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Julie

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn’t Been Said Before

September 3, 2025 by Julie

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn’t Been Said Before?

Every September, as we get closer to the middle of the month, the memories of what happened on September 11th, 2001 come flooding back. I can’t help but think about that entire morning, at least how I experienced it, from the West Coast.

I still remember when I realized something not so normal was going on. I still remember going to class, and how not everyone in the room had heard the news. I still remember how that was all we talked about for the next two weeks of classes, how could we talk about anything else?

I was only dating my husband at the time, and he was in the IRR (The Individual Ready Reserve,) not active duty or even in the National Guard. IRR at that time didn’t mean a whole lot, just going in for appointments every once in a while. It was more of a technicality.

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

After September 11th, things changed.

I started to wonder if he would be called up and what that would mean. What that would mean for him, for our relationship. Would we rush to get married? Would be break up? I didn’t know.

As the months passed, it seemed clear that he probably wouldn’t be called up after all. Then time passed.

I had no idea that what happened on 9/11 would change our country, our military, our family.

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

So as I think about what to write this year, I am not sure what else I could say.

I could give you more details about that day, I know some of you were too young to remember.

I could tell you about my kids and what they know about that day, the kids that were born after 9/11.

I could tell you about how different my military spouse experience has been because of what happened that day, what the war on terror meant on a personal level being married to a service member, or about any fears I still have about having to say goodbye to a spouse as they go fight in this new type of war.

I could leave you with some inspiring words about the sacrifices made.

The men and women who lost their lives in the tower, the ones who did in the recovery efforts, or those who did in the following years in Iraq and Afghanistan because of what happened that day.

I could give you a list of movies and television shows and books that talk about 9/11 or have something to do with that day.

But haven’t we all heard this all before? Is any of it new? Is it even worth repeating?

What can I say about September 11th that hasn’t been said before?

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

What words can I give that will help you through this day? What can I add to the conversation?

I just don’t know.

I do know that we can’t forget what we as a country have been through.

We can’t forget that morning or what happened that day.
 
We have to keep sharing with those that were not there.

I do know that our lives were changed in the smallest and biggest of ways that day.

I do know that in the aftermath of 9/11, communities came together like never before.

It didn’t matter if you didn’t agree on 9/10, on 9/11 you were holding hands in a sanctuary, trying to make sense of everything.

You might have two years old, sitting on your mother’s lap as she had CNN on all day.

You might have been seven years old, wondering what was going on and why so many people were so upset.

 

You might have been twenty years old, sitting in a college class, worrying about your friend who lives in NYC.

You might have been thirty years old, a proud military wife for the last ten years, wonder how this will change everything for you and your family.

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

Whatever you were doing that day, whatever you remember, if nothing else, 9/11 is a memorial day. One in which we can remember those who have lost their lives, lost their families, or even lost their hope.

Here we are, on the 17th anniversary of the day that changed everything, let’s try to show as much peace, love, and hope to others as we can. For that is quite the opposite of what led to that tragedy almost twenty years ago. And that is what will keep us moving forward as a country, despite the struggles and frustrations we face along the way.

Peace. Love. Remember. 

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: 9/11, military life, September 11th

A Letter To A New Military Spouse, Starting Their Military Life Journey

September 1, 2025 by Julie

A Letter To A New Military Spouse Just Starting Their Military Life Journey

A Letter To A New Military Spouse, Starting Their Military Life Journey…

I know things feel a bit scary right now. Your loving spouse has just joined the Military. You might not even know how to feel right now. You are likely experiencing a range of emotions. Both happy and sad ones.

You are not sure what is going to happen or what the next few years will be like. You agreed that you would take it one enlistment at a time. Only three years and then if you both want to walk away you can, only, you wonder if you really will.

You wonder if the Military will be your life from now on.

That your spouse will like the military life too much, that you will like it too much or that you will absolutely hate military life and that they will want to stay.

The truth is, it is nearly impossible to know what your experience is going to be like. The Military is different for everyone. Based on where you are stationed, the unit they are in, if they deploy or not, how many times they deploy and how often, the friends you meet and everything that happens between now and when it is time to make that reenlistment decision.

