Finding Your Military Spouse Tribe

“Find friends,” they say. “You need friends to get through military life,” they say. You understand why they say this. Life IS better with the support of other people. The problem is, you have been at your duty station for six months now and are still struggling to find your people. You had people, but they all moved away. You are so busy with your kids that time with friends seems to never come.

You have never been one to make friends quickly. You are choosy and don’t trust a lot of people. You have been hurt in the past, and you just don’t want to give your heart to anyone. At the same time, you yearn for a circle. A circle of friends who get you and your life.

Friends who understand why you can never just turn off your phone, even during a meeting.
Friends who get how hard it can be to tell your child their Dad is not coming home at night.
Friends who know what saying goodbye to the love of your life is like and not just for a weekend business trip.
Friends who feel the pain of being 2,000 miles from your mom even though you need her at the moment.

These friends, you want them too. You see how close your spouse is to deploying and you know you want to find your people before that happens.

The truth is, sometimes friendships come easily. You met someone at swim lessons and the next day you are sitting in her backyard sharing memories about how you both were over in Germany. Her in 2002, you in 2010.

The truth is, sometimes they don’t come so quickly even though you are putting yourself out there, going to play groups and joining the FRG.

The best thing to do, the only thing to do is be a good friend, continue to put yourself out there and believe you will find your military sisters, even if it takes some time. Look at your local community, figure out what you can do each week to meet new people and have faith that your circle is out there.

Finding your tribe might take some time, but once you do, the benefits will be worth it.