Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Deployment

How to Get Through a Deployment With Toddlers

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How to Get Through a Deployment With Toddlers

Deployment #2, my husband left, and it was just me, my two-year-old, and my four-year-old. A deployment with two toddlers.

If you have ever had a toddler, you know how much work they can be. Toddlers are a handful, even the easy ones. And here I was home with two of them, with my husband too many miles away.

How to Get Through a Deployment With Toddlers

I was a SAHM and didn’t have a spouse coming home at the end of the day. I didn’t have a spouse who could watch the kids for 15 minutes so that I could take a shower. A spouse that could help pick up the house after the kids went to bed. A spouse who I could have adult conversations with after the kids went to bed.

During a deployment, I didn’t have him to be home with the boys so I could go out for a few hours by myself. I didn’t have him to be home when I went out to dinner with my friends. And that part of solo parenting just made life with a toddler a little more complicated.

Whether you are a stay at home mom, with the kids at home during the day, or a working mom, whose kids go to daycare, going through a deployment with toddlers is going to be a challenge.

How to Get Through a Deployment With Toddlers

You will have days that drain you, and days you feel like you got this.

You will have days where you wonder how you will get through, and you will have days when you know that you can. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you are going through a deployment with toddlers:

  • Find some good friends you can have playdates with. Find people you can vent to about what your kids are doing that is stressing you out. Find people who understand when you are having a bad day and just need something extra to help you smile.
  • Find fun activities you can do with your kids. See if you receive any free hours at hourly care. Hourly care will be your lifesaver. You can also trade babysitting with friends. Find a way to have some time to yourself, even if you spend it grocery shopping.
  • Remember, things will not always be this way. You won’t always be the only adult in the house. You won’t be the only one to be able to keep up with the cleaning. You won’t be the only one who is there to take care of the kids.
    How to Get Through a Deployment With Toddlers
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This is hard, especially when you are surrounded by other moms solo parenting their kids too. This is when trading things like babysitting or even cooking meals can be a good idea. Get creative and find ways to help one another out.
  • Don’t feel you like you have to do everything people want you to do. Family will want you to come visit, if you think traveling solo with toddlers is too much, ask if someone can come see you instead. Maybe an after deployment trip with all of you would be better. On the other hand, going home for an extended visit with your kids can allow you to have a bit of a break while your family can help you. Weigh the pros and cons and figure out what will work for you.

Deployments with kids can be difficult, no matter the age. Having a toddler is just simply tiring and being the only parent during that stage can make things more complicated. Find ways to stay busy, connect with other people, and take each day as it comes.

What helps you the most if you are going through a deployment with toddlers? What tips could you offer other moms?

 

At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

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At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

Deployments are no joke. I hate deployments, and yet I know they are a part of the military life experience. And while there are so many ways to make it through a deployment, sometimes you just have to suck it up and get through the days apart, even if you don’t want to.

The biggest thing is making sure you have what you need to get through the deployment. This is going to look different for everyone. Some people love wine, others, not so much. Some people love chocolate, and others perfect another type of candy.

And when I talk about what you need to get through a deployment, food and drinks can be easy to bring up, but in reality, you need more than that. You need good friends by your side, hobbies to focus on, a possible career path for yourself, and even something like a deployment haven in your home.

Basically, anything that will help you through the time apart.

If you are not sure what this is for you, think about what makes you happy and what can brighten your day. Think about what has worked in the past, and go from there.

Sucking it up is simply finding ways to cope.

It is not dwelling on all the negatives but working towards enjoy life, even when they are away. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever be sad, or won’t ever need to cry. It doesn’t mean you have to think the deployment is the best thing ever or that you are never allowed to vent about what you are going through.

So if you are just starting your deployment, or are in the middle of one, make sure you are surrounding yourself with people and things that will help you. That will make the deployment much easier for you and time will go by a little faster.

Make sure to read my other deployment posts! 

When You Hate Deployments

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When You Hate Deployments

Our first deployment came about nine months after my life as a military spouse first began. This was after spending about 4.5 months apart waiting to join my husband in Germany. He left the following August, and that deployment didn’t end until November of the following year.

That was such a long time to be away from my husband. Even now, all these years later, I can’t even believe we got through that. I had a baby during that deployment, a toddler, and lived in Germany, far away from family and what we were used to.

Over the years my husband deployed three more times. I got through each of these the best I could. I got through them one day at a time, one hour at a time sometimes. I somehow made it through those challenges.

