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Giving Birth When Your Spouse Is Deployed

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Giving Birth When Your Spouse Is Deployed

Giving birth when your spouse is deployed is common in the military spouse community.

If you walk into a room of Military spouses and ask how many of them have given birth when their spouse was deployed, you would get quite a few hands. It is something that has happened to a lot of us. Despite planning, a compassionate chain of command and a lot of prayers, sometimes the dads have to miss the birth. This just comes with being a Military spouse.

The reason I had to give birth without my husband was because I was due right in the middle of a deployment. He left in August and I was due in December. In some cases, they might let someone stay back for a birth. That was not the case for us that time. When I was due with baby #3, my husband did get to stay back because he was not allowed to deploy until November and I was due December 1st.

He just missed the birth

With my Germany baby, the child I had without my husband, I was expecting around mid-December. Considering my previous experience with my oldest son being born two weeks early, I anticipated an early delivery. We were hopeful that my husband would be able to be home for the birth as he was scheduled for R&R around the due date.

However, in the end, he didn’t leave Iraq until the day I gave birth. It took him a few days to get to Germany. He finally got to meet our baby when he was three days old.

Thank goodness for mom

Luckily I was able to have my Mom there with me. When I found out he might not be there in time for the birth, I asked if she could come out. Since we knew my other son was early, we had to plan on baby #2 being that early too and she came about 2.5 weeks before my due date.

In the end he was only born four days early. I almost think the stress of knowing my husband wasn’t leaving Iraq until later caused him to wait a bit longer to be born.

When your spouse is deployed, they may not make it in time

In some cases, the service member is not going to make it home for the birth or even be home for a few months after the birth either. This depends on the situation, the unit, rank and all of that.

During that first deployment, I had a few friends who got pregnant on R&R thinking their husband would be home in more than enough time to be there for the birth. In the end, the deployment was extended for 15 months total and the men were not allowed to go home to see their children being born. They got to meet them when they were about two months old.

If you think you might be in a situation where you will be giving birth without your husband, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Others have done it before and you will be able to get through it.

When you have to give birth without your spouse

  • Find someone who can attend the birth with you. Family member, friend and in some cases a doula can step in when your husband cannot be there. Find someone you trust that you want to be by your side. This will make a big difference and you won’t have to go through the birth alone.
  • Prepare yourself for the possibility. If your spouse just left and they tell you he can come back for the birth, don’t believe that 100%. Things always change in the Military. Promises can be broken. Nothing is set in stone until it happens. Tell yourself early on that if he can’t be there, you will be okay. Then hope and pray that he can be there. It is all you can do.
  • Use Video. We didn’t have this back in 2006 but these days women are giving birth while their husband is watching and cheering them on using Facetime or Zoom. Now this will take planning and help from the Unit but it can be done. Thank goodness for modern technology that this is even an option. Now a dad can help coach his wife through childbirth, even from overseas.
  • Take any help you can get.  When people find out that you are having a baby by yourself, they will offer to help you. Take them up on it. From watching your other kids to taking you meals. Don’t say no to this kind of help. You will need the help and be very grateful for it later.

As a Military spouse, you have to make sacrifices and giving birth without your husband could be one of them. Know you are strong enough to handle doing this and remember, you are not alone.

Have you had to give birth when your spouse was deployed? How did it go?

How to Survive a Deployment Right After Moving Overseas

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When Your Spouse Deploys Right After An Overseas PCS

Okay, I hear the panic in your voice. You just moved across the world to an overseas location, maybe Germany, or Japan, or Guam, or somewhere you have never been before, and you don’t know a soul. And to add to that, your spouse deployed soon after. Before you even finished unpacking.

I have been there myself. I moved to Germany with my 18-month-old to join my husband, only to get pregnant and have him deploy for over a year just a few months later. We were still settling in when he left.

When Your Spouse Deploys Right After an Overseas PCS

You just want to cry all day long. You just want to fast-forward time. You just want to get through the months apart, but how are you going to do that?

