Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

When Military Life Breaks You

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When Military Life Breaks You

Military life is hard, we all know that. Military families have to deal with so many challenges. Military children do too. Military spouses have to take on pretty much everything and sometimes the stress can feel like too much.

Sometimes the deployments are just too close together or they are too long or there is just too much loneliness because of frequent moves. Sometimes military life breaks you.

What do you do if you are in a place where it feels like too much? What can you do if you feel broken? You know you are not going to walk away from your spouse but you know you need to do something.

You know how important their military career is, but you feel like you can’t keep going on like this. You are lost and just not sure what you can do to get through the next few months or years until military life is over.

1) Get Back To Your Faith. No matter what religion you follow, you do put your faith in something. Cling to it. Pray. Meditate. Grow in your faith.

Try to find a good place to go each week. Look at what your post or base has to offer. Look online to see what you can discover locally. Write in a journal, sing, go for long walks. Find a way to find some peace in the midst of this lifestyle.

2) Don’t be afraid to get help. Sometimes the best thing to do is call for help. Find someone you can talk with. Someone you can talk to about what is going on. Someone that won’t judge and someone who can give you some good advice on how to deal with what you are dealing with.

If you feel like you need some extra help you can find a Military Family Life Consultant to talk with or make an appointment with a local provider. Tricare will cover up to 8 sessions without needing a referral. Just call up the provider and let them know you have Tricare and they should be able to help you from there. I had to do this during our 4th deployment and doing so was worth the time.

3) Let Things Go. Seriously. Let it go. Don’t worry about what isn’t important. Some of what you stress about matters, and some of what you stress about doesn’t matter at all.

Let go of trying to be a perfect military spouse. For one thing, no one is a perfect military spouse and you will drive yourself crazy trying to be one. Do what you can each day and let the rest of everything go.

4) Depend on your friends. If someone offers to babysit, let them. If someone offers to mow your lawn, let them. If someone wants to bring you dinner, let them.

Get together with friends. Make dates with them. Join them for coffee or a playdate. Invite them over for dinner. Friends will get you through, even if they don’t 100% understand what you are currently dealing with.

If someone is making you feel bad, let them go. Surround yourself with supportive people. If you don’t have any local friends, join a club, playgroup or even start one yourself. Find something you enjoy doing and look for others that enjoy that too.

5) Make Time For Yourself. Read that book. Watch that movie. Start writing your book.

Make a list of all the things that make you happy. When you get really upset, start going down your list. Try to surround yourself with things you enjoy.

You might have to work ten hours a day. You might be with kids from 6 am to 8 pm. But whatever time you have for yourself, enjoy every minute of that time. Even just 30 minutes a day can help. 

Making time for yourself as a military spouse is very important. Even something as simple as picking up some flowers and putting them in a vase on your kitchen table can help with your mood.

We can’t change a lot of what military life is going to bring. There will be deployments and trainings and too many goodbyes. There will be lonely nights and tearful goodbyes.

However, when you are a military spouse, you have to figure out a way to make it through. Even when you feel like military life is breaking you. Do what you can to figure out how to get to a better place. This will help your spouse in their career and will help you in living a fuller military life.

Join my email list and receive a free Guide for your first 30 days of deployment! 

13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

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13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

There is something about a military spouse friendship. We can be there for one another through all of our military challenges. From deployments to pcsing, friends will make this life easier.

Sometimes finding friends can take a long time, sometimes it happens right away. Here are some memes all about military spouse friendship. Enjoy!

Military friendships

I don’t like to say goodbye, I like to say see you later. It’s an easier thing to say. 

Military friendships

I love how we can meet and connect with others from all over the world during our time as a military spouse! 

Military friendships

One thing is clear, you will always have your memories.
Even if you don’t see your friends for a while, you always have the moments you spent together. 

Military friendships

Our friends will probably be from all over but that’s the best part. We can learn from one another’s experiences and share our own. 

Military friendships

Yes! We always need people we can be free to vent to about the deployment. We know we would do the same for them. 

Military friendships

Sometimes when you or your friend move, you will never live near each other again. But good friends, you stay together, even if you are no longer in the same time zone. 

