Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Deployment

Halfway Through a Deployment

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Halfway Through a Deployment

They have been gone for so many days now, so many days. But as you look at the calendar, you realize something exciting, you have hit the halfway point.

This fills you will joy because it tells you that you are making it through this deployment. It tells you that the days will actually pass and you will get through to the end.

When the deployment first started, you weren’t sure how you would make it to the first week, let alone the first month but now, here you are, halfway through a deployment.

You think about all the days you have crossed off your calendar, and all the special memories you were able to make, even though you felt that deployment ache through them all. You still tried to have fun, even if they weren’t around to share that fun with you.

You have taken so many pictures, enough to fill a book. You have sent a handful of care packages, knowing that each one made their day, sending them love across the miles. You start to have ideas of what to send for the next few months.

You think about your kids, and how they have handled things. The first half of this deployment hasn’t been without tears. But, you know you can be there for them on the lonely nights or when they really just want that hug from mommy or daddy and you can’t give it to them.

You take our your calendar, and you know you need to fill the dates up just like you did for the first half of the deployment. You know keeping busy is the way to go, even though doing so doesn’t always take away the loneliness that comes with a deployment.

In the back of your mind, you know that they could stay for longer than you think they are supposed to. You have been there before and a deployment extension is always something you think about. But you also want to have that faith that the deployment will end at the time you think it might, and have hope that this truly is the halfway point of the deployment.

You think about what the halfway point of a deployment really means. The halfway point of a deployment means you will soon have fewer days left that you have already been through. The halfway point of a deployment means you can do hard things. The halfway point of a deployment means you have climbed up the mountain and just need to make your way back down.

Deployment days don’t always move quickly, but they do move and reaching the halfway point of the deployment is evidence of that. Reaching that milestone is a reason to celebrate, and to think about all the things you were able to do, that you didn’t think you could.

If you have friends going through the deployment with you, you could make plans to celebrate. Dance and sing, and know that you are doing this, you are getting through this deployment, even if it is just one day at a time.

Treat yourself and order a yummy dinner, buy a new book, or start a new project. Do something to mark this milestone, and remember this accomplishment when you hit harder days ahead.

Deployments are rarely easy. Each one comes with its own challenges, based on so many different factors. But they all have a halfway point to celebrate and remind you how tough you really are.

Have you done anything special to celebrate the halfway mark of a deployment?

This is Your Military Life

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“I could re-join the Army,” he told me one day. We had been trying to figure out what he should do career-wise. What change he should make.

“Hmm…I don’t know about that,” I told him. “I’m not sure about that, we have a kid now.”

Back then, I couldn’t imagine a reality where I was home with my son and my husband was far away for months at a time. It just didn’t seem real. That type of life didn’t seem possible.

I laugh about that now. I think about all the solo parenting I have done over the years and what I thought was impossible, was very possible.

And that is one of the biggest things about military life. One of the biggest lessons you will learn. That you can do what you thought you couldn’t.

Maybe you will PCS overseas by yourself with a toddler, never having imagined that your first flight to Europe would look like that.

Maybe you will go through your first deployment in a brand new state, one you never thought you would ever visit, let alone live in, so many miles from home.

Maybe you will encounter the most difficult of days, and get through to the other side, wondering where you found the strength.

I strongly believe that through everything you go through as a military spouse, there will be a lesson there. Lessons you might not see right away. Lessons that might take some time to understand.

As hard as the deployments might be, you find ways to get through them. One day at a time.

You find your people, even if that takes longer than you would like. Even if that means having to say goodbye later on. You find people who will become your best friends, and you can go through this life together, even if you are miles away.

Even after 15 years, I still have my super frustrating days with the military. This summer, trips were canceled because of Guard duties. I kept trying to tell myself that this was all apart of this life, but doing that is easier said than done.

In between deployments, with no moves on the horizon, life can be pretty “normal” sometimes. You can get so used to military life just going along with your own life, without too many hiccups.

Your spouse gets home at a regular time, you enjoy the weekends together, and life just goes on. And then…orders come, or you hear rumors of deployments, and you are reminded that this is a military life. That you are a military family.

There is so much deployment advice out there. From staying busy to making friends, to trying not to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes all of that will work, and other times it won’t.

You might find yourself struggling more than everyone else. You might find yourself wondering how you can get through the next week of deployment, let alone the six months you have left. You can find yourself wishing for another type of life.