All your friends are half a world away. You don’t even know what to do for fun in your new home. What in the world to do?

Take a Deep Breath: You Are Not the Only One

First of all, take a deep breath. Remember, you are not the only military spouse who feels this way. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s commit to turning this deployment from a survival exercise to a thriving exercise.

Is it going to be easy? No! Are you going to break down sometimes? Yes. But there are things you can do to get through this season of deployment.

When Deployment Starts Right After an Overseas Move

Moving overseas and then saying goodbye to your spouse soon after can feel like too much all at once. You are still learning where the grocery store is, how your new community works, and what life looks like in a place that does not feel like home yet.

  • Start small. You do not have to figure out your whole overseas life in one week.
  • Make a plan. A calendar, a few goals, and things to look forward to can help the days feel less endless.
  • Find your people. Look for spouse groups, local events, neighbors, book clubs, playgroups, or anyone who helps you feel less alone.
  • Explore one step at a time. A short walk, a new café, a USO event, or a photo walk can help your new home feel less overwhelming.

Start With a Simple Deployment Plan

Next, I want you to buy a monthly calendar. I also want you to grab a journal, a pen, and a hot cup of coffee or tea and sit down at your dining room table.

Okay, once you have done that, I want you to take your journal and make a list of all the things you have ever wanted to do, learn, or start. Maybe you wanted to learn how to edit videos and start a YouTube channel. Maybe you wanted to start running. Maybe you want to get back into reading?

Fill Your Calendar With Things to Look Forward To

After you have made your to-do list, you need to start planning. Take out your phone, head to Facebook, and look up events in your area. Join a group for your duty station. Join a group for your new country. And fill up that calendar.

If you like to read, put book releases on there. If you love movies, put those too. Add when your favorite TV shows are coming out. The goal? Have something to look forward to each and every day.

“You can miss your spouse and still build a life in your new home.”

Find Friends at Your New Overseas Duty Station

Now, it’s time to find some friends. You are going to want to go to things that interest you. See what groups they have locally that you can join. That’s where you will start.

You also have neighbors; smile and say hello when you see them. Make conversation.

So now you should have a deployment to-do list, things on your calendar, and a plan for making friends. Now, you need to fill in the gaps.

Explore Your New Home One Small Step at a Time

If you are still looking for things to do, here are some more ideas:

Take a walk around your new duty station, or the areas surrounding it. Go on a photo walk. Try a new food. Sign up for a USO trip or an event. Just go and do one thing a day.

You Can Miss Your Spouse and Still Build a Life Overseas

The truth about deployments is you will miss your spouse, but with a little bit of planning you can find your way through. While you might be tempted to crawl into bed and stay there for months on end, you know that is not the best way through.

Each military spouse has to find what works for them. Whether you work outside the house or are an SAHM. Whether you have a lot going on, or you need to fill up your calendar. Find what works for you and use this time of deployment to grow as a person, work on projects you may not have had time for before, and make some memories for yourself. You will be glad you did.

Frequently Asked Questions About Deployment After an Overseas PCS

What should I do if my spouse deploys right after we move overseas?

Start by giving yourself time to adjust. Then make a simple plan for your deployment season: fill your calendar, find local groups or events, explore your new area slowly, and look for other military spouses who understand what you are going through.

How can I make friends at a new overseas duty station?

Look for duty station Facebook groups, spouse groups, book clubs, playgroups, USO events, local classes, and neighborhood opportunities. You do not have to meet everyone at once. Even one good connection can make deployment feel less lonely.

How can I stay busy during deployment overseas?

Create a deployment bucket list, plan small outings, start a hobby, read more, take walks, explore your new community, sign up for local events, and give yourself something to look forward to each week.

Is it normal to feel overwhelmed after moving overseas as a military spouse?

Yes. Moving overseas is a major transition, and deployment can make that transition feel even harder. Feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or unsure of what to do next does not mean you are failing. It means you are adjusting to a lot at once.

