Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

The Deployment Ache

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The Deployment Ache

There is something that happens when you are away from your spouse for a period of time. Something that just isn’t there when they are home. It’s an ache. I am not sure how else to describe it. It isn’t just feeling sad. It isn’t just missing someone.

The Deployment Ache

It’s an ache. The deployment ache.

If you have ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know what I am talking about. The ache is the feeling when something isn’t quite right. You could be having a very good day, enjoying everything in front of you, and still feel that deployment ache. The ache doesn’t just go away because you are happy.

The ache is something you can’t control. The ache is there because you are not with the person you love the most. It’s there because something is missing and nothing can take the place of being with that person.

You can ignore that feeling for a while but it is still always there. Reminding you that your life is not quite complete in the way that it should be. That something important is missing.

I hated the deployment ache.

The ache was the hardest part of the deployment and sometimes you could see the ache on my face. Friends told me they could see such a huge change after my husband got home. Even if I was smiling when he was gone, it just wasn’t as big as when he was home.

When he was home, the ache was gone. That feeling wasn’t there anymore. It was the difference between being deployed and not being deployed.

The deployment ache is when you put the kids to bed and all you can think to do is cry yourself to sleep because you are not sure you can handle one more day.

The deployment ache is when you hear that your husband will be deployed a little bit longer than you had thought and there is nothing you can do about it.

The deployment ache is when you realize they will miss your birthday, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day for the third year in a row.

When your spouse is gone, you tell yourself that once they get home everything is going to be okay again. Then they return, you have a honeymoon period, and then life sets in. They go back to work, the kids need you, life gets busy and semi-normal again.

You have a bad day and you can be surprised about how you feel. During the deployment, you told yourself you would never have a bad day again as long as your spouse was back home with you.

The reality? Life is hard for everyone sometimes, military or not. Life gets complicated and you will have your good and bad days. However, when your spouse is home you are not going to have the deployment ache. And that is something to look forward to.

Because when they are home, the ache is gone and you can focus on everything else going on in your lives instead. You can talk to your spouse often, you can work on issues the two of you are dealing with, you can parent together and you can be a couple, in the ways you hoped you would be when you got married.

The ache is gone and you can move forward with your lives until the next time they would have to go away.

Have you felt the deployment ache before? How do you deal with it?

Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

Five Tips for When You First Become A Military Spouse

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If you are new to Military life you might be worried or curious about all things military. Everything can be so overwhelming at first. I remember those days well.

I wasn’t really sure what to think about this new life. I was in a whole new world and I wasn’t sure how the military worked. I had a lot of questions and a lot of worries.

Over time, I started to figure things out. More seasoned spouses helped me along the way. And with time, things started to make a little more sense.

Five Tips for When You First Become A Military Spouse

Here are five tips to remember when you first become a Military Spouse:

You Don’t Have to Know Everything Right Away

PCS? CYS? TDY? What does all of that mean and what does it have to do with you? The Military has a certain way of doing things and the logic usually doesn’t always make sense and there are SO MANY ACRONYMS!

Don’t feel like you have to figure everything out right away. I am still trying to figure out how things work and I have been an Army wife for over 15 years.

Try Not to Freak Out Over the Little Things

This can be difficult to take. Not something I am very good at doing either. But try not to freak out over the little things.

Maybe your spouse has to work late or gets called into work unexpectedly. That is hard but, remember, that this is a part of the job. In the end, those little annoyances can really get to you.

Try not to let them. Try to let them go and if you can’t, talk to a friend who can relate.

Know That Military Life Isn’t Fair

Sometimes you just get dealt an unlucky number with deployments or the unit your spouse gets put in. During our first deployment, we were the only unit in the brigade where soldiers couldn’t come home on extra leave for a birth. While this did not affect us as we had our baby right before R&R, I know how frustrated others were. This felt very unfair to a lot of people.

Sometimes the people who leave first are the last to return. A lot of what happens doesn’t make any sense, it is just the way things are in the military. Military life just isn’t fair.

