Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

7 Ways to Celebrate Fall, in GIFs

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7 Ways to Celebrate Fall, in GIFs

Fall is just about here, although at this moment it is 96 degrees outside. Tennessee is being ridiculous this year and summer doesn’t want to go home. At the same time, leaves have started to fall, and you can tell the season is about to change.

Fall is my favorite season, even more so now that we live somewhere with four seasons. I love how the weather changes, and how colorful the leaves are in the fall. The start of autumn takes me out of summer and leads to me a cooler time of year, filled with the holidays, cozy nights, and warm drinks.

Looking for ways how to celebrate fall? Here are 7 of them, in GIFs:

Go to a pumpkin patch…take your kids, take your camera, enjoy the time on the farm and come home with a pumpkin for each of you 🙂

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Admire the leaves…check out all the colors, take a lot of photos, and share with your friends and family that don’t get to experience their amazingness where they live.

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Decorate your home…grab your fall decor, buy a few new items, and get going. Your house will feel like the season is here, even if it is still pretty hot outside (Tennessee, I am looking at you.)

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Bake! Bake! Bake! From Halloween cookies to apple pie, it’s time to bake all the yummy treats. Try a new pumpkin cookie recipe and frost some ghost cookies with your kids.

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Order that pumpkin latte! You know you want to. You know you can’t wait to have the first one of the season. Look, I am not a huge fan of the pumpkin latte but I always enjoy having at least one, to start off the fall season. Plus, this year, the pumpkin cold brew at Starbucks is actually pretty yummy!

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Carve a pumpkin with your kids, if you don’t mind the mess. Or, you can skip the carving and paint your pumpkins, which can be just as fun. Unless you want to roast your own pumpkin seeds. Then you will need to carve them.

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Light some pumpkin candles…or get your pumpkin-scented Scentsy or both! It’s the time of year for all the fall scents. They are the best, from applies to pumpkin to fall nights!

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Hopefully, by the time you read this, it feels like fall where you live too. I am hoping we get our fall weather any day now. So I can break out my sweaters and put my shorts back into my closet 🙂

What is your favorite part of fall???

The Night Before They Deploy

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The Night Before They Deploy

You never thought this day would come, you held on to the hope that something would change. That they really wouldn’t have to go, or that you would get some extra time together.

But it is now the night before they deploy, the last night to say goodbye, and you are trying to keep it all together.

A part of you is relieved. The deployment can begin. You can start your countdown.

The sooner they leave, the sooner the deployment will be over. And then life can get back to normal. At least on the surface.

You have been through this before, but this time seems different. Deployments always seem so different, no matter how many you go through.

The Night Before They Deploy

You are worried about your kids, you are worried about yourself. You want to rock this deployment, but right now you are just wondering how you will make it through each day. You want to thrive vs just survive during this deployment, but that seems like a big task.

Your anxiety is up, your anxiety always goes up when they deploy. You think about all the things you can do to help, you hope that something does.

On this night before they deploy, you think about all you have been through together. You remember your dating years, your wedding, your first year together. You think about your future, what may be, what you hope will be.

You are fully aware of the dangers of serving in a war zone, but you hope and you pray that your spouse will come back to you. You hope and pray your friends can have that happen too. You hope and pray for a deployment where everyone returns…not sure how possible that even is.

You hope you can find your groove this deployment like you did last time. You figured out how to do this before, you should be able to do it again. Your friend circle has changed, but you hope that you can make plenty of good memories with your new friends, just like you did last time.

As you watch your spouse, this night before they deploy, you think about how many times you have had to watch them go.

When they left for basic training, a few years into your marriage.

When they deployed the first time when your son was only a year old.

When they left for JRTC, to prepare for this deployment.

The Night Before They Deploy

You remind yourself you have been through this before, even though you will never get used to saying goodbye. You remind yourself that you are strong and can support your spouse in this way. You remind yourself that you are creative and always figure it out.