Military Spouse Spotlight: From Family Recipes to a Tres Leches Business in Guam

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Military Spouse Spotlight: Faith

How Sweet It Is: Creating a Tres Leches Business

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

Faith is originally from Arkansas and met her husband in 2016 when she was 18 and he was 19. They “got together pretty fast,” and Faith was introduced to his sisters after just two weeks. Because her husband was from Mexico and because Faith had an interest in and love for Hispanic culture, she was eager to learn how to make her husband’s favorite dishes.

His sisters gladly taught her how to cook Mexican staples authentically, beginning with corn tortillas. Faith picked up on it quickly, and she proudly remembered how surprised people were to learn that she had been the one to make tamales for a party; they had assumed his sisters had made them. 

Her husband joined the Air Force in 2019, and they were married shortly before he moved to his first duty station at Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota. Faith began to flourish there as she dove deeper into her cooking and baking journey; she especially found a predilection for tres leches cakes.

Because her husband doesn’t like classic American cakes and she doesn’t like buttercream, she found herself making tres leches cakes for birthdays, and people encouraged her to sell them. Faith was hesitant to market and sell her creations because she isn’t Hispanic, so she just continued to share them at special events with friends and family.

Faith changed her mind and took a courageous step forward after moving to Guam. Now, finding her family even further from authentic Hispanic food, she relied on her own skills and recipes to bring her husband and daughter a comforting, reliable taste of home. When her daughter turned four, she baked tres leches cakes for 35 people, and she was once again urged to sell them. This time, however, something shifted in Faith; there really was a significant gap in the market, people were eager to order, and she was feeling ready to share beyond her own inner circle. 

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

Finding Healing Through Baking

Shifting from baking for her family to baking for total strangers came with a certain amount of pressure and a great deal of experimentation and practice. “I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my baked goods,” Faith said. “It has to look good for it to taste good as well.” Guam’s high humidity is a challenge for all bakers, and Faith had to spend time tweaking her recipes to find the perfect milk amounts and ratios. She also learned through trial and error and customer feedback what flavors deserved a home on her menu. She started selling individual pans and quickly saw that the classic flavors didn’t sell; instead, customers gravitated towards unique combinations like strawberry crunch and Oreo. 

While Faith loves sharing her baking, her business has also played an important role in her postpartum healing journey. Faith had two incredibly difficult pregnancies filled with sickness and complications, and she was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety. Luckily, her provider was able to connect her with a virtual therapist whom she sees every two weeks, but her baking is a more frequent way to manage her symptoms. She explained, “I learned if I keep myself busy, I don’t dwell…like I normally would.” Baking has been a lifesaver for her because “it always clears my mind.” 

“I learned if I keep myself busy, I don’t dwell…like I normally would.”

— Faith

That is not to say that this rewarding and fulfilling business is not without its challenges. Because Faith exclusively breastfeeds her newborn daughter, she spends much of her day babywearing and has to take breaks to feed and hold her younger daughter. Her older daughter wants to help, but because she’s only four, she can’t be hands-on in the kitchen to help with customers’ orders.

Faith admitted that her business comes with a lot of late nights and that she often stays up until 1 AM to bake, only to start her day at 5 AM with their newborn. However, she is lucky that her “husband has been super supportive of this journey,” and he takes an active role in helping with their daughters in the evenings. It certainly doesn’t hurt that there’s always his favorite dessert in the house, too. 

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

A Difficult Journey to Motherhood

Initially, Faith and her husband planned to have only one child, but they changed their minds after their older daughter was born. They began trying for a second child immediately after moving to Guam, and, much like their first pregnancy, it took months before they conceived. Faith shared the fear and trauma that came with her second pregnancy; she almost died twice, and she almost lost her daughter when she was 16 weeks pregnant.