My advice would be to take it one year at a time.

Don’t let a bad situation cause you to change your life. Don’t let a good one lead you into thinking that everything will always be easy. Know that when the time comes to decide, you two will know in your hearts what the next step will be.

You worry about those deployments everyone is talking about. And if you can get through them when it doesn’t even seem like you can get used to them being away during basic training.

Your deployments will be some of the hardest months of your life.

You will miss your spouse like crazy, and you will wonder why you decided that joining the Military was a good idea in the first place. You will cry yourself to sleep some nights and pat yourself on the back during others.

You will have good days and bad ones. You just have to keep on keeping on. You will find your own battle buddies that will help you on the days you just don’t think you can do Military life anymore. In return, you can be there for them during their difficult days.

You will make friends but they or you will have to eventually move and you will have to say goodbye to each other. Always having to make new friends will be difficult but it also makes life a little more interesting.

You never know who you will meet next, where they will be from or what kind of story they will have.

With Facebook, it is a lot easier to keep in touch with others after you no longer live in the same place. This part of Military life is hard but it is something you can get more used to, even if you still don’t want to have to say goodbye to people all of the time.

Military spouse, you are a part of something amazing. A family of other spouses whose heart belongs to someone who serves in the Military. You are a part of history. You will be remembered for what you are about to do, for the sacrifices you will give to your country, and for the strong faith you will show in the midst of difficult situations.

A Letter To A New Military Spouse Just Starting Their Military Life Journey

The best part of being a Military spouse is that you are not alone.

There are a lot of us out there to help guide you through everything you might experience. There really is nothing new under the Military sun. As you move forward down your Military life path, remember why you and your spouse made the decision for him to join. Remember to take it one day at a time if you need to.

You will be okay. You will grow stronger through it all and you will make the best friends you could ever meet through your time as a Military Spouse.

Are you a new Military Spouse? What do you think about this new chapter in your life?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, surviving deployments

Because I Married a Soldier: Life as a Military Spouse

August 27, 2025 by Julie Leave a Comment

Because I Married a Soldier: Life as a Military Spouse

Initially written in 2018!

I always wonder what is next. Will he deploy? Will he stay home? Will he be home more than he is away? As I ponder what this year will bring, I am reminded of what it means to be married to someone serving in the military.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, my husband can be away from us, whether it is for days, weeks, months, or even years. And when he is gone, I stay home and make the best of the situation, knowing he is serving his country in the way he knows how.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, I have found friendship with others who have gone through the same thing. We have spent the holidays together and have become like family to one another. We have each other’s backs and know we can depend on one another when we need that extra support.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, what happens on the news affects me in very personal ways. If they say they are sending more troops over there, I worry my husband might be one of them. And then I remind myself that this is what Army service is all about.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, I try to be strong even if I don’t always feel that way. Sometimes I merely survive during a deployment instead of thrive, even if that is my goal. I have to take one day at a time, one hour at a time in some cases.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, I have moved several times. Starting over in a new place, a new state, a new country. I have learned how to adapt, how to be apart, and how to handle homesickness.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, I have learned how to be more patient, how to get through the impossible, how to make the best of a difficult situation. I have learned how to handle what this life brings me, even if somedays that doesn’t seem very possible.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, I know I am a part of something amazing. I am a part of something historical. I have those who have come before me, in wars past, from who I can learn. I have those who I walk beside today, going through what I am also dealing with.

Because I am a soldier’s wife, figuring out what I want to do has been more of a challenge. His career comes first. If he is gone all summer, how will I adjust? If he is gone for a year, how will I make my dreams come true? If I am the only parent for months at a time, how will I have time to work on myself?

Because I am a soldier’s wife, I have learned so much in the years since my husband has joined. I have learned about myself, my marriage, and the world in general. I have gained more than I have lost.

I wonder what the next 12 months will look like. Will this year be one of the harder ones, or will we have a bit of a break? Who knows. I just know that I am doing all of this with my husband by my side, with my friends who understand, and with an attitude that I can get through anything this crazy life throws at me.