Military friendships

Finding a good friend can change everything!

Military friendships

#4, calling a good friend can be a great thing to do during a bad deployment day!

Military friendships

That would be the best! Your spent 2008-2011 together in Italy and now you will spend 2017-2019 together in California. Thank you Military!

Military friendships

Keep putting yourself out there. You will eventually meet some good people to connect with. 

Military friendships

Being kind is a must. It makes you a good friend. 

Military friendships

This couldn’t be truer; friends are lucky to have. 

Military friendships

Sometimes it is hard to put yourself out there. Keep doing so. You never know who you might meet.

Here are some posts on friendship as a military spouse…

 What To Do When You Can’t Make Friends At Your New Duty Station!

10 Of The Best Places To Make Friends When You Are A Military Spouse

Finding Your Military Spouse Tribe

A Military Dad

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He wakes up early, leaving his sleeping children. He has to get to work.

He puts on his uniform and stares at the calendar, they were running out of days.

He knows he has to go, he knows this is his duty, but saying goodbye to those kids isn’t going to be easy.

He packs his bag and sees his wife crying. He wishes this wasn’t going to be so hard for her. He never thought she would have to go through so many parenting seasons alone.

He promises to write. He promises to call. He hopes he won’t be forgotten.

And then it is time to say goodbye…

A Military Dad

He hugs those boys and knows how much they will grow when he is gone. He tries not to think about that, but it is right there in his mind. Being away for so many months at a time is a part of this life that makes everything so hard.

He has a sense of duty to his country. To go. To fight. To make a difference.

He has a sense of duty to his family. To his wife. To his kids.

And sometimes, he can’t do both at the same time. Sometimes he has to go away, and do his job, and try to be there for his family across the miles.

And other times he does get to be home. To make memories. To be able to be a dad in person, not just on a screen.

He wonders if his kids will remember this. He wonders if they will hate him for leaving because they don’t understand. He wonders if things will be weird when he gets back home.

And after months away, he struggles. He loves his kids but he doesn’t know them like he would if he never went away. He loves his family but being so far from home is so hard.

He focuses on the job, on the mission, on his duty. He tries not to dwell on what he is missing but on what he is helping to protect. He tries every day to be the best soldier he can knowing he also needs to be the best father he can be at the same time.

And time goes by…he misses those kids. He misses so much. The first steps, the first words, the first moments. He hopes he doesn’t miss much more, but with years left serving in the military, he knows he might.

And then it is time to go home. To get out of this place, and be back where he belongs. With his wife, and his kids. But he worries.

Has he been gone too long? Will his three-year-old remember the trips to the park before he left? Will the one-year-old bond with him as his brother did? Will his wife be okay after so many months of solo parenting?

And the plane lands and the deployment is over. He sees them, right away. She is wearing a blue dress, and the boys match one another. His oldest is holding a sign. He can’t wait for the moment he can hug and kiss all of them.

But they have to wait and he has to stay stoic. He sees his family but he can’t crack a smile. Not yet.

Then it is time, they are free to go and he runs to her and the boys. And they hug and kiss and all feels right in the world. Those boys, those kids, they have missed him so much but he is back.

And they drive home together and everything is different at home. And yet, nothing is different. This is his family and they still love him so much. As the days pass, there might be struggles, but he is home, where his heart is.

He isn’t used to the new bedtime. He isn’t used to a toddler. He isn’t used to this new normal. But they will work through everything.

And this soldier, he may have to deploy again, and there might be more times apart. But no matter where he goes or how far away he might be, these are his kids and they will always love him.

40 Quick Tips for a Better Military Spouse Life

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I can’t believe I have been a military spouse for almost 17 years now. I remember being so overwhelmed by everything at first. I had so many questions and didn’t know what we were getting into. Over the years I have learned so much, from the best way to make friends to how to get through those long deployment days.

Are you new to military life? Maybe you just want to get some advice to get you through a difficult time. Here are 40 quick tips for a better military spouse life.

