Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

The History and Heart of Memorial Day

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The History and Heart of Memorial Day

While Memorial Day can signify the beginning of the summer season, we know, as a military community, how much that day matters. Memorial Day honors and remembers those who have died while serving in the military. The holiday, always on the last Monday in May, was initially called Decoration Day.

The History of Memorial Day

On May 5, 1868, General John A. Logan, leader of the Grand Army of the Republic (a Union veterans organization), issued an official proclamation designating May 30th as a day of remembrance for those who died in the Civil War. Called “Decoration Day,” this day honored Union soldiers who had died in the American Civil War.

During that first celebration, the former General and sitting Ohio congressman James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Cemetery. After the speech, 5,000 people helped decorate the graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers. The first US state to designate Memorial Day as a legal holiday was New York in 1873.

After World War I, Memorial Day became a day to honor all who had died in America’s wars. Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act in 1971, so Memorial Day would always be on the last Monday of May.

The Heart

Today, you can find Memorial Day events throughout the United States. On Memorial Day, we remember those we have lost and their sacrifice. Any military member or spouse can tell you about those special to them who are no longer with us. On Memorial Day, we remember them, who they were, what they did, and what we miss the most about them.

Memorial Day often marks the unofficial start of summer. A weekend filled with BBQs, beach trips, family gatherings, and even store sales or free meals for service members. And while there’s nothing wrong with enjoying those traditions, it’s important to pause and remember the day’s true meaning.

Memorial Day is not just a day off; it’s a tribute to the men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice while serving in the United States Military. Their courage, service, and selflessness made our freedoms possible. Amid the fun and food, may we always take a moment to reflect on those who gave everything for their country, and honor them not just with our words, but with our gratitude and how we live.

The History and Heart of Memorial Day

The Military Spouse

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The Military Spouse

The military spouse, the one who has chosen to stand beside a soldier, a marine, an airman, a coastie, a guardian, or a sailor. To go with them from place to place. To support them through their career choice, and beyond.

The military spouse, whose dreams of married life probably looked a little different than they are now. She thought they could buy a house down the street from her family. He thought she would always be home with him. The military spouse, whose reality is far from the expected.

The military spouse, who finds herself on an airplane with a toddler, traveling to her new home in Germany. The military spouse, whose children will be born in three different states, and two different countries. The military spouse, who gave birth with her mom by her side, instead of her partner, wishing things didn’t have to be this way.

The military spouse is told she or he is strong, but the truth is, sometimes we don’t feel that way. Sometimes we feel like we weren’t cut out to make it in this life. Sometimes we feel like the burden is too heavy, and the stress is too much.

We see how much our spouse loves what they do, whether it is going to the desert, or living on a ship. Whether it is flying an airplane, or working as a mechanic. Whatever they do in the military, we know this was the right choice, and we want to stand by their decision, even if doing so is hard.

When you marry someone who wants to serve their country by serving in the military, you also have to know that you have married someone that will have a unique job. You will have to understand that many of your friends might not get the life.

“Why can’t you guys come home for Christmas?”

“Can’t he tell them he doesn’t want to go?”

“I could never do it”

But you figure out pretty quickly that this military life is your life. And while your civilian friends might not be able to relate to everything you are going through, you know that they can be there for you, just like you can be there for them, for whatever they are going through.

The military spouse will have to go days, weeks, and even months apart from your loved one. And for some, even years. We have to solo parent, making decisions alone that would normally be made by both parents. We have to step in and step up when it isn’t always easy to do so.

The military spouse finds themselves on a journey they couldn’t have dreamed of. We find ourselves having all these adventures, from living down the street from an actual castle to finding friends that are more like family, going through life together, even if it is virtually.

The military spouse lives their military life the best way they can. Not all military spouses are the same, and we all bring our individual likes and dislikes, personalities, and gifts to the community. We can help one another out, be the community we need, and grow through our challenges together.

The military spouse is a part of a community that goes beyond anything they could have imagined. Because of this life a military spouse can say they literally have friends around the world.

The military spouse may have to wait, and that is always a difficult thing to do. But they also get to say hello again, running into their lover’s arms. They can grow through the challenges, and can find unique and creative ways to get through the deployments and other times part.

The military spouse may have to move every few years. That is not going to be easy to do. But by doing so they can learn about different parts of the country and world. They can bloom where they are stationed, and create and find community wherever they go.