She lost over forty pounds because she had hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and was so sick that she couldn’t leave her bed. She spent her days hovering over a trash can while her older daughter watched TV nearby. She couldn’t even look at or smell food and gagged whenever she tried to make her daughter’s meals.

She was constantly at the hospital for fluids and appointments, and her daughter now worries that she’s going to be admitted whenever Faith goes to the hospital for an appointment. Because her husband is an instructor and has 19-20 hour-long workdays during Flag Week, he couldn’t be there to help as much as he wanted to.

As she was nearing the end of her pregnancy, Faith faced yet another worrying obstacle: she was in labor for three weeks with contractions coming every two minutes. She was finally induced at 39 weeks after trying to do everything to fully throw herself into labor. “I love babies and love giving birth but don’t mix well with pregnancy,” she said, and while she is still recovering from her traumatic pregnancy, she and her husband would love to have more children.

They plan to adopt in the future once their biological children are older, but they know this decision comes with a great deal of planning and luck. Because her husband plans to serve a full 20-year military career, they will find themselves frequently moving, so finding the right time to adopt will be challenging. Faith has also not closed the door on having another biological child, but she wants to wait a few years to fully recover first. 

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

Forming Friendships and Finding Her Village

When Faith first moved to South Dakota, she was newly married and far from home. She worked full-time at Walmart, and because her friends didn’t know and understand the military lifestyle, she felt lonely in her new home. It took her a year to become friends with one of her husband’s coworkers’ wives, but that friendship was deeply fulfilling. Ally became her oldest daughter’s godmother, and they have been able to bond over their debilitating HG pregnancies. Sadly, Ally moved right before she had her baby. 

Faith also became friends with her neighbor, Moriah, while they were in South Dakota, and they bonded as their husbands were deployed to the Middle East in 2023. They became like sisters and were each other’s village. Faith still talks with Ally and Moriah every day, but the time difference between Guam and the continental US can make conversations a little more challenging. 

Faith was initially nervous and resistant to making friends in Guam, though. Because she was in constant contact with her friends and family in the States, she didn’t feel like she was lacking in connection. However, her husband was worried she would be depressed and hate Guam if she didn’t put herself out there, so he encouraged her to socialize.

Faith is happy to admit that he was right, and her life is so much richer for being part of her community. She ran a monthly book club called “That’s What She Read” and joined the Guam Littles Playgroup. These groups helped her to find the community and village she so desperately needed but didn’t think she wanted. From offers to clean her house to a meal train, “they really stepped up and were villagers when I needed it.” 

“they really stepped up and were villagers when I needed it.” 

— Faith

Faith believes that it’s important to find friends who are comfortable with who they are. Because you “can’t talk to children about pregnancy and marriage, it’s so nice to find other adults are like you,” she said. When you find someone you can have authentic and engaging conversations with, “you build each other up,” and that support is invaluable in challenging seasons of life. Because Faith and her husband love Guam so much, they are hoping to extend their time on the island by another year. She’s currently excited for her older daughter to attend preschool with two of the friends she’s made through the Guam Littles Playgroup and to have some one-on-one time with her newborn. 

What Military Spouses Can Take From Faith’s Story

Faith’s story is about more than tres leches cakes. It is about love, culture, motherhood, healing, friendship, and finding the courage to share something meaningful with others.

  • Your gifts can become part of your military life story. What started as cooking for her husband and family grew into something Faith could share with her community.
  • Healing can happen in ordinary places. For Faith, baking became a way to clear her mind and move through a difficult postpartum season.
  • Community matters, even when you think you don’t need it. Faith found support through book club, playgroup, and friends who showed up when life was heavy.
  • Military life can stretch your definition of home. In Guam, Faith found ways to bring comfort, flavor, family traditions, and connection into a new season.

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

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Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

When I found out I was pregnant, it was not the picture-perfect moment my husband and I had envisioned. There was an image in our minds of an orchestrated and planned reveal. At the very least, we thought we would find out together. But when I took a pregnancy test on a whim a couple of months after we got married, our whole lives changed. We were overjoyed to be parents, but I was also filled with anxiety about what that would look like thousands of miles from home. 

