Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?
I was looking through some of the keywords that people use to come to this blog and “Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?” came up a few times. I want to tell these people that although it does seem hard, you can make it through. The time before they leave can be really difficult. You wonder what it will be like, if you can do this time alone, if you can parent alone if you can handle him being in a war zone, etc. It is hard to know exactly what to expect, even if you have gone through one before.
You never really know how you are going to feel or what the deployment will be like.
Each one is a little different.
There have been times during all of our deployments that I just wondered how I would make it one more day. I felt burned out and just done with everything. But somehow I was able to pick myself back up and get on with it. Sometimes it was because of a lot of prayers, other times it was getting together with a friend and sometimes I would even have to give myself a pep talk. A lot of tears might have been shed but that is how I got through the deployment.
I think we try to be strong and don’t think we can ever cry about what is going on. We even hear people say we shouldn’t complain. But some days you just have to break down. You just have to let everything all out before you can move on to the next day. It is ok to have a bad deployment day, to have ice cream for dinner, to cry to a friend. This is all a part of getting through the months or even years alone. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Each of us handle this type of things differently and just because a friend never seems to have a bad day, it doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t.
So to those of you afraid for your first deployment and think you won’t be able to make it through, if you love your husband, if you are committed to him, then you will. You will be able to make it through. You will get through the X amount of months and come out stronger on the other side. You will. Sometimes it might feel like you are just getting through one day at a time. The days can feel long and frustrating. That is all apart of your journey. Try to remember that deployments don’t last forever and you will be reunited with your spouse once again and the whole crazy thing will be over. You will get to homecoming, I promise. You will be back in his arms and the deployment will be a part of your memories, for good or for bad.
What advice would you give to someone facing their first deployment?
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The days/weeks/months leading up to the deployment, and all the anticipation you feel is often times, the worst part of it all. Once you get into a routine after their gone, you figure things out and things get better. Never underestimate yourself!
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This was a really great post! Thank so much! My husband will be leaving soon for his first deployment, so this is really great advice.
My recent post The Reality of Deployment
Great post and really hit home for me! Especially the part where I feel like I won't be strong enough.
Read a poem when in need of a spiritual lift . .http://3poemsaweek.blogspot.com/ thanks and good luck to you and your family.
Thank you!
My advice is “what choice do you have?” You have to make it through deployment; you get to choose HOW you will do so. Do you sit in your home and be miserable? Do you reach out and ask for help? Do you “put on your big girl panties” (which by the way is just the most vile but effective saying ever IMO)? You WILL make it through this deployment; you just need to choose how you want that to look and start working towards that.
So true! You really have to figure out how to make it through.