But you are worried too. Worried that this deployment will be too long. Worried that this deployment will be too hard. Worried that this deployment might break you…hours before they even have to go.

You want to enjoy this last night together. You don’t want the time together to be filled with tears. There will be time for tears later.

On this night before they deploy, you try to focus on what you can accomplish when they are gone. You make a list of deployment goals. You make notes of what you hope to get done.

As you lay your head on your pillow that night, you hold back the tears as they hold you one last time before they go. You know the morning will come soon, too soon. You know this time together is limited.

You drift off to sleep, and before you know it is the morning of the deployment. They are already up, getting ready. You don’t want to get up, if you do, all of this becomes reals. But you do it anyway.

And soon it is time to leave, to get into the car, to drive them to where they have to go.

And then you are saying goodbye. You are letting go. One last hug, one last kiss. And one more just because.

They say goodbye to the kids, they say goodbye to you, and they walk away, to start another deployment, another time apart.

As a military spouse, you know deployments are part of the deal. You know that saying goodbye is a part of the deal. You know that this won’t be the last time you will have to say goodbye.

But you also know that you are strong enough for this. You are strong enough for another deployment. The time apart won’t always be easy, and the days might be more difficult than normal, but you are committed to getting through, even if just one day at a time.

Are you getting ready to go through a deployment? Make sure to check out my other deployment posts to help you through. And head on over to my Facebook group to help find extra support during military life.

To The Military Spouse Whose Spouse Just Left For Basic

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To The Military Spouse Whose Spouse Just Left For Basic

Maybe this was the plan. You would get married, and they would leave.

Maybe this was never the plan. You have been married for five years, and now they are going to join.

Whatever the case might be, saying goodbye to your spouse going off to basic training is a big deal, filled with so many different emotions.

You might be sad, even though this was something you wanted to do too.

You might be worried, knowing that eventually, they might have to go to war.

You might be anxious, having to be alone for the first time since you have been together.

All of these feelings are normal and expected. They come with sending a spouse or even a boyfriend or girlfriend off to join the military. This season in your life is going to feel pretty complicated, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

So, to the military spouse whose spouse just left for basic, to the military spouse whose husband just left for Fort Benning, to the military spouse whose wife just left for Fort Jackson…welcome to military life.

You, as a military spouse have started a new journey. One your friends and family might not totally understand. One you might not understand.

There will be lonely nights, but there will also be love letters.

There will be days when you can’t help but cry, but there will be days when you smile with pride when you first see your soldier in uniform.

There will be times when you question if you are cut out for this, and there will be days when you know in your heart you were.

As a new military spouse, everything can feel so overwhelming. What is DEERS? Where do you go to get your first ID? When will you see your service member again?

Know that you don’t have to know everything right away. I don’t even know everything after 14 years, and there is still so much I could learn. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, which can also be a great way to get to know other people.

Stay busy. Whether it is during basic training, AIT, or a future separation or deployment. Staying busy is going to be the key.

Make friends. Be friendly, and be open to meeting new people. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, you are going to need friends in your new life.

If you are not near a duty station, join an online group, and then when you do get to your first duty station, make plans to get out there and get to know your new community.

Don’t be afraid to cry and let things out. Military life means you might have to do that sometimes. Military life means you might not be able to always keep it all together.

So, to the military spouse whose spouse just left for basic, try not to second guess your decision. The decision to follow the person you love through this new life. The decision to become a military spouse.

There will be times when you will step back with wonder of all you have seen and done since your spouse joined the military. There will be times when you can support other spouses because you have been through it too. There will be times when things don’t feel so new and so scary. I promise.

If you have children, military life means solo parenting and basic training might be your first taste of that. The idea of being both mom and dad, even for a few months can be completely overwhelming. You might never have had to solo parent before, not even for a weekend.

But you will find that you will figure out how to solo parent like a boss. You might have to throw out some of your ideas, you might have to change the way you do certain things, but you will figure out what works best for you and your kids.