I was symptom-free, but I had a sneaking anxiety in the back of my mind that only a test could quiet. I fully expected it to be as negative as it had been the month before, so I didn’t wait for my husband to come home from work. 

However, instead of the strong, single line that I expected, there was a noticeable second staring back at me. It was the middle of the night on the East Coast, but I immediately video called my mom, holding the test up to the screen. Was I seeing this right? Was that a second line? Even though she was half asleep, she confirmed, yes, I was reading that right. That’s a second line; you’re pregnant. 

I immediately called my husband in tears, overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. When I told him I had just taken a pregnancy test, he promised he would drive back as soon as he could. I found a digital test that gave me my answer in no uncertain terms. I was going to be a mom, and my lifelong dream of starting my own family was coming true. 

I was so happy and had been wanting to be a mom for as long as I could remember. However, I was also so nervous about this pregnancy. Being on a small, relatively remote island means that mothers and babies can be sent to Japan or Hawaii for more intensive and specialized care. I was worried about something going wrong and needing to fly for hours to get the resources my baby or I would need.

My mom had been hospitalized and suffered from severe morning sickness with both of her pregnancies, and I worried I would face similar challenges without my support systems. In this moment of massive change, I ached with homesickness for my mom and all that was familiar. I was on the literal other side of the world, and while I had made peace with that fact, this massive change rocked my confidence. 

When I went in for my first appointment, I was immediately struck by the reality of our projected summer move, which was less than a year away. Sure, there was the to-do list of setting up a nursery that would need to be packed away almost as soon as it was put to use, but there was also the pressure to get our baby a passport as soon as possible to prepare for an overseas move. I was lucky, though, to have my husband with me at every appointment. His calm and confidence were so needed to steady my bundle of nerves before and during those early appointments.

I waited with dread and anxious anticipation for the debilitating morning sickness to arrive, but to my great relief, I was spared from that painful fate. I was nauseous throughout the first trimester, so while I normally enjoyed grocery shopping and cooking dinner, my husband and I had a steady diet of beige colored foods.

Expecting Overseas: Expect the Unexpected

Baked potatoes, crackers, cereal, and toast became my best friends, and while I didn’t always feel my best, I still managed to work part-time and get some errands done. I waited with bated breath for the worst-case scenarios of bed rest and hospitalization, but they never came. I wasn’t feeling like myself, but I was managing. I could sigh with a little relief as I inched closer and closer to the second trimester and things continued to progress without concern.

The scariest moment for me was when I caught the flu at the beginning of my second trimester. I went from feeling fine to having full body aches like I’ve never experienced in my life. Even lying on the bed was painful, but that was all I could manage. My husband came home as early as he could in the evenings, but I spent hours alone, wishing we weren’t such a long and expensive plane ride away from home. While the two weeks of sickness and recovery felt endless, they passed, and our baby was just as healthy as before. I faced down my fears and came out the other side tired but stronger than before. 

In the months that followed, we were able to travel to Saipan, Kyoto, Tokyo, Virginia, and Florida as a couple, and I was able to make a trip to Virginia on my own as well. We had the good fortune of seeing both of our families, and spending time traveling with my husband did me a world of good. With his busy schedule and my transition to part-time and freelance work, it’s been easy to feel lonely, anxious, and unmotivated, but getting to explore new and familiar cities with our favorite people reinvigorated me every time.

I worried before every trip about the plane ride and the possibility of something going wrong, but every time, none of my worst fears proved themselves to be true. I began to believe with real confidence that everything was going to be okay. In fact, it was better than okay. Things were genuinely going well. 

My mom hosted a virtual baby shower for me, and both of our families logged onto Zoom to offer their support. We’ve been overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends in the States and our newfound community here in Guam. My husband’s coworkers have been incredibly generous in passing down baby items that their own children have outgrown, and our families and friends have helped to purchase the essentials. Our hallway quickly filled with Amazon deliveries and handmade blankets accompanied by words of love and support. We may not be physically nearby, but we are never far from their hearts. 