I get inspired by seasoned spouses. Those who have been doing this even longer than I have. They have so much wisdom for those of us in the weeds.

They have been there, pcsing with small children, back to back deployments, and always having to say goodbye to people they care about.

They have been there and can comfort and support when you are feeling down or unsure how the future will go.

Not everyone’s military journey looks the same. We all will go down different paths. But the military community is here for each other.

While not everyone you meet during this life will be supportive, I assure you most of us will be. We can lend a helping hand or a listening ear. We can tell you what worked for us, and what didn’t. And we can help each other through.

No matter how long you have been a military spouse, no matter how many deployments you have to go through or how many PCS moves you will make, remember, this is your military life.

This is the path you are on and you are stronger than you realize. You might not always feel that way, I certainly don’t, but time will show you that you are. The military life isn’t always easy, but it’s yours. Every step of the way.

How Deployments May Change You For the Better

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How Deployments May Change You For the Better

I have been forever changed by the years my husband has either been deployed or has been away from us. I am a different person because of them.

They are my past and will always impact my future. They have changed the way I parent, how I make friends, and will influence the choices I will make in the future.

Looking back I tend to cringe when I remember all the bad. The hard nights, the sad nights, the rough days, the breakdowns, and all of that. But if I really look into it, I know I have learned and grown as a person because of them. I know that in some ways, deployments have changed me for the better.

Gaining that independence

As much as I hate having to take care of the house all by myself when my husband is gone, as much as I hate having to be the only one making certain decisions, it has made me into a more independent person.

I have had to become one. I had no other choice. This isn’t to say I never feel like I need my husband because I do, just that I know I can do things on my own if I need to. It is a little freeing. And a little scary.

I can sympathize more with others

If I hear someone else is getting ready to send their spouse off to war, I can totally sympathize with that. I can be a listening ear, someone to talk to about the separation, and I truly understand how hard it can be to say goodbye.

I get deployment life and I can help someone else get through it. I have experienced different types of deployments too. I have been through long ones and short ones. Scary ones and more mild ones. I get that part of military life and I can offer support to others who might need it.

I am not going to take my husband for granted

I am not going to wish him away. I am going to enjoy the moments together. I will remember how hard it was to live without him. To spend over a year without him in our home.

I am going to try hard to always remember that. But doing so isn’t always easy. When my husband went away for his two-week training with the National Guard, the time apart felt close to impossible. I really had to give myself a talking to. I have gone so much longer without talking to him, I should be able to handle this.

I am more adaptable

Over the years I have found that what works for me during deployments or time apart, might not work for everyone. Staying busy helps me get through a separation, but that isn’t always an easy thing to do. And for some, just trying to do so is a big struggle.

Everyone’s situation is different so not everything is going to work for every military spouse. I have different needs now in my 40s with older kids than when I went through my first deployment in my 20s with babies.

You live and you learn in this life, and things are always changing. The key is to finding what works for you during your current deployment and always trying to find new ways to get through.

What about you? What have deployments changed about you???

How to Say Goodbye to your Spouse as they Leave for Deployment

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How to Say Goodbye to your Spouse as they Leave for Deployment

Some of the hardest days of my life as a military spouse have been the days I have had to say goodbye to my husband. To give him one more hug, one more kiss, and hope and pray he would return to us. To watch him as he said goodbye to our children, knowing that they will be in different stages when he returns.

Saying goodbye is never easy.

Saying goodbye to your spouse as they go off to war is one of the hardest things you will have to do as a military spouse.

Our goodbyes have been different depending on the deployment and the situation. Some we have stayed around for a while and waited until we saw him leave. Others we have dropped him off and drove away before he got on the bus. I learned after the first deployment that leaving earlier was easier for all of us.

If you are getting ready to have to say goodbye to your spouse for a deployment or other reason, here are some ideas to help get through that day:

1. Do your goodbye your way. Different people handle the goodbyes in different ways. Your spouse might have a certain way he wants to say goodbye, you might have a certain way you want to say goodbye. Take some time to talk things over and figure out what works best for your family.

2. Cry if you need to. If you need to cry, do so. I believe for some of us crying is getting the sadness out and it is a step we have to take to get to where we can accept what is going on.

I have said goodbye to my husband and cried in the car and I have said goodbye and no tears came until I got home. It just depended on my mood. It’s okay to cry if you need to. Deployments are sad. Tears might come.