That might be pizza nights every Friday with a neighbor and their kids. That might mean putting off potty training a few months until your spouse is back home with you. That might mean having to rely more on friends and family than you are used to.

Basic training is going to be your first experience as a military spouse. This season is going to be hard for both of you. Remember too, basic training is not the same as regular military life.

Once your spouse gets orders to their first duty station, you will be able to move there. Sometimes this can happen quickly, and other times, especially overseas, it can take more time. But once you get there and start to get settled, your life will feel a little more normal.

If they are not deployed, or away at training, they will probably go to work every day and be home at night. They should have weekends and holidays off, and sometimes even a three or four day weekend during the year. There will be family time and time to be a couple.

This will of course change if they do deploy or have to go away for training. You might also be apart before and after a PCS and CQ means 24-hour duty. Keep this in mind when they do leave for basic and you are feeling like you will never be able to see them again or that your life will never include anything normal again. That simply isn’t true.

So, to the military spouse whose spouse just left for basic…know, you got this.

However long they will be away from you, you got this.

However difficult this new military life journey may seem, you got this.

You are strong enough for this life, even if you have to take it one day a time. You are strong enough for when they are away at basic training, and any future deployment or separation. You are strong enough and you don’t have to go through this alone.

If you are just starting your military spouse journey, make sure to take a look at my blog posts on deployments, and posts on other parts of military life. You don’t have to walk this road alone.

When The Towers Fell

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When The Towers Fell

We didn’t know what that day would bring. Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, started out with clear skies and so much promise.

Kids off to school.

Mom and dad off to work.

People getting to their jobs, some running late, some arriving early.

As the morning began, we had no idea what was planned. We had no idea others wanted to hurt us. We had no idea the world was about to change.

When The Towers Fell

At 8:30 that morning, some wondered what they would have for lunch that day, or maybe if they would be late picking up the kids from school. Some may have thought about their birthday party the weekend before, or what movie they would go to see the next. A new military wife was just getting used to the new PX, and how the Commissary worked, she wasn’t thinking too much of her husband going to war.

Then at 8:45 am…that all changed as the first plane flew into the World Trade Center.

And a little after 9:00 am, we knew, this wasn’t some random accident when the second plane hit. Someone was doing this. Someone was attacking us and life would be forever changed.

At 9:45 am, a plane flew into the Pentagon. For so many of us, this was surreal. Something we had only seen in disaster movies. Something that didn’t really happen in real life.

And then the towers fell, first the south tower, then the north tower, we could not believe this was happening. We could not believe what we were watching.

As the moments went by, we were glued to our television sets. A college student, wondering what this meant for the US, for the World. A young mom, rocking her baby girl, wondering what this meant for her future. A military wife, knowing in her heart that this was the start of something that would change the military forever.

And as we waited and wondered and prayed…

As we hoped and cried and reached out...

As we listened to our leaders try to explain what was going on…

We tried to make sense of all of this. We tried to make sense of what we were watching. We tried to understand what going on but all we saw was a tragedy. One we never would have expected.

When The Towers Fell

Almost 3,000 people lost their lives that day, right here in America. The unthinkable was a reality. A new threat that we still have today. Terrorism wasn’t so front and center like it is now.

Before 9/11, we knew terrorism existed. We knew what terrorism was, but not on this level. Not right here in front of us.

In the days and weeks after 9/11, America came together in a way I had never seen before and haven’t seen since. I remember gathering at a local church, packed with people, to pay our respects, to mourn together, to not go through this alone.

We all felt like family. We were all in this together. We had to be, that was the only way we could get through it.

And now, all these years later, we still think of those who lost their lives on that day, and the days after. From the first responders to those who serve in the military.

We think of their loved ones, those who mourn on a personal level. Those who never thought that saying goodbye that morning would be the last time. And for those who never 100% knew what happened to their family members.

When The Towers Fell

We think of the gold star spouses, and family members, fighting the war on terror. We think of those who are still getting deployed, and who are still fighting for our freedom, against those who want to hurt us.