You Will Make Some of Your Best Friends as a Military Spouse

You will find people to connect with and get through deployments with. You will spend Christmas and other holidays together, cry when the deployments start, and cheer for each other during the homecomings.

You will have to eventually say goodbye but your bonds and your memories will last forever. Going through any stressful period of time with others makes things a bit easier. Finding friends who understand our military life is one of the best things you can do.

Not Everyone Handles Everything the Same Way

This is important to remember. Everyone handles separation differently. Everyone handles pcsing differently.

We are different people and certain parts of Military life might be harder for others. Keep this in mind if something is a little easier for you. You can help those around you who might be having a difficult time getting through.

You might be someone who can completely handle giving birth without your husband while a friend might feel that is nearly impossible. You can support her as she goes through that situation. Be her rock and in return, she will be there for you when you need someone to lean on.

Going from a non-military life to a military one can be challenging. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other spouses and ask questions when you don’t quite understand something. Most people are happy to help a new military spouse out 🙂

One Long Deployment

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One Long Deployment

They walk away, they have to. The time has come for them to leave.

To deploy. To head overseas. To do what they have trained to do.

We stay behind, we know we have to. We have to stay strong, even if that is hard. We have to be the ones at home, holding everything together.

You second guess in moments like these. Should he have really joined the military? Should I have really married into this?

As you stand at the start of one long deployment, you wonder how you even got there…

Time goes by, and the days pass. Cross one off, then another. One week at a time.

You hold it together. You have to. For the kids. For yourself. For them.

You talk every other day, sometimes every day, sometimes you have to go longer.

You remind yourself that things are much better now. You remind yourself having a spouse off at war used to mean just letters, now you have so much more. But even that reminder doesn’t make them seem closer.

As you start off that one long deployment, you find yourself in a weird place, and wonder if anyone else can understand.

Can they understand the deployment ache? The feeling that something is missing, even if you are having a good day? Do they understand how that feels?

Can they understand the sadness that can come, knowing this is your life, knowing there will be more deployments?

Can they understand how yes, you did choose this, but no, you really had no idea what military life would be like? That you really didn’t know how your emotions would play out?

As you get through that one long deployment, you wonder if there is anyone else you can connect with, anyone else who is going through the same thing?

You go to the FRG, you go to the local playgroups, you join a book club. At first you are not so sure. Can these other spouses relate? And then you find that yes, some of them can.

You make plans, you are going to help each other through. You find your people. Others who get deployments. Others who can truly understand.

You find yourself in a place of almost contentment. Yes, your spouse is gone. Yes, they are deployed, but you are finding your way.

This one long deployment is halfway over, and you feel as though you have gone through so many different phases since they left. You were heartbroken, you were sad, and now you have found a place of peace, but can you stay that way?

As time moves on, you feel the up and down of the deployment. The good days, the bad days. The hard days, the easier ones.

You have worries. Will they get extended like they did last time? Will they happen to come home early? Will they be changed when they do come home?

Staying busy is key, you know this, but some days, you don’t want to do anything. You want to take a day off. Take a day off of a deployment? That’s not even possible.

As you round each corner, you think about how much this one long deployment has taught you. How much you have learned. How you have grown.

You are more independent now. You have figured out how to be, because it was the only way.

You have more strength than you did before. What seemed impossible is now possible. And you hope some of that is rubbing off on your kids.

You look towards the finish line and wonder what homecoming will really be like. Is homecoming like the videos you have seen on the news? Is it as happy as they want you to think it is? What if there is more below the surface?

And then you find yourself at the end of this one long deployment. You have less than a month, then less than a week and time stands still. The calendar doesn’t want to move.

And you feel ready, so ready for this deployment chapter to be over in your life. You are so ready for normal again. To be a full family.

You know that you have both changed. You knew that going in. And you hope and pray the first few days, weeks, and months together can be a time of healing.

You get together with your friends. You make homecoming signs. You share your after deployment plans.