40 Quick Tips for a Better Military Spouse Life
  1. Timelines will always change. Whether it is how long it will take to join your spouse in an OCONUS PCS to when they will get home from a deployment.
  2. Make friends. You will need them, you will. They will make military life a lot easier.
  3. Say yes to overseas, even if you are afraid to do so. The experience will be worth it.
  4. Try living on post or base at least once. Doing so is an experience.
  5. Don’t forget OPSEC. Don’t overshare on social media. Be smart about what you are putting out there.
  6. PCS your way. Do you need a fancy PCS binder? Maybe. Are you okay if you don’t have one? Maybe. Find what works for you.
  7. Don’t be turned off by “bad” duty stations. Sometimes that is where you will have the best experiences. You never know.
  8. Join the groups. Find a book club. Try MOPS. You never know when you might find your new best friend.
  9. Write love letters. They might be old-fashioned but they can be a greay way to communicate during a deployment.
  10. Journal. Get your words out. Tell your journal how mad you are at the military. It will make you feel better.
  11. Get mad at the military. It’s okay. You don’t always have to love everything the military does.
  12. Focus on you. Don’t give up your dreams.
  13. Get off your military instillation. Explore. Make civilian friends. Learn about your new area.
  14. Listen to Seasoned Spouses. They have good advice and they have been there.
  15. Help out newbie military spouses. You have a lot to offer, even if you have only been a military spouse for a short time yourself.
  16. Remember you can do this. Whatever it is. Take it one day at a time.
  17. Create boundrries for yourself. With friends. With your job. With family.
  18. Make time for yourself. Me time is always important. Look for ways to find that me time, no matter how busy your life might be.
  19. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Doing so will bring you amazing things.
  20. You don’t have to send fancy care packages if you don’t want to. That might not be your jam. That’s okay.
  21. Share your story. Start a blog. Share on Instagram. When we share our stories, whatever they might be, we can truly help one another not feel so alone.
  22. Don’t sweat the small stuff, especially during a deployment. You might have to let a lot of things go. But that will bring you more peace.
  23. Each of your kids might handle the stress of military life in a different way. Some might need a little more help than others.
  24. Sometimes things will happen that won’t make any sense. Learn that this is just a part of military life. Sometimes you won’t be able to explain the randomness of it all.
  25. Don’t let rank get in the way of a friendship. Rules about rank are for service members, not spouses. That being said, be aware of what would bother your spouse or put them in an uncomfortable situation.
  26. Celebrate your military spouse wins. Get excited when you hit 100 days of deployment. Get excited when you cross things off your PCS to-do list.
  27. Talk with your spouse about PERSEC. Find out what they are okay with you sharing and what they are not. Some service members do not want to be on social media, and others are totally okay with it.
  28. Be wary of scams. Are you dating a service member? Awesome! Are they asking for you to send them money even thoguh you have never met in person? Be wary. People do try to scam others by pretending to be a service member.
  29. Learn about military discounts. Many amusement parks have them. A lot of resturants do too. Don’t be afraid to ask about them when you are out shopping. Just be respectful if the answer is no or if they are only for the service member.
  30. Share your life with your civilian friends. They are curious and might only know about military life from TV or movies.
  31. Be yourself. Not all military spouses are the same. We come from different places and backgrounds. Find your milspouse people.
  32. Know if you are struggling in this life, reaching out for extra help is okay. Doing so might be just what you need to get through your current challenge.
  33. Go to college, find a job, and pursue your own dreams as much as you can. Follow your passions, even during military life, whatever they might be.
  34. During a deployment, make a list of all the things you want to accomplish or learn. Work on home projects, write a book, learn a new skill, and figure out ways to stay busy that can help you grow as a person.
  35. Visit home, especially when you need a break from your duty station. But when you do, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not visiting them or spending your vacation the way you need to as a family.
  36. Take pictures. Make photo albums. Write down your memories. You will be glad you did.
  37. Learn from one another. Listen to how others make deployments a little easier or hacks they have about pcsing. You don’t have to do everything they do, but putting more tools in your military spouse toolbox will be a good idea.
  38. Feeling lonely? Find activities and events in your local area to get out and meet new people. Don’t give up if you don’t meet anyone right away. Keep trying.
  39. Grow through your expeirences, even the bad ones. There is always something new to learn.
  40. Enjoy this life as much as you can, but know that often times military life is a roller coaster. You will have some amazing moments, and some pretty difficult ones. There will be different seasons of your military life.