3. Plan the first few days. If you can figure out exactly what you are going to do after you say your goodbyes, it will be an easier start to the deployment. You might want to plan to rent a movie and order pizza, you might want to get together with friends, you might just want to go to bed early and call it a night. Make a plan and then you will have some direction once you leave the drop off location.

4. Call a friend. Or not. Some people want to talk to others as soon as they have said goodbye, others want some alone time. Think about what would work best for you. If you feel the need, call a friend or family member.

If you don’t want to talk to anyone, don’t feel like you have to. Take the time to get used to your new normal and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not calling them as soon as your spouse has left.

If you need to notify family, send out a group text or message. Let them know you will be up for chatting in a few days. Most people will respect that.

5. Remember, goodbye means the countdown can begin. Waiting for a deployment to start is so rough. Once they actually leave, the countdown can begin. Each day you mark off your calendar is one day closer to them being home. As you say your goodbyes, remember that the deployment or time away is just a short period of time in the scheme of things. Time will pass and they will be back with you again.

If you are in a place where you will be saying goodbye soon, I am not going to lie, doing this will probably be one of the hardest things you will have to do. Know that you are not alone in what you are going through and that a lot of other military spouses around you are feeling the same way.

What do you do to get through the goodbyes of military life? How do you handle saying goodbye to your spouse over and over again?

Order a Brave Crate When Your Spouse Deploys, You Will Be Glad You Did

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Order a Brave Crate When Your Spouse Deploys, You Will Be Glad You Did

I received a free box for review!

I love get personal mail. Or a package. Or really anything fun. It lifts my spirits and even more so during a deployment.

That is why when I first heard about Brave Crate, I thought it was such an amazing idea! Monthly boxes just for military spouses going through a deployment? Brilliant!

I am always super excited when I get the chance to review one of the Brave Crate boxes. Each one is different and filled with so many amazing products.

Why IS Brave Crate so amazing???

  • Monthly Mail- Who doesn’t love getting mail? I LOVE it, even more so when my husband was away. I love fun boxes and cool treats. And this monthly box? It is made ALL for the military spouse.
  • Try new products- One of the best things about a monthly box is that it is filled with new products, many I have never seen before. This helps me find new small businesses to order from or to find a new product I can use and love.
  • Made just for us- I LOVE that Brave Crate is made just for military spouses going through a deployment. They have challenges and ways to use the products to get to your goals.
  • The Brave Crate Community- Did you know Brave Crate also has a Facebook group? They are pretty amazing and can be a good place to talk deployments, find new friends, and gush about the latest box.

I just received the August Brave Crate box and it made me so happy! From the cute clips to the jade crystal roller! This box was fantastic!

Here is what I got:

So if your spouse is getting ready to deploy or if they already have, make sure to sign up for your own Brave Crate monthly subscription!

How much does Brave Crate cost?

The box is $33.99/month for a 6-month subscription. Shipping for your box is only $6 no matter where you are! Brave Crate also offers monthly and 3-month subscription options.

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code SWCL and receive $5 off your first box!

Saying That Goodbye, As they Head Off to War

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It’s time to say goodbye.

I don’t want to. I really don’t want to.

I want him to stay here forever. Stay with me forever. But that’s not how military life works.

It’s time to say goodbye and I need to be strong. For him. For my kids.

We drive up to the gate. That horrible gate. The one he will walk through after we say our goodbyes.

My tears start to flow, but still, I try to hold them back. He hugs me as he gets out of the car. This is it. This is really happening.

I have been here before. I have done this before. This isn’t new.

And yet, it feels new. It feels just like it did the first time he had to go so many years ago.

He grabs his bag, I grab my boys. We don’t want to draw this out.

He puts his bag where it needs to go and comes back to us. We can stay. We can wait until it is time for him to go. But we decide not to.

We say goodbye then. Knowing the extra hour or two might just drag this out. We say goodbye and then we let go.

I give him that last hug and that last kiss and that last goodbye. He hugs and kisses the boys. And kisses me one last time.

And I tell him what I always tell him, “come back to me,” and he says what he always says, “I will, I always will.”

And so I grab the boys and we get in the car. We have said goodbye. We have kissed and hugged that one last time.

And I leave him there, this man I love so much. The one I married and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Unsure about what the next few months would bring.

As I get the boys in the car, I tell them that we got this and we are going to have an adventure when their dad is gone.

