimbursed after a move, you may be in a situation where you’re receiving BAH during terminal leave, so hotel stays will be accounted differently. Then of course there are the usual things that feel like they nickel and dime us to death every move: getting groceries again, the random little things that are needed in a new home, meals on the road, and so forth. Even if you are already living in your forever home, with all these changes, costs will come up. Having as much put away for a rainy day as possible is always to your benefit.

Speaking of financial matters: while you’re anxiously awaiting The Big Day, make the most of your time and get life insurance before the service member gets their VA physical. In some cases, automatically switching from Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) to Veterans Group Life Insurance (VGLI) may not actually be your most cost-effective plan. The same applies for spouses and other dependents currently insured through Family Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance.

While sticking with the known entity with no medical questions or exclusions may be tempting, if you’re in fairly good health, it is well worth your time to sit down with a few companies and get some quotes for coverage. My husband contacted three companies for quotes and we were able to compare all coverage, terms, and costs over a weekend and choose the one that was the best fit for us. (Why do this before the VA physical? Findings documented by the VA may affect rates and coverage availability.)

On our last point about time and money: encourage your service member to use this time to use Credentialing Assistance and Tuition Assistance if at all possible. Don’t leave money on the table! They can earn certifications to build their resumé and build their employability, or work toward a college degree without using their GI Bill on active duty. There are also many free and low-cost certification and schooling options available for military spouses to take advantage of; you’ll learn about some of them through the TAP sessions and the USO’s offerings, but another great place to find helpful organizations and programs is LinkedIn.

That takes us to lesson eight, one that was a real shocker for me: LinkedIn is your friend, milspouses! I’ve personally had a LinkedIn account for over a decade and really didn’t get much use out of it. Like many people, I thought LinkedIn was “social media for suits”. Since getting more active on the platform in early 2021, I’ve had my eyes opened to the many possibilities LinkedIn offers, particularly for those of us with military affiliations.

There is a wealth of opportunities for networking with other folks in our community; start with #militaryspouse, then look for groups specific to spouses or to your area of employment interest. There are also job listings, information about hiring fairs (on and off base and virtual), and ways to find franchise opportunities specifically for veterans. Add in the fact that we spouses can receive a year of LinkedIn Premium for free through Military OneSource’s Spouse Education & Career Opportunities (MySECO), and you’ve got another great reason to sign up or really start using your LinkedIn account to its full potential. The Premium version allows access to LinkedIn Learning and a variety of other professional tools that users may find helpful in networking and job hunts.

My two cents, with no affiliation to the company on my part: LinkedIn is worth it for you and your retiree-to-be, whether you’re looking for work post-military or want to be able to mentor and guide others following in your footsteps. It’s actually the way I connected with Julie, our wonderful hostess here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life, and can share these thoughts with you about our retirement journey!

And now we’re at lesson nine: Have the Ceremony.

My soldier is not big on pomp and circumstance. I’m an introvert, quite content that the bulk of my “peopling” is done via email thanks to working from home for two decades. There was to be no retirement ceremony. We were simply going to load the U-Haul and quietly ride off into the sunset.

My husband’s commander saw things differently and put his foot down. You don’t give twenty years of your life to the military and just slip away; you deserve recognition and closure. There had to be some sort of ceremony. 

We huffed and puffed and gave in on the matter, setting up a fairly intimate shindig at a favorite restaurant. We added in a presentation of a military “brat” coin and a certificate of appreciation for our son. Some family members were able to make it, as well as a large group from the unit, and some good friends we’ve bumped into at multiple duty stations. As luck would have it, we had soldiers there from the beginning of my spouse’s active time, the middle, and the end.

There were stories told, plenty of laughs, and more tears than expected. We introduced our non-military family members to a side of my husband that they hadn’t seen during visits and the usual tours of housing and the Exchange; it gave his friends a chance to celebrate with him; it gave us a chance to recognize the resilience of our son, who like me, has been a dandelion child floating around the world at the behest of Uncle Sam. 

Barbecue and cake were served, and in the end, we were incredibly grateful to the leader who called for the touching sendoff. So no matter how large or how small you make it, please schedule in a time to celebrate your service member, yourself, and all involved in getting you to this point. You’ve made it. Happy military retirement – here’s to your next adventure!