I thought that my deployment days were over, but as we are starting to possibly get ready for deployment #5, I am starting to get a bit nervous. There is so much on my mind, and I just don’t know how that time apart is going to go.

When You Hate Deployments

See, I hate deployments.

Sure, there are benefits from them. You can grow as a person, you can do things you otherwise wouldn’t, you can find ways to become a better person.

You can bond with other spouses, you can learn more about yourself, and you can feel stronger than you ever have once they come home.

But I hate deployments.

And although my kids are much older this time, I am still nervous. No, I won’t have to change all the diapers by myself, but I will have two teenagers during the deployment.

All my kids will be in school, but I will be too, with all the stress that brings.

When You Hate Deployments

And I will still miss my husband just as much. The one I decided I wanted to spend my life with. The one I have so much fun with. My biggest cheerleader.

So as I look ahead, what can I do when I already know how much deployments suck? What can I say to myself to help get in a better mood about this? What can I do to make the future deployment less painful?

I am going to try to think positively

I am going to go into this deployment trying to think positively about the next year. This will be hard to do. But I want to start this deployment with the hope that everything will be okay. I want to go into the deployment without hating it and to do that I have to change my thinking about what is to come.

I am making lists of people and things that will help me

I know I have people I can depend on. I know there are things that will help me through. I am going to make a list of these people and things. From who I can call on my hardest deployment days, to the easy meals to make during one of those deployment nights when cooking is the last thing I want to do.

When You Hate Deployments

I am going to remind myself the deployment is not forever

This is something I will have to repeat to myself over and over. Deployments don’t last forever; deployments don’t last forever, deployments don’t last forever. They start, they are, then they end.

It might seem a bit strange to have to remind yourself of this, but I know for myself, I can get stuck in feeling like the deployment will last forever. Even when I know that logically that is impossible, my heart doesn’t always understand.

I am going to give myself permission to cry

If I need to cry, I am going to cry. But I am also going to work on having good days, even though my husband will be across the ocean.

I am going to have to stay strong for my kids, I am going to have to be there to help them through the deployment, and I am going to have to be strong for them as well as for myself.

But somedays, I might need to cry. That is how I get the frustration and sadness out. That is one step to help feeling better about everything. Crying might just be what I need to do.

I am going to take it one day at a time

I am going to take this deployment one day a time because sometimes that is all I can do. There are going to be challenges along the way, and not every day is going to be a good one. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to handle what comes my way.

Not everyone likes to count down the days of a deployment, but I do. (Not online of course, just in my own journal, OPSEC and everything.) I like to see how far I have come. I like to know how much longer I will have to go. I like to know where I am in the middle of the deployment.

And I think it is good to celebrate the little things during a deployment. I have been in FRGs that have 100-day parties. I get excited about a new movie coming out, or a new book release. I make plans, and make memories with my kids, even when he is gone.

I know during our next deployment there will be days when I will wake and say, “man, I hate deployments.” However, I am going to try hard not to be too sad and upset the whole time he is gone. That isn’t going to be good for me, my kids, or even my husband.

He has a job to do, and he will need to get it done. And I will be here, cheering him along, making each day count, and trying to thrive more than just survive during the deployment.

Make sure to visit my deployment section for more blog posts on getting through your next deployment. You can also join my blog’s Facebook group for support during your military journey.

 

The End of a Deployment is A Good Time to Try Something New

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The End of a Deployment is A Good Time to Try Something New

So you are at the 8-month mark, finally! You have weeks to go, you are counting down the days in your head (not online of course, OPSEC and all,) and you are not quite sure you are really at this place.

How did you make it this far? One day at a time? Somehow you are at the end of the deployment. And now things are dragging again. Time is moving at a snail’s pace.

So close, yet so far.

What can you do about that?

Why not start a new hobby? Is there anything you have been wanting to learn? Anything that you can put time into?

What about a new habit? Maybe start working out again? Or cooking different types of meals? Think of something you can change to mix things up a bit.

When the days look the same, they are more likely to drag. Maybe starting a Friday night movie night, or Taco Tuesday night is just what your family needs to get things moving again.

You can also start thinking about after they get home. Will you go on a trip somewhere? Will you guys be pcsing soon after?

Focus on something, anything, other than the fact that the deployment is almost over. I know, easier said than done, but still.

Think about how you can keep staying busy all the way until the day they come home. Keep moving, keep learning, and keep getting out there. That will make the last weeks go by a bit faster and less chance of feeling like you will never get to that well-needed finish line.