We found out that our PCS will be moved to the fall, and having at least two unexpected extra months before our next overseas move has given me infinitely less stress and infinitely more confidence. Traveling with a 5-month-old instead of a 3-month-old doesn’t sound like a big difference, but it means the world when you’re scrambling to get a Social Security card, passport, a reasonable amount of sleep, and enough visits to the pediatrician to assure yourself that a plane ride to another country is a good idea. Again, the things I most feared seemed to be less scary in the light of day. Life, with all of its complexities and curveballs, has a way of working itself out, even when we doubt it will. 

With every obstacle I feared or faced, it felt as though a guardian angel had been watching over our baby girl and us. My anxieties have been assuaged as each day passes without catastrophe, and while there’s been bumps in the road, homesickness, and the discomforts that come with pregnancy, there’s been such a growing excitement and peace as the due date creeps ever closer.

Giving birth overseas was not something I had planned for, and while my heart aches that we’ll be crossing milestones so far from our family, I know we have so much to look forward to when we get to visit (and eventually move back to) the States. While military marriages are filled with unexpected obstacles and unique challenges, life has a way of offering us support and strength when we need it the most. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

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When You Are Stationed Overseas for the Holidays

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I love her books but haven’t read this one yet.

Christmas 2008, my friend and I took our kids out to the local Christmas Market. We lived in a small village and even they had a small Christmas market. I love Germany during the Christmas season. They go big. Every town square is decorated. Most towns and villages have their own Christmas markets and you can tell the whole country is ready to celebrate.

We spent 4 holiday seasons in Germany and each one was so magical. If you are lucky enough to be overseas for the holidays, take advantage of what is going on around you. Once you move back to the states you will no longer be surrounded by the culture. You want to take advantage of that experience.

What You Need to Do When You Are Overseas for the Holidays

So what should you do when you are overseas for the holidays? Here are some ideas!

Visit Local Events

Whether you visit the Christmas markets in Germany or the light displays in South Korea, be a part of the culture and embrace what the country does to celebrate. You will make fun memories and have a lot of good stories to tell people back home about your holiday experiences in another country. Sometimes your military installation will also have events based on where you live. See what is going on and what you can be a part of. Remember, people in the US pay a lot of money to visit these same places during this time of year. You are already there, embrace what your host country has to offer.

Adopt a New Tradition

Learn a new tradition that will work for your family that you can take back home with you. For example, St. Nicholas Day. This is celebrated on December 6 in Germany. Children leave out their shoes and St. Nicholas will come by during the night and fill them with goodies. You also will get a chance to meet St. Nicholas around German towns and villages. If you happen to be able to be stationed in more than one overseas location, you can turn your own family’s holiday season into a mix of traditions you have picked up from all the places you have lived.

Think Outside the Box

Sometimes you are going to have to think outside the box when you are overseas for the holidays. If your Christmas day has always included making a big turkey but your overseas apartment doesn’t have a big enough oven to cook one, think about what else you can do. Why not make a traditional holiday meal based on what the locals eat? Or, invite your neighbors over for a potluck asking them to bring their favorite dishes. If it seems weird to do the holidays differently, just think of the changes as a new experience and one you won’t be able to have later on down the road when you are back in the states.

Take Photos and Share

Take a lot of pictures of your holiday and what you did to celebrate while you are overseas. Family and friends back home would love to see what you did that was different from what they do back home. You could also make a special scrapbook about your holidays overseas. One that you can look back at years in the future or share with your children who might not have remembered those years.

Even if you do go home for Christmas, see what holidays traditions you can take part of before you leave. Embrace your tempory country and learn from the people who call the country home. Enjoy the holiday season and make new memories with your family and new friends.

What holiday traditions do you plan to adopt from the country you are currently living in?

