Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Deployment

When He is Away, I Miss His Jokes

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When he is away…

Army Couple

I miss his jokes.

I miss seeing him make coffee.

I miss being able to talk to him about all the silly stuff.

I miss watching movies together after the boys go to bed.

I miss him laughing at the silly stuff our boys say.

I miss the joy I feel when I come home and see he is home from work early…especially on a Friday afternoon.

I miss hogging all the covers.

I miss being able to run to Target for an hour all by myself on a Sunday afternoon.

I miss driving through a Starbucks and getting coffee together.

I miss hearing the garage door open knowing that means he must be home.

I miss asking him what he wants for dinner.

I miss going to church all together.

I miss watching the kids play together.

Whenever he is gone there is just a part of me that is never 100% okay with it, even if each day doesn’t seem too bad. Sometimes it is the little things, the everyday things that I miss the most. The memories I get from a coffee cup or a pair of shoes. It’s the daily chit-chat that seems the hardest to do without.

This time he won’t be gone too long and I have more than enough to keep me busy but it reminds me that a deployment is coming. It reminds me that before too long I will have to get used to this for months and months. That I will have to get back into deployment mode and that makes me sad. That I will not only miss all this stuff but he will also be in a dangerous place. That he won’t just be in a different state, that he will be on the other side of the world from us.

I try not to think about that. The deployment hasn’t started yet but the pre-deployment period has started and I need to accept it. I need to prepare myself for the rest of this year.

I tell myself that 9 months isn’t too long. It seems like we just got back from our California trip and that was 6 months ago. But still, it is knowing how much I will miss that makes me sad.

On the other hand, knowing that being apart will make us stronger is comforting. Knowing that at the end of it all we will have another wonderful homecoming is a nice thought. Knowing that we have been through much worse makes me feel better.

But how does one really prepare for such a long time without the person they love the most? How do you get used to the idea that you have to say goodbye?  A lot of people say that deployments don’t get any easier, and they don’t. They are all different and we are at different stages when we go through them.

I just hope and pray that this deployment isn’t too horrible. That it goes by quickly and that before we know it, he will be home with us again. Standing on this side of the deployment isn’t very fun but time moves on and no deployment lasts forever.

Are you in a pre-deployment season too?

Too Many Years of War

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On March 19th, 2003 Operation Iraqi Freedom began.  My husband and I went to downtown Santa Rosa, CA where we were living and took part in a support the troops rally. My husband was not active duty Army at this time. He didn’t re-join until the end of 2005. During this rally we saw a lot of patriotic signs. I was very much for what we were doing and supported it fully. I also supported the troops and wanted them to know that people out there stood behind them and supported them. War in Iraq

At the time I had no idea what the words, “War on Terror,” “Afghanistan” or “Iraq” would mean to my personal life. I had no idea how supporting the troops would go from holding up signs, to sending my own husband off to war. I really had no inkling that TEN years later we would be getting ready for a fourth deployment.

The war in Afghanistan started October 7, 2001. That is 11+ years ago. 11 years of war!

My husband has been to Afghanistan before, but just for a few months. His upcoming deployment he will be there for a lot longer. He has been to Iraq twice for a total of 26 months. I hope this next deployment is the last time he has to go to Afghanistan.

When I look at what has happened in Iraq and Afghanistan as a whole over the last few years it does look like we are winding down. When I think about the surge in Iraq and how that affected us, it makes this next deployment look easy. But then you never really know. My husband could be extended again for any amount of time. We really don’t know.

I want the American people to know that although things are not like they were in say 2006, we are still sending our Military to start new deployments in Afghanistan. We probably will for a while longer. We probably will always be sending someone there. And others are still being sent to Iraq. As time passes it might be easy for America to forget everything we have done over there. If it isn’t on the news 24/7, it sometimes is forgotten But our family can’t forget. That is what happens when a member of your family serves in the Military. You know first hand about war and what it is like to love someone fighting in it. And 11 years is a long time to be at war when you are a Military family.

