Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Stationed in Germany

What You Need to Know About Being Stationed in Germany

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So happy to have Malori from Warrior Life Wellness to tell us all about what it is like to be stationed in Germany! She has some great advice for anyone who will be pcsing to Germany anytime soon. Please let me know if you would like to guest post about where you are stationed!

stationed in Germany

Our OCONUS PCS

Moving to Germany is something that happens to “other military families.”  Just like I never thought I would marry a soldier, I never thought we’d get stationed overseas – even though it was a dream of mine to live in Europe.  Well, as you probably have guessed by now, I did marry a soldier and we did get stationed overseas! I knew we were in for the adventure of a lifetime, but I did not have proper expectations of what that entirely meant.

When my husband Mark received orders for Germany in 2017, he was deployed to east Africa.  I was back at Ft. Bragg, in my senior year of nursing school, so to say we had a lot on our plates is an understatement!  As it would happen, my husband had to report to Germany before I was done with school. So he did the geo-bachelor life for about three months.

stationed in Germany

This meant I had the pleasure of handling our first OCONUS PCS alone….while finishing nursing school.  (OCONUS = outside the continental United States) I don’t suggest these circumstances, but I did gain a certain sense of accomplishment from completing the move (and school) without anything major going wrong.  My parents came for my graduation and to help with the last-minute PCS tasks, like overseeing the movers. If you are ever in a solo PCS situation, especially overseas, get your family or close friends to help! It makes a world of difference.

Five days after graduation, I was on the Patriot Express to Ramstein, Germany; final destination, USAG Wiesbaden.  It was wonderful to simply live with my husband again after almost a year apart! But on top of that, we had a new country to explore together.  I definitely had my rose-colored glasses on, though. While having a positive attitude about any PCS is important, it’s equally important to have realistic expectations.  As my husband likes to preach: “expectation management.” This is not about being negative or complaining, but simply having a balanced outlook for your transition. It helps lessen that feeling of overwhelm.

Expectation Management

The first thing I did not expect was being so jet-lagged.  I had flown to Europe once before, when I was 20, and I don’t remember feeling particularly jet-lagged. But 12 years later? I felt like I got run over by a bus every day for at least two weeks! Even with sleeping 10-12 hours a night at first, I couldn’t conjure up my normal energy.  So my first piece of advice, for anyone moving overseas, is to give yourself plenty of time to adjust and sleep. It really does take several weeks to get over jet lag!

Another thing I did not expect was experiencing culture shock.  I again drew on my former European experience. I had spent 5 weeks in Austria for a summer music program, and I remember feeling like I fit in so well.  However, visiting Europe, even for an extended trip, is much different than coming here to live. (Austria is also very different culturally from Germany, despite both being German-speaking countries.)  I also assumed that since Germany is a first-world, western country, surely culture shock would not exist!  I even have experience with German culture, from doing Bavarian folk dancing and taking over four years of German language courses.

stationed in Germany

But my pride got the best of me and I struggled big time with adjusting.  Even if you live on post, like we are mandated to do, you have to get used to the driving rules, shopping on the economy, cultural nuances like shops being closed on Sundays, and most of all, the language.  There are also specific rules tied to being here with the military, like how to use VAT forms, what you cannot have sent to your APO box, getting your home-based business approved, and more. Expect that you will have a significant adjustment period to the culture. Because culture shock threw me for such a loop, I made a YouTube video about it! https://youtu.be/mqFEQIv4IjA You are not alone in your feelings.

Something else I have a bad habit of doing for any PCS is to believe that I can jump into a routine right away.  In our last PCS I was forced to do that, as I started pre-nursing courses almost immediately after arriving at Ft. Bragg. Other things like learning the best places and times to shop, learning the lay of the land, and finding your tribe take time.  Yet I always have this underlying belief that “this time” I’ll be more efficient. But with an OCONUS move, you have all the normal PCS adjustments to make, plus the foreign country aspect. With myself, I also had the added stress of studying for the NCLEX (RN nursing board exam), which I had to take in London, England.

stationed in Germany

So with an overseas move, I’d say to give yourself at least six months to feel fully “adjusted,” if not one year. Don’t beat yourself up when you feel homesick or are totally frustrated.  Normally OCONUS assignments are three years, so you will have at least two years during which you’ll feel pretty comfortable!

What helps with the transition overseas?