Because I Married a Soldier: Life as a Military Spouse

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: army wife, military wife, Soldier's Wife

A Big Long List of Military Discounts for Military Spouses

August 25, 2025 by Julie Leave a Comment

A Big Long List of Military Discounts for Military Spouses

The first time I ever used a military discount was when I was living in Kentucky and they offered one at our local Chick-fil-A. Not all Chick-fil-A’s offer a military discount, and maybe that one doesn’t anymore but it did when I was there and was able to use it to save a couple of bucks on my meal.

My favorite military discount has got to be the one you can use at Disneyland. We have used this one three different times, in 2017, 2018, and 2022. We hope to be able to use the Walt Disney World military discount someday too.

There are so many different military discounts and programs out there. From Lowe’s and Home Depot to Vera Bradley and other retail shops. You can save $500 on a new car, or buy shoes with a 10% discount. While some retailers only give the military discount to the service member, many also include the spouse and families allowing for us military spouses to use the discount even if our service member is not with us.

Are you interested in knowing what military discounts are out there? You have come to the right place! Here is a big long list of military discounts for military spouses. Enjoy!

Grab something to eat or enjoy a yummy treat

  • Kroger – groceries, but only at Kroger’s near Fort Campbell. 10%.
  • A&W – yummy rootbear floats and a burger on the side! Save 10%.
  • Chuck E. Cheese – for the kids, for the pizza, for fun. Save money with the Chuck E. Cheese Military Deals!
  • Houlihan’s – take the family out for dinner. Save 10% on your check.
  • Outback – for a steak dinner, with a Bloomin’ Onion. Those things are addictive. Save 10% with their military discount.
  • El Pollo Loco – chicken, chicken, and more chicken. Save 15% with their military discount.

Clothing, shoes, and accessories

  • Under Armour – find clothing and shoes. Save 20%, although sometimes they will offer up to 40%.
  • Columbia – find warm clothing, jackets, and more. Save 20%.
  • Puma – clothing, shoes, and accessories. Save 10%.
  • Vera Bradley – purses, blankets, and more! They offer a 15% military discount that you can also combine with sales and promotions. You can also use the Vera Bradley military discount online!
  • Shoe Carnival – for shoes for you, your spouse, and the kids. Don’t forget the socks! Save 10%.
  • Reebok – shoes, clothing, and more. Save 50%. Yes, 50%!
  • Banana Republic, Old Navy, and the Gap – these three stores all offer military discounts, between 10-15%.
  • Dickies – for men’s pants and workwear. Save 10% with their military discount.
  • Hanes – for your sleepwear, loungewear, and underwear needs. Save 10%.
  • J.Crew – for high-quality men’s, women’s, and kid’s clothing. Save 15%.
  • Kohl’s – for clothing, home goods, and more. Save 15%…on Mondays.
  • Lululemon – clothing for yoga, running, training, and more. Save 15%.
  • Nike- shoes, shoes, and more shoes. Just do it and buy some shoes. Save 10% with the Nike military discount.

Military Spouse/Veteran Owned Businesses

  • Sword & Plough – is a veteran-owned business with Made in the USA bags and accessories. They offer a 20% military discount.

Entertainment for you and your kids

  • Regal – for movies! Save around $1.00 on tickets.
  • AMC – for movies! Save around $1.00 on tickets.
  • The Nashville Zoo – make sure to check out the bears! Save 47-50% as a military discount, or receive free admission for the veteran and their family around Veterans Day.
  • Great Wolf Lodge – an indoor waterpark for the kids! Save 25%!
  • MLB Games – one, two, three strikes you’re out. Most MLB teams do offer discounted military tickets.

Amusement parks you don’t want to miss

When it comes to Amusement Park tickets, your MWR Travel Office is going to be your best friend. You should be able to find a list of where you can get tickets and their prices and then buy the tickets there. Do this before any trip and you can save yourself some money.