Melonie Kennedy is a military wife, homeschooling mom, author, and small business owner. Connect with her at https://www.linkedin.com/in/meloniek/

4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

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4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

“Everything is weird” was my initial gut reaction after moving home to the United States not quite two months ago. I am sure it was also my reaction three plus years ago when first arriving on Okinawa—the little subtropical island which is home to 13 U.S. military bases.

I essentially have no regrets about my time as an honorary island girl, but if I ever got the chance to PCS back to Okinawa again, there are few things I would do differently, or at least do more of.

When your time on Okinawa or in Japan wraps up, there are sure to be bucket list items you didn’t get to. For example, my husband and I always said we wanted to tour the Naval Underground area from WWII, and, well…nope, we never did do that. But that’s not the kind of “do more” that I mean.

Absolutely make your list of things you want to see and do and try to check them off, but when I say “do more,” I mean knock out the big stuff. If it’s your first time on the island, here are my take-aways as someone who has “been there, done that.”

Before moving to Okinawa, I was sure a car would not be necessary. I had traveled to Tokyo and figured it would be very similar. And, of course, I was wrong! There are public buses on Okinawa, plenty of taxis, and a monorail in the Naha area, but the majority of folks find a car the easiest way to get around. 

So, buy an island car and don’t be afraid to drive it. Yes, the steering wheel is on the opposite side of the car. Yes, you’ll hit the windshield wipers when you meant to use your turn signal (also known as “the Okinawa wave”), and yes, you’ll probably drive down the wrong side of the road at least once, but let’s hope not more than twice! Remember, you’ll also be giving yourself the opportunity to get out of the house more and have a lot of adventures.

Learn Japanese. You’ll pick up the very basics even without trying very hard, but three years is a relatively short time to learn a new language. I’m almost embarrassed by how little I learned. Give it some effort and see how far your learning can take you. Knowing just a little extra vocabulary and a few common phrases will enrich your experiences when you are out and about.

Meet more people. Isn’t this great advice no matter where your duty station is located? However, when you are living overseas, it is really important to avoid isolating yourself. It will be harder to get home to see family and friends, and it might even be difficult to communicate with them while living in a different time zone. Surround yourself with people who can keep your island days nice and bright, just as they should be.

And lastly, worry less. An OCONUS PCS is a huge deal, often more difficult than other PCS moves you may have been through. Do whatever you need to do in order to worry less about what’s going to happen and what it’s going to be like on Okinawa, or in Japan (or wherever else your service member’s career may take you). It’s not worth it to be concerned about all the “What if?” scenarios. You’ll wind up missing out on all the, “Wow, isn’t that amazing!” moments.

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post by Angie Andrews

All The Basics You Need to Know about Aberdeen Proving Ground, Maryland

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Aberdeen Proving Ground is an excellent place to be stationed. Take a sigh of relief if this is where your orders are for. Northeast Maryland is a good, safe, convenient place to live.

Was it my favorite of all the places? 

No. It was not, but this was our COVID station. We arrived in 2019, just before the pandemic, and we are leaving as restrictions are ending. All our time here was colored by the whole pandemic, four kids in the virtual school experience. It was hard. I’m sure many of you can relate.

We have been an Army family for twenty whole years now, though, so I do have plenty to compare it to. So long as you do not live in the area immediately outside the base gates, APG is a stellar duty station.

Aberdeen Proving Ground has everything you need. 

The Basic FAQS:

-This is a small U.S. Army installation.

-The base does have a Commissary, Aafes Exchange, and Shoppette.

-There is also a satellite campus of APG called Edgewood.

-Children living on base are districted for Harford County Public schools. More on that in a minute.

-Tons of people choose to live off post, in Bel Air or Havre de Grace, to take advantage of the more highly rated schools. That’s what we did.

-If you move too far away from post though you might find yourself missing your military community. We missed them!

-A nice happy medium of good schools but still being close to base and other military families might be settling down in the Abingdon, Havre de Grace, or South Bel Air area. 

-There is a TON to see and do around APG. More about that later.

Let’s talk about the schools. 

For us, the school district is always the deciding factor on where we choose to live because we have school-aged children. When we were younger, and it was not a factor, we did enjoy living on post or anywhere that felt nice.

Living on post is convenient, so first, you want to know a little about where APG kids go to school:

-Roye-Williams Elementary school

The schools serving post are not local favorites. For military kids, Roye-Williams is probably similar to many other schools they have been to. That said, I do not want to say bad things about a school we have not even set foot in. I have known at least two fantastic teachers who worked there, so I can assure you it is not all bad. 

