Five Tips for When You First Become A Military Spouse

If you are new to the Military life you might be worried or curious about all things military. Everything can be so overwhelming at first. I remember those days well. I wasn’t really sure what to think about this new life. I was in a whole new world and I wasn’t sure how the military worked. I had a lot of questions and a lot of worries.

Here are five tips to remember when you first become a Military Spouse:

• You Don’t Have to Know Everything Right Away. PCS? CYS? TDY? What does all of that mean and what does it have to do with you? The Military has a certain way of doing things and the logic usually doesn’t always make sense. Don’t feel like you have to figure everything out right away. I am still trying to figure out how things work and I have been an Army wife for over eight years now.

• Don’t freak out over the little issues, bigger ones are coming. This can be difficult to take. Not something I am very good at doing either. But try not to freak out over the little things. Maybe your spouse has to work late or gets called into work unexpectedly. That is hard but, remember, that this is a part of the job. In the end, those little annoyances can really get to you. Try not to let them. Try to let them go and if you can’t, talk to a friend who can relate.

• Know that Military life is rarely fair. Sometimes you just get dealt an unlucky number with deployments or the unit your spouse gets put in. During our first deployment, we were the only unit in the brigade where soldiers couldn’t come home on extra leave for a birth. While this did not affect us as we had our baby during R&R, I know how frustrated other were. This felt very unfair to a lot of people. Sometimes the people who leave first are the last to return.  A lot of what happens doesn’t make any sense, it is just the way things are in the military. Military life just isn’t fair.

• You will make some of your best friends during your time as a Military family. You will find people to connect with and get through deployments with. You will spend Christmas and other holidays together, cry when the deployments start and cheer for each other during the homecomings. You will have to eventually say goodbye but your bonds and your memories will last forever. Going through any stressful period of time with others makes things a bit easier. Finding friends who understand our military life is one of the best things you can do.

• Not everyone handles everything the same way. This is important to remember. Everyone handles separation differently. Everyone handles pcsing differently. We are different people and certain parts of Military life might be harder for others. Keep this in mind if something is a little easier for you. You can help those around you who might be having a difficult time getting through. You might be someone who can completely handle giving birth without your husband while a friend might feel that is nearly impossible. You can support her as she goes through that situation. Be her rock and in return, she will be there for you when you need someone to lean on.

Going from a non-military life to a military one can be challenging. There a lot of differences. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other spouses and ask questions when you don’t quite understand something. Most people are happy to help a new spouse out 🙂