What makes a positive difference when moving to a foreign country is receiving your household goods.  (It IS possible for government housing to feel like home!) It also helps to meet your neighbors and to make at least one close friend with whom you can commiserate and go through this unique experience together.

stationed in Germany

Finally, get out and travel, travel, TRAVEL! The biggest mistake I made last year was isolating myself. I’m a combination introvert/extrovert, and after nursing school my extrovert was burnt out. I craved quiet time.  But after awhile, it got too quiet and anxiety set in. A great pick-me-up is finding a new place to visit during each month’s 4-day weekend! Make a list of your dream travel list, and then strategically plan your year according to the training holiday schedule.  It might take several trips to get the hang of European travel planning, but tons of traveling is something you will NOT regret!

Since a blog post can only be so long, I’ll leave my advice and tips at that. However, if you want more support in your OCONUS PCS and adjustment period, come find me on YouTube!  http://www.youtube.com/c/MaloriMayor14 I have a growing library of videos about how to PCS to Germany, as well as what life is like here.  I love helping other milspouses in their move to another country. It’s a monumental task, but you will be forever grateful for it.  Embrace the journey!


Bio: Malori Mayor is a registered nurse, classically-trained violinist, blogger and YouTuber, and most importantly, wife to Mark for almost 5 years.  Deployments, PTSD, and TBI may have rocked their world in past years, but they weathered through the hard times together and are currently enjoying an overseas assignment at USAG Wiesbaden, Germany.  Malori has been casually blogging for over 10 years on various personal blogs, but last year decided to create her business and new website, Warrior Life Wellness. On it she shares her take on health, wellness, and life in Germany.  She also creates YouTube videos about PCSing overseas and life in Germany for other milspouses who are walking the same path. She believes that rigorous organization is key to a smooth OCONUS PCS, so she recently opened an Etsy shop, where milspouses can purchase printable Overseas PCS Binder pages for creating their own organizational binder.  Connect with Malori on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook! 

Blog: https://www.warriorlifewellness.com
YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/c/MaloriMayor14
Instagram link: http://instagram.com/warriorlifewellness
Facebook link: http://www.facebook.com/warriorlifewellness
Etsy shop: http://bit.ly/pcsbinder

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

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Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

“Well, I don’t have to redo Basic, and I leave for Germany in two weeks” was what my husband said to me when I picked him up from MEPS in November of 2005. I was pretty speechless. I knew that Europe was a possibility but to hear him say this was happening was a bit of shock.

I was pretty excited about this though. For one thing, my best friend was living in Austria and my mom had been able to live in Germany as a DOD teacher when she was my age. Plus, it’s GERMANY! Who wouldn’t want to experience that?

We ended up joining my husband in Germany in March of 2006 and spent four years stationed there. Being overseas wasn’t always easy. There were plenty of times, especially in the last two years, when I just want to move back home. But I am so glad I got to go and experience living in another country.

You see, when your spouse gets orders for an OCONUS location; you pretty much hit the jackpot. 

You and your family will get to experience life in a different country, one your friends back home will be envious of. Still, time after time I hear from spouses who don’t want to go for various reasons.

While I don’t know everyone’s specific story and situation, in most cases, if your spouse gets orders to go overseas, get excited and go with them. You will be glad you did. This is why:

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

Travel opportunities

It goes without saying that if you live overseas, you will have some amazing travel opportunities. I feel like we did not see as much as we could have and at the end, my kids were able to go to 11 countries before they even started kindergarten. They have seen the pyramids and the Roman Colosseum. They have experienced the German train system and had photos of them with the Alps in the background. I could go on and on about the experiences we had while stationed in Germany.

Life in another country

I wish all Americans could experience living in another country. There is so much you can learn about the other ways people live. There is so much to learn about humanity this way. America is a fantastic country, but there are plenty of other amazing places out there too. Living overseas will give you the chance to learn about other people in a way you simply can’t without being there in person.

Growing as a person

Being overseas will grow you as a person. It will push you out of your comfort zone. You will have to try things you never thought you would. I know my four years overseas has made me the person I am today.

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS OrdersBecause you might not get another chance

When we first went over to Germany in 2006, there were a lot more places we could be stationed over there than there is today. A lot of military installations have closed like Schweinfurt, where we were for the first two years and where my 10-year-old son was born. Some military families don’t ever get the option to go overseas. You never know what the future holds and you might not ever get the same opportunity to go overseas in the future.

The close military community experience

There is something about the military community overseas that is different from the military community stateside. When you go overseas, you can meet others who are trying to figure out their way around a new country just like you are. You spend holidays together because no one is going home, it’s too expensive. You connect in ways that it is harder to do when stationed in the US. Take advantage of this and enjoy all that the overseas community has to offer.