We can’t forget those who went into the rubble, to help find survivors. Those that were a caring heart in a sea of craziness. Those who worked tirelessly to help those in need.

“What separates us from the animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met.” – Author David Levithan

As we head into this 18th anniversary of this tragedy, I will say a prayer for those who are still missing their loved ones. For those who were shaken by what happened in a very personal way. For those who were too young to remember, but still feel the effects.

I will say a prayer for our military, those who have deployed and those who will. For their families, and those that love them. For the future and the hope that this enemy can be defeated someday.

And while the years will pass, and time will go on, I hope we never forget the spirit and the love that was shown in our time of tragedy, as our country came together, and as we tried to make sense of everything that happened on that September day. I know I never will.

Is the Regal Unlimited Pass Worth it?

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Is the Regal Unlimited Pass Worth it?

Last year I bought a MoviePass. At first, that meant that I would pay around $10 a month to see unlimited movies. I could watch one movie a day, every day for the whole month. This sounded SO amazing!

I love going to the movies. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I will even go by myself, and I find doing so very relaxing. But the cost of tickets, even with a military discount, can add up. But MoviePass was going to solve that problem. And I was here for it.

I got my MoviePass in May of last year, and it worked well at first. But then, sometime in July, things fell apart. That was the beginning of the downfall of MoviePass. After that, they kept changing how the pass worked and would only let us see movies from a list. At first the list idea wasn’t too horrible, but eventually, when the movie for each day was the same all week long, I knew I was done.

I also had heard that Regal was going to add their own subscription plan. I couldn’t wait, and then, about a month ago, it finally happened! I signed up the first day I could.

I am now at the month mark and I am in love with this Regal Unlimited Pass. I saw eight movies during the first month, and I hope this is going to be around for a long time.

I do have to pay almost $20 for my pass. Depending on where you live, you might have to pay a little more. I can see any movie I want, even more than once. I also get 10% off of concessions.

I can easily buy my ticket on my app, and pay a $.50 charge or I can buy the ticket at the theater, showing them my app. I can also buy tickets for my family or friends when buying my own ticket. They make it all super easy.

If I want to see an RPX or 3D movie, I just have to pay a small fee to upgrade my ticket. If I go to Nashville, or even home to California where the theaters are more expensive, I would just have to pay a $1.50 charge for them. If I lived near those places and went often, I could upgrade my pass to pay a little more each month.

For us here in the Fort Campbell area, once I see two movies a month, I have paid for my ticket. I go a lot more often than that, and with the pass, I can go even more than I usually do.

You do have to be 16 years old to have a pass, but hoping they might come out with a family plan in the future. I don’t receive Regal Rewards points for my movie, but I do for any other tickets I buy as well as concessions.

So what did I see in August?

Here is my list:

  • Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (saw this twice)
  • Ready or Not
  • Aladdin
  • The Kitchen
  • Where’d You Go, Bernadette?
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain
  • Angry Birds 2

I am looking forward to this fall and all the amazing movies coming out. I love love love having a Regal Unlimited Movie Subscription Pass and think it is 110% worth having.

Should YOU get one?

Well, how often do you go to the movies? Is cost an issue for you? Check out how much your local Regal Unlimited Pass would be and decide for yourself. It quickly pays for itself if you are a movie lover like me.

If you don’t have any Regal Theaters nearby, AMC also has a pass. The AMC pass is a little different but could be worth getting if you like going to AMC. Keep in mind too that both AMC and Regal has a small military discount of $1 off. At our local theater, it is a special, military ticket.

Now, go enjoy some movies! I know I plan to 🙂

Balancing Staying Busy When Your Spouse Is Deployed

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Balancing Staying Busy When Your Spouse Is Deployed

Stay busy!

Fill your days!

Don’t stay at home!

Have you heard this deployment advice before? It’s good advice. If you are always at home, not doing anything, the deployment is going to be a lot harder for you. You need to stay busy, find things to do, so that time passes instead of standing still.