Deployments do end. Homecoming will eventually happen. And your service member will be back in your arms again.

What do you do during the last weeks of a deployment to make sure time still passes quickly for you?  

 

What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

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What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

I have been through my share of earthquakes growing up in California. Fortunately, I was never in any danger from any of them.

After moving to the south, I have been through my fair share of tornado warnings, and fortunately, none of them have come too close to our house.

The biggest issue we have dealt with when it came to weather when my husband was deployed was losing power during a storm, for about 37 hours. While we didn’t have any real damage, and USAA replaced all our food, it was a struggle not knowing when the power would come back on, and being on my own with three little kids during the power outage.

What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

Hurricanes, fires, tornadoes, tsunamis, volcanoes, earthquakes, and even massive snowstorms can cause us to panic a little bit, or even more than a bit. We want to feel safe in our homes, but mother nature doesn’t allow us to always feel that way. Mother nature also doesn’t care if our spouse is deployed or not.

Dealing with a natural disaster with a deployed spouse is a bit terrifying, even for the most independent military spouse. You want them right by your side during this time, but they can’t be.

So what can you do when there is a natural disaster and your spouse is deployed?

Don’t panic

What you want to try not to do, is overly panic. I know it can be difficult, natural disasters are scary, especially if you have never been through that type of disaster before. You want to try to stay calm so you can figure out how to prepare yourself and your family.  You want to be able to think with a clear head.

Take warnings seriously

Blowing off a weather warning can sometimes be easy to do. There can be a lot of worry over a storm, and nothing comes of it. However, this isn’t always the case. It is better to be overly prepared than not prepared enough. Take any warnings about your area seriously.

What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

Decide what you are going to do

If you live in an area that can get hurricanes, make sure you talk over with your spouse what you will do if one comes while they are away. What is your game plan? Do you have family or friends you can stay with?

In the case of tornados, make sure you know where your family is supposed to go once the alarms sound. Talk this over with your children, so they are aware of what to do. Practice earthquake drills, and be prepared for whatever type of natural disaster might hit your area.

Emergency kits

Put together your emergency kit, just in case. You might not need it, but it is a good idea to have. Check out Disaster Prep: 8 Things to Have on Hand for an idea of what you need in your kit. Do your research so you have the supplies you need.

Band together

Band together with your neighbors and military spouse friends. If you have a close friend, you might want to hang out together until the storm has passed. See how you can help one another out. You can do things like trade childcare as you each take turns going to the store to prepare your home for the upcoming storm or just be there for one another.

What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

Follow the news

This is the time to watch the news during a deployment. Follow what is going on, you don’t want to be caught unaware. In our area, under a tornado warning, the news will show when the threat is supposed to hit your area by the minute. Make sure your weather radio always has working batteries and that you always have a way of being notified of a warning even if you are sleeping.

Here are some website and resources about natural disasters to help you:

10 Ways for Military Families to Prep Before Hurricane Florence

Disaster Preparedness 101

Military Family Preparedness

Creating a Family Emergency Plan

How military families should prepare for natural disasters

Steps to Take After a Flood, Fire or Other Natural Disaster

Hurricane Evacuations, Military Entitlements, and Insurance Coverage

Tips To Make Your Home Earthquake Ready

Red Cross- Find An Open Shelter

Sesame Street- Support After An Emergency

Prepare for Wildfire

Tornado Safety Tips

Tornado Warning: 7 Ways to Prepare Yourself

Another Hurricane Is on the Way: Is Your Military Family Prepared?

The MilSpouse’s Guide to Catastrophic Weather

Prepare for a Tsunami

Pets and Animals

Please stay safe if you are in harm’s way. Pay attention, and know you can get through this, as hard as it might seem.

When They Miss Stuff

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When They Miss Stuff

Your service member doesn’t have to be deployed to miss stuff. This can happen at any time. Maybe they have a school to go to, maybe they have extra training to attend, maybe they have a 24 hours CQ. As military spouses, we get used to this…sort of.

We know they can’t be there for everything, we even know that had they not joined the military, their civilian careers could keep them from missing things too. If we are a national guard or reserves spouse, we already know that from experience.

Still…

When They Miss Stuff

When they miss stuff, we still get frustrated about it.

When they miss that first day of kindergarten, and you have to video chat with them about how it went later on.

When they miss driver’s training, and you wonder why you, the more paranoid parent has to be in charge of this.