Have you ever been stationed overseas? Where at?

How PCSing Overseas Will Change You Forever

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How PCSing Overseas Will Change You Forever

How PCSing Overseas Will Change You Forever

We got on the train headed for our new home in Schweinfurt, Germany. I had never been to Europe before. I hadn’t even been to Canada. Only parts of Mexico back in high school. I was in another world, but one that looked similar to my own.

As we got on that train, filled with German businessmen and women, I realized something that stuck with me during our time overseas. That no matter where you live or where you grew up, people are people and just trying to do the best they can do each day.

Over the four years, we were in Germany, I learned so much about our world and even myself. Being over there wasn’t always a picnic, but I am so thankful that we spent the time we did overseas. I honestly believe that being stationed overseas will change you forever and that if you get the chance to go there, you should. Even if you are scared, even if you have never left home before in the past.

Going overseas will open your eyes

You will learn more, see more and do more than you ever would have if you had only stayed in your country. You will be challenged, and you will have some of your preconceived notions shaken out of you. You can’t help that as you see other cultures and realize that the world is a much bigger place than you ever thought it could be.

Going overseas will open you to travel

Traveling can be scary for some people. The PCS might be the first time you have been out of your comfort zone. Being overseas will help you get used to traveling. For one thing, you will have to make that long airplane flight across the ocean. For another, you will be more likely to travel and explore in your overseas location. You will take that traveling bug back home with you and will want to keep traveling as the years go by. There is so much to see in our world, and you will want to see as much of it as possible.

Going overseas will make you more compassionate

By spending time overseas, you will learn more about humanity and this will make you a more compassionate person. No longer will your own worldview be the only one you are exposed to. Military life will do this anyway but add in an overseas tour, and you will encounter even more people you would never have. This is a good thing. I believe that if more people could travel there would be a lot less hate in our world.

Going overseas will make you more creative

When you are overseas, you can’t help but notice the local customs of your host country. Some of them you will want to take home with you. You will also see how other countries do things and will want to work towards similar changes when you return home. Before you moved overseas, you might not have realized why other countries do the things they do or how they work out in real life. Now that you know, you can bring back some of those ideas into your communities back home.

Going overseas will make you appreciate home

You will miss a lot about the United States when you are overseas, and that can get difficult at times. Once you are back in the states, you will be able to enjoy what you missed again. Whether it is how close your family is or taking trips to your favorite landmarks, going overseas will help you appreciate where you come from.

Not everyone gets to experiences pcsing overseas when they are in the military so if you do, take advantage of your time over there. Learn what you can and bring that back home with you. A PCS overseas will change you forever, and that can be a magnificent thing.

Have you ever been stationed overseas? Where at?

Bloom Where You Are Stationed

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Bloom Where You Are Stationed“I hate it here.”

“We just got orders there and I am scared. I have only heard bad things.”

“I really don’t want to leave here and have to move there. It is the worst place we could go.”

“I really just want the next three years to pass quickly so we can move somewhere else.”

“This place is so boring. There is nothing to do here. I hate it.”

Have you heard people say things like that before? Maybe it was you? I am not going to lie. I was so ready to leave Germany after we had been there a few years. That was hard for me. Very hard. And it was Germany. A place many people would LOVE to go and who never want to leave.

It was the end of 2007. I was standing outside a bookstore with my Mother-in-law in California during our post-deployment vacation. “I don’t want to go back to Germany. I really really don’t” I told her. And I didn’t. I just wasn’t excited about going back. I knew another deployment was coming and didn’t want to be over there anymore. However, my husband still had a few years left before we would move back to the US.

I did what you have to do as a Military Spouse, I sucked it up and got on the airplane and we went back “home” to Germany.

 

A few months later, we moved to a different duty station in Germany. Our housing was a lot better. So much so that I cried happy tears when I walked into our new home. But still, I was missing the United States and just wanted to be back there. I didn’t want to still be in Germany. Then I bought a new camera. I started taking pictures every day and started really noticing where I was. From the trees to the flowers to the old buildings. I was in a magical land. I needed to take advantage of that.

Things being what they were, having two little kids, I wasn’t going to be able to travel every week or even all that often. But I could put them in the stroller and walk around my village. I could walk them around town and into the country a little bit. So that is what I did. One Sunday my husband had to work so I decided to take them for a long walk. It took us five hours there and back but that walk was amazing and one I will never forget. We passed by forests, rivers, fields, apple trees, sheep and old buildings. I still enjoy looking at the photos I took that day.

