So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying
You were trying, or maybe you weren’t. But the test is clear. You are pregnant, maybe with your first, maybe with your 4th but you know what this means.
Another baby…
A sibling for your two-year-old…
You are growing your family, just like you wanted to.
And as happy as you are, as excited as you are, there is something looming over your happiness.
Your husband, the father of your child, is deploying soon.
And you aren’t sure how you are going to handle everything. You just found out you are pregnant and he’s deploying…
When I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, there was a deployment in our future. We didn’t know exactly when. We didn’t know how long he would be gone. But we knew the deployment would happen.
And then it did. He left when I was 25 weeks pregnant, and I knew I had to figure out how to find my strength to get through this. I knew this deployment and pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy.
I had an almost two-year-old I would still need to take care of. I was already so tired but now I would be solo parenting. I also needed to figure out who would be with me during the birth. We didn’t know if my husband would be able to be there for that.
After he left and the deployment started, I went into survival mode and somehow got through the rest of my pregnancy. I made plans with friends, I asked my mom to come to stay with me over my due date, and I took each day as it came, making the best of the time with just my two-year-old.
If you have just found out you are pregnant and know there is a deployment in your future, here are a few things to think about:
Make Friends
Making friends through all of this is going to be such an important thing to do. You don’t have to go through this alone and having people who get what you are going through or can be there for you through everything is a must. When you are pregnant, you can also start getting out there and meeting other moms through places like MOPS or other groups on and off
Make Plans
With being pregnant and having a deployed spouse, you are going to need to make some plans. Who will you have there during your birth? What do you need to buy for your new baby? What will you do when you go into labor?
Make Time For Yourself
You need to make sure you are making time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself and your baby. While staying busy is a must, you also want to make sure you aren’t taking on too much. Look at your schedule and see where you can take some time to just chill and relax, even if it is just for a few minutes a day.
Make Decisions For You
Being pregnant with a deployed spouse, you are going to have people give you all sorts of opinions about what you should do. From a family member insisting that you move home during the deployment to a neighbor expecting you to stay because she did. Try to figure out what would be best for you and your own situation and make decisions for you and your family.
So many of us have been through a pregnancy with a deployed service member or a spouse who has to be away for another type of training. When this happens it can bring up so many different feelings. You might wonder why your spouse has to miss such a precious time in your life.
Figuring out the tools to get you through this time is so important. You can figure out what works for you and your situation. And doing that can get you through the pregnancy, the birth, and any other time your spouse will have to miss.
Have you been pregnant during a deployment? What got you through?
Brianna
I was 8 weeks when my husband deployed, and I barely made it through! Worked from home, friends went home to their parents, far from my hometown; I was depressed! It was a struggle, but sadly and fortunately my husband had to come home early because of a death, and he had gone late. He was home 2 months before the birth.
It was hard for me to feel excited about the baby because my husband was more excited about deploying than the baby when we found out. And he wasn’t as engaged as I needed him to be while gone. It was hard! Idk if being farther along is better or worse emotionally. I’d say we’re less irrational at 25 weeks but you have to give birth without him! And then bring baby home. Logistically harder for sure.
Brittany
This article hit so close to home. Currently have a two year old with our second baby scheduled to be delivered via C-section on Monday. Hubby left for deployment two weeks ago. It’s been a long road mentally preparing myself. Long days filled with anxiety have occurred, but right now I feel good about my plan. I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by family including my parents where most do not have that type of support system. Trying to find the positives in having him most of the first year of baby #2, but thankful for technology that will allow us to stay connected. I know it’s hard on me here at home, but I feel it’s even harder for him as he feels his call to serve while also wanting to be here. Not the most ideal situation, but we will push through!