That we will make this time apart fun for them and that the days might be hard at times, we will get through it. I am not sure if they totally understand what I am saying. They are so young but I tell them it will all be okay because I feel like they need to hear it. I feel like I need to say it.

And so we head back home, me trying to keep it together. It’s day 1. The first day of deployment.

It’s day one and the countdown can begin. It’s day one and I know the day will be hard.

And as time moves on, as it always does, I look back on that day and how hard it was to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to the man I love, as he heads off to war. Saying goodbye as he heads off to a dangerous place. Saying goodbye as we start this next deployment.

And even through the goodbyes are so hard, time passes and we get through the deployment. Homecoming comes, and we see him again. A little stronger than we were before.

We know there could be more deployments in the future, we know that we will have to say goodbye again. But as military spouses, we know we can get through what military life brings us, one day at a time.

What Milspouses Need When They Are Feeling Lonely

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Loneliness and deployments go hand and hand, don’t they? It just seems to be apart of the deal. We miss our spouse or partner when they are away, and that loneliness can come after too many days apart.

I know I feel it. Sometimes very strongly.

Loneliness can hit at the most random of times. From when I see another couple holding hands or our favorite song comes on the radio…yes I sometimes still listen to the radio, don’t judge 😉

Right after my husband left for his first deployment, I was sitting with a few other wives. We were waiting to see the men drive by on the buses, so we could wave goodbye one last time. As we sat there, we really didn’t know what we were really dealing with.

We didn’t know then how hard the deployment would be. How scary the deployment would feel at times. We really had no idea how lonely we would feel over the months our husbands were deployed.

As the deployment got going, the feeling of loneliness took over me. I remember sitting in my bathroom, after my son went to sleep, wondering how I was going to get through that time without my husband. He is the one person I could talk to about anything.

Even the silly things. The everyday things. The things spouses talk about with one another.

So what can you do when you are feeling so lonely during a deployment? What do milspouses need when they are feeling this way?

A true community

Maybe it is online, maybe it is friends at your duty station, but you need to find some type of community. A group of people to help you through and help you get through that loneliness.

Finding that community can be quite difficult sometimes. You might not feel like you belong or that anyone else cares. But people do, many people do. You just have to find them.

Military spouse communities can be your best support. Other spouses who get it and understand. Other spouses who know all about that deployment loneliness and can get what you are going through.

A good support system

Your support system goes even deeper than your community. It is your parents and your siblings and your friends back at home. It is your milspouse best friend and your civilian neighbors that can help you out when you need it.

Us military spouses need people we can vent to without judgment. We need people who we can call if we have to take a kid to the ER or need someone to help us out with some type of issue. And we need people we can connect with when that loneliness sets in.

Ways to stay busy

Staying busy is one of the best things you can do to get through a deployment. Even more so when that loneliness sets in. You can stay busy in your home, working on projects. You can stay busy by going out, and even hanging out with other people.

Although right now that might be a bit difficult with 2020 and all, normally, finding those friends to spend time with will speed up your deployment.

Back when we were going through a deployment in Germany, a friend and I would let each other know when we needed a “steak night.” That meant, going to one of our houses, ordering pizza for the kids, and making ourselves a nice steak dinner.

It was a way to stay busy, spend time with friends, and that helped so much with the loneliness both of us were feeling.

What do you do when you are starting to feel lonely during a deployment?

When It Feels Like Military Life Isn’t Fair

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Military life isn’t fair. It really isn’t. One of the mistakes I made going into this life was thinking military life might be fair. I know life isn’t fair but I guess I just assumed that the Military would be. The military is structured and organized, right?

What on earth was I thinking???

I thought that if you turned your paperwork in on time, you would get a quick response. Nope. Sometimes you have to wait because so and so went on a two-week vacation.

Other times your paperwork gets lost or sent to the wrong department. You really have to be on top of it. We stopped getting our BAH once because we didn’t send in a rental agreement, only no one told us we needed to and it took a while to figure out why that was happening.

I thought that if you went through one deployment, you would get a break on the next one. Nope. It really just depends on the unit and luck. Two soldiers can enlist the exact same day in the exact same MOS and have a completely different career path.

You can control some of this, but not everything. Sometimes what happens is just random and that is hard to get over when you think there should be some sort of fairness to this type of life. I learned that fairness has no place in a deployment schedule.

And this is another reason why you really never know what you signed up for. You can never really see how military life is going to pan out. You just have to “buckle your seat belt” and get ready for the ride.