I would love to think that we can enter a time of peace but I also know that there are other countries and parts of the world that might need our Military, even if everything settles down completely in Afghanistan. And I should expect that as long as my husband is in the Army. It is apart of his job. But that doesn’t stop me from praying for peace or hoping that things don’t get as bad as they have been the last 11 years. It doesn’t stop me from hoping that the next big fight America is in can be over quickly and without as much loss as we have had with Iraq and Afghanistan. I suppose only time will tell.

“The soldier is the Army. No army is better than its soldiers. The Soldier is also a citizen. In fact, the highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is that of bearing arms for one’s country”
― George S. Patton Jr.

 

 

7 years of Army life

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Army lifeIt was October of 2005. We had moved to Lexington, KY the April before. We knew we needed a big change. We knew Ben needed a new career. He had been in the Army before and knew he could do it again. We decided together for him to enlist. He was ready earlier than I was. By October I was ready. My friend was getting married the first weekend in November so I told him we had to wait until after that. We should have waited until after the holidays. Stuff just doesn’t get done like it should during the holidays when it comes to paperwork and the Military.

He left for MEPS. We assumed he would have to repeat basic. It was 2005 and he went to basic in 1996. A lot had changed in that time. 9/11 happened. But when I picked him up from MEPS later that day he told me that he didn’t have to repeat basic. That he was going to Europe and he would leave in two weeks. Say what? Really? That fast? Yep, it happened that fast. In just a few weeks we went from a civilian couple to a Military one stationed in Germany.

We thought it would take a month to join him in Germany. It took 4.5 months. Welcome to Army life. Hurry up and wait. He deployed about five months after we got to Germany. He deployed a year exactly after he got back from that deployment. Then he deployed for the 3rd time 15 months after that deployment. I am praying that this next break can be two years but probably not.

I can’t say I love the Army all the time. I can’t say it is horrible all of the time. I have had a lot of good come from being an Army wife. I have shed a lot of tears because of Military life.

I am not sure how long my husband will be in. Not sure he will re-enlist next time. We still have some time to decide. I do know that the last 7 years have been a roller coaster for us. Not exactly what I expected Army life to be like. Not sure I really even knew what to think about what Army life would be like.

How long have you been a Military spouse?

Season of Deployment

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Soldier DayI am on my MOPS steering team this year as a table leader. This is my first year as a volunteer for MOPS and I am really looking forward to it. If you are in the Ft. Campbell area and are pregnant or have any kids 5 and under, you should come to MOPS on post 🙂 We meet every other Wednesday at the new chapel.

We are preparing for a lot more moms this year because sadly, this is going to be a big deployment year for our post. Not everyone will leave at once and most likely the last group will leave around the time the first groups get home but it is still something that is felt post wide.

I have friends who are getting ready to say goodbye to their husbands, they are working on getting all those last-minute details prepared. My husband has a possible month range but who really knows if and when he will go. Bags are being packed, wills are being taken care of an Army wives around here are making their deployment to-do lists. For some this will be there very first deployment, for others this will be # 3 or 4 or even more. It will be #4 for us when my husband leaves.

It is hard is to know that another deployment is coming and see these kind of things in the news:

7 US troops among 11 killed in helicopter crash in Afghanistan

Monthly Army suicides reach all-time high in July with 38 suspected

How can we stay calm for yet another deployment? So many of our soldiers have been through so much. Breaks don’t feel long enough.

My fellow blogger Household Diva 6 wrote an amazing post yesterday about it called War is a horrible thing! I really recommend that you read it.

This Army life…it is just really hard sometimes. It is hard to watch husbands go off to war, even if they are not your own. It is hard knowing it will be your turn soon. It is hard not knowing when he might be deployed. It is hard waiting for him to return. It is hard knowing he could be hurt or worse. It is just hard. So unbelievably hard.