The Road I Traveled: Finding the Right Career

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The Road I Traveled: Finding the Right Career

In March of 2013, I looked into the blue, blue eyes of my Marine and said my vows. I was confident I was entirely prepared for life as an active duty spouse. Of course, I was wrong.

While my husband and I had already experienced the highs and lows of deployments, separations, and reunions, marrying him, and choosing to follow him from duty station to duty station was and is a different world entirely. To succeed together my husband and I had to buy-in, not just to the military, but to one another. That meant finding ways to work together to ensure we each had and have fulfilling personal and professional lives.

Sometimes one career is being built in a more focused way while the other takes a bit of a back seat. This was us during the early days of my husband’s career. I already had my bachelor’s degree and had been in the professional world for nearly a decade. My husband was just starting his military career and had an associate’s degree.

While I didn’t focus on paid work during that time, I did engage with my husband’s unit as a family readiness volunteer. For us, this was an example of both mutual buy-in and the value of individuating from one another. I brought my personal and professional experience to the Family Readiness Officer (at that time FROs were DoD employees) and said “how can I help the unit”? The FRO was delighted to have me and this experience led to many volunteer assignments that I was able to put on my resume. These experiences ranged from supporting the Marines in their education goals, to helping train volunteers, and more. 

Even more important than the experience I brought to the table, however, was learning the value of self-advocacy in the military environment. It can be easy to assume “I can’t” when adjusting to and trying to understand a large, complex organization like a military service branch.

While not everyone is going to want to volunteer within their spouse’s unit, self-advocacy still applies. Whether you work off-base, volunteer aboard a base, with the community, or another organization, viewing yourself as an asset, and as an individual with something to contribute matters.

When I was pregnant with our son, the importance of my individual personhood became particularly clear. I remember my greatest fear during that time was losing myself in motherhood. I wanted to ensure I maintained my individuality, my personhood, separate from not just my husband, but my child as well.

After our son was born, (while my husband was deployed of course) I experienced many an emotional fluctuation in how I felt I was developing and how I felt about being seen as “more than a mom”. I remember being particularly worried that my husband sometimes lost sight of me and my experiences and saw only “mother of my child”. 

My mother was the voice of reason in my ear. She encouraged me to regularly take time for myself. She reminded me that nurturing my interests and passions would allow me to be a better, happier, mother and spouse.

Embracing motherhood as a part of my whole, allowed me to integrate its realities and responsibilities as I pursued my goals. As my son grew and became more independent I did as well. I learned that being completely supportive of my husband’s career, being engaged in the military community, and STILL being fiercely individual, career-minded, and a goal-oriented person are not mutually exclusive.

By the time our son turned 3, I knew I wanted to get my graduate degree. I wanted to contribute financially to our family and develop a career that could weather the realities of deployments, PCSing, and solo parenting. 

My bachelor’s degree is in social work, so I started there. I looked at my requirements for career success, the growth of social work job roles, starting salaries, and what my loans would look like. I enrolled with Hire Heroes (a fantastic organization supporting veterans and military spouses as they develop careers) to start redesigning my resume and learn the strategies for applying for jobs online. I built a LinkedIn profile since I knew I wanted a strong virtual presence, and I joined several professional military spouse groups on Facebook and LinkedIn.

Prior to enrolling in a program, I spent a year researching my options. I knew I needed an asynchronous, online program so I could learn at my own pace and not have classes impacted by deployments, TDYs, and solo parenting. Through my research, I learned that a master’s in social work (MSW) was not the best option for me and my goals.

I looked at writing degrees since I enjoyed writing and knew editing and proofreading would lend themselves to remote work. The salaries weren’t what I wanted. I looked at some education-focused programs and found myself learning more about curriculum analysis and development. In the end, I discovered Instructional Design.

I wasn’t familiar with Instructional Design, so I delved a bit deeper and learned about course design, developing learning objectives, and the difference between pedagogy (teaching kids) and andragogy (teaching adults). With this information in hand, I started searching for programs, found one I liked, and had a 45-minute informational interview with the director of the program.