If you are feeling like you are hating your current duty station, maybe you should try to change things up.

Grab your camera, grab a friend or just go and explore. You never know what you might encounter. Remember that once you leave, you might never be able to return. Try to find the positives in where you live, even if they are well hidden. Of course, some places are easier to do this than others.

When you can bloom where you are stationed, you can have good experiences anywhere you go. You will learn how to find the positives in every situation and figure out creative ways to enjoy yourself even if you are not feeling too happy at first. If you are set to go to a duty station most people don’t like, see if you can talk to people who do like it there. Find out what they have to say and find things about that place to look forward to. Make a list of positives and get ready for your next adventure as a military spouse.

Have you ever lived somewhere you couldn’t stand? How did you figure out how to bloom where you are stationed?

Giving Birth Without Your Husband

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Giving Birth Without Your Husband

If you walk into a room of Military wives and ask how many of them have given birth without their husbands, you would get quite a few hands. It is something that has happened to a lot of us. Despite planning, a compassionate chain of command and a lot of prayers, sometimes the dads have to miss the birth. This just comes with being a Military spouse.

Giving Birth Without Your Husband

The reason I had to give birth without my husband was because I was due right in the middle of a deployment. He left in August and I was due in December. In some cases, they might let someone stay back for a birth. That was not the case for us that time. When I was due with baby #3, my husband did get to stay back because he was not allowed to deploy until November and I was due December 1st.

He just missed the birth

With my Germany baby, the baby I had without my husband, I was due December 18th. I was pretty sure I was going to have him early because I had my oldest son two weeks early. They told us they would try to send him home for R&R in time for the birth. They ended up sending him back to Germany for R&R leaving on December 14th so he would be home on my due date. Yes, it can take three days to get to Germany from Iraq, even though it is closer than flying to the US. I went into labor the morning of the 14th and had him without my husband. He got to meet him when he was three days old.

Thank goodness for mom

Luckily I was able to have my Mom there with me. When I found out he might not be there in time for the birth, I asked if she could come out. Since we knew my other son was early, we had to plan on baby #2 being that early too and she came about 2.5 weeks before my due date. In the end he was only born four days early. I almost think the stress of knowing my husband wasn’t leaving Iraq until the 14th caused him to wait a bit longer to be born.

Sometimes they won’t make it home in time

In some cases, the service member is not going to make it home for the birth or even be home for a few months after the birth either. This depends on the situation, the unit, rank and all of that. During that first deployment, I had a few friends who got pregnant on R&R thinking their husband would be home in more than enough time to be there for the birth. In the end, the deployment was extended for 15 months total and the men were not allowed to go home to see their children being born. They got to meet them when they were about two months old.

If you think you might be in a situation where you will be giving birth without your husband, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Others have done it before and you will be able to get through it.

When you have to give birth without your husband

  • Find someone who can attend the birth with you. Family member, friend and in some cases a doula can step in when your husband cannot be there. Find someone you trust that you want to be by your side. This will make a big difference and you won’t have to go through the birth alone. Ideally, the father of the child is supposed to be there for the birth, but if he can’t, a good friend or family member is the next best thing.
  • Prepare yourself for the possibility. If your husband just left and they tell you he can come back for the birth, don’t believe that 100%. Things always change in the Military. Promises can be broken. Nothing is set in stone until it happens. Tell yourself early on that if he can’t be there, you will be okay. Then hope and pray that he can be there. It is all you can do.
  • Use Skype. We didn’t have this back in 2006 but these days women are giving birth while their husband is watching and cheering them on using Skype. Now this will take planning and help from the Unit but it can be done. Thank goodness for modern technology that this is even an option. Now a dad can help coach his wife through childbirth, even from overseas.
  • Take any help you can get..  When people find out that you are having a baby by yourself, they will offer to help you. Take them up on it. From watching your other kids to taking you meals. Don’t say no to this kind of help. You will need the help and be very grateful for it later.

As a Military spouse, you have to make sacrifices and giving birth without your husband could be one of them. Know you are strong enough to handle doing this and remember, you are not alone.

Have you had to give birth without your husband? How did it go?

 

 

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

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Happy to have this guest post by LeAnna on Hohenfels, Germany. Please visit my Duty station guest post page for posts on other locations or more information about how you can write a guest post about where you have been stationed.

Living in Hohenfels, GermanyHohen-Hells, Germany.  

