Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

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5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

Over the years I have heard from military spouses that they are either afraid to make friends with other military spouses, because of how they assume they will be treated, or have even tried to do so and not been successful at it. That they can’t seem to find their people, or that they keep running into others that don’t seem very friendly or welcoming at all.

This sucks.

I strongly believe that you need friends to get through this military lifestyle. But I also know that it isn’t always easy to do. I know that not everyone is friendly and that finding people to connect with can be frustrating.

And maybe part of it is believing things that simply are not true? Maybe part of it is assuming things that are not true about military friendships in general?

While I do think it is possible for someone to find themselves in a place where it seems that there are no friendly people around them, I also know that there are so many of us military spouses out there that are friendly, want to connect and are not the type to insult someone they just met. Trust me.

Maybe you won’t agree with me, maybe your experiences are very different than mine, but here are 5 myths about military friendship that simply are not true that we need to let go of to find friendship in the military community:

The Myth: Spouses are overly concerned about rank.

The Truth: Very few military spouses care what rank your spouse is.

If there is a hesitation, it is usually in good faith, when a spouse worries about being able to include you in everything. For example, if you are the wife of a higher ranking soldier, can you invite your friend, and her entire family to your son’s birthday party at your home? These kinds of situations can be a bit sticky if both of the soldiers are in the same unit.

But in the end, it doesn’t matter who your friends are, or what rank their spouse is. You friend people who you get along with and if someone does want to give you the stink eye because of it? Well, they probably wouldn’t be a good friend anyway.

5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

The Myth: It’s not worth friending someone who is going to pcsing again soon.

The Truth: It is worth it, and can lead to life-long friendships.

While it is so nice to make friends that will live near you for years and years, if you meet the right person, don’t be scared off because they have a PCS date. There are ways to stay connected over the miles if both of you are willing to do so. And you never know when you might end up at the same duty station again in the future.

The Myth: You have to make friends with people your own age.

The Truth: You can form friendships with people who are older and younger than you are.

While it is always nice to have friends around your age, befriending people who are younger or older than you are can be a good thing. You can always learn from someone who is in a different stage of life that you are in.

Don’t get stuck on the actual age of a potential friend. If you are able to connect with them, do so. You will be better for it.

The Myth: If you don’t have kids, you won’t make friends, because everyone in the military community has kids.

The Truth: Not everyone in the military community has kids.

While there are a ton of families with kids in the military community, not everyone has them. Some couples choose to stay childless, others are waiting for a few years to start having children. Some are struggling with infertility, and others have adult children no longer in the home.

There are so many different people in the military community in all different stages of life. Don’t give up on finding friends because you assume everyone is a certain way because that simply isn’t true.

5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

The Myth: You won’t find anyone you can click with.

The Truth: It can take time, but you can find your people.

Finding people you click with won’t always be easy, and sometimes finding new friends can seem near impossible. But, you will be able to find your people if you keep putting yourself out there. Keep trying, be friendly, and use online resources if you need to.

I know being shy can be hard. To walk into a room full of people you don’t know and introduce yourself can be way too scary, but you can find ways to meet others that are comfortable for you.

Here are some ideas on how to work to make friends, and to find your people:

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

The Military Spouse’s Guide to Making Friends in a Social Media World

10 Of The Best Places To Make Friends When You Are A Military Spouse

And make sure to join my blog’s Facebook group. Filled with military spouses of every branch, stationed throughout the US and OCONUS locations.

While everyone’s friendship journey is a little different, try to remember the friends you have met in the past. How did you guys connect? What bonded you?

Make sure you are putting yourself out there, and don’t give up. You can find your people.

What to Remember if Your Spouse Has To Deploy To A Dangerous Place

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What to Remember if Your Spouse Has To Deploy To A Dangerous Place

There have been times when my own husband has had to deploy to a dangerous place. When I heard where he had to go, my heart skipped a beat. How could I handle this? How could I get through? What if he didn’t make it back to us?

For thousands of years, military spouses have had to stand strong as their loved ones went off to war. To wars, they might not even understand. To wars that didn’t always make the most sense. To wars that seem so scary and unpredictable.

How do you deal with a spouse that has to deploy to an active war zone? How do you handle the fact that they are not going to a “safe” place but a more dangerous one? How do you make peace with your spouse going to war?