Don’t take Great School’s word for it. Ask other military spouses currently stationed there in the Aberdeen Facebook group. 

-Aberdeen Middle School

–Aberdeen High School

We are so fortunate now that we live in a time where we can go online to a Facebook group and ask other current military spouses about their experiences with the community and the schools. In my younger years, we did not have this advantage.

Aberdeen Proving Ground

Housing

Housing on post is nice and not too hard to obtain if you are okay with the school district. 

We turned down a house in the Edgewood location of post because of the long history of toxic testing on the Edgewood campus. Large areas of Edgewood are considered contaminated and are abandoned. There are whole ghost neighborhoods. 

Knowing that, take a drive around to decide what you are comfortable with before you sign for an Edgewood house.

Some of the houses on base do offer a beautiful view of the water. 

We knew we would be in the area for at least three years, so we did buy a house in nearby Bel Air. That was our choice to take advantage of the highly rated schools that Bel Air has. There are always pros and cons to that, but the biggest con here was the whole covid pandemic.

Healthcare

Kirk Army Health Clinic will probably be your assigned clinic for the whole family. 

Kirk is on APG proper, and according to Tricare, it is the only clinic Tricare Prime insurance holders are allowed to sign up with. That is what Tricare told me when I called to ask about switching to a civilian PCM off post.

The doctors and staff at the clinic are competent, kind, and courteous. Sometimes it is hard to be seen, and sometimes it isn’t. We frequently use the local urgent care when we need a strep test or such.

Here is my only problem with Kirk. Kirk Army Clinic has an odd referral policy. 

This is the only military health clinic I have had this exact problem with, but they often write bad referrals.

The clinic has a policy that you cannot pick your referral provider. They want it to be random, so unless you have a doctor that day who helps you out, you almost always have to re-do your referral with Tricare later.

This clinic wrote me referrals to specialists who are retired a couple of times. Another time, they referred my seven-year-old to an ENT doctor who did not see children. Often, they send us way out of town to Baltimore when there are plenty of local doctors who accept Tricare and would have seen us. 

This broken referral process caused me a lot of frustration. 

For each one, I would have to find the Tricare number, call them, wait through the long call prompters, and then get the Tricare operator to switch us to local, still working physicians. 

That is why I switched healthcare plans for myself.

Johns Hopkins has a Prime Tricare plan you can switch to. It is still free, still a Prime plan, so you still have to do the referral dance. However, if you switch, you get a Johns Hopkins Waters Edge PCM, and the referral process happens far more smoothly. 

I finish my appointment, then I go out in the hall to see the referral secretaries. They say, “Who would you like to see? Where would you like to go for your specialist?”

Wow. Isn’t that nice?

Granted, I still do not know, but I can make sure they send me somewhere local to someone who has not retired, rather than finding out two weeks later I am being sent an hour away.

That is my recommendation. I did not switch the kids over, but they do not often go to the doctor, so it has not been a huge problem.

Besides, like most military families, we live our life saying, “Well, it’s only for a few more months.”

Isn’t it sad but funny how much we put up with because we know we won’t have to deal with it for long?

Weather

Northerners think it’s warm here, and southerners think it is freezing. I will say it is cool or cold eight months out of the year. Snow is mild, but it does happen. 

It is extremely humid. If you have a basement, make sure you put a dehumidifier down there, or you will have a serious mold problem.

Fun Things to Do

Like most military families, we are always on the lookout for new places to explore. That is our favorite perk about being such nomads. 

In Northeast Maryland, you are right on the Chesapeake Bay. During Covid, all pools were closed, so we went to a state park and rented a pontoon boat. It was wonderful.

Now that the pandemic is over, APG’s pools are open again. They do have awesome pools for families. We used them even though we lived twenty minutes away because the pool is free for active-duty families.

You are an hour or less from Pennsylvania and Delaware. Plus, Washington, D.C. is only one and a half to two hours’ drive down I-95. 

Amish country around Lancaster, Pennsylvania is a treasure trove of things to do and see. It is only an hour from Harford County. We drove up there regularly and enjoyed seeing the sights.

There is a Megabus in White Marsh that will take you up to New York City, which is only a few hours away. We have thoroughly enjoyed exploring these surrounding areas. 

Make sure you plan some fun day or overnight trips to take advantage of living so close to so many historic and fun places. 

Beautiful countryside near Lancaster 

Overall, an APG assignment is a win.