But…

Can you be too busy?

What if you have taken on too much?

Can you survive without any downtime?

I know I can’t. I need time at home to recharge. I need to relax. I can’t be busy all of the time.

During deployments, I find myself trying to find the perfect balance. I want to stay busy, but I still want some downtime. I don’t want to get bored, but also want to be able to breathe a bit sometimes. And finding this perfect balance can be so difficult.

So what can you do to find that balance? How can you stay busy without being too busy? Here are some tips to help:

Say yes to the best

When filling out your calendar, you might be presented with so many different activities and events. Only say yes to the ones you really want to go to. What types of things do you really enjoy doing? What works best for your kids, and your budget?

By only saying yes to the best things, you can avoid feeling burned out by activities that really aren’t your style. While you want to be open to new experiences, if you know that taking your kids to a certain play-place always ends in tears, it might be best not to make plans to go there for the time being.

Know your kids

This goes along with what you say yes to. You know your own kids. You know what works well for them and what doesn’t. You know how much they can handle on a given day.

I have a son that needs a lot of downtime at home to recharge, especially after a long school day. This can be a big challenge when trying to stay busy. I always had to figure out the best way to balance our time keeping that in mind.

Stay busy at home

There are things you can do to stay busy when you are at home. You can start a DIY project, start on a new book series, or even sign up to take classes online.

You don’t always have to fill your calendar with big events or activities far from home. There is a lot you can do to stay busy at home, which can be helpful when you have small kids.

The key is having some type of plan. Invite a friend over for playdates, put down the dates you will be repainting your kitchen on your calendar, or make time to go for a walk to break up the day.

It’s okay to say no

It’s okay to say no. It is. Running a household when you are the only parent around means you have to either do everything or delicate everything so it gets done. You might be the only one cooking, the only one cleaning, the only one making sure the kids get to where they need to go.

Because of this, you can get burned out pretty easily. During this stage, you might find people asking you to do things. You might find yourself feeling like you always have to say yes.

But you know what? You don’t always have to say yes. You can say no sometimes. The world will not fall apart I promise.

If you are feeling pretty overwhelmed with your busy schedule, see what you can say no to. It might even be saying no to something that week, knowing you need the rest. It might even be saying no to something good, but deep down you know you need a chill day more than you need to be busy.

Plan days to relax

Put days on the calendar just to relax. This can look different to different people.

Some would want to just chill at home, others would book a spa day or go browse around a bookstore.

If you have kids, check into your local CDC to see if they have any Super Saturday events going on, or if they offer extra free childcare hours. You can take these days for yourself during a deployment, and create some peace during a busy time.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Some people like to be busier than others. I know for myself, I need to have my downtime, deployment or not. I like to get out and do things but if I don’t have that downtime, I can really feel it.

Sometimes I see what some of my friends do each weekend and I feel like I could never do that much on a regular basis. And I think that is okay. We all have different personalities.

During a deployment, you might see friends, even ones with a deployed husband, doing what you feel would be too much for you. Don’t worry about that. They are doing what is best for them, you do what is best for you. Don’t feel like you have to keep up with them if that doesn’t work for you and your family.

There is something nice about finding that perfect balance, and you might not always totally get there. You might go through months at a time where everything is flowing and then will have to redo your schedule and make some changes. Burn out is so very real during a deployment but you can do things to help stay more balanced.

Whatever you do, however you choose to stay busy, know that it is okay to take a down day, or not schedule so much. Figure out a good balance and remember that how you choose to spend the time might look different than how other people do. Find things you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to say no sometimes.

Make sure to check out my other deployment posts to help you through and enjoy these blog post from other military spouse bloggers on self-care and staying busy:

What does milspouse self-care look like anyway?

Self-Care for MILSOs: A Deployment’s Worth of Healthy Practices

50+ Amazing Things Military Spouses Can Do During Deployment

There is No Minimum Amount of Time to Miss Your Spouse

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There is No Minimum Amount of Time to Miss Your Spouse

The longest deployment my husband went through was 15 months. The shortest was 5.5 months. And then we had a few in-between.

