So Your Husband Just Deployed, Now What?
So, you just dropped him off, he is on his way and the countdown can begin. You drove home, with your kids in the back seat, not totally sure how much they understand. You pull into the driveway, trying to hold back the tears. This is it, this is what you have been preparing for. And now he is gone.
You get the kids out of the car, heat up a pizza, and feed them quickly. You really just want them in bed so you can cry things out. You finally do and the silence is horrible.
You look around your bedroom and burst into tears when you notice his laundry on the floor, he never seemed to be able to make it into the laundry basket. At this point, you don’t care, you would give anything for him to be home that night. You would give anything to complain about how he isn’t putting his laundry in the right place.
You clean up, get ready for bed yourself and wonder how you are going to make it through the next nine months. It seems impossible. It seems like something someone else was supposed to do, not you. You need your husband home. You need your child’s dad by your side. You were not made for this.
You put your head on the pillow, the tears flow. How did this happen? How did you get from “I do” to “see you next year?” Why did your husband have to go? When so many others never have to leave?
You finally fell asleep because the next thing you know your alarm is going off. Time for another day. And then you remember, he is really gone. You are hoping you will hear from him today, that he arrived safely. That he is going to be okay. That you are going to be okay.
You walk around your house in a daze. You see his things, they make you cry, you are not sure what you should put away and what you should leave out. You know you could call a friend, but right now, you are just too sad to do even that.
For reals, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.
I know, it totally sucks that your husband just deployed but you are going to get through this. You are. You know how I know? Because I have been that person who didn’t think she could.
My husband has been deployed four times over the years and each deployment has been so difficult. The one thing they have in common is that I didn’t think I could get through them and I did. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle that time apart, but I did. And I know that you can too.
There were days where I felt like there was no way I was going to get through the rest of the days apart. Days when all I could do was take care of my kids, and try not to lose it. Days when I felt so broken because things felt so all over the place.
Solo parenting is one of the hardest things I have ever have to do. To be both mom and dad, for months at a time wears on a person. But somehow, some way I made it through and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally came home.
That is why I started this military spouse blog in the first place. I knew I wasn’t the only one trying to survive a deployment. I knew I wasn’t the only one going through a time apart. I know I wasn’t the only one whose husband was deployed and who was dealing with all the emotions that come with that.
If you have just started a deployment, or maybe you are in the middle of one, check out my deployment blog posts to help you during your own deployment. Remember, you got this!
Deployments are a big part of military life, there is nothing we can do to change that. However, we can find ways to make it through the months apart. We don’t have to be heartbroken the whole time, and if we feel that way, there are always things we can do. We don’t have to go through this struggle alone.
What is your best tip for surviving a deployment? How do you get through?