Oops, I mean, Hohenfels; the Army Post in Nowheresville, Germany where the Commissary is often out of stock of the item you need most (like Pumpkin puree during Thanksgiving!), where it’s 30 minutes to the nearest big city and where you are thousands of miles away from family, friends and the nearest comforts of wandering aimlessly in a Target.

I suppose I can see the point of view of the people that have, not so affectionately, coined USAG Hohenfels as a “Hohen-Hells”. 

After all, the soldiers often work what seems like 24/7, there are the horrible rotation and exercise schedules, it has a small town community atmosphere where it feels like everyone is in everyone’s business and there are grey, dreary, rainy days that can last for months making you believe that the sun has permanently abandoned you.

Yeah, sure, this does sound like a miserable Army Post, doesn’t it??? So, who in their right mind would want to be stationed in a place like that!?

Well, me for one.  

Don’t get me wrong, my husband also has horrible rotation schedules, I miss Netflix and often dream of the conveniences of American life, like 24-hour Walmarts, just as much as the other members of the community here and yet, I often feel like I don’t ever want to leave Hohenfels.

That’s because I CHOOSE to see the positives.  I CHOOSE to realize how fortunate I am to be living in Europe!  I love Hohenfels, for all its faults and flaws, but more importantly for the endless positives it provides and everything that it has given back to me during this very brief period in my life.

The Beauty of Hohenfels and Bavaria

Close your eyes and think of Germany.  What do you see?  

  • Men holding beer steins the size of your head while wearing Liederhosen?

Check

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

  • Pretzels so big you can fit your arm through the loops?

Yup

  • So many Scnitzel varieties that you could eat a new one every day and still try a new one tomorrow?

Uum, do you need to even ask that!?

  • Cobblestoned streets lining the alleys of pastel painted houses so quaint and unique?

Photoshop and Filters not needed here!

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

No, these are not stereotypes of Germany…this is real life in beautiful Bavaria, where beer truly does run freely and fest season provides endless hours of polka music.

And not to mention the actual, physical beauty of Bavaria.  Spring time is like an artists’ dream come true when the canola fields bloom against the patchwork greens of the farm fields as the hills roll in the distance.  

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

Winter is like a picture out of a fairytale book as the soft, white snow drifts down on the castles and Christmas markets.

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

Summer hikes in the Alps or up a castle can leave you breathless, not because of the altitude or physical exertion but because you’ve rarely seen something so beautiful.

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

Sure, I never leave the apartment without an umbrella, but when you look past the clouds and when the sun does pop its head out, there is often nothing more stunningly beautiful than Bavaria.

The Community

The USAG Hohenfels Community:

What small town doesn’t have its nosy neighbors?  If you’ve ever lived in a location where stop lights aren’t needed, you know that you can’t often can’t even change your shirt without the whole world knowing about it.

But honestly, it has been the small community at the Hohenfels Army Garrison that I actually really do love.  For every person that complains about the Busy-Bodies, there are just as many, if not more, that say that they have made some of the best friends of their lives at this duty station.  And it’s clear to see how and why. 

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

Because there aren’t a ton of us here, that means we need to band together.  On winter evenings when black ice is making it dangerous on those steep hills, countless strangers get in their American trucks and SUVs and help out anyone stranded on a snowy incline.  If you are walking out of the mailroom with a box too large to handle, it’s only a matter of seconds before someone steps in to lend you a helping hand.  On the all too common rainy days, it’s not uncommon to see someone stop for a random soldier or spouse walking on Post to see if they need a lift.  It’s this small town feel that makes us feel like we have a tight knit community that sticks together in rain or shine (literally!)

The German and Off- Post Community:

No, not all foreigners love Americans (I know, shocker, right!?) but the German community, for the most part, is amazingly welcoming despite our loud, obnoxious talking in public, our giant SUVs and, what seems to be our inability to learn THEIR language. 

The German/American Kontact Club welcomes locals, ex-pats and military alike.  The schools and sports clubs on the economy almost always accepts any American child looking to learn more German and integrate more into the local culture.  The local farmers market Egg Man loves teaching me a new Bayerisch word every week as I purchase his farm-fresh eggs.