Here are five things to remember if your spouse has to deploy to a dangerous place:

This is what they are trained for

When you watch as your service member is packing up their bags, remember, this is exactly what they are trained for. That month they spent away from you this summer? This is what they were working on. As a soldier’s wife, I had to accept this, and doing so isn’t easy but once you do, life will become a little bit easier.

War is messy. War is difficult. We have no idea what to expect. We have no clue what is ahead. But we do know that our spouses are in an amazing military and when they have to go, they have to go. And in the end, we know, they are making our world a better place. They are not going into these situations uninformed, they are doing so trained and ready.

You are not alone

You are not the only military spouse having to send their loved one to a dangerous place. You are not. There are so many others in your shoes too. And many who have done this over and over.

You are not the only girlfriend who is crying in their pillow because they know the person they want to spend their life with has to spend six months overseas before that wedding day comes. You are not the only wife who will be scared that their husband might not make it home in time to see their daughter being born. You are not the only one scared of what could happen during the deployment.

There are so many others out there that have a spouse with a dangerous job. They understand how you feel. They know how hard saying goodbye can be. They have been there, and they are willing to help you as you work through your own feelings about your current situation.

Us military spouses are a community. We can support one another, help each other out, and be there when things get scary. We need to depend on one another because fellow military spouses are the ones who know what sending a spouse off to a dangerous place is like.

You can handle this

You can get through this. I don’t care where your spouse has to go, or how long they will be gone. You can get through this. I know it seems challenging and like your world is crashing in. I know when you see how many days they will be gone the deployment seems like forever, but you can handle this. Even if you have to do so one day at a time.

Look through my deployment blog posts, join my Facebook group, do a search for deployment posts on Facebook, and make plans with other military spouse friends. You got this!

This deployment won’t last forever

At the end of the day, when you do say goodbye, whether you had two months to plan or two days, know that the deployment will not last forever. Deployments are temporary. I know when my Grandpa left for WWII, he didn’t know how long he would be away. In the end, he was gone for three years.

These days are easier than that. These days you will get an end date. Even if that date changes, which it probably will, the deployment will eventually end. Remember that during your more difficult days. Remember, this too shall pass.

When your spouse has to deploy, you figure out your new normal. You figure out ways to get through, no matter how long they will be away. The deployment becomes your new normal, but they do eventually end.

The numbers are on your side

No matter where your spouse has to go, in today’s world, most service members come home. They do. While not everyone does, and that breaks our hearts, the odds are your spouse will return to you.

This is something I took a lot of comfort in. I told myself that most likely, my husband would be home with us again soon. That he would make it back. Wars didn’t always use to be this way, for some of them, the odds of coming home were pretty slim, but these days things are a bit different.

As a military spouse, you know that going to war is a part of the deal. That doesn’t mean saying goodbye will be easy or you won’t worry too much. That doesn’t mean that you won’t encounter unexpected challenges or worry you won’t be able to get through them.

As a military spouse, you wake up every morning and work to figure out how you will get through the difficulties that a deployment or future deployment will bring. You will find a way that works for you. You will figure out how to handle knowing where your spouse has to go. While you might never be able to be 100% okay with what they have to do, you will figure out how to support them and make it through your deployment.

How you do deal with your spouse having to go to a dangerous place?

Join my email list and receive a free Guide for your first 30 days of deployment!

The 5 Best Things That Can Happen To A Military Spouse

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The 5 Best Things That Can Happen To A Military Spouse

“You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have…Military life?” Totally! You see as hard as military life can be sometimes, as stressful as this life can be, there are good things that can happen. Great and wonderful things worth talking about. Here is my list of the 5 best things that can happen to a military spouse.

Getting Stationed Where You Want

There is nothing better than getting the notice that you get to PCS where you want to go. Whether that is a beloved overseas location or just being able to live an hour from home. You feel like you won the jackpot. So many times in your spouse’s career you won’t get what you want but when you do it is a good feeling.

So if you do get those orders, throw a party and start researching your new home. Don’t feel guilty and enjoy this. You never know where else the military will send you and this might be the one time you get to be excited about it.

Deployment Gets Cancelled

This hasn’t ever happened to us. It might be a unicorn but deployments will get moved around and sometimes they might even get cancelled. Or your find out your spouse doesn’t have to go. If you are in pre-deployment mode and are trying to come to terms with having to say goodbye, a cancelled deployment will make your day.