  • Disneyland – the Happiest Place On Earth. Save on park hopper tickets.
  • Walt Disney World – the other Happiest Place On Earth. Save on park hopper tickets.
  • Sea World – a fun water-themed amusement park in San Diego, San Antonio, and Orlando. Receive up to four free tickets per family.
  • Legoland – both in California and Florida. Fun for the little kids. And maybe Mom and Dad too. Save on tickets and hotel rooms. Mom
  • Universal Studios – located in both California and Florida. Save money on tickets and hotels and don’t forget to drink some Butterbeer in Harry Potter Land 🙂
  • Six Flags – over 20 parks to choose from. They offer Military Appreciation tickets.

Save money on your car

  • Honda – get yourself a new ride! $500 off your purchase.
  • Toyota – drive yourself over and get a new Toyota, and receive a $500 rebate.
  • O’Reilly Auto Parts – for all your automobile needs. Save 10%.
  • Pep Boys – for more of your automobile needs. Save 10%.
  • Volkswagen – save $500 on your next vehicle.

Glasses and jewelry and random fun things

  • Ray-Ban – find sunglasses. Save 15%.
  • Jared – jewelry, watches, and other gifts. Save 10%.
  • Glasses USA – glasses and sunglasses. $10 off your purchases.
  • Sunglasses Hut – to shade you from the sun. Save 15%.
  • Zenni Optical – for glasses and sunglasses. Save 10%.

Toys, books, and stuff for the kids

  • Gamestop – for all your video game needs. Save 10%.
  • Evenflo – from strollers to car seats, gear for your babies. Save 25% with their military discount.
  • Enfamil – formula for your baby. Save 10%.
  • Baby Tula – baby carriers, in many patterns and colors. Save 15% with their military discount.
  • Free Breast Pump – receive a free breast pump with your TRICARE benefit.

Health and Wellness

  • Thrive Market – natural and organic products. Receive a free membership.
  • Anytime Fitness – work out, and get to the gym. Save money with their military discount.

Random retailers with cool stuff

  • Michaels – find crafts, decorations for your home, and more. Save 15%.
  • Joann – similar to Michaels. They offer a 15% military discount.
  • Yeti – coolers and more, get 20% off with a Yeti military discount.
  • Stanley – water bottles. Save 20%.
  • Lowe’s – home improvement, plants, and more. Save 10%.
  • Home Depot – home improvement, plants, and more. Save 10%.
  • Weber – grills for your BBQs. Save 10%.
  • Mattress Firm – for your sleeping needs. Save 10-20%.
  • Camp Chef – for grills and skillets. Save 20%.
  • Apple, Dell, and Microsoft – need a new computer? phone? accessories? All three of these companies have military discounts!
  • Yankee Candle – make your house smell good! Save 10%.

Travel fun

  • Amtrak – skip the plane and take a train. Save 10% on tickets.
  • Airlines – most airlines offer the military something, from reduced tickets to saving on bag fees. Double check since some only offer to the service member.
  • National Parks – from sea to shining sea, check out America’s National Parks. Military can get a free pass!

If you have or work for a business with a military discount that is not already on this list, please contact me for information on how to be added.

Filed Under: Military Discounts Tagged With: military Discounts, military life, military spouse

6 Resources For Military Spouses Struggling With Anxiety and Depression

August 24, 2025 by Julie

6 Resources For Military Spouses Struggling With Anxiety and Depression

I suffer from anxiety. Having a spouse in the military can add to the struggle. Over the years, I have learned what works and how to deal with my anxiety. Sometimes that means changing little things in my life, other times that has meant going to see a counselor.

I know I am not alone in my anxiety. Other military spouses struggle with it too. Some spouses struggle with depression as well. No matter who you are or what you do, struggling with anxiety and depression can be a lifelong battle.

Mental health is a serious issue in the US and our military. It has touched our family personally as well as many other families I know. We shouldn’t be sweeping it under the rug, and we shouldn’t be embarrassed to reach out and seek help if we need it.

The good thing is that there are resources for military spouses who struggle with anxiety and depression. We don’t have to go through this alone. There is help out there.

Here is a list of six resources to help with your anxiety or depression:

TRICARE

One of the best things you can do if you are struggling with anxiety or depression is to talk about what is going on with your doctor. They can then talk with you about your options. For some, that does mean medications, and that choice should be one you make with your doctor. For others, it could mean going to therapy.

