When you first became a military spouse, you may have wondered how in the world you were going to one, figure everything out, and two, get through everything you would have to get through. You might look to other more seasoned military spouses and wondered what their journeys might have been like and if they can all relate to what you are going through.
The truth is, while we might all have our own military paths, we military spouses can relate to one another. We have been through hard things. We have had to figure out how to become more independent than we may have ever thought we would have to be. We had to get creative sometimes and figure out ways to make it through.
If you are a new military spouse, or maybe going through something new during military life that scares you, know that it’s okay Military Spouse, it’s really okay and I have been there.
I have waited months and months to see my husband because of paperwork.
I have given birth without my husband in the same country.
I have missed best friends getting married and having babies because of the Army.
I have had to say goodbye to my husband more than once not knowing if I would ever see him again and if I did if he would be the same person that I married.
I have had to watch as friends got that knock. The one that changed their lives forever.
I have had to watch friends as the husband they loved and adored become a completely different person because of PTSD and decided he no longer wanted to be with them or their children anymore.
I have said goodbye to friends that have become like family to me and know I might not ever see them again.
I have had to sit and wonder during a blackout knowing that my husband was probably okay but also not knowing why the blackout was going on.
I have sat with a group of wives while our children played and we tried to figure out how we would get through the next 3-4 months of a deployment that was supposed to have ended the month before.
I have been through the lonely nights, the jealousy of knowing our civilian friends have never had to go longer than a few days without their spouses, of being mom and dad to the kids, of comforting sad children that just want their Dad at a soccer game.
I have been through the situations that come with military life and although going through them made me a stronger person, I do wonder what I would be like if I hadn’t had to deal with all of this. I wonder if some of my struggles and what I personally have to work on are because of the years of war and I am not really sure what I can do with all of that.
Because life as a military spouse is up and down.
Because life as a military spouse is so much harder than anyone could ever predict.
Because life as a military spouse can be filled with so many twists and turns, ones that you might never have thought about before.
So if you are a military spouse feeling alone, like you are not the only one. You are not.
If you feel like your emotions are all over the place…know that so many of us have been through that too.
If you feel like you aren’t cut out for this life, know that so many of us have felt that too, wondering how all of it will play out.
If you feel like you are hanging on the edge, reach out for help, to other military spouses, organizations, or counselors.
As military spouses, we are asked to sacrifice so much, and that is never going to be easy. As military spouses, we might feel like we are never going to catch a break. As military spouses might feel defeated when we just want to feel strong.
But as a military spouse, something we don’t have to feel is alone.
We are a community, and we can work together to get through the hard stuff and celebrate the good stuff.
We are a community and can help one another out, either at our same duty station, or 1,000 miles away.
We are a community, and each of us loves the service member we decided to spend our lives with, even if it means that hardships will follow.
We take the good and the bad, and figure out how to make this life work.
It’s okay Military Spouse, it’s really okay and I have been there. And so have so many others that have come before. Remember this, and you will never have to walk the military spouse road alone.