Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Movies, Television, and Media

Military Spouse Social Media: Navigating Motherhood and Connection

by Leave a Comment

As a military spouse, social media often becomes more than just scrolling; it’s how we stay connected during deployments, moves, and long-distance friendships. This guest post explores the different ways moms can use social media to connect with others, a must as military spouses.

Living so far from our loved ones, having our spouse have to “live in our phones” for periods of time, and trying to balance it all together during the craziness of military life is a lot to take on. We want to find the right balance with social media, but it can be hard.

Enjoy this post all about motherhood and the different ways we can use social media to stay in touch.

Motherhood and Social Media

Before the advent of Facebook, Pinterest, and various other social media tools, motherhood was, in some ways, a much more isolating experience. Of course, before social media, mothers may have had email, phone calls, and in-person visits. But social media and tools like smartphones and web cams bring your friends and family right into your living room, regardless of location, and allow them to experience your child’s growth up close and personal. These days, moms can keep in touch with friends and family like never before.

Social Media Brings Moms Together

Social media serves another important purpose: it brings moms together and makes geography nearly irrelevant. You adopted your child from China? There is a Facebook page or blog dedicated to that where you can connect with other moms with children adopted from China and share your experiences, ask questions, and make friends. Ditto for many other motherhood experiences. The internet and social media help us stay connected and meet others of like minds or experiences. This can be immensely reassuring when you are faced with a motherhood dilemma outside your previous experience.

Here are some of the most common social media tools I have found useful and some that many of my friends who are moms love to use:

Facebook is the Place

Military spouses and social media go hand in hand. And Facebook is one of the places we go. Although there are concerns that Facebook’s popularity is declining among teens, every mom I know uses it regularly. We post pictures of our kids, updates on our lives, questions about events at school and where to find a good pediatric dentist. It is a great tool for keeping up with both local friends and family and those who live far away.

You should be aware that Facebook is notorious for constantly changing its privacy settings without informing users.  Therefore, I never post anything on Facebook that is sensitive or private. You really can’t be absolutely sure who might see your post. Also, Facebook has had the tendency in the past to ban breast-feeding photos and sometimes delete those users’ accounts, so while it is your right to post these types of family photos, the network has shown a strange intolerance to them, so beware.

That said, I love keeping up with what my friend in Spain is doing and her daughter’s activities, as well as making plans with my neighborhood friends for a barbecue.  I also belong to a Facebook group of moms with multiples, and we talk about parenting issues specific to having twins or triplets.

Pinterest is a Fun Choice

Need an idea for a snack to serve for a toddler birthday party? Looking for an age-appropriate educational activity? How about nursery decorating ideas? That and more can be found on Pinterest by pinning photos and ideas of people you know and people you don’t. Along the way you can learn lots of interesting things about your friends. One of my friends has a prolific collection of dessert recipes – all involving chocolate. Another is obsessed with bookshelves of every shape and dimension. Another I can always count on for great appetizer ideas.

Instagram For Your Photos and Videos

Love photos? Instagram lets you tap into your inner photographer and view others’ photos. You can also share them on Facebook and other social media sites. It is an opportunity to showcase your life in photos for friends and family to see, but the profiles are public, so everyone else can see, too. You can also post short videos as Reels.

Email and Texting Still Works

Don’t care to share your whole life with the masses, or even just your online friends? It’s a valid concern – many sites have little to no security settings, so there is really no way to ensure that what you post stays within your circle of family and friends. Emailing and texting, now considered old-school, aren’t completely foolproof, but you have a reasonable expectation that your rant to your best friend about not getting any sleep and the lack of privacy while pumping at work will be seen only by her.

What was parenthood before social media? It was a lot more private, and really, there is no substitute for in-person visits, but when that isn’t possible, social media can be the next best thing. It also opens up so many parenting resources and avenues for creativity, information and validation. It’s a way for friends and family outside your local circle to see your kids grow up, and to me, that is pretty amazing.

This guest post is by a SmartMom Contributor. SmartMom is an easy way to receive fast answers to all of your parenting questions from the convenience of your mobile device.  We’re launching in the app store soon – Visit our website http://smartmom.co for early access! 