Living in these small Bavarian towns sprinkled around Post is like stepping back 50 years in the US.  You can leave your doors unlocked without fear of intruders.  You can send your small children down to the Backerei on their own for pastries without fear of abductors.  A fellow spouse put living in this idyllic setting so eloquently that I couldn’t have said it more beautifully, “I feel so safe in this little Bavarian Bubble and yet the world has never been more accessible.”  Which brings me to…

Travel

I don’t think it’s a hard concept to consider that the travel opportunities living in Europe are something most people only get to dream of.  Yet, many people choose to stay near the comforts of Post instead of taking advantage of all the amazing things this foreign world has to offer.

I get it, we have horribly bad work schedules here.  Kids’ school breaks don’t always align with the rotation exercises.  Rain forecasts dampen the mood to get out and explore.  The fear of what the world is becoming keeps many people from packing their bags.

But you know what all of these are? EXCUSES! Yes, valid excuses, but excuses none the less.

This is exactly the reason why I teach people in my book, “So You Got Stationed Overseas”  how to overcome those problems, take a positive outlook instead of a “woah is me” attitude, gain the confidence needed to explore a new location and learn to make every minute count of their short PCS abroad!

In the first four years of living in Germany, we were able to visit over 40 new countries, learn about cultures first hand I’d only heard or read about previously and made memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life!!!

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

Not getting out, not traveling while stationed abroad, as scary as it might seem at first, would be doing yourself, your family (and your photo book) a HUGE disservice! 

Living in Hohenfels, Germany

So, is it really a “Hohen-Hell?” here? Maybe.  I suppose it could be pretty miserable here if you choose to dwell on the negatives.   But what city, town or military installation doesn’t have areas to improve on?

Instead, I want to see at as a “Hohen-FULLS”.  Because USAG Hohenfels is actually so FULL of amazing people, full of beauty, full of adventure and travel and full of opportunities that can only come with living abroad and a unique community such as ours.

In fact, forget all the nicknames.  I’ll just simply call it “Home.”

About the Author

LeAnna Brown currently doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, so to delay major life decisions, her and her husband, Andy, have decided to move to Europe and travel the world via Travel Hacking.  After almost 40 countries down in four years and only a few thousand dollars spent a year on travel, they have learned to penny pinch their way to a bare minimalist lifestyle to help them see and appreciate the world.  You can learn how to travel for next to nothing as well at EconomicalExcursionists.com or get your daily dose of travel tips, advice and motivation by “Liking” them on Facebook or following the EconomicalExcursionists on twitter @EconExcursion.

 

When Moving Back To The United States From Overseas Is Hard

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We have been back from Germany a little over six years now. It was quite the change to go from a small village in Germany to Clarksville, Tennessee and the USA. I was so ready to be back in the states after four years. I think I kissed the ground when I got off the plane. I was home.

When moving back to the US from overseas is hard

Being stationed overseas is a dream for a lot of people. A chance to see another part of the world, to explore and to open up to other ways of living. The military can send a family that has never been out of the midwest and allow them the chance of a lifetime. But hardly anyone can stay overseas forever. I have some friends that have been able to stay for five-ten years but most people do come back to the states and have to figure out American life again.

That first week back was like living in a dream. Nothing seemed real. Nothing was familiar. Everything was confusing and it took some time to get used to living back in the United States. I think it took about two years before I stopped asking if a certain place accepted a credit card. “Yes Julie, most places do.”

This can be a challenging time. Some people are able to bounce back rather quickly and others have difficulty doing so. If you are getting ready for a move back home from an overseas location, this is what you might experience:

The Culture

When you live overseas you learn to live in another culture. Even if you live on post and don’t explore as much as you should. It is still all around you. You get used to the slower pace, the way the people are, the things they value. You become a part of it as well. Then you move back and you realize how different it can really be. There is a thing called “reverse culture shock.” This is when you come back from another culture and have trouble getting used to the culture you were raised in. You can also struggle with missing certain things so much that you think they are better than they really are. Once you get home and have them again, there is a bit of a let down because you were expecting something a lot better.

pcs to germany

The Military Community

The military community overseas is very different from the military community stateside. Overseas is more tight-knit. It has to be. People are not going home on the weekends. It is hard to have a life outside of the military. You have to depend on the military for a lot of things like your mail, American food and even education for your children. If you live off-post in the states you don’t have to depend on the military for as much. If there is a deployment, the community really bands together to get through it. It is different in the states. When you move back you will feel that loss and it can be a hard one. You no longer have your community. The one that helped get you through your struggles, the one you had fun with and explored another country with, the one who understood what it was like to be so far from home. That is hard to get over and hard to get back into military life without as tight of a community.