Military Family Life Counselor

The Military Family Life Counselor or MFLC program is where you can find a licensed clinical provider who assists service members and their families with a wide range of issues. They offer this non-medical and confidential help if you need it, but they should not replace going to see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist.

Military One Source

The Military Family and Life Counseling Program offers non-medical and short-term counseling to the military and their families. This can be a good choice if you are dealing with deployment adjustments, stress management, grieving the loss of a loved one, or more. They do not deal with cases of abuse, suicidal thoughts, or mental health issues that may require long-term care or medication.

Military One Source also has articles on mental health and other issues affecting military families.

Give An Hour

This organization has a mission to help others by connecting them with a network of volunteers that can respond to their needs. Since 2005, they have focused on providing free mental health care to the military (including the National Guard and the Reserves), veterans, and their families.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

This lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for those in distress or in crisis. Please use this if you or a loved one is in trouble. They also have information on suicide and mental health as well as stories of recovery and hope.

 


If you are struggling, know you don’t have to struggle alone. There are resources out there for you, to help you get what you need to be in a better place.

Do you know of any resources for military spouses with anxiety and depression that should be added to this list? 

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: anxiety, Mental Health, military spouse

75 Smart Tips for Surviving the Next Military Deployment

August 22, 2025 by Julie

75 Smart Tips for Surviving the Next Military Deployment

Deployment. Deployment. Deployment. That word is enough to turn a good day into a bad one. As military spouses, we know that deployments are a part of military life.

Surviving deployment is a must, even on those most difficult days. Whether your spouse deploys every few months or you go through a 9 or 12-month deployment every other year, you will need to figure out what works for you and how to get through.

Deployments are going to be a difficult part of your marriage, but that doesn’t mean they have to break you. That doesn’t mean they have to bring you down. With enough help and encouragement, you can get through your deployment, even if it is one day at a time.

Here are 75 tips for surviving deployment:

1. Make goals

Make a list of everything you want to while your spouse is deployed. Start on this list right after you say goodbye. Having goals will allow you to focus on something besides the fact that they are gone.

 

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2. Read some good books

Reading can be pretty therapeutic. Getting lost in a book will help you through those long deployment nights.

3. Try not to get jealous

Jealousy can be an issue during a deployment. You can get jealous of a friend who talks to their spouse more than you talk to yours or a friend whose husband is not deployed. Try not to compare your situation to others.

4. Find a routine

Routines are good. Even simple ones. Find a routine that works for you. Find one for your kids.

5. Take photos and make albums

Take lots of pictures, make albums, and then send them to your deployed spouse.

6. Learn OPSEC

OPSEC is so important! Learn what OPSEC means and make sure you don’t post what you shouldn’t on social media.

7. Call your Mother-in-law

She is the other person that misses your spouse as much as you do, even though it is in a different way.

8. Get organized

Organize your life. Having an organized home can help with your mood.

9. Be careful about the news

Some people can handle watching the news during a deployment; others can’t. Figure out which one you are and stick to it.

10. Pace yourself

Don’t try to do everything on day one. Pace yourself. You have a lot of days to get through.

11. Use technology for your advantage

We live in a time where technology allows us to video chat with a spouse deployed overseas. Remember how lucky we are.

12. Stay loyal

Don’t cheat. I know, do I even have to say that? But just don’t. Stay faithful. If you don’t want to be married anymore, you can talk about that with your spouse but don’t cheat on a deployed service member.

13. Start a countdown

Not everyone likes to countdown, but I do. It helps me celebrate the days I have been through and puts the deployment in perspective.

14. Know it’s okay if you don’t talk every day

Know that it is okay if you don’t talk to your spouse every day. Sometimes there will be missions that will take them away from the phones. Don’t freak out if you have to wait a few days. Remember, no news is good news.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

15. Re-arrange your living room

Find a fresh look to your home. Move furniture around and have fun with it.

16. Go to church

If you are religious, go to church. Sundays are hard anyway. Being able to spend time at church part of the day is good for the soul.

17. Pray

Pray and use your faith to help ground you during the deployment.