 

My Mom Jayne: How Mariska Hargitay Shared Her Story in the Most Beautiful Way

by Leave a Comment

Jayne Mansfield Com X-M103-001

Da da da…can you hear the Law and Order theme in your head right now? That show has been around for a long time, and one of our favorite characters is Detective Olivia Benson, played by actress Mariska Hargitay.

I knew she had a famous mother, Jayne Mansfield. I also knew she was very young when her mom died in a car accident. I didn’t know much else about their story until I watched the new documentary on HBO Max, My Mom Jayne. And it was one of the best documentaries I have ever seen.

Jayne Mansfield was born Vera Jayne Palmer on April 19, 1933. She was an actress, a 1950s and 1960s sex symbol, and known for her blonde bombshell persona. She was also a mother of five children. And she died at just 34 years old, on June 29, 1967. Mariska was only three and has no really memory of her mother.

In the documentary, Mariska’s pain about not knowing her mother comes through. It’s heartbreaking. She is the 4th child of Jayne Mansfield, so her older siblings do have more memories of her, especially her older sister Jayne Marie, who was born in 1950. You can’t help but think about what it might be like to know so many who knew your mother, so many had memories of her, even from a distance, and that you, as her daughter, had pretty much nothing.

The documentary features numerous interviews with individuals who knew Jayne and Mariska, from her stepmother to all of her siblings. We see clips and photos of Jayne, from press tours, USO tours with Bob Hope, to life at home. Mariska also shares so much about her own history that she has never shared publicly before.

“I’ve spent my whole life distancing myself from my mother,” Mariska says in the trailer for My Mom Jayne. “Reclaiming our family story. That is what this is about for me. Because she’s a part of me. I want to know her as Jayne. My mom, Jayne.”

Whether you’re a fan of Mariska Hargitay or Jayne Mansfield, or not, My Mom Jayne is a fantastic story about life, love, loss, grief, family, and healing. I will be thinking about it all for a long time.

Photo Credit: ETH-Bibliothek Zürich, Bildarchiv / Fotograf: Comet Photo AG (Zürich) / Com X-M103-001 / CC BY-SA 4.0, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Morgan Freeman Served in the United States Air Force

by Leave a Comment

Whether you know him from his roles in Driving Miss Daisy, The Shawshank Redemption, or more recently, Now You See Me, you are aware of Morgan Freeman’s exceptional acting abilities. In addition to his vast acting accomplishments, Morgan Freeman also served in the military. In the US Air Force.

Joining the Military

Morgan Freeman was born on June 1, 1937, in Memphis, TN. He was the son of a teacher and a barber and moved around a bit as a child. He lived in Mississippi, Indiana, and Chicago.

When he graduated from high school in 1955, he turned down a partial drama scholarship to Jackson State University to enlist in the Air Force. While serving, he was an Automatic Tracking Radar Repairman. Morgan Freeman served from 1955 to 1959 and rose to the rank of Airman First Class.

His Acting Years

Although he had his first acting role in a school play at the age of nine, it was after his military service that he moved to Los Angeles and began taking acting classes. His first Broadway debut was in 1967 with an all-black version of Hello, Dolly!

In 1971, he starred in a PBS Children’s TV show, The Electric Company. His first credit in a feature film was also in 1971, with Who Says I Can’t Ride a Rainbow. However, it was in 1989, when he appeared in four movies, Glory, Driving Miss Daisy, Lean on Me, and Johnny Handsome, that he really started to gain popularity.

The 88-year-old actor then went on to star in memorable roles in the 1990s, such as The Shawshank Redemption, Se7en, and Kiss the Girls. In total, Morgan Freeman has 152 acting roles, 23 producing roles, and two directorial roles on IMDb.

Most recently, you can find him in the TV show Lioness, as well as the Now You See Me: Now You Don’t movie, coming out later this year. He has been married twice, although now divorced, and has four children.

Image Credit: Georges Biard, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Parable of the Sower and Reading Dystopian Books in a Time of Crisis

by Leave a Comment

Parable of the Sower and Reading Dystopian Books in a Time of Crisis

I read my first Octavia Butler book, Kindred, a few years ago and loved it. I figured it was time to read Parable of the Sower. Originally written in 1993, this dystopian story is set in California in 2024. Although Octavia Butler passed away in 2006, she seemed to have predicted some of what we are going through currently.