You will want to shout from the rooftops and celebrate the fact that things can be magical, even in military life. And if you are one of those spouses that has been waiting for years for your husband to deploy, consider yourselves lucky.

Amazing Housing

For the first two years we were in Germany we were in a two bedroom stairwell apartment. It was a nice little home but we outgrew the space quickly. We moved to another post in Germany and were given a four bedroom duplex. I remember when we first got there and I walked through the house, I cried.

The house was lovely and so spacious compared to what we had before. We had our own laundry room and two yards. It was amazing. If you have ever been in not so great military housing you know how awesome it can be when you love your new housing. Loving your home you really didn’t have much of a say in is a great feeling.

Making Best Friends

When you go through a deployment with someone or spend a lot of time with them trying to navigate the waters of military life, you become close. Closer than you would otherwise. You will make some of your best friends during your time as a military spouse.

They might move away, you might move away, but you will always have your memories of the time you spent together. You will always have a friend to visit or to call when you are having a bad day. Whenever I ask myself if it was a good idea for my husband to join the military, I think about the people I have met during this life and know I would not be the same without them.

Finding Purpose in The Military Spouse Community

Whether you are a big part of the FRG, whether you found a great career on post or whether you are the neighborhood planner, finding purpose in the military community is a great feeling. Knowing that you are able to give back and help people is such a good thing.

How you find that purpose will look a little different for everyone but that doesn’t mean you can’t find it. You might feel lost when you first move to a new duty station but as time goes on you will figure it out. And once you have figured it out, it is one of the best feelings in the world.

What amazing things have happened to you during your time as a military spouse?

You Know You’re a Modern Military Spouse When….

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Military spouses have been around for a very long time. While to a certain extent “if the military wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one” is true, we have come a long way in what we have available to us as military spouses.

My grandma said goodbye to my grandpa for three whole years. The only way they could communicate was through letters. Think about that! They had to number them, so they knew what order they were written in. I love a good handwritten letter, but I can’t imagine that being the only way I could talk with my spouse, for years at a time.

So us military spouses today, I suppose you could call us modern. The millennial military spouse might work except some of us are a little too old for that title 😉 There is something different about this time period, and being a military spouse will look different in the future I am sure.

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

So here how you know you are a modern military spouse…

~ You gave birth with your husband by your side, on your iPad, over video chat.

~ You make easy dinners with your Instant Pot or Air Fryer.

~ You met your husband online, while he was at his first duty station.

~ Your wife serves, and you stay home with the kids.

~ You don’t have to take all four of your children shopping by yourself as you are a big fan of having your groceries delivered.

~ You take your kids to the park so that you can get yourself a Starbucks, which is right next door.

~ You can take a call from your husband overseas from wherever you happen to be at the moment, no waiting at home until they call.

~ Netflix binge-watching is your favorite sport.

~ You take 1,000 photos whenever you do something fun, and your parents in California see them minutes later.

~ It’s been two days since you talked to your spouse and can’t believe it has been that long!

~ You learned about your future duty station, from a group of strangers you never met in a Facebook group.

~ You earned your BA in English while your spouse was in South Korea, all from the comfort of your home.

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

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~ You love or even hate your FRG, but you do in fact have one.

~ You serve too, as you and your spouse met during basic training and now you are a dual military couple.

~ You have been guilty of oversharing on social media, but at least you are aware of the rules for OPSEC.

~ Amazon Prime is your favorite Transformer.

~ You depend on the friendships of others you have never met because they get exactly what a deployment is all about.

~ You have never met your boss in person. You live in Ohio, and they are in New York.

~ You can honestly say apps make the deployment a little easier.

~ You are in charge of the bills, which makes sense, since sometimes your spouse is deployed.

~ You didn’t have to pay for your breast pump, TRICARE gave you one after you had your baby.

~ You are a SAHM, a WAHM or you work outside the home. You do whatever works for you and your family because you can.

~ You wake up every morning, supporting your service member. Through the deployments, the PCS moves, and anything military life throws at you.

What makes you a modern military spouse???

21 Budgeting Tips for Military Families For a Better Financial Life

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21 Budgeting Tips for Military Families For a Better Financial Life

Money money money! Money can be quite a hot topic. When it comes to our finances, we want our money to work for us but sometimes that is a difficult thing to do. As a military family, you may be feeling pressure from a PCS that cost you a little too much, or the loss of a job or other source of income you were depending on.