Spending Money

In most places overseas you don’t have as many choices. When I visited California in 2009, I stopped at a grocery store on the way home from the airport. I needed to buy some diapers. I stood in that aisle for about 20 minutes because I had the hardest time with all the choices. Back in Germany, there were only a couple choices for diapers. In the grocery store I was in, there were, at least, ten, maybe more. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around what I was looking at. In the states, you have a lot more choices from where to shop to where to eat. It can feel so overwhelming and it is easy to overspend. You also lose your COLA which is your cost of living allowance that you get while stationed overseas. This can be hard for some families. They say not to depend on that money when you are getting it but most people do anyway.

Feeling too Busy

A lot of overseas living is much slower paced than in the states. Where we were in Bavaria most places were closed on Sundays and they had a lot of holidays. You were not even allowed to wash your car on Sundays. When we moved back to the states life felt so busy. There was always so much more going on. Some of that I think was because my son didn’t start Kindergarten until after we moved back but I think the other part was just how much more relaxed things can be in other places. This can take some time to get used to as well because it is just a different way to live your life. In Germany, if go out to eat you have to hunt down your server when you are ready to pay. In the states, most places want to rush you out as soon as they can. It is all very different.

stationed in germany

Coming back to the states from an overseas tour is going to be complicated. Give yourself some time to adjust. Try to remember that you will find your place even if it takes a while. We have been back for six years and although I miss parts of my time in Germany, I feel used to the US now. It took a while but we got to that point. I am used to living here again. And you will get there too.

Have you struggled coming back from an overseas tour? What was the hardest part for you?

Amsterdam & The Netherlands

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Amsterdam

While we were overseas we were able to do a little bit of traveling. I am glad we were able to do this.  In May of 2008 I took a USO tour with some friends to visit Amsterdam & The Netherlands. It was a two-day tour but you were supposed to sleep on the bus. I think I was one of the only ones that couldn’t do that but it was still worth it, even though I never got to sleep.

Amsterdam

We were able to go to a cheese farm, a place they made wooden shoes, the Keukenhof where we got to see all of the tulips and beautiful flowers, we took a canal right around Amsterdam and visited a diamond shop. We also had exactly one hour of free time where a friend of mind was able to see the Anne Frank house. The rest of us didn’t think we had enough time to do the tour, although we did get to see the outside. I wish I had been a little more adventurous and done it even if it meant getting on the bus five minutes before we were supposed to be there.

Amsterdam

The USO is a great way to travel if you don’t want to plan the trip yourself. It is good for traveling alone, with your spouse or your friend. You sign up on post, pay the fee and then go where you need to go the day the trip starts. They have day trips, overnight trips and even week-long ones. You can also meet new people on these trips which is a lot of fun. If I didn’t have children when I was in Germany I would have gone on as many trips as I could afford to do but that just wasn’t possible.

Amsterdam

 

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I thought Amsterdam was amazing. I want to go back with my husband and spend a week there. In some ways it reminded me of what New York City would be like, although I have never been there myself. In other ways it reminded me a bit of San Fransisco. It was just big and amazing. Very different from Bavaria and maybe that was why it stood out to me so much. I was used to the German countryside and not a big city.

Amsterdam

I loved looking at the tulips at the Keukenhof.  They were simply amazing and thinking back to that reminds me to look for tulip festivals in the states. I know they probably won’t compare but they would be great to see too.

Amsterdam

When we were in the canal on the boat, I thought it was amazing to think of living on one of those house boats. What a different life that would be from my own. To be that close to water and to have to depend on it. To have a bike and no car. It feels like a different world and I find it fascinating.

That is what I like the most about traveling. Seeing first hand out other people live in different parts of the world. Understanding that my normal is not everyone’s normal and that is a good thing.

Amsterdam

The only part of the trip I would have skipped was the diamond factory. It really wasn’t interesting and they kept us there longer then they normally would have. A diamond went missing and they had to figure out what happened before we could leave.  I wish we could have spent that time in the city, walking around, visiting the Anne Frank house or doing something else more interesting.

Amsterdam

 

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Have you ever been to Amsterdam? What did you think? Have you been on a USO tour?

 

 

 

 

On Living in Wiesbaden, Germany

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On Living in Wiesbaden, Germany

Happy to have this guest post by Rebecca on Wiesbaden, Germany. Please visit my Duty station guest post page for posts on other locations or more information about how you can write a guest post about where you have been stationed. 