Now, our world isn’t exactly like the world in the Parable of the Sower, but some of it rings true. California is undergoing a crisis, and getting water regularly is a problem. The young protagonist, Lauren, is 15 years old and lives with her family behind a makeshift wall of their neighborhood. If you leave the neighborhood, you are putting yourself at enormous risk. They try not to go out unless necessary. When they do, they take a lot of precautions.

Everyone is trying to survive, and Lauren is trying to figure out what she believes about God and the universe. She can also feel other people’s pain, which can be challenging at times.

The Parable of the Sower was one of those books where you go on a journey with the main character. She experiences a lot of tricky situations you have probably never experienced. It makes you think about what you would do and what decisions you might make.

In addition to this book, I am drawn to different dystopian novels. There is just something about them that pulls me in. I don’t see them as guidebooks for the future, well maybe a little bit sometimes. I do want to see how people handle these environments. I like how they strive for freedom and battle the ones in charge.

What can the “little guy” do when faced with such a change from the norm? What do relationships look like in this environment? How do they grow as a person through what they are going through?

Not everyone likes to read these types of books during our current unprecedented times. However, I find them comforting for some reason. I plan to read or re-read several other books this year. These include The Handmaid’s Tale, 1984, The Hunger Games, and The Parable of the Talents. It is the sequel to Parable of the Sower.

What’s on your reading list?

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts!

✍️

 Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? 

🌻

 Have advice for new military spouses? 

🌸

 Want to share about your duty station? 

🏡

If so…head on over to my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form to get started.

Parable of the Sower and Reading Dystopian Books in a Time of Crisis

Fort Moore and the Story of a Military Spouse

by Leave a Comment

A few years before my husband joined the military, we went to the movies to watch the 2002 film We Were Soldiers. What I really enjoyed about this movie was that we not only got the story of Lt. Gen Harold G. Moore, played by Mel Gibson, but we also got the story of his wife, Julie Moore, played by Madeleine Stowe. As we watched scenes of the men going off to Vietnam, we also watched scenes of the wives at home at Fort Benning. Even back then, before I knew I would be a military spouse, I could see what these spouses went through and how they needed one another.

As the years went on and I, too, became a military spouse, I could relate even more to these women. Although my husband served in a different war during a different time, my time in Germany was similar to that of the women portrayed in this movie.

My favorite scene of We Were Soldiers is a deleted scene. As we start to watch, we see helicopters flying, and then the camera goes to the chapel back at home. One of the wives starts to sing the hymn “On the Solid Rock I Stand” but is unable to finish because she is trying to hold back her tears. Julie Moore and the other members of the congregation help her by starting to sing the song, too. The movie then goes back to the helicopters.

What I love about this scene is that it gives us an example of the military community and how we can step in to help each other. Especially in a time of war, we need each other more than ever. You can also catch the real Julie Moore and her daughter sitting behind Keri Russell.

On May 11, 2023, Fort Benning became Fort Moore to honor Hal and Julie Moore. Maj. Gen. Curtis A. Buzzard, Maneuver Center of Excellence and Fort Moore commanding general stated, “Together, Hal and Julie Moore embody the very best of our military and the very best of our nation. They were dedicated to their country, committed to their family, and inspired generations of Soldiers to follow in their footsteps.”

Hal Moore served in the military for 32 years after graduating from the US Military Academy in 1945. He wrote the book, We Were Soldiers Once…and Young which the movie was based on. We Were Soldiers depicts the first major battle of the Vietnam War in the la Drang Valley. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross after that fight.

His wife, Julie Moore, who he married in 1949, was an Army brat born at Fort Sill. In the movie, another powerful scene is when a taxi comes to Julie Moore’s door with a telegram, and she knows exactly what it means. She answers the door to see that the taxi driver just needed help finding the correct address and wasn’t there about her own husband. She gets very upset, rightly so, and then asks to take the telegram to the new widow herself. She also tells him to tell the taxi company to bring all of the rest of the telegrams directly to her.

Julie supported her fellow Army wives and families by changing how the Army delivered the casualty messages. As you can see in the scene, the Army was not prepared for all of this. Because of Julie, the Army changed its policy to what we see today: uniformed soldiers delivering the notices.