When they miss your 30th birthday, and you know, even if you celebrate later, it won’t be the same.

Sometimes they will miss things, and it won’t bother you at all. You are used to doing this type of stuff alone. Have they ever been able to attend a parent-teacher conference? No, you simply stopped expecting that once your child got into the 4th grade.

When They Miss Stuff

But still…there is a part of you that wishes they didn’t have to miss so much.

There is a part of you that wishes that you didn’t worry so much that they will miss you son’s high school graduation, or sending your daughter off to college. That they would never have missed a birth, the first steps, or the first words.

That there would have been some way for them to serve in the military, and not miss anything important.

But you know that isn’t the world we live in. You know you have to do so much of this alone, even if your civilian friends never have to. You know this is just part of the military life.

You do what you can to include your spouse. You send them photos, and videos, and try to tell them about the event as best as you can.

You hope and pray that they will be there the next time.

That although they missed your 1st son’s birth, they will be there for your second. That even though they missed your 10th anniversary, that they will be there for your 15th. That even though they missed one birthday, they would be there for the next one.

We find military spouse friends that understand what we go through. Those who also potty trained alone, and started solids alone, and did so much of the early baby years without a partner in the house.

We connect with others who know what it can be like to assume that their spouse will be there for something and then at the last minute find out they won’t be. It would have been better to think they couldn’t come in the first place.

We have had to change birthday party dates, paid extra to change flight tickets, and even postpone weddings because they had to do something military related. We get frustrated, but we do what we have to do. We make the best of the time we have together and hope they will be around more than they are apart.

When They Miss Stuff

You miss things because sometimes you simply can’t be in the same place at the same time.

You have to decide which kid will have to go without, or who will have to deal with the disappointment of their mom or dad missing one more thing. You have to work to help your kids through the loss because they often don’t understand why their military parent had to miss something so important.

You listen to people say that parents need to be there for this, that and the other. But you know that your spouse had to be gone during that time, and there was nothing you could do about that. You make the best of that loss; you hope your kids will be okay and move on because dwelling on the fact that they were not there for the first few months of your daughter’s life,  isn’t going to do anyone any good.

As a military spouse, you know your spouse will miss stuff. More than their fair sure. You do what you can to include them; you do what you can to stay strong, even if you want them there more than anything else.

You make things work because you have to, and you want to support your service member through this life they have chosen, through the good and the bad.

What has been the hardest thing for your spouse to have missed because of military life?

6 Tips For Surviving a Long Distance Relationship That Seems Like it Will Last Forever

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6 Tips For Surviving a Long Distance Relationship That Seems Like it Will Last Forever

If you have ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how hard they can be. All you want is to live in the same area as your loved one but for whatever reason, you can’t. Maybe your boyfriend goes to college across the country from where you went to college, maybe you met someone from another state on your last vacation, or maybe you are dating or married to a service member whose military service takes them away from you.

6 Tips For Surviving a Long Distance Relationship That Seems Like it Will Last Forever

Whatever the reason you are in an LDR, know that they never last forever and you can get through that time apart.

Here are six tips for surviving a long distance relationship that seems like it will last forever.

Live where you live, not where they do

When I was with one of my college boyfriends, we were in a long-distance relationship too, and I made a big mistake. I tried to stay so connected to him where he was, that I missed out on living where I was. I would stay home just to talk to him on the phone, I wouldn’t go out and make friends because I had him.

And in the end, I was miserable. Living that way isn’t good. Make sure to live your life where you are currently living, even if your loved one is far away.

Make plans to be together

Since people are in long distance relationships for different reasons, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to live closer to one another. Maybe all it would take is one of you moving to another city. Maybe you just need to be okay with leaving your hometown to join your military boyfriend at his first duty station.

While this is very personal and will be different for everyone, see if there is anything you can change about your situation. There might just a way to make some changes so that you no longer have to be in a long distance relationship.

6 Tips For Surviving a Long Distance Relationship That Seems Like it Will Last Forever

But look at the big picture

While making some changes can lead to you being together, you also shouldn’t just give up your dreams because the distance is too hard. You might be in school, trying to finish your degree. He might need to go away and finish up a few years in Germany before you two can get married and start your lives together.

There could be good long-term reasons why you are in a long-distance relationship at the moment, and you want to be careful about messing that up. Love can be tricky sometimes and being careful about any big decision when it comes to making plans is a good idea.

Talk often, but not too often

You want to work on your relationship, even across the miles. You want to talk often and communicate with one another. This is all very important when you can’t see them in person all of the time.