You have to hope for the best while also preparing for the worst. And that isn’t always easy to do.

I have learned that you just can’t plan everything out based on what you think should happen. You can’t even plan based on what has happened in your spouse’s career in the past. Things change you really just have to go with the flow.

I am such a planner. I want to know what is going on, what time it is going on, where it will be happening, and what I need to do to prepare.

Military life makes this hard sometimes.

You might get little notice for something. Some people move with just a few weeks notice. Others go through the deploying one week, not deploying the next to end up deploying anyways.

I had to let go of the idea that everything will lead to a nicely wrapped future. I don’t think that is true for anyone. If I could go back in time and tell myself anything it would be that.

I would tell myself that things will happen that I have no control over and that I just have to roll with the changes. I think life would have been a little bit easier if I had realized that in the beginning.

If you are new to Military life and you are already feeling the unfairness of it all, take a step back.

Realize that it is going to be this way sometimes. That the best thing to do is try to roll with what is going on, vent to those who understand, and figure out a way to get through the difficult situation.

Look for the good benefits that this life brings, they are there. If it wasn’t for the Military, I wouldn’t have met the friends I did or traveled to the places I was able to go. I would be a different person and I am not sure I would be as strong.

Try not to be jealous of others. Be happy for them because you never know what might happen in the future. Try to enjoy the journey as best as you can.

Find friends who get what you are going through, depend on family who wants to help you, and try to support others when you can.

The First 30 Days of a Deployment

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Oh deployments!

Such a huge part of military life. Some members of the military deploy more than others, but as a military spouse, you most likely will be dealing with them on and off during your spouse’s career.

The pre-deployment period can be pretty rough, and then the deployment starts. And once it does, you may be left feeling like you have such a huge challenge in front of you. You may be feeling like you don’t even know where to start to get through the time apart.

I remember reading in a magazine years ago that the first 30 days of a breakup are the hardest. This followed with an article about what to do each day to move ahead.

A deployment is like a breakup in some ways. Although it is one that doesn’t last forever. You go through a lot of similar feelings of loss and sadness. Of wondering if there was a way your spouse didn’t have to get deployed and then eventually coming to some type of acceptance.

So here we go…

Your guide to the first 30 days of deployment.

Day 1 will be the day they leave, usually, it has been the morning for us so I did have a full day to get through before bedtime. If your spouse deploys at night, you can call the next day Day 1.

Day 1- Breathe. Relax. Get your kids together and tell them that you are all going to get through this. That you are there for them and you will make it through.

Day 2- Come up with a plan. A list of things you will do when your spouse is gone. Work on your hobbies? Redo the kitchen? Come up with at least 10 different projects you can focus on.

Day 3- Make a list of 5 friends you can call. When you want to get together with someone. Or if you really need something. Don’t be afraid to ask for help during the deployment.

Day 4- Buy some pretty stationary to write love letters on. You will be glad you did.

Day 5- Call your mom and cry your eyes out. If you don’t have a good relationship with her, call your Mother-In-Law, your sister, or someone you can cry to. It’s okay to cry about this.

Day 6- Go get some ice cream or a yummy treat. You need it. You have made it almost a week.

Day 7- Find a new book to read. Go to the library and pick out a few. Ask your friends for suggestions.

Day 8– Start your first care package. Make it a themed one. Put all your spouse’s favorite items in there.

Day 9- Start on your project list if you haven’t already. Complete at least one of them. Want to paint something? Pick a day you will do that, buy the paint, and get started.

Day 10- Plan to have people over. Don’t know anyone in town? See if you can attend an event to meet people. (This might not apply if you are reading this in 2020 unfortunately.)

Day 11- Take your kids somewhere you have never been before. Maybe it is a new park. Maybe it is a new mall. Do something you haven’t done in the past. And take pictures.

Day 12– Write in your journal. Get it all out. Don’t have one? Go buy something pretty and start using it. You will be glad you did.

Day 13- Make a nice dinner. No cereal tonight. You are almost two weeks in. You got this.

Day 14- Plan a trip during the deployment. Make plans to visit home. If you can’t afford to travel, try a day trip. Put something on the calendar to look forward to.

Day 15- Try to attend an FRG meeting, even if it is just a virtual one. Find out when the next one is and put it on the calendar. They might get a bad rap sometimes but they also can be a good way to connect.

Day 16- Start another one of your projects. Make plans to get it done.