18. Ask people to pray for you

Asking others to pray for you can help as well. If nothing else, you will know other people are thinking about you.

19. Pay off debt

Deployment is the perfect time to pay off debt. Get rid of extra bills and work towards your future.

20. Binge Watch

Deployment and Netflix go hand and hand. You can also have Hulu, Amazon, or any of the other streaming services.

21. Plan a Space-A trip

If your spouse is deployed, you get a higher priority when you Space-A. Take some time to look into how to Space-A and plan a trip.

22. Find a support group

Find a group you can depend on. It can be an actual support group or a more informal one. You can even start a deployment support group yourself.

23. Go to playgroups with your kids

Playgroups are the best. Time for your kids to play with other kids and you to talk with other moms.

24. Be open with your partner

During a deployment, it is important to be open with your partner. You are still married and being able to talk while they are away is important. Sometimes this might just mean writing letters and other times it will be phone calls and video chats.

25. Make new friends

Deployments can be a good time to make new friends. Find people who get you and what a deployment is like.

26. Explore your city

Take the time to get out and explore your city and community. It will be good for your soul.

27. Join a gym

Work on yourself during a deployment and join a gym. Hopefully one with childcare.

28. Wine

Drink the wine. But not too much.

29. Coffee

You know you need coffee. Invest in a nice coffee maker and have your daily cup.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

30. Find a sitter

Find a good babysitter. She can watch your child when you head to the Commissary or just for a night out with friends.

31.  Start a business

Have you ever wanted your own business? Maybe now is the time to start. Doing so will keep you busy.

32. Start a deployment garden

Gardening gives you a chance to focus on something else and is good for you.

33. Listen to podcasts

Podcast are fantastic. There are so many awesome podcasts out there, on so many different topics.

34. Develop an easier nightly routine

When you have kids, bedtime is all up to you. Figure out if you can change your current routine to make the night a little easier for yourself.

35. Find me time

You are going to need to figure out a way to have me time during a deployment. Get creative if you have to and use the resources available in your community.

36. Let others know what you need

Don’t be afraid to let others know what you need. Friends want to help one another out.

37. Find something new to do

Find something new to try that you have never done before. Be adventurous.

38. Use the CDC

The CDC on your military post or base will probably have a CDC. Use it. Look into hourly care. It will save you.

39. Buy deployment books for your child

There are quite a few books on deployment that can help your child. Check them out.

40. Buy deployment books for yourself

There are deployment books for spouses too.

41. Send cute care packages

Get creative and send cute care packages. Holiday care packages are always a hit.

42. Buy cute stationery

During one of our deployments, I found stationery from where we went on our honeymoon. It was nice to write love letters on those and send them off to my husband.

43. Find your people

Finding your military spouse tribe is a must. Make plans with the people who can be there for you.

44. Go to an FRG meeting

I know FRG meetings get a bad rap, but they can be a very good thing. You will be walking into a room filled with other spouses going through the exact same thing you are.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

45. Volunteer

Find a place to volunteer. This can help with boredom, help you develop friendships, and allow you to give back.

46. Trade babysitting with a friend

Find a good friend that you trust. Trade babysitting. This will save you money and still allow you to find that me time.

47. Ask for help

Sometimes we have to ask for help. We simply can’t do it all, all of the time.

48. Go on a mini-vacation

Spend the week in another city, visit a friend, or explore somewhere you have always wanted to go.

49. Visit home

Take a longer trip to visit home. See your parents, friends, and other family members. It will be good for your soul.

50. Work on your hobbies

Have you been putting off your favorite hobby? Deployment is a good time to get back into them.

51. Paint your house

Is there a room that needs a refreshing? Want to change the color? Start a painting project. Invite friends to help.

52. Join Facebook support groups

I have one for my blog. Reach out and help other people at the same time.

53. Follow Facebook pages

There are quite a few military support Facebook pages you can follow. Here is mine.

54. Get up and moving

Get up, shower, get dressed, and go somewhere. Every day. Even if you just take a walk around the neighborhood.

55. Assign chores

If you have kids, assign them some chores to help you out. If they are old enough, this can be such a good way to teach them responsibility and to give you a little bit of a break.