Julie wrote a letter to the director of We Were Soldiers in 1996 about her experiences as a military spouse. In the letter, she says, “It is really hard to describe the special closeness that Army wives have to each other. Even though I was lucky enough to end up a General’s wife, I never forgot that I started out as a lieutenant’s wife and the burdens they carried of raising young children with never enough money or husband.” You can read the rest of the letter here.

The change to Fort Moore recognizes both Hal and Julie Moore, who are both buried at Fort Benning Cemetery.

5 Shows You Really Should Watch On Apple TV

by Leave a Comment

This post does contain affiliate links!

Woman watching TV eating popcorn

Have you been sleeping on Apple TV? Don’t. Plus, it is super easy to get a free trial. I have gotten them through the Target app and offered a free month after buying a movie ticket. But honestly? There are enough fantastic shows on that channel that it is worth the $9.99 a month you would pay to try it out if you can’t find a free trial.

For All Mankind

This show sucked me in and hasn’t let me go yet. Imagine if, during the 1960s, during the space race between us and the Soviet Union, they got to the moon first. How would that have changed things? Well, according to this alternative history TV show, a whole lot. Each season gives us a period of time and then jumps ahead, so we get to see many of the same characters through the decades. There are four seasons, with, hopefully, season five coming out sometime next year. Created by Ronald D. Moore, Matt Wolpert, and Ben Nedivi.

Severance

Severance is a fantastic show. It’s about to start its 2nd season. The premise is about a group of people who have been “severed,” meaning their work self and their nonwork self are basically different people with different memories. Adam Scott is the main character in this one, directed by Ben Stiller.

Bad Sisters

You know those shows where normal people do something they shouldn’t, and it just leads to more and more issues? This is one of those, but it is about five sisters who live in Dublin. There is mystery, humor, and a quick binge. Sharon Horgan created and wrote this show, but also stars as one of the sisters.

Lessons in Chemistry

Based on the book by Bonnie Garmus, Lessons in Chemistry is about a woman, Elizabeth Zott, played by Brie Larson, who dreams of being a scientist in the 1950s. Unfortunately, this is not an easy thing to do as a woman during this time. She eventually takes a job teaching housewives how to cook on TV.

Dark Matter

Dark Matter is a sci-fi dream! Based on the book by Blake Crouch, this is the story of a professor, Jason Dessen, who is abducted into an alternate version of his life. If you love alternate reality stories, this one is for you. It will also keep you on the edge of your seat. Staring Joel Edgerton and Jennifer Connelly.

Other Apple TV Shows Worth Checking Out

I haven’t watched all of these shows, and some of them might not be for you, but they can be worth checking out:

Ted Lasso, Sillo, Shrinking, the Morning Show, Foundation, Lady in the Lake, Sugar, and Pachinko.

What are your favorite Apple TV shows???

Why You Should Dive Into Books During Your Next Deployment

by

Why You Should Dive Into Books During Your Next Deployment

This post does contain affiliate links!

Twilight. I read all the Twilight books during one of our deployments. A friend told me about them, and even though I was already 30 years old, I dove right into that series.

I am a huge reader. I usually average about 70 books a year and would love to read more. I always have a couple of books going and always aware of some of the newest books that are out there.

I love most types of fiction, from a sweet romance to a crazy sci-fiction story. I read paper books, on my Kindle, and audiobooks. I always have at least one book with me. I also enjoy certain types of non-fiction, such as memoirs or fun topics that interest me.

There is not one day that goes by where I don’t read some part of a book, I just can’t do it. Reading is like brushing my teeth for me. Reading is just something I always do.

During deployments or any time my husband has been away from us, books have become even more important. I love to get lost in a series, read about some other time in history, or another place that I can’t physically visit at the moment.

I love a good binge-watch but there is something about getting lost in a good book that just takes me away from what I am dealing with and heals my soul a little bit. Stories are so very therapeutic and perfect to dive into during a deployment.

A good book can warm your heart, allow you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and distract you from something you would rather not think about.

Reading a good book can be a form of self-care and as military spouses, we know how important that is. Reading can keep you busy and staying busy is a must during a deployment.

If you haven’t picked up a book for a while, maybe now is the time? There are so many good ones. So many books to get lost in. So many books that will take you to another place.

If you are feeling lonely and missing your spouse, a book can put you in a better mood. If you are having a rough time with the kids, a book can make you laugh, and help you feel better. If you are dying to be somewhere else, a book can take you all over the world.