And then the day comes, the one you have been waiting for, this one long deployment is finally over. You have your homecoming outfit, that’s ready, but are you? You are full of emotions and as nervous as you were before your first date.

You get the kids ready, and head in your car. You can’t eat, you can’t do much of anything but focus on the task ahead. You park the car and head to the gym to wait.

And you wait…as if you haven’t done enough waiting but this time the waiting is different. This time you are waiting just a short amount of time, maybe a few hours. You made it through months apart, you can handle a few hours.

You are thankful your friends are surrounding you, even if some of their spouses already made it home. Being in the last group is difficult, but you did it and now you are here.

As you sit and wait, you think about this one long deployment and everything you have been through. You think about your highs and lows. You think about the good and the bad.

And then it is time. It is time. It is time. It is time.

Everyone stands up, with smiles on their faces. The doors open and it is time!

You look for them, in the sea of green. You find them, so serious, still in soldier mode.

They see you, you know they do but they can’t react, not yet. And you wait and then you don’t have to anymore. And then they are in your arms again. And you did it…

You survived this one long deployment. You made it to the finish line. You found a way through and got to the other side.

How To Keep Kids Busy This Summer, Even When You Are On a Budget

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Summer is here and you might be trying to figure out what to do with your kids for their time off from school. Yes, there are camps and classes that you could sign them up for, but those all cost money, sometimes a lot of it.

If you are on a tighter budget, you have to be careful about how much you spend during the summer. You need to find cheap and free ways to keep them busy.

You really don’t have to spend a fortune each summer just keep your kids entertained. There is a lot you can do in your home and in your own community without having to break the bank. Take a look at some of these ideas, and see what works for your family.

How To Keep Kids Busy This Summer, Even When You Are On a Budget

Water Fun

Kids love water and there are many ways to get your kids in water without spending too much. A splash park is a great way to spend some time in the hot sun. You might find one at a park or even a shopping center.

Bring a sack lunch, plenty of towels, and your kids, and get ready to enjoy a fun-filled afternoon staying cool for very little cost. Invite some friends and have a fun playdate.

If you have a community pool you can use free of charge, take advantage of that. If you have to pay, check and see about a summer pass. Sometimes buying one of those will save you a lot of money all summer long. Our city pool offers a military discount on a pool pass.

If nothing else you can set up a sprinkler or a kiddie pool in your own yard.

Nature Hikes

Kids love to explore and what better way to do that than on a nature hike. Make sure to put on your bug spray, bring lots of water, and bring your camera for photos along the way. Check with your local park system to see if they have any guided hikes during the summer. Make sure you stay on the trails and don’t go anywhere you feel is unsafe.

You can also go on a more casual walk around your neighborhood or other community location. If your kids are old enough, have them bring their bike or a scooter. You can spend the whole day out walking and riding bikes. Just don’t forget to apply the sunscreen.

Cheap Movies

If you have a dollar theater, make sure to check out what kid’s movies they have playing. If you don’t, your regular theater might have a special kids program during the summer with free or $1 movies. They might be older ones that your kids have already seen, but it can give them the movie experience without having to spend too much.

You might also check and see if your city has a movies in the park night where they show a movie on a big screen after the sun goes down. That can be a lot of fun for everyone in the family. They are usually free and you would just need to bring a picnic dinner for your family as well as a nice blanket or chairs to sit on.

Camping

If you are wanting to take your family on vacation, camping is the most affordable option, assuming you already have a lot of the camping gear. If you don’t, you might be able to rent from a Gear to Go on your military installation. Campsites are not too expensive and you can have a lot of fun being in the outdoors. If you don’t want to leave your home, you could also camp out in the backyard.

Host a Play Date

Why not host a play date in your home once a week? You could also do a themed playdate. Such as water or food fun.

Meet up with other parents and plan to rotate houses during the summer. Your kids will love the playtime with friends and you can have some adult time with the parents.

You could go on Pinterest and find some fun crafts for the kids to do. There are plenty of ideas out there. Once a week you could also host a craft day. Everyone who comes can bring the supplies and you can all work on them together.