56. Write in a journal

Journals are amazing. You can write out whatever you feel like and no one can judge you for it.

57. Remember, this is temporary

Deployments don’t last forever. They eventually end. Remind yourself of that.

58. Drop the haters

You don’t need to be around people who are going to bring you down. Drop the haters and move on.

59. Check out activities on post

From MWR to the YMCA, see what is going on. There are always events you can go to, many of them are free.

60. Check out activities off post

Look into your local community to see what is going on.

61. Learn to cook something new

Try new recipes, look into learning something new. Get together with friends to share what you like to make.

62. Cry when you need to

Having a bad deployment day? Let it all out. Then pull yourself together to go on to the next day.

63. Seek extra help

Sometimes we need extra help. Don’t be afraid to start going to a counselor. They can help you more than you release.

64. Call your mom

Call your mom when you need to. Let it out. She can comfort you.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

65. Find a new job

Find a new job, do something different, move up in your career.

66. Plan a post-deployment vacation

Talk to your spouse about what they want to do when they get home from the deployment. Plan the trip. That can be a fun distraction.

67. Start a blog

You have something to say about your experience. Start a blog and write about your situation.

68. Follow blogs

There are many military spouse blogs out there. Follow them. Learn from what they have to say.

69. Let things go

Sometimes we have to take a step back and let things go.

70. Know that you will have good days and bad days

Some deployment days will be good; some will be bad. That tends to be how things go.

71. Don’t worry about the next one

For many of us, there will be another deployment. Try not to worry about that during this deployment. You don’t know what the future will hold.

72. Text your friends

Texting can be a good way to connect with your best friends throughout the day. And can be helpful during a deployment.

73. Laugh

It’s okay to laugh. Smile. Have fun. It’s okay to do so during a deployment.

74. You be you

How you do deployment could be different than how your neighbor does, that’s okay. You do you.

75. Remember you got this. You are strong enough and brave enough to get through a deployment. 

 


Looking for more deployment posts???

75 Smart Tips for Surviving the Next Military Deployment

Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: Deployment, military spouse, surviving deployment

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

August 20, 2025 by Julie

My son was 13 months old when my husband left for Germany to start his Army career, leaving us behind in Kentucky to join him as soon as possible. Other than a trip to my parents’ house when my son was five months old, my husband had always been around to co-parent with me. Then he was gone, across the ocean, and I became a solo parent.

I was lucky. At that time, I would put my son down at 7 pm, and he would sleep until 7 am. However, I couldn’t sleep and would finally close my eyes around 3 am every morning. On four hours of sleep, I had to be both mom and dad. I got burned out very quickly. After 4.5 months of this, we joined my husband in Germany. But my solo parenting days were far from over.

Over the next few years, my husband deployed or was away at training. For months at a time, it was just me with the boys. The longest we went without seeing him was 11 months. That was rough. These days I am still a solo parent with drill weekends and training. And there could always be another deployment in our future.

When your spouse is in the military, you will have to be the solo parent sometimes.

Maybe just for a few weeks, other times for a few months and if you “get lucky” for over a year. The truth is, when you become a solo parent, you have this strong belief that this isn’t the way things were supposed to be. Your spouse was not meant to miss your son’s first birthday. Your spouse was supposed to be there on their first day of kindergarten. They were supposed to be there to help with bedtimes, soccer games, and birthday parties.

When you are married to a service member, they are going to miss those things, and that is going to hurt.

But as a military spouse, you figure out how to make solo parenting work. How to be three places at once, how to say no more often, how to let the little things go and how to make a fantastic dinner of mac and cheese with a side of cereal.

You learn how putting the kids to bed a little earlier will give you some time to take a bubble bath, one that you might need after a long day. You learn to befriend others who get this life and ignore those who don’t. You learn that you are so much stronger and can do so much more than you ever thought you could.

So, to the military spouse who is solo parenting for the first time, there are things you can do to make life a bit easier!

Take things one day at a time

Take everything you are going through one day at a time. Sometimes you might have to take things one hour at a time. That’s okay. Solo parenting is no picnic and most likely getting through the months you have to do it is going to be challenging. But try not to think about how long they will be gone and work through each day as it comes.