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

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Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

“Well, I don’t have to redo Basic, and I leave for Germany in two weeks” was what my husband said to me when I picked him up from MEPS in November of 2005. I was pretty speechless. I knew that Europe was a possibility but to hear him say this was happening was a bit of shock.

I was pretty excited about this though. For one thing, my best friend was living in Austria and my mom had been able to live in Germany as a DOD teacher when she was my age. Plus, it’s GERMANY! Who wouldn’t want to experience that?

We ended up joining my husband in Germany in March of 2006 and spent four years stationed there. Being overseas wasn’t always easy. There were plenty of times, especially in the last two years, when I just want to move back home. But I am so glad I got to go and experience living in another country.

You see, when your spouse gets orders for an OCONUS location; you pretty much hit the jackpot. 

You and your family will get to experience life in a different country, one your friends back home will be envious of. Still, time after time I hear from spouses who don’t want to go for various reasons.

While I don’t know everyone’s specific story and situation, in most cases, if your spouse gets orders to go overseas, get excited and go with them. You will be glad you did. This is why:

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS Orders

Travel opportunities

It goes without saying that if you live overseas, you will have some amazing travel opportunities. I feel like we did not see as much as we could have and at the end, my kids were able to go to 11 countries before they even started kindergarten. They have seen the pyramids and the Roman Colosseum. They have experienced the German train system and had photos of them with the Alps in the background. I could go on and on about the experiences we had while stationed in Germany.

Life in another country

I wish all Americans could experience living in another country. There is so much you can learn about the other ways people live. There is so much to learn about humanity this way. America is a fantastic country, but there are plenty of other amazing places out there too. Living overseas will give you the chance to learn about other people in a way you simply can’t without being there in person.

Growing as a person

Being overseas will grow you as a person. It will push you out of your comfort zone. You will have to try things you never thought you would. I know my four years overseas has made me the person I am today.

Why You Simply Must Go Overseas When Your Spouse Gets OCONUS OrdersBecause you might not get another chance

When we first went over to Germany in 2006, there were a lot more places we could be stationed over there than there is today. A lot of military installations have closed like Schweinfurt, where we were for the first two years and where my 10-year-old son was born. Some military families don’t ever get the option to go overseas. You never know what the future holds and you might not ever get the same opportunity to go overseas in the future.

The close military community experience

There is something about the military community overseas that is different from the military community stateside. When you go overseas, you can meet others who are trying to figure out their way around a new country just like you are. You spend holidays together because no one is going home, it’s too expensive. You connect in ways that it is harder to do when stationed in the US. Take advantage of this and enjoy all that the overseas community has to offer.

Have you ever been stationed overseas? Where at?

Having a Baby Overseas

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Having a Baby Overseas

Having a Baby Overseas

If on my wedding day you would have told me I would have a child in a different country, I would not have believed you. However, my 2nd little boy was born in Bavaria, in a German hospital with a German midwife and OB.

Thankfully my mom came to stay with us since my husband was deployed. He ended up missing the birth by three days. They sent him home on R&R, but the little guy just couldn’t wait.

I enjoyed giving birth in Germany, but the time after I gave birth was tough and lonely.

My mom couldn’t stay with me because there just wasn’t room and she had to be with my two-year-old. I missed my husband and was wishing he could be there with me. I couldn’t get comfortable, and I didn’t like the food.

Having a baby overseas

Giving birth overseas was nothing like my first birth, and that was hard to come to terms with. One night I asked the nurse for a diaper, and she couldn’t understand what I was saying until I used the word,”Pampers” instead. I was frustrated by the language barrier and mad at myself for not doing something about that before I got to the hospital.

If I had to do things over again, I would have taken a German class when I first moved there, or even when I was still in the states.

Although I was able to pick up a tiny amount of German, learning the language would have helped during my pregnancy and birth. Although a lot of Germans do speak English, some do not and knowing how to speak German would have been very helpful during my time in the German hospital.