However, sometimes you can talk too often. This happens a lot in military circles. The service member calls twice a day, and the military spouse has trouble coming up with things to say. She feels too pressured, and that gets frustrating.

Getting on the same page about how often you will talk is a good idea. Maybe you won’t call every single day, but you can send text messages whenever you feel the need. Going over expectations is essential.

Write love letters

Don’t discount getting out the pen and paper and writing an actual love letter. These are so special and give you both a way to get your feelings to one another out. They make lovely keepsakes down the line if you two stay together for the long term.

If you are dating or married to someone in the military, you might not always be able to get a hold of them. But you can always write them a letter and put that in the mail, sending your love across the miles.

6 Tips For Surviving a Long Distance Relationship That Seems Like it Will Last Forever

Find others in an LDR too

See if you can find some friends that are going through a long distance relationship too. Being around a lot of in-person couples can be difficult when your loved one is far away. Finding others who get what that is like is a smart idea.

You are not the only one going through this. You are not the only person who feels like their partner lives inside of your phone. Find ways to make it through, connect over the miles, and one day, you will no longer have to be apart.

What are your best tips for surviving a long distance relationship?

When Your Spouse Deploys

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When Your Spouse Deploys

When you are married to a soldier, you know the time will come; you know that they will eventually deploy. If they haven’t yet, you know they will and while you might know this is all coming, hearing those words are never easy.

They come home from work one day, walk in the door, and by the look on their face, you know what they are going to say.

There have been rumors, the other military spouses talk. You knew a deployment might happen, but you hoped they wouldn’t leave until next year. When your kids were not as young, when you had less on your plate, when the timing seemed better.

When Your Spouse Deploys

But is there ever a good time for a deployment?

“I have some news,” he says. “What is it?” You say, now is not the time to beat around the bush.

“We are deploying.”

“Okay.” You are not sure how to respond. You are shocked. You are not shocked. You want more details, and so you ask for them. He tells you that it will probably be in June, next June, unless they send him early in May, or even April and there is a slight chance he won’t have to go until late July, even August.

Your brain tries to go to the next year. Wasn’t that when you were finally going to take the kids to Disneyworld? Guess that will have to wait. You also wanted to start school? Go back and finish your degree, but is a deployment the right time to do so? Maybe, maybe not.

“Okay,” you say, because you can’t say anything else, you are still trying to process everything.

You are still trying to figure out what you are going to do and how you are going to get to a place where you can handle this.

When Your Spouse Deploys

“It’s still four months away,” he says. And you know that. He isn’t leaving tomorrow. You still have plenty of time. But you also know that time will go by too fast, as it always does. That four months isn’t that long.

You are now in pre-deployment mode, even if the deployment doesn’t seem real. Your emotions change, you start to feel like you are more in survival mode than you were before. You worry more about the kids, calculating how old they will be when he leaves and when he is supposed to get home.

And then time passes. He starts to get his things together. Army stuff everywhere. You don’t want it in your living room, but that is where he has to pack.

And one day, his Army stuff is gone. And you know he will soon follow.

It’s now the week before the deployment. He is leaving. Earlier than you wanted, later than he first said. You were able to squeeze so many memories in the last few months, but were they enough? Are they ever enough? The kids know he is going; you don’t know how hard the deployment will be for them.

You pray for your spouse, for patience, for relief from the pain this deployment brings. You know you can get through this time apart, but how many times will it feel like you can’t? How many breakdowns will you have during the months he is away?

Then the week turns into just a couple of days and then it is the night before. What do you do the night before they deploy? And then it is the day of. You wake up too early, can you sleep through this day?

When Your Spouse Deploys

No, this is the day you say goodbye. The day the countdown begins.

And then it is time to get into the car, you try not to cry, but the tears are right there. You have decided that you simply can’t stay until he leaves. You will say your goodbyes and take the kids back home. That is what works best for you and your family.

And then you give him that one last hug, one last kiss, one last goodbye. You are committed to doing this; you will not walk away, you hope this deployment makes your marriage stronger.

When you get home from dropping them off, you think about all the things he will miss, and that is when the waterworks flow. You worry about their safety and hope you can find a way to calm your fears.

When your spouse deploys, you will find a way to make it through. Through those lonely nights, through the time apart, and through everything that comes your way.

If you have just started a deployment, or in the middle of one, make sure to check out my deployment posts and join my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Facebook group. Deployment support is out there.