He provided me with the contact information for some graduates of the program so I could learn more about life in the role and how to apply this education to my career development. Those informational interviews were critical to my ability to make an informed, educated decision about my graduate program. I scouted job boards to see what kind of roles were offered for this degree and what the salaries were in the real world, not just on salary.com. I saw many jobs that met my needs for flexibility and remote work. 

Through a combination of commitment to developing my LinkedIn profile, networking, and luck, I had a job in my field 6 months before I graduated from my program. That job and the multiple internships I held through my schooling prepared me for my current role. In this role, I benefit from a fantastic mentor and a remote position that supports a mission I care about.

On this journey, I took plenty of detours, and there were many times I experienced self-doubt and a lack of confidence in my ability to succeed. In those moments I benefitted from my entirely bought-in, unfailingly supportive, cheerleader of a husband and partner. He supported all my goals, talked through challenges with me, and kept me company during project crunch times. 

I could draw this reflection on my path to a close with a platitude or two and a “Rah Rah!” Instead, I’ll share a few of the lessons I’ve learned while navigating this crazy military life.

  1. Fill your own cup first: You cannot give from an empty vessel. Give yourself the time and space to recharge. This may look different at various life stages. When my son was little it might just have been an hour at a Starbucks reading and enjoying my espresso. Now, it might be a whole day by myself doing my own activities or errands to allow myself some breathing room.
  2. Individuate. Always. Being wholly supportive of your spouse’s military career doesn’t mean you sacrifice yours. Remember that while you’re partners in life you still have individual goals. 
  3. Self-Advocate: You have something positive to contribute. You are an asset. Remember that. Go forth and reflect that. Ask for the things you want and the things you want to see. Engage. Be the change you want to see (okay, so that’s a platitude but it’s a good one!)
  4. ALWAYS ASK: The worst that can happen is someone says no. Then, you move on to the next way to get your question answered or your goal met. 
  5. Be kind to yourself: Be as kind to yourself as you would to a good friend. Give yourself chances, and forgiveness. Recognize that mistakes are just part of life and learn from them. 

I love my life as a Training Performance Analyst (super fancy job title to explain lots of time in excel) a Mama to an amazing son, an active-duty spouse, a friend, and a person with a growth mindset. Thanks for letting me share a little bit of it with you. 

Dvija Maurer is a woman of many interests. Some of these include Korean cuisine, history, politics, how many times her son will say “ok mom” before remembering to pick up his towel, and playing D&D with friends and family. After receiving both undergraduate and graduate degrees from the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, Dvija pursued her career in the world of training and performance. She found the remote opportunities in the training sector fit perfectly into the active duty military life she shares with her husband Gerard, son Charlie, and two dogs, Mando and Rey.

If you’d like to connect with Dvija she can be found on LinkedIn at: 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dee-maurer-dvijapatni

The Ups and the Downs of Military Life

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The Ups and the Downs of Military Life

My military spouse life today looks completely different than it did back 15-16 years ago. For one thing, back then, my husband was active duty Army, and we were stationed in Germany. What was going on in the world, and Iraq and Afghanistan at the time were very different than what is going on today.

Technology was a bit different too. We didn’t have as much access to our service members when they were deployed, and it was harder to connect with them overseas.

I still experience the ups and downs of military life. The back and the forth. The good and the bad.

When your spouse first joins the military, or you marry a service member, military life can be a big shock to the system. For some things change a lot. You go from a civilian spouse coming home at 5 on the dot to a deployment. You can go from your parent’s house to your own house halfway around the world. Military life comes with a lot of changes.

But we spouses, we adapt, we have to.

We work to find community. We try to find people we can connect with. We don’t want to go through all of this alone.

We hit the speed bumps, which can really throw us off if we don’t see them coming. We know they might be ahead but we can lie to ourselves and pretend they won’t affect us. But then they do. And we can feel pretty sad about it all.

But then things change. Life changes. Things get easier, if only for a little while.

You might PCS to a new duty station, closer to home. A deployment might get canceled, or you meet someone you click with so well, that you know you will always have each other’s back.

When that happens, you start to feel like you can do it. You can rock whatever comes at you. And you know what? That’s such a wonderful feeling.