All of life has returned to normal now. Social events, kids’ sports, and regular school are all back. Like most places, life is starting to feel less pandemic-level-stressful. 

You have everything you need here in the Aberdeen area, and there are so many places to explore nearby. I hope you thoroughly enjoy your time at Aberdeen Proving Ground.

Feel free to ask me any questions you have in the comments here. I would also love to have you visit me where I blog at www.gettingmyacttogether.com. 

How to Support a Reserve Spouse During a Deployment

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How to Support a Reserve Spouse During a Deployment

My name is Corrie Andreacchio, and I am a proud US Army Reserve spouse. My husband, SFC Joseph Andreacchio has served for over 18 years and is a two-time combat veteran with service in support of both Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom.

As a reserve spouse, we often do not have access to on-post resources and ease of access to connect in person with other military spouses, especially those from our spouse’s unit during a time of separation. During my husband’s 2013-2014 deployment to Afghanistan, many of the soldiers were from areas that spanned as many as 600 miles from the reserve center in Reading, PA.

In the first 30 days of that separation, it was hard. I found myself scouring the Facebook posts and FRG (now SFRG) community page to find potential matches for friendship. I was fortunate to cross paths with two incredible women – Erin and Nicole. We forged a friendship that was 100% virtual. We texted, we joined each other for virtual wine nights, and we set GOALS. Goals to hold each other accountable – and when we fell short, we leaned into each other and shared tears, virtual hugs (Nicole is NOT a hugger so this worked out to her benefit), and the permission to make it a “take-out” night for dinner.

Since our husbands deployed together in 2013-2014, we have all faced at least one more deployment off-cycle from one another. This was a new hardship because there is nothing like the camaraderie of going through a deployment alongside other spouses’ at the same time. However, we were able to lean into these ideas and support each other in spite of not having the common experience.

I was lucky. This is not always the case. Many of our reserve spouses are isolated. Isolated from their military community and isolated in their local community where there is not a common understanding of the sacrifice a deployment can take on the military family.

How can we support our reserve spouses during times of separation? Be there. Call. Text. When you do not know what to say, simply ask how they are doing.

Here are some ideas to guide your support of our reserve and national guard spouses when they are not able to join and/or attend more formal spouses’ clubs or SFRG functions due to location.

1)      Flat Stanley meets Green Soldier. Go to a party store (or lean on Amazon) and send green soldiers to your circle. Family, friends, and co-workers can all get involved. Create a Facebook group where you encourage everyone to post photos with their soldiers and the adventures that they are having at home while the service member is deployed. This is a great way to capture the memories for the service member upon their return and an awesome way for non-military connected support persons to participate.

2)      Drinks and Links. You can mail your reserve spouse cut pieces of construction paper and join them on a Facetime or Zoom to create a deployment countdown calendar while enjoying your Coffee, Wine, or Mocktail. Have one in your home in addition to theirs and celebrate the removal of each link. I would suggest a deployment countdown of either weeks or months, but Nicole plans to have a caterpillar of a daily countdown in her home. Godspeed, Nicole!

(OPSEC is critical, Do not share your exact countdown information).

3)      Monthly Celebration. Did your reserve or national guard’s spouse leave on the 20th of the month? Make it a point to connect with your friend on that day. Send a greeting card, FaceTime, and have a dance party. We highly recommend Katy Perry’s ROAR.

4)      Start or rediscover a Hobby. DIY home décor, gardening, knitting, scrapbooking. Pick a hobby that you can both do together. When our husbands were deployed in 2013-2014 Erin, Nicole, and I picked up working out. We all achieved significant goals and ended the deployments working out consistently two times a day, most days. We were stronger together and sweating for that homecoming

5)      Snail mail. There is nothing more fun than receiving happy mail. However, happy mail is really rare these days. My friend, Rebekah, who I met through a military spouse non-profit as volunteers, reminded me of the power of snail mail during my husband’s 2020 unaccompanied CONUS mobilization. She was so good about sending me greeting cards, letters, stickers for my daughter, and some surprise Amazon goodies that completely turned my day around. Somehow, most likely because of her husband’s career service as an EOD with the Air Force these snail mail happy mail packages always arrived on a day I really needed them. These do not have to be elaborate. Hand write a letter, and create a masterpiece with crayons and construction paper. Being thought of is what it is all about during a time of separation.