Annual Passes

A yearly pass will cost you money upfront, but it might be worth doing so. You can get passes to the zoo, science center, amusement park, or the local gym. Find out what would be best for your own family and think about how often you would go.

If you know you want to spend a lot of time at the zoo, getting a pass to the zoo will allow you to go for “free” all summer long. Check for specials or discounts before you pay for the pass. Also, make sure to check for blackout dates so you don’t plan a trip on a day you won’t be able to get in with your pass.

As you can see, there are quite a lot of activities you can do during the summer without having to break the bank. What would you add to this list?

What Memorial Day Really Means to the Military Community

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What Memorial Day Really Means For the Military Community

Memorial Day…a day for a BBQ, spending time in the pool, or an extra day off work?

Yes, but…

For the Military community, Memorial day is a little different.

We do have BBQs, and we do spend time in the pool and have an extra day off work, but we also remember those who have lost their lives, in a very personal way.

Each of us knows a Gold Star family. I know many of them personally. Friends who became widows during our past deployments, friends who have received that knock on the door, friends who will never be the same.

They are who I think about on this day.

  • I think about how we all said goodbye to our husbands together, yet some did not return.
  • I think about my husband telling a fellow soldier what it was like to be a Dad, only to have that soldier lose his life the very next day. His wife was pregnant with their first baby.
  • I think about reading that email about the soldier who died and realizing I knew that last name. The name belonged to a friend of mine.
  • I think about hearing my husband talk about his buddy. How they had a lot in common. How he was a family guy too. And then receiving a phone call while I was in Vienna of all places, that he had also been killed in action.
  • I think about the fence outside the elementary school in Germany with the photos of those who we had lost during that long 15-month deployment.
  • I think about the little children that will never know their own fathers because they died before they were old enough to be able to remember them.
  • I think about the older children that still feel the loss so greatly years later.
  • I think about the Moms sending their children off to war only to get the knock on the door that they were not coming home.
  • I think about the end of a Memorial service when they call for the soldier and he does not answer. I think about how heartbreaking that really is.
  • I think about the table that sits empty at every Military Ball.

This is what Memorial Day means to the military community. We can’t help it. As a Military spouse, I have experienced all of this, and so have so many others.

Memorial Day is real life, not just something that happened 50 years ago. Memorial Day hits us hard, in so many different ways. Memorial Day is a time to reflect and remember, and mourn for those who have paid the ultimate price.

So when you are enjoying your day off, enjoying a BBQ, spending time with your family and friends, please remember the Gold Star families who are missing someone.

Remember what they have been through and what they have given up.

Say a prayer and remember that freedom is just not free. Freedom always comes with a cost.

When Their Job Comes First

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The Military Has to Come First

We hear so often not to put your job before family. We hear so often that you should find a family-friendly workplace. We hear so often that these things are important, and they are, they really are.

But…

For the military spouse, married to a service member, their job has to come first. Sometimes at the worst time. Sometimes at the time you really need them.

The truth of the military is that the Army, or the Navy, or the Marine Corps, or whatever the branch has to come first.

The truth is, the military shakes up your life when you don’t want anything to do with the military at that moment.

When Their Job Comes First

The truth is, your spouse might have to go, go overseas, fight in a war, and they will have to go.

No matter how much they love you.

No matter how much they want to stay.

No matter how many other times they have had to be away.

When you married your service member, you knew they would be gone, you knew they wouldn’t always be with you. But the reality that the military does come first isn’t always easy to take.

Sometimes a deployment will come, right after a child get diagnosed with autism.

Sometimes a deployment will come, right after a miscarriage or other loss.

Sometimes a deployment will come right when a spouse is trying to heal from something that they feel they need their spouse there for.

Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, but there isn’t a lot you can do about that. The job has to come first.

There are times when things can be changed. There are compassionate reassignments. Commands can hold people back for a few months from a deployment. They can send them home early in some circumstances. But none of that is promised. None of that is 100%.