Although there is a 5.2% pay raise coming in 2024 for members of the military, having and sticking to a budget is super important. It is the best way to know where your money is going, and how much you actually have to spend.

Here are 21 budgeting tips for military families for a better financial life:

1. The #1 budgeting tip would be to of course have a budget. You need to know exactly how much money you and your spouse are bringing in and exactly what you will be spending your money on, including how much you will put in savings. This will give you a clear picture of your finances.

2. Keep a detailed record of all of your spending. Those little trips to Target can add up. Keeping track of what you are spending your money on is a must.

3. Set some financial goals. Talk with your spouse about what you want to do in the future. Do you want to save for a house? A new car? Pay off debt? Talk about what your focus will be.

4. Compare the cost of housing. While you might want to live off post, would living on post save you more money in the future? Is that savings worth it? Would living on your military instillation allow you to save for your house that much sooner?

5. Remember your budget when shopping for groceries. The food budget can get quickly out of hand without proper planning. What are your options for grocery shopping? Can the Commissary save you money? What about clipping coupons?

6. Watch the eating out. While eating out can be a lot of fun, it’s also really expensive. Even fast food can cost a family $50 a trip. Yikes!

7. Use military discounts. Yes, you can save between 10-30% at places that offer military discounts. Check out my Big List of Military Discounts for ideas.

8. Shop thrift stores and consignment shops. You can find all sorts of things from clothing to books to toys at thrift stores and consignment shops. You can also take your old items to consignment shops to make a little extra money. Check and see what is available in your own city and plan a shopping trip.

9. Look for low-cost and free things to do at your duty station. Most duty stations have events going on throughout the year. They can be a lot of fun and you can find some free things to do with your kids.

10. Is your spouse deployed? Are they bringing home extra money? Make sure you make a plan of what you will do with it. Ideally, you can save and pay off debt. However, you may need to budget for extra expenses such as having a baby or getting ready for a PCS. Talk things over so you are on the same page.

11. Coupon. Use coupons at the grocery store, when you go out to eat, and at different stores you need to go to. Most people get coupons in the mail. See which ones work for you and your family and trade with friends.

12. Learn new skills. When it comes to keeping up your home, see what you can do yourself. Use Youtube to get ideas on affordable projects.

13. Review your subscription services. Did you sign up for one when it was only $5.99 a month and now it’s double that? Are you paying $15 a month for a streaming service your family doesn’t really watch anymore? Do an audit of your all your subscriptions to see if you can cut any and to make sure you are only paying for the ones you really want.

14. Save a bit from each paycheck for birthdays, Christmas, and other holidays you may need extra money for. When the time comes you will have money to spend and won’t have to stress as much.

15. Check into side gigs. Can you Door Dash? Drive for Uber? Mow lawns? There are lots of little side jobs you can add if you are able to in order to make some extra money.

16. Look into Financial Readiness classes at your duty station. For example, the Army’s Financial Readiness Program (FRP) is available at every Army post. It provides classes and counseling on saving money, investing, getting out of debt, and more.

17. Look into The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. Because of the act you may reduce some of your debt’s interest rates to 6%, postpone a foreclosure, defer your taxes, get protection against eviction, and more.

18. Work to get out of debt. Pay more than the minimum and avoid using credit cards when you can.

19. Use banking tools for extra savings. If you bank with USAA, they have a fun savings tool where they take a random amount from your checking account between $1-$9 a few times a week and put it in your savings account. This adds up and before you know it you will have $100 saved. They also send your text messages with updates, and little fun facts and jokes.

20. Use your library. Libraries have so much to offer the community. From books, to movies, to free events. Don’t sleep on what your local library has to offer.

21. Have an emergency savings fund. $1,000 is a good amount to shoot for. You want to have something you can use in case a car breaks down, something needs to be fixed in your house, or any other extra expense comes up.

As military families, we are used to the unknown. But, we should know where our money is going and how we are spending it. That way we can work to achieve our goals and live the life we want to live.

What are your favorite budgeting tips?

When The Towers Fell

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When The Towers Fell

We didn’t know what that day would bring. Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, started out with clear skies and so much promise.

Kids off to school.

Mom and dad off to work.

People getting to their jobs, some running late, some arriving early.

As the morning began, we had no idea what was planned. We had no idea others wanted to hurt us. We had no idea the world was about to change.