Germany is a lot more pro-natural childbirth than the US is. They didn’t pressure me to get the epidural when I didn’t want one, and they did not push an induction. They did want me to have an enema which was an interesting experience.

After I gave birth the doctor told me that my birth went so well I should have had a home birth. I don’t think you would hear that very often from an OB in the US. At the time, I wanted a natural birth so giving birth in Germany made that much easier.

Having a baby in Germany

I will always look at my middle son as my Germany baby and remember how he came into this world. How his Dad missed the birth, but how my mom stepped in when he couldn’t. How her being there bonded us in a way I am thankful for.

I love that I had experience giving birth overseas as doing so was very different from my experiences giving birth with my other two boys in the US. When I look back at my time as a military spouse, giving birth overseas will be a big part of my story.

If you are getting ready to give birth in a different country, think about what an amazing experience doing so can be.

  • Make sure to ask questions
  • Find out what is different from what you are used to
  • Take a tour of the hospital
  • Take a class about giving birth in your host country
  • Talk to others who have given birth in the same hospital
  • Get prepared for the hospital stay
  • Learn the language if you are able to

The more you know about what the birth will be like the better prepared you will be and the better experience you will have.

Having a baby overseas

Have you ever given birth overseas? Where were you and what was it like?

How PCSing Overseas Will Change You Forever

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How PCSing Overseas Will Change You Forever

How PCSing Overseas Will Change You Forever

We got on the train headed for our new home in Schweinfurt, Germany. I had never been to Europe before. I hadn’t even been to Canada. Only parts of Mexico back in high school. I was in another world, but one that looked similar to my own.

As we got on that train, filled with German businessmen and women, I realized something that stuck with me during our time overseas. That no matter where you live or where you grew up, people are people and just trying to do the best they can do each day.

Over the four years, we were in Germany, I learned so much about our world and even myself. Being over there wasn’t always a picnic, but I am so thankful that we spent the time we did overseas. I honestly believe that being stationed overseas will change you forever and that if you get the chance to go there, you should. Even if you are scared, even if you have never left home before in the past.

Going overseas will open your eyes

You will learn more, see more and do more than you ever would have if you had only stayed in your country. You will be challenged, and you will have some of your preconceived notions shaken out of you. You can’t help that as you see other cultures and realize that the world is a much bigger place than you ever thought it could be.

Going overseas will open you to travel

Traveling can be scary for some people. The PCS might be the first time you have been out of your comfort zone. Being overseas will help you get used to traveling. For one thing, you will have to make that long airplane flight across the ocean. For another, you will be more likely to travel and explore in your overseas location. You will take that traveling bug back home with you and will want to keep traveling as the years go by. There is so much to see in our world, and you will want to see as much of it as possible.

Going overseas will make you more compassionate

By spending time overseas, you will learn more about humanity and this will make you a more compassionate person. No longer will your own worldview be the only one you are exposed to. Military life will do this anyway but add in an overseas tour, and you will encounter even more people you would never have. This is a good thing. I believe that if more people could travel there would be a lot less hate in our world.

Going overseas will make you more creative

When you are overseas, you can’t help but notice the local customs of your host country. Some of them you will want to take home with you. You will also see how other countries do things and will want to work towards similar changes when you return home. Before you moved overseas, you might not have realized why other countries do the things they do or how they work out in real life. Now that you know, you can bring back some of those ideas into your communities back home.

Going overseas will make you appreciate home

You will miss a lot about the United States when you are overseas, and that can get difficult at times. Once you are back in the states, you will be able to enjoy what you missed again. Whether it is how close your family is or taking trips to your favorite landmarks, going overseas will help you appreciate where you come from.

Not everyone gets to experiences pcsing overseas when they are in the military so if you do, take advantage of your time over there. Learn what you can and bring that back home with you. A PCS overseas will change you forever, and that can be a magnificent thing.

Have you ever been stationed overseas? Where at?