And trying to come to terms with everything isn’t easy. Trying to be “okay” with the military coming first isn’t easy. Figuring out ways to get through these difficult times isn’t easy.

Here are a few things you can do to help when you know the job has to come first.

Find a good support system

Basically, find your people. Both online and IRL. Find people who support you, and love you. They will be the ones to help you through.

Remember why they joined

When you are feeling really down about everything military related, remember why they joined the military in the first place. Remember why they enlisted. Thinking about all of that can put things in perspective.

Make a detailed plan

You might be going through something you need your spouse there for, but the military has to come first. So, what will you do about it? Who will you go to instead? You will need to come up with a plan.

Figure out what will make things easier for you. That could be hiring a babysitter once a week, starting a new workout plan, or creating a list of services you can call when the need arises.

Since we are all different people, our lists might not look the same, but making a good list of how you will get through this time is important.

Remember, even though the job or the mission has to come first, there are also periods of time when the family does. Maybe this is block leave after a deployment, or having your soldier stay home a few extra weeks to be there for the birth of your baby.

There are times when they will be home early and have days off. Remembering these moments isn’t always easy, especially when you are not currently living them but, they will come again, I promise.

What is the best way to handle the disappointment of when the job has to come first? What do you do to help you through?

10 Things to Remember, When You Are Married to a Service Member

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Are you married to a service member? Going to be? Military marriage can be very difficult sometimes. There are extra stresses those who are not associated with the military don’t have to worry about. Here are 10 things to remember as you start your life together:

10 Things to Remember, When You Are Married to a Service

This post does contain affiliate links!

Be there for each other- This is the #1 thing you can do. Just be there. Over the course of your marriage, each of you will need each other in different ways. Checking in with one another is a great way to learn what is going on with your spouse and figuring out what they need from you at the moment.

Don’t assume anything- Assuming will get you into trouble. If you are not sure about something, just ask. This is your spouse, you should feel comfortable doing so. This is why communicating is so important.

I think a lot of our struggles over the years have come from assuming different things about each other. The more we talk about how we are feeling about what is going on in our lives, the better we can move forward.

Don’t get jealous- This is hard, especially if your spouse is gone a lot. Other people get to be in the same place as your spouse and you don’t get to be. Try not to let it bother you.

Talk things out if something doesn’t seem right. Remember, they are married to you and that is who they will be coming home to as soon as it is possible to do so.

Know your love languages– If you haven’t read the book already, the Five Love Languages is a great way to get to know your spouse. My husband and I have different love languages. Knowing this makes things a bit easier because I understand how he feels loved and how he shows love back. They also have a Five Love Languages Military Edition.

Put yourself in their shoes- This is always a good thing to do. You never know what someone is going through or if you would act the same way if you were in their shoes. When your spouse is deployed, try to imagine what they are dealing with. To have to leave home for so long, trusting you to handle everything from children to finances to your home. It is a strange thing to think about sometimes.

Remember to trust– I really believe that in order to get through a deployment you need to have a lot of trust. I see trust as this invisible thread that connects you. You just have to trust your spouse even when they are across the world. Without that trust, everything falls apart.

Hold hands- Keep holding hands, kiss often, give each other hugs. Doing this will bring your closer and remind you of when you first met. This is a simple way to show your spouse you are still in it with them.

Date- Regular dates with your spouse are a great idea but they are not always possible. Sometimes they are just gone too much or working all the time. Other times you have small children and finding a babysitter feels impossible.

Do what you can to date your spouse. Make a lunch date while kids are in school, plan a nice dinner after the kids go to bed, go on a walk with your baby in a stroller. Think about the different ways you can have a date even if it isn’t on a regular basis.

Tell them you love them- Don’t ever stop telling your spouse that you love them. Say these words before you hang up the phone and before you go to bed each night. Write them a love letter. Speak their love language so they always know that you care.