But it is okay if that feeling doesn’t last. Because sometimes this military life can be so hard.

I have learned over the years that I have to take care of myself, no matter what is coming my way. I have to find those times for self-care, even within the crazy. I have to find friends to be with and talk with. I have to balance my life so that I don’t become too overwhelmed.

And after all these years, I am still tweaking things. I am still figuring out what works best and how to get through time away from my husband or any other military struggle that comes up.

If you are new to military life, you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything you have to deal with.

From TRICARE to PCSing, from the MWR to DEERS. There is so much to know.

The reality is you don’t have to know everything right now. You will learn over time and you will figure out how best to get through this life.

So many military spouses have come before you and will help you on your journey.

There are so many resources out there, from organizations like Blue Star Families offering different events to companies like MilSpouse Conversations offering places to connect and talk with each other. I also have blog posts on topics such as deployments, PCSing, and more.

If you are new to military life, know that there will be ups and downs in this lifestyle. Not every day will be good but not every day will be bad either. And those really bad days? You will figure out ways to get through them. To get to a better place.

What helps you get to a better place when you are feeling down?

If you are in the San Diego area, come to the Spill THEE Tea – Conversations with a milspouse panel sponsored by Blue Star Families on September 8th, 2022 from 6-8 pm PT. Sign up here.

3 Ways Military Spouses Can Jump Start Their Careers Right Now

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Hiring Our Heroes

In 2010, when I married my airman on a random weekend with a hastily made supermarket bouquet in a Texas courthouse, I had not even heard the words “military spouse employment programs.” 

In fact, I wasn’t even sure why I would need a military spouse employment program. I wasn’t aware of what I was about to encounter when my new life and my career path collided. But collide they did – and I soon found myself no longer evaluating career opportunities on merit, my skillset, or what sounded like fun. 

I was evaluating every employment opportunity on the question, “Can I make this job work?”

Looking back, that makes my heart hurt a little. 

I know so many spouses that have done the same soul-searching when forcing jobs to fit. I was fortunate to eventually find a rewarding career after many challenging decisions and a double dose of hard work. 

Twelve years later, I see not limitations, but possibilities for military spouses seeking meaningful career opportunities. Military spouses, I am here to tell you that the time is now to jump-start your professional career. 

Are you ready? Here are 3 ways to do it.

Take Advantage of Returnship and Internship Programs for Military Spouses
Returnships are designed for those returning to work. As I look at employer trends in the latter half of the year, I see many companies committing to returnships and internships for professionals and new grads who put their careers on hold in 2020. These programs provide a professional boost to anyone who took some time off from work and has a gap on their resume, or to those who are looking to pivot into a new industry.

You can visit an employer’s career webpage to see if they have this type of program available. If you search their site and can’t find anything specific to returnships, try connecting with a recruiter for that organization on LinkedIn and asking about return-to-work options. 

Internships and fellowships can also be used to jump back in, but there’s usually also a component of new work experience with these programs. For this reason, fellowships are perfect for career-pivoters. Career-pivoters are new to their field. They are also those who want to explore the ins and outs of life at a particular company before accepting a full-time job offer. 

To find internship programs, check with your educational institution. Or if you live in one of eight service locations, apply for the Military Spouse Fellowship Program at Hiring Our Heroes. This unique program is a paid, six-week experience on the job with one of the program’s host companies. In 2021, this experience led to a full-time job offer for 92% of participants. 

Use the New Remote Work Landscape to Upskill and Reskill into Portable Career 

There is an explosion of remote and hybrid work opportunities now, rendering your next PCS a small inconvenience instead of a career-stopper. 

The demand for remote workers is especially high in the tech space. These jobs are very competitive, so to have a leg up, consider adding some new skills to your repertoire. Thankfully, as military spouses, we have access to a variety of educational benefits and support organizations to do this at no cost. 

If you are eyeing jobs in fields like UX/UI design, project management, IT support, digital marketing, or data analytics, you may want to check out the Career Forward program at Hiring Our Heroes. This learner-to-earner program can take you from career dreams to job offers with the help of our staff. 

If you love data management or have already begun to learn about careers in the rapidly growing customer relationship management (CRM) software industry, take a look at the Hiring Our Heroes’ Salesforce Fellowship Program. 