The 15-month deployment was long, and we lost a lot of men. That part of the deployment was so hard to deal with, and I am thankful that wasn’t quite the case in any of the deployments that followed that one.

I was so thankful to hear when the Army went down to 9 months for most deployments. I know that some do deploy for longer, but to hear that the 12 months (or longer) wasn’t the standard anymore was a relief.

I do know some spouses prefer a longer deployment vs a bunch of shorter ones. They can get into deployment mode and ride it out verses always going back and forth between their spouse at home and then being gone again. Spouses of special forces service members might have their spouse coming and going all year long, that is just the way their job works.

Within the military as a whole, there are many different deployment patterns, where some branches have longer deployments than others. Some service members also deploy more than others. There isn’t just one standard amount of time a military member will deploy.

If my husband does have to deploy, I would prefer he go for a shorter amount of time. Longer deployments can affect you in ways shorter deployments might not. And deploying over a year brings up other challenges.

But…

That doesn’t mean that shorter deployments are easy, or that there is a minimum amount of time your spouse has to be gone before you are allowed to miss them.

That doesn’t mean that there is a minimum amount of time your spouse has to be gone before you are allowed to be sad about them being away from you.

That doesn’t mean that there is a minimum amount of time for your spouse to be deployed before you are allowed to ask for help or to find support.

The truth is, deployments affect us all in different ways. One military spouse might be having a difficult time with the idea that her spouse is in a war zone, while another might be struggling with solo parenting or the loneliness that comes with being the only person in the home.

The truth is, a three-month deployment for one person could be just as difficult as a six-month deployment to someone else. How a military spouse views and even handles a deployment depends on so many factors.

There is no minimum amount of time to miss your spouse. You just do.

Whether they are gone for a two-week training over AT while in the National Guard, or an extended 15-month deployment while active duty.

Whether they are gone for a three-month school in the Air Force, or a six-month deployment to Africa with the Army.

Whether you are apart for a year while you PCS back to the US early, or you are apart for six weeks waiting to PCS to Germany to join your spouse, literally just waiting on paperwork.

We need to remember this when talking with other spouses. We need to remember what it was like when our spouse first left for basic, or when they left for their first deployment. We have all been through it and we can help each other out.

If you are currently going through a year-long deployment and hear a spouse complain about a three-month deployment, of course, you are going to want to say something. You might wonder why they think it is so hard when you have so much longer to go then they do. But the truth is, a deployment is a deployment and while a three-month deployment may look easy to someone going through a year-long deployment, the deployment is anything but easy.

So even though it can be hard to do sometimes, trust me, I have been there, we should try to put ourselves in other military spouse’s shoes. None of this is easy, and we all might need a little help every now and then. Try to remember what it was like the very first time you had to say goodbye to your spouse and send them overseas.

Compassion goes a long way in our military community. Being aware that others might be struggling is important. Do what you can to help other spouses instead of playing the “who has it worse” game. Our community will be stronger for it.

If you are currently going through a deployment and struggling a bit, you have come to the right place. Check out my blog posts on deployments, or any other part of military life. You can also join my Facebook group or connect with me on social media. You are not alone and you got this!

7 Tips For A Brand New Military Spouse Mom

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7 Tips For A Brand New Military Spouse Mom

Did you just find out you are pregnant? A little nervous about becoming a mom? Not sure how things will go with a spouse in the military?

Here are 7 tips for a brand new military spouse mom:

Get Your Free Breast Pump

If you didn’t already know, you can get a free breast pump with your TRICARE benefit. How does this work? Each TRICARE beneficiary, no matter the type of service member your spouse is, or their rank, is able to receive one breast pump per birth event, which is a birth or adoption.

There are several companies that work with you to easily get your breast pump through TRICARE. You do need to have a prescription, and you will have to stick to their spending limits. You can also receive breast pump accessories through TRICARE. You can read more about that all here.