On a practical level, reading a book before bed can make you sleepy. If you are having trouble falling asleep when your spouse is deployed, try reading in bed. My Kindle is right by my bed so if I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, I can read for a bit in order to do so. Works about 90% of the time 🙂

If you would love to read and feel like you don’t have any time, let me make a few suggestions.

  • Try audiobooks. You can listen to these while you are doing chores, while driving, or going on a walk. Use your library card with either Overdrive or Hoopla to check them out for free.
  • Always have a book handy. Put one in your car, put the Kindle app on your phone, or stick one in your purse. There are so many times you might have to wait somewhere and if you have a book on you, you can read a chapter or two. Jessica Turner’s book, The Fringe Hours: Making Time For You is a great read all about finding those extra moments.
  • Don’t think you have to read a book all in one sitting. I think part of the reason I can read so much is that I don’t feel the need to finish a book all in one sitting. If that were the case, I would never finish anything. Be okay with a chapter here and there, whenever you have time, and you will be able to get your reading done.
  • Read in front of your kids. Reading in front of your kids is totally fine. Just make sure they are safe, and you should be okay. You can read while you nurse, read while they are at the playground, or whenever you feel comfortable. Obviously, this is going to be an age thing and things will change as your kids get older but I don’t think kids growing up watching their parents read is ever a bad thing.
  • Join a book club. If you are really struggling, join a local book club. Usually, a book club will have one book you are supposed to read each month. Beyond that, at your book club, people will be talking about all the amazing books they are reading, and that can get your inspired too.
  • Join Bookstagram. Did you know that there is a name for all the accounts that share books on Instagram? Bookstagram is a wonderful place. I started an account just for books called The Fiction Book Cafe last fall and so glad that I did. I can talk about all the books I am reading and learn about what other book lovers are reading too. Make sure to join me over there 🙂

Need some suggestions on what to read?

For a sweet love story, check out One Day in December by Josie Silver, One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid, or The Bride Test by Helen Hoang.

For a book with a twist, check out The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine, Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell, or Lock Every Door by Riley Sager.

For an amazing story that spans many years, check out Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, the Great Alone by Kristin Hannah, or Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane.

For a fantastic historical fiction book, check out Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate, Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly, or The Last Year of the War by Susan Meissner.

For an emotional story, check out An American Marriage by Tayari Jones, This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel, or The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne.

For a really amazing memoir, check out Educated by Tara Westover, Becoming by Michelle Obama, or Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive by Stephanie Land

For a book about time travel, check out the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon, The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, or 11/22/63 by Stephen King. 

Looking for more suggestions? Check out my Goodreads and connect with me there too 🙂

How has reading helped you during a deployment?

Famous Military Veterans: Tom Selleck Served in the Military

by 1 Comment

Famous Military Veterans: Tom Selleck Served in the Military

Tom Selleck is one of my favorite actors! He is also a veteran, having served in the California National Guard.

The actor got rose to popularity after he played P.I. Thomas Magnum, in the TV show, Magnum P.I, which ran from 1980-1988. I remember watching a lot of Magnum P.I. on reruns in the 1990s and loved that show. It’s so 80s!

Today, you can find him on the show Blue Bloods, as New York City Police Commissioner Frank Reagan. Another great show about a family of police officers. Selleck plays a widow and father of the family. Actor Len Cariou plays his father on the show, even though the two are only about six years apart in real life.

You might also remember Tom Selleck in the 1987 comedy, Three Men and a Baby, or as Monica Geller’s love interest in Friends.

Tom Selleck was born in Michigan in 1945, and his family moved to Sherman Oaks, CA just a few years later. He started acting while in college and stared in a Pepsi commercial in 1967. He was also drafted into the Vietnam war the same year.

He joined the California National Guard and served from 1967-1973 in the 160th Infantry Regiment of the California Army National Guard. In fact, he even appeared on the California National Guard recruiting posters at one time.

In a quote on Military.com, the actor has said, “I am a veteran; I’m proud of it. I was a sergeant in the U.S. Army infantry, National Guard, Vietnam era. We’re all brothers and sisters in that sense.”

Tom Selleck is a big supporter of the military, and we thank him for his service. In 2009, he joined the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund as national spokesman for the new Education Center being built on the National Mall.