Day 17- Binge watch a show. It’s okay. If you can’t binge watch, find time to watch a few episodes. Take your mind off the stresses of the last few weeks.

Day 18- Buy some bubble bath and enjoy. Grab your book and soak for a bit. You might have to wait until the kids are in bed but it will be worth it.

Day 19- Send another love letter. Make it silly. Spray some of your perfume. Why not?

Day 20- Talk to your spouse about an after deployment trip. Just throw out some ideas. You will want to go somewhere if only for a day or two.

Day 21- Invite a friend out for coffee even if you don’t feel like it. Talking with others will be good for you. It will be nice to get out and enjoy some girl time.

Day 22- Buy a new piece of clothing. On a tight budget? Hit the thrift stores. Just find something new for you.

Day 23- Join a new group. Heard of a book club you always wanted to try? Send an email and find out more details. Connecting with others will really help the time go by faster.

Day 24- Plan a potluck to celebrate one month down. Invite other spouses going through a deployment. It might seem like a little thing but making it through that first month is a big deal. (And if this is still 2020, see if you can plan a Zoom event with some friends. They don’t even have to live in your city.)

Day 25- Call his mom. She might be worried. She might be lonely. It will be good to hear from you. You are the two people in the world that miss that person more than anyone else.

Day 26- Start exercising every day if you don’t already do this. It is a great stress reliever.

Day 27- Plan another package. Ask your spouse what they need.

Day 28- Start a blog. Blogging during a deployment can be a great way to get things out. Don’t forget about OPSEC. And let me know you started it 🙂

Day 29- Take your camera out for a photo walk. It doesn’t matter what kind of camera. It will do your heart good to get out there and take some new pictures.

Day 30- Celebrate the fact that you are now 30 days in. You are on your way. You got this deployment! You are making it, even if it is just a day at a time.

Going through a deployment right now? I hope this helps a bit!

Just know that you are not alone and a lot of us Military spouses have been through it before.

Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment PDF???

Of Bubble Baths and Deployment Days

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I remember the day…so long ago now. It was the middle of my husband’s 1st deployment to Iraq. I was in Germany with my baby and two-year-old.

I can’t tell you why this one day was so hard. I just remember it being so. I remember being way too stressed out about everything I had to do.

Take care of the baby, take the preschooler to school, go to the Commissary, clean the house, worry about my husband, put the baby down for a nap, wake the baby up to get the preschooler, take him to the park to get his energy out, and figure out how to get through the day.

It was probably late afternoon and I was struggling. But I just had to push through. I just had to get to bedtime.

Back then I would start dinner at 4:30. I know that seems early but I had to get these kids going on a bedtime routine. As soon as I made it to 4:30, I felt like I had accomplished something, another deployment day was ending.

On this particular day, getting to that 4:30 time seemed extra difficult, but I had a plan. Dinner, get the boys ready for bed, get them to bed, and then…me time!

I needed this me time so bad. Especially on this day.

Me time is so important to me, and I need it. Over the years, how I found that me time has changed.

These days, with two teenagers and a 9-year-old, I can do a lot more. I can leave my oldest in charge and go anywhere I want to go. Target, the movies, out to eat, or to see a friend. I have a lot more freedom, even when my husband is gone.

Back then, in that little apartment in Schweinfurt Germany, things were quite different. I had to find small windows to find that me time, all within the walls of my home.

A bubble bath with a good book became my saving grace. There was just something about running the water, adding the soap, and climbing in after a long day with the boys that gave me hope. There is something about water that just relaxes me and helps me stay focused.

Finding that time to myself, even with sleeping children in the next room, was a must. During so much of that deployment, I found myself in survival mode, just trying to get through. But that me time allowed me to start to thrive a bit, if only for an hour or two.

Years later, I still use a bubble bath to help me relax. Even if my husband is home, and I am not dealing with toddlers anymore. I find the water to be healing and a great way to let out the stress of the day.

If you feel like you are in a place where going out of your house for me time is close to impossible, see what you can do at home. There must be something or some way for you to find that time for yourself, even if it is just for an hour, even for just 10 minutes.

And if it is hard to find that time, know it won’t always be that way. If your spouse is deployed, it can seem like you have neverending days of being the only parent in the house, the only one who can help the kids, the only one who can be in charge. But deployments eventually end, time moves on, and you will be in a different season of your life.

How do you like to find me time? What works when your spouse is deployed and it is harder to find?