I had the privilege of living in Wiesbaden, Germany from January 2008 through December 2010. This was my first experience living overseas and it was an adventure! Back in those days, military and their family flew on commercial flights, which landed us in Frankfurt. We were then bussed to an inprocessing center and then finally bussed to Wiesbaden Army Airfield. At that point we were escorted to a downtown hotel and I could, finally, sleep.

On Living in Wiesbaden, Germany

Now, families fly into Ramstein Air Force Base, about 90 minutes from Wiesbaden and they are housed in a nice, new hotel, conveniently located close to the commissary, PX, and housing. While it is nice that families with school-aged kids are close enough for their children to walk to school immediately upon arrival, we really enjoyed the hotel that was downtown. It gave us an opportunity to explore, walk around our new city, and, upon our departure, visit the Christmas Market each evening.

Housing in Wiesbaden was 90% stairwell apartments. We lived in a new two-bedroom, one bathroom third floor walk-up. Contrary to the stories my mother-in-law shared about her Berlin apartment building, we had government provided washers and dryers in each apartment, so I did not have to descend to the basement to do laundry.

On Living in Wiesbaden, Germany

I loved our apartment. I loved that we were on the 3rd floor and heard no one above us. I loved that there were only 3 families in the stairwell and no one ever walked past our door or came up to the 3rd floor unless they were coming to visit us. I loved our neighbors. This was the apartment where our house because a home. Where we bought our bedroom set, first couch, and more importantly, where we brought our children home for the first time.

I was pregnant when we arrived in Germany, and when we left, I had two kids. In Wiesbaden, all prenatal care is handled by off-post, civilian providers. I had excellent care and delivered both of my children at St. Joseph’s Hospital, just a mile or so from housing. For everything else we saw providers on post and had no problems with any of the medical care. My children used the CDCs on post, both for full time care and hourly care and we were always impressed with the quality of the providers there.

As seems to be our luck, there was a lot of construction going on during our time. Improvements were made to housing, the commissary, the PX and that resulted in some frustrating times. However, those improvements have been well received. Wiesbaden has grown tremendously in the past few years, and with all those people, these changes were necessary. I just wish we’d been able to enjoy them.

On Living in Wiesbaden, Germany

We were, incorrectly, told we would not need a car in Germany. Wrong! We ended up purchasing one there, that we shipped back with us. And we bought a second car, for my husband to use to get back and forth to work. Most people buy and sell the second car around PCS season, so it is easy to find something affordable and quick. You absolutely need at least one car, as most housing is not on the airfield.

We travelled as much as we could. With four deployments, one long TDY, and a high op-tempo, my husband didn’t have the time to travel. With two pregnancies resulting in two kids under 2, I didn’t have the energy. And with the exchange rate not in our favor, we had to budget accordingly. I was strongly encouraged by friends to save the COLA for travels and to not get used to living off of it. This was, and continues to be, good advice.

I did a lot of day trips with the Spouses’ Club, and we became very familiar with both Wiesbaden and Mainz, the university town across the river. We weren’t afraid to get out and explore. I got my license quickly after arriving and drove around a lot. It’s not as intimidating as some think. We really enjoyed the local scene and felt at home in the town.

We took a few bigger trips; Koln, Berlin, Portugal, Italy, and Munich. Berlin we did by train, which was so much fun. That trip was arranged for us by the travel agency on post. We drove to Koln for an overnight. We flew to Portugal for a four-day weekend and explored as much as possible. We took a longer trip to Nuremburg and Munich when family came to town. There were tons of USO trips, both day and weekend available, but with two little ones, we just couldn’t imagine those long days being fun. We did venture to Garmisch for a marriage retreat and I was so grateful to see Bavaria that summer.

Europe, like any duty station, is what you make of it. We did the most we could with the time and finances and kids. We made some of the best friends we could ever have. We grew into a fantastic family there. And we’d love to go back. We know it would be different, but we also know what fun we will have. I hope, that if Europe is ever an option for you, you embrace it head on.

 

mountainsRebecca Alwine has been a military spouse for over 8 years, traveling the world and learning about herself. She’s discovered she enjoys running, loves lifting weights, is a voracious reader, and actually enjoys most of the menial tasks of motherhood. She is an avid volunteer, most recently as President of the Fort Huachuca Community Spouses’ Club and has worked as a career counselor for transitioning service members. She has a Masters in Emergency Management from American Military University and a Bachelor of Arts in Geography from the University of Mary Washington. Her writing has been published both in AUSA’s ARMY Magazine, Military Spouse Magazine, on Many Kind Regards, and multiple digital magazines and blogs. You can follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.