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You are here: Home / Military Life / How to be a Military Spouse With Boundaries

How to be a Military Spouse With Boundaries

February 5, 2020 by Julie 2 Comments

How to be a Military Spouse With Boundaries

I recently saw a post on Facebook that talked about how you can still be a good person and say no, and that you are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm and I loved it.

So many times, we as military spouses, get to a place of extreme burnout. We are simply taking on too much. And while I think there is nothing we can do about being the only adult in the home for months at a time or putting up with different military life challenges, we can control our boundaries and what we allow in.

I try so hard to avoid burnout. I don’t like the feeling that I have taken on too much. When I do that, I find myself way too stressed out and that isn’t good for anyone.

Boundaries are important for everyone. They can keep you grounded, and allow you to live your best life. They can help you stay calm in an otherwise stressful time in your life. Here is how to have them as a military spouse:

Say no

It’s okay to say no sometimes. I know, that can be so hard to do, but saying no sometimes is necessary. Saying no can be necessary to our physical, emotional, and mental health. Saying yes to everything just because we are asked is a quick way to become overwhelmed with everything.

Remember, you aren’t meant to solve everyone’s problems

Helping other people feels so good, and there are so many chances to do so on a daily basis. But remember, you are not solely responsible for everyone’s problems. You can lend a listening ear, or even direct them to a place that can help. You don’t physically have to do everything for them. That is just too much for one person to take on.

You can be picky about your friends

You are going to run into all types of people in your daily lives. Some of them you will get along with and some of them you won’t. That’s life. You might have a coworker that gets on your nerves or a long-time friend who doesn’t respect you.

A part of having boundaries is recognizing that you don’t have to be close friends with everyone. You can be respectful of other people, without having to let them into your personal life. You can be choosey when it comes to who you spend your free time with.

Remember, saying no to one thing means saying yes to another

One of the most important things about boundaries is that by saying no to one thing, you can be saying yes to another. There are only so many hours in the day, and you can’t say yes to everything. Think long and hard about every yes you give. You don’t want to say yes to something you really hate when that means you will have to say no to something you really love.

That being said, you will have to say yes to things you don’t want to do all the time, especially if you have kids. But even with that, choose your best yes, and what works for your family. Saying no sometimes will free up time to say yes to things that are most important to you.

Following these tips can be difficult sometimes. Saying no isn’t always easy, even if you really want to. But having some type of boundaries in your life can make things a little easier, especially when you add in challenges that come with military life.

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: boundaires, military life, military spouse

About Julie

Owner of Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life. Writer, reader, coffee drinker. Mom to three boys, wife of a National Guard soldier. Living life in Tennessee.

I wanted to let you know about the InDependent Wellness Summit, March 1-6, 2021! 

It's all virtual! And you can either sign up for Free General Admission or receive 30% off of their VIP All-Access pass using my link! 

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been an Army wife for almost 15 years now.

My husband of 18 years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, pcs moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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