 

Welcome Them Home

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Welcome Them Home

Welcome Them Home

I’m so excited to be on the blog today you guys! Julie offered to let me use her platform to share with you about my non-profit because we both believe that you guys would totally be into it because THIS IS FOR YOU! Here goes…

My name is Bethany Cox and I am the founder of the non-profit Welcome Them Home. I wrote a little about it on our website but I thought I ould share that here with you as well.

Welcome Them Home is simple.

Welcome Them Home

It is a network of photographers who donate their time and skills to service members and their families as a thank you for the sacrifices that are being made for our country. Each photographer in the network has agreed to photograph your service member’s homecoming, free of charge.

We want to thank YOU for your sacrifices, be it on the home-front or abroad. Our goal is to become a household name for military families so that they know they have the option to have their Homecoming moment photographed, free of charge.

The story behind the non-profit is this: I was riding in the car with my husband and his brother. We were talking about wanting to do more with our lives than just pursue money and happiness, (which are pretty normal and perfectly fine pursuits). We wanted to serve others but in a creative way. I mentioned that it was on my heart to photograph military homecomings for free.

They encouraged me and said that I should do that… but I should do it on a large scale! Yes… I could photograph them, but only in a small area of the country. There are a lot of bases out there and a WHOLE lot of homecomings happening all over. Why not spread the net wide? I came up with the idea to create a network of photographers that would all agree to photograph homecomings for free.

Welcome Them Home

I like the idea of simplicity and I also liked the idea of this thing being able to run itself without me having to have my hands in every single aspect of it. I decided to take myself out of the equation almost completely by simply creating a website where families (you guys!!) can connect with photographers with no middle man, (ie: me). You simply find a photographer that you like in the area where your homecoming will happen and voila!

This was way back in 2012! Since then the network grew so much that I wasn’t able to keep things updated. Recently, I decided to start a fundraiser to help me create a website that would function a lot better for everyone.

Photographers would create accounts and be able to update their locations and details so that you guys could easily find them through a search function. Right now we are on a small break while we raise the money to rebuild the site, but once it’s done, we will be open again for you to use us!!

Welcome Them HomePlease do keep us in mind for your next Family Readiness Group or even for your own homecoming moment. I know that the photographer in the non-profit LOVE being able to do this for you guys, and many of them are military spouses or service members themselves.

If you can donate, please do, but the most important thing that will help us the most is for you to spread the word about what “Welcome Them Home” offers. Hopefully one day, everyone who wants this moment photographed, will know exactly where to look for a photographer.

Welcome Home Website: http://welcomethemhome.org/
Welcome Home Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/WelcomeThemHome/

Sometimes They Miss So Much

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Sometimes They Miss So Much

This is a sponsored conversation on behalf of Holt’s Cigar Company via SoFluential Media. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Sometimes They Miss So Much

When my husband joined the military, we already had children. A little boy. One of the reasons I went back and forth on it for so long was that I knew that when my husband joined the military, it would mean he would miss some of my son’s life. And that we would not be able to pick and choose what we would miss and what he would be home for.

In the last 12.5 years, he has missed his fair share of moments with our boys. He missed my 2nd little boy’s birth, and almost his entire first year due to a deployment extension. He has missed the first day of school, the last day of school, first words, and other milestones along the way.

As a military family, we know this is a part of the deal, but sometimes it makes me sad for him. I have been here for everything, and for him, some of our children’s growing up was done over emails, texts, and video chats. This can be frustrating for both of us, and I can only imagine what it must be like to not be able to see your children for months at a time while you are serving your country.

Military fathers sacrifice so much during their time in the military. Having to say goodbye to not only their spouse but also their children. We as a country can never really thank them enough for that sacrifice.

Sometimes They Miss So Much

As spouses, we can send them all the videos and photos in the world, but once they come home and you see your children run into their arms, you know that the missing is over and the bonding can resume. That your husband can be an in-person father once again.

This father’s day, there are many ways to show you care to the military fathers in your life. From cooking them a special dinner to buying them the right father’s day gift. One company that has some fantastic things for Dads is Holt’s Cigar Company. They have gifts that would be perfect for Father’s Day, a graduation, and even the birth of a child.

And…best of all, they have a 10% military discount, to help you save money as you are picking out a present for your favorite dad.

Military life isn’t easy, especially when you are far away from your family. A nice gift can be the perfect way to show them your love and Holt’s Cigar Company can help you find something they will love.