Figure Out Your Birth Plan

Before giving birth, you should think about how you want things to go. If you want to have a natural birth, if that is important to you at all, you need to plan for having a natural birth. There are a lot of things you can do to prepare from taking natural birth classes, to learning special labor exercises.

In addition to what type of birth you want, you need to figure out who will be with you during the birth. If your spouse is going to be deployed while you give birth, who will be with you instead? Can you ask a friend or would you rather have your mom or sister there? These are some of the things you need to plan than your civilian friends don’t have to think about.

Make Mom Friends

When you have a new baby, you are going to want to meet other moms who also have kids similar ages. There are many different ways to do so. You don’t have to start motherhood alone.

You can go to your local MOPS group, there are even some Military MOPS groups at certain duty stations. You can find a local playgroup, where you meet once a week and allow your baby to “play” while you chat with the other parents. You can also connect with other moms online, from joining a due date group to a local group with moms in your area.

Signing Up For TRICARE

You are going to want to make sure you sign your newborn up for TRICARE as soon as possible. You start by signing them up for DEERs, which stands for Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System. You have 90 days to do so if you are in the states, and 120 days if you are overseas.

After they are in DEERS, they will automatically be put into TRICARE Prime if you are in a Prime Service Area. If not, they will be put into TRICARE Select. You then have 90 days to change to a different plan if you want to.

If you are overseas, they will be automatically enrolled to TRICARE Select and you will have 90 days to change to TRICARE Overseas as long as they are Command Sponsored.

If you are a National Guard or Reserve family, you would need to sign up them for TRICARE Reserve Select if you are using that insurance. You would also need to sign them up for DEERS as active duty does.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to have their social security number when you sign them up for DEERS and can add that later after you receive it. This also applies to adopted children as well as children you are adding to your family. Please visit TRICARE for the most updated information on this as well as other details about the process.

Baby Stuff Everywhere

One of the things about having a new baby is you are going to be tempted to buy all the things. There are so many different products out there, for almost anything you can think of. Think about what you would really need and what will work best for you and your baby.

We always loved having a co-sleeper of some kind, a stroller, and a good baby carrier. Talk to your friends about the products they have loved and used. You can always wait until after they are born for many of the baby items.

Shopping second hand will save you a lot of money. When I was pregnant with my 3rd little boy, I went around on the post-wide garage sale day and found so many things I needed for super cheap. Some baby items only get used a few times and can still be in good condition. Just be careful about buying products like a crib, and car seat second hand and read up on any recalls that might have come out.

The CDC Is Your Best Friend

The CDC, Child Development Center at your duty station should offer some sort of hourly care option. Hourly care saved my life. When we were a new military family, with a young 18-month-old, I signed him up and took him several times a week.

I loved how flexible hourly care was, how he got to play with other kids, and they always seem to give us free hours during a deployment. The CDC saved me during deployments, and any other time I needed a break from my kids, even if it was just to have a few hours to myself.

I know some CDCs might have some issues. I would look into your CDC, talk to other moms, and see if using hourly care could be a good option for you. They might also have regular pre-school type programs if you want something more regular for your child.

Solo Parenting Can Be Rough

Solo parenting is going to be apart of your life if you are a military spouse. Sometimes you might be alone for a few weeks, other times, for a few months. Hopefully, you won’t have to go as long as we did during our first deployment.

Being a solo parent is all about finding what will work for you and your kids. You will have to take the days one at a time. You might also have to give up on some parenting ideals.

However, you will figure everything out. There is a lot of support out there through friends and even your military installation. You don’t have to go through all of this all by yourself. Don’t be afraid to reach out, and remember, you won’t be a solo parent forever.

How long have you been a mom? What are your best tips for the new military spouse mom?

16 Memes For When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

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16 Memes For When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Your spouse left a few months ago and you are not even halfway through this deployment. You told yourself before he left that you were going to rock this deployment. But here you are, struggling, trying to get through.