Be silly with each other- Laugh, flirt, be silly when you can. There is something about laughing together with my husband after all these years that I just love. Even through all the stresses in life, I am thankful we can still laugh with each other.

What is your best marriage tip?

Feeling Lonely When Your Spouse Goes Off To War

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My son was just about 22 months old when my husband first went off to war.

I was pregnant with our 2nd child and had no clue what to expect. Deployments were a whole new world for me. Luckily I had a group of other wives whose husbands were in the same Company as mine. This made saying goodbye a little easier.

I remember after the men got on the buses. Sitting with a few other wives. Waiting to see them drive by so we could wave one more time.

As we sat there, we really didn’t know what we were really dealing with. We didn’t know then how hard the time apart would be, how long the deployment would last, and what the next 15 months would look like.

Feeling Lonely When Your Spouse Goes Off To War

We had no idea how lonely we would feel. 

I went home to my house with my little boy and we started the deployment. At first, the deployment felt manageable. My mom was going to come and stay with us for two months when the baby was supposed to come. I knew I would be busy with a newborn and a two-year-old.

My son was born, my husband came home for R&R, then he left again. My mom went home. My son got sick. He got better. Spring came.

As the months went on, the deployment got harder and harder.

The feeling of loneliness took over me. I remember sitting in my bathroom, after my son went to sleep, wondering how I was going to get through that time without my husband.

He is the one person I could talk to about anything. Even the silly things. The everyday things. The things spouses talk about with only one another.

By this point in the deployment, I wasn’t even able to talk to him that much. I think the longest we went was 30 days. 30 days without anything from my husband.

I felt like I was in a weird place. I knew I was married, but I didn’t feel like I was. I knew I had a husband out there that loved me, but it seemed like it was something from another time. Your mind can really play tricks on you.

Having a community to depend on is the #1 thing you can do when you reach this point of the deployment.

When you feel so lonely and you would give anything to have a real conversation with another adult. When you crave your spouse’s touch, but you know you have to wait for a while for that. Having a community of other spouses to talk about this with is what got me through those months.

When they told us that our husbands would be extended during the surge in Iraq in 2007, that they would not come home after a year, we all met at McDonald’s to let the kids play. We cried together and tried to figure out how we were going to get through this deployment extension. We knew we could not handle this alone. We knew we needed each other.

So while I still struggled with that loneliness, especially at night, when the house was quiet, I was glad to have a circle of friends around me who got what I was going through. That I could vent with, cry with, and get through the deployment with.

They made all of the difference and going into future deployments I learned that having that circle was a must.

Loneliness during a deployment can hit us hard.

We might assume we can avoid feeling lonely, especially if we have so many other things to focus on. But sometimes loneliness can hit when we least expect it. 

Sometimes loneliness hits during a trip to a grocery store, or when grabbing a cup of coffee. Sometimes it hits when watching a movie, or talking about something unrelated to military life. Sometimes that loneliness hits and we can’t get rid of it on our own.

When that loneliness hits, find ways to stay busy and get up and get moving. Write in a journal, take a long walk with your kids, or call a good friend. Find things you know you can do when the emotion hits you hard. Doing so is your best defense against loneliness. 

How do you handle loneliness during your spouse’s deployment???

5 Things I Have Learned During My Time As A Solo Parent

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16 years ago, my husband went to a recruiter for the Army reserves. We walked out of the place and said, “Nope, that isn’t going to be an option for us.” One reason was that he would have to drive a few hours to get to his monthly drills. Another reason was that I would have to be a solo parent and I couldn’t imagine it.

Yep, I couldn’t see how I could parent by myself. Doing so didn’t seem possible. I laugh about that now.

Back then I had one little boy who wasn’t even a year old yet. I really didn’t think I could handle solo parenting. It sounded awful. Just being the only parent around for days, weeks, months at a time? How could we even be thinking about that?

Well, as it turned out, we decided that active duty Army was the way to go. He signed his papers and left for Germany. Instant solo parenting!