At 8:30 that morning, some wondered what they would have for lunch that day, or maybe if they would be late picking up the kids from school. Some may have thought about their birthday party the weekend before, or what movie they would go to see the next. A new military wife was just getting used to the new PX, and how the Commissary worked, she wasn’t thinking too much of her husband going to war.

Then at 8:45 am…that all changed as the first plane flew into the World Trade Center.

And a little after 9:00 am, we knew, this wasn’t some random accident when the second plane hit. Someone was doing this. Someone was attacking us and life would be forever changed.

At 9:45 am, a plane flew into the Pentagon. For so many of us, this was surreal. Something we had only seen in disaster movies. Something that didn’t really happen in real life.

And then the towers fell, first the south tower, then the north tower, we could not believe this was happening. We could not believe what we were watching.

As the moments went by, we were glued to our television sets. A college student, wondering what this meant for the US, for the World. A young mom, rocking her baby girl, wondering what this meant for her future. A military wife, knowing in her heart that this was the start of something that would change the military forever.

And as we waited and wondered and prayed…

As we hoped and cried and reached out...

As we listened to our leaders try to explain what was going on…

We tried to make sense of all of this. We tried to make sense of what we were watching. We tried to understand what going on but all we saw was a tragedy. One we never would have expected.

Almost 3,000 people lost their lives that day, right here in America. The unthinkable was a reality. A new threat that we still have today. Terrorism wasn’t so front and center as it is now.

Before 9/11, we knew terrorism existed. We knew what terrorism was, but not on this level. Not right here in front of us.

In the days and weeks after 9/11, America came together in a way I had never seen before and haven’t seen since. I remember gathering at a local church, packed with people, to pay our respects, to mourn together, to not go through this alone.

We all felt like family. We were all in this together. We had to be, that was the only way we could get through it.

And now, all these years later, we still think of those who lost their lives on that day, and the days after. From the first responders to those who serve in the military.

We think of their loved ones, those who mourn on a personal level. Those who never thought that saying goodbye that morning would be the last time. And for those who never 100% knew what happened to their family members.

We think of the gold star spouses, and family members, fighting the war on terror. We think of those who are still getting deployed, and who are still fighting for our freedom, against those who want to hurt us.

We can’t forget those who went into the rubble, to help find survivors. Those that were a caring heart in a sea of craziness. Those who worked tirelessly to help those in need.

“What separates us from the animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met.” – Author David Levithan

As we head into the 22nd anniversary of this tragedy, I will say a prayer for those who are still missing their loved ones. For those who were shaken by what happened in a very personal way. For those who were too young to remember, but still, feel the effects.

I will say a prayer for our military, those who have deployed, and those who will. For their families, and those that love them. For the future and the hope that this enemy can be defeated someday.

And while the years will pass, and time will go on, I hope we never forget the spirit and the love that was shown in our time of tragedy, as our country came together, and as we tried to make sense of everything that happened on that September day. I know I never will.

22 Years Since Everything Changed

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22 Years Since Everything Changed

22 years have passed since the day the towers fell.

When people came together, and we stood together as a country. When we realized that loving our neighbor was more important than any debates we may have had in the past. When we couldn’t figure out why people hated the US so much that they would take so many lives on that one fall day.

On September 11th, the military changed…

There is a pre-9/11 military experience and a post 9/11 one. So many have joined the military because of what happened that day.Going to war changed because of that day.

The US went to war less than 18 months after the attack. A war my husband and a lot of your spouses have also fought in. A war that some think should never have happened. A war that might have been the best way to handle a situation we have never had to handle as a country before.

We can’t forget that we are still going to war and service members are still deploying.

We are still fighting the war on terrorism, no matter who says that it is over on the nightly news. Spouses are still saying goodbye to their loved ones, heading anywhere they are told to go. And we, as American citizens, need to remember that.

On September 11th, traveling changed…

Going to the airport is a different experience in our post 9/11 world. Before 9/11, you could go through security to say goodbye to your family members, regardless of if you had a ticket or not. You could greet your loved ones right when they got off the plane. I have so many memories of doing this with my own grandparents.

We have to take our shoes off and we have to be careful about what liquids we bring. People pack differently because of that day. Every time I get on an airplane, I am reminded about what happened.

