It’s Okay Military Spouse, It’s Really Okay, I Have Been There
There have been a few blog posts going around Military spouse circles about Military Spouses, entitlements, asking for discounts and what we should be allowed to complain about and what we shouldn’t. That we KNEW what we were getting ourselves into so we should only be happy and positive about Military life no matter what happens. As if it is possible to know.
After nine years as an Army wife, all of that is crap. No one should act entitled but that is not what most Military spouses do. Most of us do not act like that. However, we have been through a lot of crap. When people expect us to be happy about it all or never complain, they really don’t understand what it can really be like. Are their spouses out there that have only had good experiences with Military life? Maybe but they are a very small minority.
I think it is important for those of us who have been there to let the new wives know that they are not alone. That a lot of the frustrations they have had or what they have had to deal with is not an isolated experience but one that a lot of us can relate to.
I just want to say, it’s okay Military Spouse, it’s really okay and I have been there.
I have waited months and months to see my husband because of paperwork.
I have given birth without my husband in the same country.
I have missed best friends getting married and having babies because of the Army.
I have had to say goodbye to my husband more than once not knowing if I would ever see him again and if I did if he would be the same person I married.
I have had to watch as friends got that knock. The one that changed their lives forever.
I have had to watch friends as the husband they loved and adored become a completely different person because of PTSD and decided he no longer wanted to be with them or their children anymore.
I have said goodbye to friends that have become like family to me and know I might not ever see them again.
I have had to sit and wonder during a blackout knowing that my husband was probably okay but also not knowing why the blackout was going on.
I have sat with a group of wives while our children played and we tried to figure out how we would get through the next 3-4 months of a deployment that was supposed to have ended the month before.
I have been through the lonely nights, the jealousy of knowing our civilian friends have never had to go longer than a few days without their husband, of being mom and dad to the child, of comforting sad kids that just want their Dad at a soccer game.
I have been through it and although it made me a stronger person, I do wonder what I would be like if I hadn’t had to deal with all of this. I wonder if some of my struggles and issues are because of the years of war and I am not really sure what I can do with all of that.
Because life as a Military spouse is up and down…
Because life as a Military spouse is so much harder than anyone could ever predict…
So if you as a Military spouse need to cry and vent, if you need to go home for a while, if you need to see a counselor, if you just need a friend who gets it, I understand. I totally understand. I have been there.