The military spouse is the heart of the home. The constant in the changing waters of military life. The one who tries to pull everything all together.

The military spouse doesn’t always feel strong but can find ways to get through it all. Taking each challenge day-by-day, and reminding themselves that this is their life, and it can be a good one, filled with lots of fun memories, seasons of growth, and many amazing friends.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day: A Tradition of Strength, Love, and Legacy

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May 9th, 2025, is Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

Military Spouse Appreciation Day recognizes and appreciates military spouses. It is always celebrated on the Friday before Mother’s Day. The US President typically commemorates this day with a ceremonial speech and proclamation each year.

In 1984, President Ronald Reagan recognized the importance of military spouses and their commitment to their service members. He declared May 23rd, 1984, the first Military Spouse Day. The Secretary of Defence, Casper Weinberger, declared it the Friday before Mother’s Day.

Presidental Proclamations

“Throughout the years, as the numbers of our married men and women in uniform have grown and as their military missions have become more complex and dispersed, their spouses have made countless personal sacrifices to support the Armed Forces. In many instances, they subordinated their personal and professional aspirations to the greater benefit of the service family. Responding to the call of duty, they frequently endured long periods of separation or left familiar surroundings and friends to re-establish their homes in distant places. And there they became American ambassadors abroad.

As volunteers, military spouses have provided exemplary service and leadership in educational, community, recreational, religious, social and cultural endeavors. And as parents and homemakers, they preserve the cornerstone of our Nation’s strength — the American family.” – A part of President Ronald Reagan’s Proclamation, April 17, 1984.

“Military spouses share the sacrifices of service with our Nation’s men and women in uniform. As members of the Armed Forces serve in the United States and across the world, military spouses also serve our Nation. When a servicemember goes to war, we know their spouse also shares in that sacrifice. I am inspired by their commitment to family and our Nation, and on Military Spouse Day, we honor these individuals for their contributions.” – A part of President Barack Obama’s Proclamation, May 08, 2009.

All About Military Spouses

According to the White House Military Spouse Demographics and Employment Information sheet, there are approximately 1 million military spouses, including 624,000 active duty spouses and 372,000 Selected Reserve/National Guard spouses.

Approximately 50% of active duty spouses are under 30, but the average age of active duty spouses is 31.5.

92% of active duty spouses are female, and 89% of active duty military spouses have some college education or higher.

Active duty military spouses also have a 24% unemployment rate, and 74% have children at home.

Why is Military Spouse Appreciation Day Important?

Military life can sometimes feel like quite a lot. There can be too much deployment, too much change, and too much loneliness. It’s important to recognize that what we do as military spouses matters.

We have the privilege of supporting those who serve our country, from sending them off to war to welcoming them back home. As military spouses and partners, we let them know that someone is in their corner and that they have someone to come home to.

Military life involves many sacrifices, and sometimes, those sacrifices can hit us pretty hard. So, it is important to have a day when the country acknowledges what we go through and experience. When so many service members are married and have a family, support for the military spouse is essential.

I am thankful to have been a part of the military community. We have so many amazing people in it, doing such amazing things.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day! May you feel loved and seen, and know that what you do is all a part of making our country a better place 🙂

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

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Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

Do you love skiing or snowboarding? If so, you need to check out the Epic Military Pass. It’s quite a military discount and will allow you to save on sking and snowboarding all season long.

What is the Epic Pass?

The Epic Pass is a ski resort pass for the entire season. The pass gives you access to a big network of ski resorts across the US as well as a few international locations. Vail Resorts offers this pass.

The Epic Pass includes: Vail, CO, Beaver Creek, CO, Breckenridge, CO, Keystone, CO, Crested Butte, CO, Park City, UT, Heavenly, CA/NV, Northstar, CA, Kirkwood, CA, Stevens Pass, WA, Whistler Blackcomb, BC, Stowe, VT, Okemo, VT, Mount Sunapee, NH, Mount Snow, VT, Attitash Mountain Resort, NH, Wildcat Mountain, NH, Crotched Mountain, NH, Hunter Mountain, NY, Liberty Mountain Resort, PA, Roundtop Mountain Resort, PA, Whitetail Resort, PA, Jack Frost, PA, Big Boulder, PA, Seven Springs, PA, Laurel Mountain, PA, Hidden Valley, PA, Afton Alps, MN, Mt Brighton, MI, Wilmot, WI, Alpine Valley, OH, Boston Mills, OH, Brandywine, OH, Mad River Mountain, OH, Hidden Valley, MO, Snow Creek, MO, Paoli Peaks, IN, Europe: Andermatt-Sedrun-Disentis, Crans-Montana, Australia: Perisher – 2026 Access, Falls Creek – 2026 Access, Hotham – 2026 Access.