Find mom friends

Mom friends are a must when you are solo parenting. Find other moms who are going through deployments too. Make plans to get together on a regular basis. Let your kids play together. This will keep you busy and will give you people who understand what you are going through.

Find playgroups

Play groups are going to be your weekly lifesaver. You can take your kids out to do something fun, to keep them busy and you can make some friends of your own. Playgroups could be the only time of day when you can do something fun outside the house with such small children. MOPS is also a great place to go if you have a MOPS group in your area.

Say no, it’s okay

When you are solo parenting, you might want to say “no” a little more often. And it’s okay to do so. You are not superwomen. You can’t do everything. Your kids need to come first. So figure out what works for them as well as your emotional needs and feel free to say no if there is just too much going on.

Remember, this is temporary

No matter how long a deployment is, it will be temporary, and your spouse will be home again with you and your children. This is hard to remember sometimes, but if you can put the deployment in perspective, that can be helpful.

How do you get through times of solo parenting?

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

Filed Under: Solo Parenting Tagged With: military spouse, Military spouse life, Milspouse, milspouse life, solo parenting

So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

August 18, 2025 by Julie 3 Comments

So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

You were trying, or maybe you weren’t. But the test is clear. You are pregnant, maybe with your first, maybe with your 4th but you know what this means.

Another baby…

A sibling for your two-year-old…

You are growing your family, just like you wanted to.

And as happy as you are, as excited as you are, there is something looming over your happiness.

Your husband, the father of your child, is deploying soon.

And you aren’t sure how you are going to handle everything. You just found out you are pregnant and he’s deploying…

So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

When I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, there was a deployment in our future. We didn’t know exactly when. We didn’t know how long he would be gone. But we knew the deployment would happen.

And then it did. He left when I was 25 weeks pregnant, and I knew I had to figure out how to find my strength to get through this. I knew this deployment and pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy.

I had an almost two-year-old I would still need to take care of. I was already so tired but now I would be solo parenting. I also needed to figure out who would be with me during the birth. We didn’t know if my husband would be able to be there for that.

After he left and the deployment started, I went into survival mode and somehow got through the rest of my pregnancy. I made plans with friends, I asked my mom to come to stay with me over my due date, and I took each day as it came, making the best of the time with just my two-year-old.

If you have just found out you are pregnant and know there is a deployment in your future, here are a few things to think about:

Make Friends

Making friends through all of this is going to be such an important thing to do. You don’t have to go through this alone and having people who get what you are going through or can be there for you through everything is a must. When you are pregnant, you can also start getting out there and meeting other moms through places like MOPS or other groups on and off post.

Make Plans

With being pregnant and having a deployed spouse, you are going to need to make some plans. Who will you have there during your birth? What do you need to buy for your new baby? What will you do when you go into labor?

Make Time For Yourself

You need to make sure you are making time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself and your baby. While staying busy is a must, you also want to make sure you aren’t taking on too much. Look at your schedule and see where you can take some time to just chill and relax, even if it is just for a few minutes a day.

Make Decisions For You

Being pregnant with a deployed spouse, you are going to have people give you all sorts of opinions about what you should do. From a family member insisting that you move home during the deployment to a neighbor expecting you to stay because she did. Try to figure out what would be best for you and your own situation and make decisions for you and your family.

So many of us have been through a pregnancy with a deployed service member or a spouse who has to be away for another type of training. When this happens it can bring up so many different feelings. You might wonder why your spouse has to miss such a precious time in your life.

Figuring out the tools to get you through this time is so important. You can figure out what works for you and your situation. And doing that can get you through the pregnancy, the birth, and any other time your spouse will have to miss.

Have you been pregnant during a deployment? What got you through?

Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: Deployment, military life, military spouse

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

 

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I first became a military spouse in 2005 when my husband of 3 years re-joined the Army. Then, in 2014, he joined the National Guard. In January of 2024, he retired from the National Guard after 21 years of service.

During our time in the military, we got to spend 4 years in Germany as well as Tennessee where we now call home.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you through my articles and social media posts.

 

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