If you are reading this and about to start a deployment, just know you are not alone. A lot of us have been through it and know what it is like. Do not be afraid to ask for help (which I really really struggle with) and know that people are praying for you and that deployments don’t last forever.

If you are reading this and do not have a family member in the Military, please remember to pray for our troops and their families. We need it. We really really need it.

 

The 10 Most Memorable Moments of Our Marriage

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Military MarriageOn August 3rd we will celebrate 10 years of marriage! 10 years! A whole decade! During the last 10 years we have done things and lived places we never thought were possible. We have been through tough and challenging times and been through some pretty awesome times. I thought it would be fun to make a list of the top 10 most memorable moments from the last 10 years! I am not going to count our wedding day since it is a given that was pretty awesome 🙂

1. Finding out we were having a baby boy! In May of 2004 we had just gotten back from a really fun trip down to San Diego and Orange County. I still remember walking out of the hospital after the ultrasound with the name of our first child. As soon as they told us it was a boy, we knew he was going to be our Daniel.

2. The births of our 3 children. Having a baby is amazing, it really is. To know that we created these 3 little boys is amazing. I have always wanted to be a Mommy and will always remember the days that a new little boy join our family.

3. The homecomings. Over the last 6.5 years Ben has been deployed three times as well as a bunch of other times he has been away for different reasons. The homecomings are always so wonderful! Just to see him again and know that he is done being away from us for a while is so nice.

4. Packing up everything and moving from California to Kentucky. In 2005 we decided it would be best to head to Kentucky because of the high cost of living in California. It was so hard to say goodbye to family and friends and I do wonder what life would be like if we had stayed but I am glad we did it. Ben quit his job, we packed up everything and drove east to our new home.

5. Our Mediterranean Cruise. This cruise was amazing and our family got to see so much! I am so glad we decided to do this. It really was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

6. Our trip to Catalina for our 7th anniversary. Sometimes the Army does crazy things…like giving Ben his R&R over our 7th anniversary even though he didn’t request it and it was pushed back from his original date 3 weeks earlier. We were able to get away just the two of us to Catalina Island were we went for our honeymoon. It was amazing and we had such a great time! It was so different from when we went the first time. I would like to go again sometime and take the boys. I think they would like it too.

7. Buying our first home. We bought our first home in September of last year. When we were looking at this house we just  looked at each other and knew it was what we wanted. It was perfect for us and our little boys.

8. Moving to Germany. It took Daniel and I 4.5 months to get there but once we did it was amazing to think about us living there for a while. It was one of those, “Are we really living in Europe?” moments when Ben finally took me to our new apartment.

9. When Ben join the Army. When I met Ben, the Army was apart of his past. It wasn’t something we even really talked about until we had been married a few years. He didn’t join until we had been married 3.5 years. Making that decision changed the path of our lives.

10. Our 15 month deployment. This was probably the hardest period of time during our marriage. We didn’t see each other for 11 months straight as the deployment kept getting extended. I still think about how odd it is that we lived apart for so long without seeing each other. During that time our marriage looked very different because it was long distance but we made it through and became stronger because of it.

 

Military Marriage

Favorite Military Homecoming Outfits

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Favorite Military Homecoming Outfits

So…who has trouble coming up with the right homecoming outfit?  I always do!  I want to look pretty and cute but never really know the best way to do that. A lot of wives spend hours if not days searching for the perfect outfit. The secret is, it really doesn’t matter what you wear because your husband will be so happy to see you and you will be so happy to see him. However, spending the time to find the outfit passes deployment days and getting ready for the event passes the hours right before you get to go pick them up.

Here are some ideas 🙂

 

I also have a board on Pinterest all about this! You can visit and see some great ideas of outfits you might like. Some will be for you, others for your child. Some are very fancy and others are more casual. Go with your own style, what you will feel comfortable with and have fun with it 🙂

Follow Julie Provost’s board Military Homecoming Outfits on Pinterest.