I have totally been there myself. I have had days where I just wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the end of the month without completely breaking down. I would have to stop and remind myself that I could get through this deployment, that I could handle the time apart. That I could get through this challenge.

Some memes are pretty funny, they make you laugh and can help you feel like you got this. Other memes are more serious, but they hit you hard and can help you not feel as alone as you might feel during your deployment.

Here are 16 memes for when you are struggling through a deployment. Hopefully, they can help you during this part of your military spouse journey.

You don’t have to follow every single piece of deployment advice you hear. Some of the tips might not work for you and your family. That’s okay 🙂

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Staying busy and making friends is really going to go a long way in helping you through a deployment.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yes, some days will definitely be one hour. That’s okay!

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Sometimes you just have to think of the positives. Like the remote. If he is gone, it’s all yours. Unless your kids steal it.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yes! We are military spouses! And we stand by and support the members of our military. That isn’t always easy to go but we love them, so we do it.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Remember, no matter how badly you might be feeling or how hard you are struggling, there are always things you can do to get to a better place.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

The weather during a deployment can really mess with you! Whether it is a snowstorm, hurricane, or endless tornado warnings. Try to prepare yourself before the weather comes, and they will be easier to deal with.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Daydreaming about homecoming always put me in a better mood during a deployment. Homecoming gave me hope.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Wine and chocolate 🙂

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yep, that first month and that last month will take the longest! That’s a fact!

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Sometimes thinking about what you have been through in the past can help you focus on the future.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Just, just keep going. You got this!

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Some days are going to be better than others. Remember, each day is a brand new day and anything can happen. Try not to get stuck on the bad days.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yes! Get out there and try something new. See what happens. You might find a new hobby or make a new friend.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Those phone calls are the best 🙂

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

I know it can be hard to believe sometimes, but each deployment will make you stronger. You will find ways to make it through and will find yourself at the end.

What is your best tip for surviving a deployment???

How To Have a Date Night When Your Spouse is Deployed…in GIFs

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How To Have a Date Night When Your Spouse is Deployed...in GIFs

Your spouse is deployed, but you want to try to plan a date night anyway. This could work you think, even though you are 6,000 miles apart. You need that time with your spouse, and setting up a “date night” over video chat is the best way to do it.

Here is how to have a date night when your spouse is deployed…in GIFs:

Step One: Figure out when they will be able to talk and when you can talk at the same time, for longer than 5 minutes.

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Step Two: Put the date and time in your calendar, knowing it might change.

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Step Three: Put the kids to bed early that night, hopefully, they won’t give you any trouble. Being a solo parent is hard work!

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Step Four: Get ready for your “date.” Do your hair, make-up, and put on a fancy dress, just for fun and to make things more date-like. Pour yourself a glass a wine, everything is perfect!

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Step Five: Put kids back to bed after they keep getting out of bed. Pray they fall asleep before 8 pm, the time you have scheduled for your deployment date.

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Step Six: 8:05 pm. No word from the kids, no word from the husband. Just wait.

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Step Seven: 8:35 pm. Still waiting on your spouse, and you are getting quite sleepy.

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Step Eight: 8:55 pm. Debating on if you should call it a night, figuring he got held up somewhere. That happens, you know. But you can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

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Step Nine: 9:15 pm. Decide that your deployment date is a bust for the night. Get ready for bed, maybe tomorrow will work out better? Check your phone one more time, just in case.

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Step Ten: 9:45 pm. Crawl into bed, close your eyes, and fall asleep.

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Step Eleven: 9:55 pm. The phone starts to ring, he finally made it. Your phone wakes you up, but you don’t care.

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Step Twelve: You finally get to have your deployment date. You are in your pjs, but you don’t care. You finally get to talk to the love of your life and all is well in your world, at least for now.

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As military spouses, we sometimes have to make the best out of what we have, go with the flow, and hold on to the good moments among the more difficult ones.

Have you ever tried to have a date during a deployment?