Military spouses are eligible for free training to learn Salesforce through Salesforce Military. After earning the Salesforce administrator certification, you can receive hands-on work experience using your new Salesforce skills with a fellowship at one of 55 host companies located nationwide. The program currently has a 95% job offer rate.

Leverage Your Network

One glaringly obvious issue that has always made military spouse career progression difficult is the lack of professional connections when we arrive to a new area and the inability to maintain a network as we move around. 

The importance of networking is not waning and, with digital tools and groups, professional networking is easier than ever. 

Invest time in LinkedIn – it’s not just about your profile! Once you have most of your profile filled out, connect with people who work at companies you are interested in, who are experienced in your industry, or who have a common interest with you. Take a few minutes each day to comment on their posts and post your own job search updates to your network. 

While you’re leveraging your network, lean on your fellow military spouses. 

The Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network has a presence virtually and at 55 locations around the world. MSPN provides online career development resources and virtual networking platforms to help military spouses build their professional network before they arrive at a new military installation. 

In case you haven’t heard it lately, your professional goals are important. You have so much to offer the business community as a talented, adaptable, and knowledgeable military spouse. There’s never been a better time to demonstrate your value as an employee. I hope you’ll take the first step toward achieving professional success according to your own definition. 

And if you need additional support, there’s much more to discover at Hiring Our Heroes including webinars, virtual hiring fairs, Amplify career intensives, and Career Connectors to help you navigate it all. 

Good luck – you’ve got this!

Danielle Lankford is the San Antonio & Dallas/Fort Worth Program Manager for the Military Spouse Fellowship Program at Hiring Our Heroes. Hiring Our Heroes is an initiative of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation. You can connect with Danielle on LinkedIn. 

My Experience as a Hispanic Military Spouse

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My Experience as a Hispanic Military Spouse

How I Learned English and Thrived

La Isla del Encanto. Have you heard of that place? It is a small island in the Caribbean. Puerto Rico is a paradise with captivating beauty and culture. The home where I spent the first 19 years of my life. During my teenage years, I often told my parents that I was never leaving my home, my community, or my country. Learning English at school was a struggle, and I was not interested in making an effort. I thought it was pointless. Ironically, after high school graduation, my boyfriend joined the U.S. Air Force; and you can probably guess what happened after that. I left my family, my home, and my country. 

Not even in my wildest dreams would I have thought of living on the other side of the world. But, you guess again, my new home was not in the United States but in Japan. Have you watched Men in Black II? In the final scene, Agent K calls Agent J a rookie and kicks a door open. Agent J is shocked to find out that the world as he knows it is just a part of something bigger. That is how I felt when I arrived in Okinawa, my husband’s first duty station. 

Soon enough, I regretted my past lack of effort in learning English. Speaking with others was not only challenging but nerve-wracking. It is accurate to say it was impossible. Keeping up with the speed at which people spoke was difficult. It did not help that I would try to translate everything from English to Spanish in my mind. I could not understand a word or form a sentence, for that matter. I was frustrated and lacked confidence. So what did I do? 

I enrolled in an online university to continue my education. My first class was English. This time, I was determined to learn; and I did, but it was challenging every day. I know completing my school work took longer just because of the language barrier. Countless tears, sleepless nights, and six years later, I earned my B.A. in Psychology from Penn State University. During those six years, I moved three times and had two children. It has been ten years since I became a military spouse, and I have learned many lessons. 

From mistakes I made to things I would do differently, this is my advice: 

● Prioritize wellness. Seek professional support sooner than later. 

● Choose approach over avoidance. 

● Do not isolate yourself. 

● Take your time but do it. 

● Everything takes practice. Take the first step. 

● Find resources! There are many now. 

● Ask for help; there are kind and caring people out there. 

● Get social and take advantage of social media platforms. 

● Stay connected to family and friends. It is still possible when you are far.

● Keep a balance.

● Do not compare yourself to others; follow your path.

● Believe in yourself. 

I wish you the best in this challenging and incredible journey!

Here are more resources that I have found useful:

Written by guest writer, Lourdes Gonzalez!