I think about American Airlines Flight 11, United Airlines Flight 175, American Airlines Flight 77 and United Airlines Flight 93. About how those people got on their flights, without knowing what could happen. About how now we know, that what happened is a possibility.

As a military spouse, I know what military families have had to give up in the war against terrorism.

We understand how serious terrorism can be and why our spouses have to serve in certain parts of the world. However, emotionally saying goodbye to them can be so difficult, especially since our country has been at war for so long.

22 Years…

I still remember 9/11 like it wasn’t that long ago. I had just started my last semester of college. Being on the west coast, I woke up to the news. I got ready for classes and drove the 20 minutes to my school.

Back in 2001, the internet was something you used on your computer. We did not get the news as quickly as we do today. Because of that, not everyone in my first class had heard the news. Those that had told them.

We talked about what happened. We talked about possible war and what that would mean. All of it seemed so surreal. It still seems surreal.

Time has moved on…

In 2002, I got married and had three children. They were born after this tragedy. Anyone under the age of 22 was not born yet, some young adults were too young even to remember. Our country has moved on in some ways and in other ways, we have not.

The threats are still real. The military is still fighting, and we can’t ever forget those who died on that day. Their stories, their families, and the strength that each one of them showed.

You might be too young to remember, maybe you were just a child and all you know about that day was that your parents watched the news instead of letting you watch cartoons.

Maybe you were like me, in college, getting ready to start your adult life, going out into the world so different than the one you started your college years in.

Maybe you were a young military bride, whose husband just joined the Army, assuming a peacetime enlistment.

Maybe you were pregnant with your first child when your husband who had been debating enlisting decided that now was the time.

I pray that as time moves on, the world becomes a safer place. That the evil that comes from these types of attacks can be stopped. That we will never forget that tragic day in September…one that changed us forever.

Do you remember 9/11? What were you doing the morning of 9/11?

Stop Saying That We Knew What We Were Getting Into

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Stop Saying That We Knew What We Were Getting Into

“You knew what you were getting into”

If you have been a military spouse for any length of time, you have heard someone say this. This phrase comes from civilians, military spouses, and military service members. I don’t like it.

My response to this is, no, we didn’t know what we were getting into.

You see, us military spouses, we know there will be time apart, we don’t know how lonely that can be.

How quiet the house can get when you are the only one in it. How you will crave the little daily chats, you used to have with your spouse, and how sad you can get when you think about those moments.

We know we will have to move often, but we don’t know how hard it will be to leave someone that is like a sister to us.

The person we spent last Christmas with. The neighbor who helped us when our son was in the hospital. The friend that we could talk to about anything. The person that became closer to us than anyone else ever had.

We know there will be deployments, but we don’t know how they might break us.

How we might get so overwhelmed with them that we can’t imagine going through another one, even though we know that with our spouse’s job, that will be our reality.

We know there might be children, but we can’t know what their struggles might be or what having one parent gone all the time will be like.

We can’t predict what raising a child on the autism spectrum will be like when your other half is gone for a year at a time. We can’t know how drained we will feel as a SAHM, even though that is what we always wanted to do.

We know that we might have to sacrifice our careers for theirs, but we don’t know how hard that can be or how long we have to wait on our own career goals.

We can’t know if we will be in a state where we can work using our degree or if we will have to settle for something else because that is all there is. And then have to deal with the emotional toll of all of that.

We know this life will be a hard one but what that looks like, how we will be able to get through the difficult days, and what the years our spouse will serve will look like is a surprise.

Life is filled with surprises. This is true for everyone, military or not. What you thought your life might be like will look different than what happens.

No one knows what they are getting into. No one can predict that. No one can be 100% ready for what this military life brings.

Even if we did know what we signed up for, that doesn’t mean we can’t vent a little on our more challenging days, cry into our pillows when we just can’t take anymore, or simply ask for help because everything is just too overwhelming at times.

Before you say, “You knew what you were getting into,” think about your own life and all the ways things turned out differently than you thought they would.

Be compassionate to themilitary spousethat is having a more difficult time. Understand that everyone handles deployments differently. Know that some of us ask for help because we are trying to better our situations, not because we want to fail.

Military spouses are strong but only because we have had to become that way. Through trials, challenges, and the surprises that military life brings.

What has been your biggest military life challenge?

Don’t forget to check outThe Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and Moreby Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life andMrs Navy Mama. Your guide for learning about military life.