History of the Epic Pass

Back in 1957, Pete Seibert, who had served in the 10th Mountain Division during World War II, and Earl Eaton, who had served as an Army engineer, returned to the same mountains where they had trained during the war. They came back with a new mission: “to create the most beloved mountain resorts in the world.”

In 1962, Vail Mountain opened with two chairlifts and one gondola. It would later become Vail Resorts.

The Epic Pass was launched in 2008, and the Epic Military Pass was introduced in 2018.

What are the Different Epic Pass Options?

There are several different Epic Military Passes depending on your military status. Keep in mind that the regular Epic Pass is $1,051 for adults and $537 for children for the 2025/2026 season.

With the pass, you will also receive 20% off food, lodging, group lessons, rentals, and more. Plus, discounted tickets for your friends and family.

Active duty military, active duty dependents, both adult and children, retired military, and dependents, adult and children: $185! What a deal!

Military veterans as well as dependents: Adults: $601, Children 5-17: $321

The Liberty Pass gives you unlimited access to ski and ride Keystone all season and also includes the 20% off food, lodging, group lessons, rentals, and more. It is for active duty personnel, retirees, veterans, and their dependents. Adults: $321, Children (5-17): $225.

You will need to verify your military service during the checkout process. Visit the Epic Military Pass page for more information.

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

To the Seasoned Military Spouse

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the seasoned spouse

The truth is, you might be a seasoned military spouse, you might have advice to offer and you have definitely been there before, but you are also a human being.

You have done this before, deployments aren’t a new thing, and you feel like you have to be strong, for all the new military spouses around you.

But the reality is, after the FRG meeting is over, after you get home and crawl into bed, your heart still worries over this upcoming deployment. You wonder how you will get through another nine months apart. You wonder if this will be the deployment something bad happens, how many times can someone go over there and come back the same?

Just Because You Are a Seasoned Military Spouse…

Even as a seasoned military spouse, you have the right to miss your spouse too.

You have the right to not have all the answers.

You have the right to be the one that needs the shoulder to cry on instead of the other way around.

No Matter How Long You Have Been A Military Spouse

Because no matter how long you have been a military spouse, no matter how long you have lived a military life, you might never be fully prepared for your own emotions during the difficult parts.

As a seasoned spouse, you know that you can’t spend the whole deployment complaining, but it is okay to share with your close friends that you are having a hard time.

As a seasoned spouse, you probably look back on everything you have been through and wonder how you got to where you are today. You remember when you were the brand new spouse, walking onto your very first military installation, unsure of what the future held.

Looking for Deployment Advice?:

19 Solo Parenting Hacks to Use the Next Time Your Spouse Deploys

Sharing Your Personal Story is Important

As a seasoned spouse, you know you can help other military spouses and sharing your personal story can help them more than you might realize.

I know for myself, I have always looked at those who have been doing this longer than I have, and have been able to learn what worked for them, and even what didn’t.

There is this idea that in order to support your military service member you have to appear as an unmovable tower of strength. And maybe you don’t always feel like you are. Maybe you too need some encouragement.

It’s Okay to Ask For Help

So, to the seasoned military spouse, know that you have a lot to offer but you can also be the one asking for help. You can be the one that needs to vent, and you can be the one that just needs a night off from the stress.

The military changes over time and what things were like in 1999 were different than in 2009 and different even more here in 2019.

You might start to feel that what worked for you 10 years ago won’t work again now, and maybe that is true. However, you are resilient and you will find ways to cope, even if this new age of the military.

Be kind to yourself, take breaks when you can, and know that you can get through this too. Learn your strengths and be aware of your weaknesses. Reach out to others for help, and help those around you that might need that little extra support.

Do you consider yourself a seasoned military spouse?

To the Seasoned Military Spouse

When Military Life Breaks You

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Military life is hard, we all know that. Military families have to deal with so many challenges. Military children do too. Military spouses have to take on pretty much everything and sometimes the stress can feel like too much.

Sometimes the deployments are just too close together or they are too long or there is just too much loneliness because of frequent moves. Sometimes military life breaks you.