Over the years I have in fact gone days, weeks, months, and one time over a year as the only parent in the house. Over the years I have learned a lot about myself, my parenting, and about how to be with kids when you are the only one in charge.

5 Things I Have Learned During My Time As A Solo Parent

1) Somethings ARE easier by yourself.

Take middle-of-the-night feedings. My husband was gone when boy #2 was a newborn and when #3 was about two months old. That meant he just wasn’t there during the months that my babies woke up to eat in the middle of the night.

As hard as it was to do that alone, not worrying about waking him up was nice. I didn’t have to be extra quiet as I climbed out of bed. I could turn the light on if need be. It really did make the middle of the night times a little bit easier.

2) Sometimes you can only do what you can do.

When it is just you, when you are tired and lonely and worn down, you look at what is important. You don’t dwell so much on the little silly things. You focus on what needs to get done and do it. That can be freeing in some ways.

3) No butting heads about the little things.

Since you are the solo parent, you don’t tend to ask your spouse about all the little parenting choices you have to make. All the choices are all up to you. You never want to do something your spouse would hate but you also won’t butt heads over something small.

4) More time for yourself. More time to think.

After you put the kids to bed, you can have your me time. This will give you more time to think. To think about what went right, to think about what went wrong and what you can do better the next day.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my husband after the kids go to bed when he is home, but when he isn’t, I take the time to reflect a little more than I do when he is around.

5) I can do more than I think I can.

Going back to 2005, I didn’t think I could handle being a solo parent. When people tell me they couldn’t do military life, I remember that. I remember that I didn’t think I could either. Is it hard? Yep. Do you just want your spouse home when they are away? Yep. Can you make things work if you have to? Yes you can.

Whether your spouse is in the Military or has another job that keeps them away sometimes, solo parenting can be draining. Find some good support systems to help you through. Realize that you will have to let things go and enjoy the time that you do have together. You can get through it, I know that you can.

What To Appreciate About Military Spouses

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The Friday before Mother’s Day is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. A day to recognize military spouses, and appreciate all that they do, standing by their service member.

Military spouses are not all the same, and we are all on our own military journey. Some of us are more seasoned, and have been doing this over a decade, or even over two or three. Some of us have only been doing this life for a few years, and things still feel so new.

During my time as a military spouse, there have been plenty of things I have learned to appreciate about other military spouses. There are some amazing people in this community doing such amazing things.

What To Appreciate About Military Spouses

Military Spouse Are Creative

Military spouses use their creativity for good. They start groups and clubs when there are not any around. They send care packages overseas, with all types of themes. They take lemons and turn them into lemonade, and figure out how to get through what they need to get through, during this military life.

Military Spouses Are Patient

Military spouses have to be patient, even when we really don’t want to be. We have to wait for deployments to start, wait for deployments to end. We have to wait to PCS, and those orders can take forever.

We have to wait to go home and see our families, and we have to wait for R&R. Being patient doesn’t always come easy but we do it anyway because we have to, and we want to support our spouse in their military career.

Military Spouses Are Giving

I have seen so many military spouses give their time and even money over the years. If a military spouse loses their partner overseas, the military community is there to step up. If a military spouse needs extra support, other military spouses are there to listen to them vent. When military spouses see an issue, they work to fix that issue, because they know how doing so will benefit all of us.

Military Spouses Have So Much To Offer

From volunteering for the FRG, to going back to school to further their own careers, military spouses have so much to offer. Each of us is unique and can bring our strengths to the military community. We have so much to offer, both the military community and the civilian communities we find ourselves in.

Military Spouses Are Unique

I love listening to other military spouse’s stories. We all came to this life in our own way. Some of us married in, and some of us were with our spouses when they enlisted. We come from different places, and might even speak different languages. Some of us have children, and some of us don’t.

I love how unique the military community is. We can all come together, no matter the branch, or the MOS, and know we are all in this together. We are all supporting a service member and even if we are different in other ways, we have that in common.

Think about all the things you appreciate the most about your fellow military spouses. Let me know in the comments what they are.