Erin, Nicole, and I have a lasting bond built on common experiences and the ability to make time for each other during our spouse’s deployment. Soon we will be celebrating TEN YEARS of friendship simply as a result of our husband’s jobs. It is truly an extraordinary thing to know that your spouse’s job can open a door to incredible friendships for reserve spouses if you’re able to find out how to connect with them. 

Military No Stress PCS

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Military No Stress PCS

When my husband was commissioned into the Navy 19 years ago, I really had no idea what it would look like. My family had limited military roots and nowhere near the extent of what we were about to embark on. I also was a young 20-something with just a year and a half of college under my belt- not a lot of worldly experience to speak of.

If I’m being honest, most of our early days in the military are now a bit of a blur. We had our first two children during that time and there was a lot of moving back home during deployments which, when you add those things together, equal brain fog. A lot of brain fog.

Children will do that to you on a regular basis. Couple that with the fact that you didn’t always remember what time zone you were in let alone which one your deployed spouse was in will most likely lead to you remembering that time with just bits and pieces of those memories. 

Look familiar? Just one batch of empty moving boxes and paper from our latest PCS move.  

With the support of our families, I moved back home during months-long deployments, which meant I didn’t have a lot of access to military-related resources at a base. While I may not have needed them at the time, looking back, I think about how different my life could have been. Our past few homes have had a large community military presence.

It was only this past fall that I became aware of an organization called Military No Stress PCS. A friend of mine saw they were looking for a military spouse to be the new program coordinator and she thought of me. After a lengthy conversation with MNSPCS founder Rob, I was the newest member of the Military No Stress PCS team. They were truly putting their money where their mouth was in terms of saying they support the military and actually supporting the military.

This program is presently in its infancy, but had it been something that existed when I was a new military spouse, it could have been a very valuable resource. We have PCS’d 8 times in 19 years and I could call myself an old hat when it comes to moving. If I had the opportunity to use this type of help when it comes to finding the answers I needed, you can bet I would use it.  

What is Military No Stress PCS?

 

Military No Stress PCS wants to help active-duty military families. 

• The idea of this program came from a civilian, in the real estate business in Florida, who met a military couple moving back to the States and were looking to purchase a house. During the real estate process, they became friends, and then, through this friendship, the civilian began to wonder about how he could help other military families. From this genuine desire to help military families, Military No Stress PCS was born.  

• At Military No Stress PCS, the commitment goes beyond the actual move and fosters a network of support and fellowship for our military community. Alongside active-duty members and spouses, we are supported by veterans and civilian volunteers,  representing all branches of our military family. It is all about giving back to the military community. 

• The Military No Stress PCS reach expanded to 87 CONUS locations and 12 OCONUS  locations in 2021. 

• Military No Stress PCS is funded by grants and donations and offers a personal concierge service completely free of charge. 

• Military No Stress PCS concierge service basics: they tell us what they’re looking for; whether that’s information on homes, neighborhoods, schools, commute times,  community involvement, local services, etc., and then we do the research and give them our highest recommendations.  

• Since beginning the concierge service last fall, Military No Stress PCS has had upwards of 75 inquiries on a variety of topics, such as housing, pediatricians, overseas orthodontists, school-aged care, and how to find local jobs.  

• Military No Stress PCS simply wants to support those who serve and their families by offering resources at no cost to them. For housing (rentals or buyers), we have real estate agents who are often military spouses themselves and/or are certified Military Relocation Professionals.  

• Military No Stress PCS also employs military spouses and retired military to ensure the recommendations are authentic and come from experienced professionals.  

• MNSPCS hopes to bring military families as many answers as possible for their PCS  questions (including questions they might have even after they’ve settled) and to reach beyond those resources to allow military families to find the same community aspects when moving from location to location, saving families the time and energy revisiting the search with each move. 

The information is out there in a thousand different locations. It can often be found by knowing the right places to search and the right keywords to type in. Sometimes, though, I am just plain tired of searching and that’s where Military No Stress PCS would come in.

There will be stress (that is a given) and there will be things that simply have to play out before the stress will be gone or even be merely reduced. These are just facts about military life. I have often found military spouses (myself included!) to be stubborn and strong and accepting help is not usually in our nature. After I had my twin boys, however, I realized how much help I needed and that some people genuinely want to help and the mission behind Military No Stress PCS is exactly that.  

This military life has brought my family so many opportunities, including a tour overseas. Let MNSPCS help reduce your PCS stress so you can enjoy your opportunities.