What do you do if you are in a place where it feels like too much? What can you do if you feel broken? You know you are not going to walk away from your spouse but you know you need to do something.

You know how important their military career is, but you feel like you can’t keep going on like this. You are lost and just not sure what you can do to get through the next few months or years until military life is over.

1) Get Back To Your Faith. No matter what religion you follow, you do put your faith in something. Cling to it. Pray. Meditate. Grow in your faith.

Try to find a good place to go each week. Look at what your post or base has to offer. Look online to see what you can discover locally. Write in a journal, sing, go for long walks. Find a way to find some peace in the midst of this lifestyle.

2) Don’t be afraid to get help. Sometimes the best thing to do is call for help. Find someone you can talk with. Someone you can talk to about what is going on. Someone that won’t judge and someone who can give you some good advice on how to deal with what you are dealing with.

If you feel like you need some extra help you can find a Military Family Life Consultant to talk with or make an appointment with a local provider. Tricare will cover up to 8 sessions without needing a referral. Just call up the provider and let them know you have Tricare and they should be able to help you from there. I had to do this during our 4th deployment and doing so was worth the time.

3) Let Things Go. Seriously. Let it go. Don’t worry about what isn’t important. Some of what you stress about matters, and some of what you stress about doesn’t matter at all.

Let go of trying to be a perfect military spouse. For one thing, no one is a perfect military spouse and you will drive yourself crazy trying to be one. Do what you can each day and let the rest of everything go.

4) Depend on your friends. If someone offers to babysit, let them. If someone offers to mow your lawn, let them. If someone wants to bring you dinner, let them.

Get together with friends. Make dates with them. Join them for coffee or a playdate. Invite them over for dinner. Friends will get you through, even if they don’t 100% understand what you are currently dealing with.

If someone is making you feel bad, let them go. Surround yourself with supportive people. If you don’t have any local friends, join a club, playgroup or even start one yourself. Find something you enjoy doing and look for others that enjoy that too.

5) Make Time For Yourself. Read that book. Watch that movie. Start writing your book.

Make a list of all the things that make you happy. When you get really upset, start going down your list. Try to surround yourself with things you enjoy.

You might have to work ten hours a day. You might be with kids from 6 am to 8 pm. But whatever time you have for yourself, enjoy every minute of that time. Even just 30 minutes a day can help. 

Making time for yourself as a military spouse is very important. Even something as simple as picking up some flowers and putting them in a vase on your kitchen table can help with your mood.

We can’t change a lot of what military life is going to bring. There will be deployments and trainings and too many goodbyes. There will be lonely nights and tearful goodbyes.

However, when you are a military spouse, you have to figure out a way to make it through. Even when you feel like military life is breaking you. Do what you can to figure out how to get to a better place. This will help your spouse in their career and will help you in living a fuller military life.

Join my email list and receive a free Guide for your first 30 days of deployment! 

When Military Life Breaks You

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

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Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

I can’t help but look back over the years as a military spouse and think about the people I’ve met. How some of them have this military life down pat, and others struggle a little bit more. My heart is with the military community and will always be, no matter how many years take me away from my personal experience with this life.

From when their spouse first leaves for boot camp until they try to make their way through the transition back to civilian life, we military spouses have to go through situations that others do not.

We put our spouse on an airplane and send them off to one of the most dangerous places in the world. We do this, holding the hands of our children who don’t quite understand why Daddy or Mommy has to be away for so long. We do this knowing they have a dangerous job and they might not come back. We do this because deep down we know that support our spouse is what we must do, through this crazy military life.

We, military spouses, make friends with people from all over the country and the world. We might be coming from different places with different backgrounds but we have one thing in common, the love of our service member and the desire to support them throughout their career. I might have grown up in California and you might have grown up in Alaska but we can bond over our love of books and the craziness of raising children in the military world.

We, military spouses, might have to move to the middle of nowhere, away from anything we have ever known.

We might have to give up our own career, even if just for a few years. We might feel a bit lost not knowing what we should be focusing on during this time of our lives. But this just gives us a reason to think outside the box and figure out a way to make our dreams come true, even within the military lifestyle.

We, military spouses, have to learn how to adjust even when we really don’t want to. We might love where we are stationed and then one day our spouse comes home and tells us we are moving to the other side of the country, in a place we never wanted to go. We have to bloom where we are stationed but sometimes that is easier than others, especially if there is a beach nearby.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

We, military spouses, get to go places and see things we would never have had our spouse never joined the military.

I have a child that was born in Germany! Another country! Sometimes I think about that and take a step back in this crazy life that we made just because of my husband enlisted one day in 2005.

We, military spouses, have seen hardships. We have seen friends lose their husbands, either to war or years later to something else. We have seen marriages that seemed so strong fall apart.

We, military spouses, have seen our own husbands act differently than we ever thought they would. The fact is, war changes people and when your husband has been to war, he will change. Some service members handle these changes better than others. Some don’t handle them at all.

And yet, the military spouse tries her best to support her spouse through everything, even as things do not go as planned.

When I meet new military spouses, I want to hug them. And I am not a big hugger. I want to let them know that this life they started is going to be a crazy one but in a lot of ways, it will also be a good one.

They might not be the same person five or ten years from now but because of this crazy military life they will grow and will most likely become a better person through everything they have to deal with. That this military life will not always be easy, that they might cry a lot and that friends will come and go. That their faith will be shaken and made stronger. That their ideas about marriage and even motherhood will be shaken to the core.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

If you are a new military spouse, know that you are now a part of a strong community that wants to help you through what you will encounter in the years to come. If you are not such a new military spouse, know that what you have been through has made you stronger and will allow you to help others in the future. Don’t be afraid to share your stories and your experiences, they can help.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

As you are living your military spouse life, take it one day at a time if you need to. And remember, you are stronger than you think.

9 Ways To Save Money On A Super Tight Budget

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9 Ways to Stretch Your Budget When Money’s Really Tight

There are many reasons why a military family could be on a tight budget. They could be saving for a PCS, paying off debt, or simply hit by the economy, where everything seems to be going up in price.

There could be times during military life when you need a super tight budget and when you can spend a bit more. Whatever the reasons, there are things you can do to help you save money, not overspend, and be able to stick to your budget.

Here are 9 ideas for saving money on a tight budget:

Cut Down On Eating Out

Eating out will get you. We are a family of five, and sometimes even fast food costs between $50 and $60. Yikes! If you do this too many times a month, it can add up. If you go out to eat, try to find coupons and use your military discount. Look for kids eat free nights, and be smart about what you order. Try to look at eating out as a treat, not an everyday thing.

Use Coupons

If you don’t already coupon, you should. There are many different ways to do so, from clipping the coupons that come in the mail to using an app like Ibotta. You should also do your research about whether the Commissary is truly cheaper than another grocery store in your area. Sometimes it’s not.

Meet friends for coffee

Going out to lunch or dinner with friends can sometimes cost a pretty penny. If you meet for coffee, you can spend a lot less and still have a good time. And if you have kids, look for coffee shops near a playground. We have a few here at Fort Campbell that have been lifesavers for me over the years.

Shop thrift stores

Thrift stores can be fantastic places for finding deals, whether it is clothes that you know your kids are going to grow out of in less than a year or replacement dishes for your kitchen. Some thrift stores have days when specific items are on sale or when they offer certain discounts. Make sure to check to see if you have an on-post thrift store, too.

Find free events

Almost every community will have something free for you to do every weekend. You just have to look for what they are. You can search for events by city, topic, and date on Facebook. If you want to do something fun with your family, look and see what is going on and what you might want to do. You can have a lot of fun at free events and save money by going to them.

Cut Your Bills

Do you have many unnecessary subscriptions? It’s time to audit them and only keep the ones you really want. Check your other bills to see if you can lower them. Even $50-100 a month can make a difference.

Simply Say No

Saying no is powerful. You don’t have to say yes to everything. I know this is hard for some, but if you can say no sometimes, you will save yourself some stress and some money.

If someone invites you and your kids out to a movie and you don’t want to see it, say no. You could invite the friends over for a playdate instead. Don’t feel like you have to say yes to everything, especially when the more you say yes to the more money you will spend.

DIY vs Hiring Someone

If you can do a DIY project instead of hiring someone, do it. There is a lot of advice and ideas out there for learning how to do things around your home. Check out YouTube and Pinterest for ideas.

Use your library

With a good library, you never really have to buy books. You can get paperback and hardback books, as well as Kindle and audiobooks, using apps like the Libby app. Check with your library to see what they offer. In addition to books, your library might have a lot of community events going on such as movie nights, or even classes.

What creative ways have you been able to cut back on your spending and save money when you are on a tighter budget?