Motherhood Isn’t What I Thought It Would Be

I was watching the movie, Mom’s Night Out and there was a scene that reall stuck with me. Ally, mother of three young children is excausted, tired and needing a big time Mommy break. This scene is after her young daughter colored on the wall. She stands there repainting the wall but stops when she sees her young daughter’s drawing of their family. It was a mom, dad and the three kids.

It was in this moment that Ally realizes she is living her dream. That she wanted to be a mom and now she is. That this life she has is what she has always dreamed of doing at her age.

It hit me hard because I can relate to so many of her feelings.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the kids, to feel as if nothing you do matters and to feel like you are going to have a complete meltdown if anyone asks you for one more thing.

To feel like your life is a mess, just a big mess and you have zero direction.

But being able to step back and look at things from another point of view can really help.

What if I was 36 and not yet a mom? What if I was still waiting to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I feel lucky that I met him when I was 22. That feels SO young to be now. But I met him then and I knew he was the one for me. As I get frustrated with life right now, and believe me there is a lot to get frustrated about, I have to remind myself that I am lucky and I have everything I ever wanted.

I have three kids who make me laugh and drive me crazy, all at the same time. Three little people that love me and depend on me for almost everything. Even more so when they were tiny babies and without me they woudn’t eat or get anything that they needed.

I have a husband who I love and who loves me and is never afraid to tell me that.

I have a house that we have made a home that felt like the perfect fit when we moved in. When you live somewhere a while, little things can start to bug you about it. They say this is a good thing because then you know what you want in your next house. I remember how it felt to walk into this house when we were looking. How it was the only one we both really liked and we could literally see our kids living in.

As much as I babysat as a teen, as much as I watched my own mother as a stay at home mom, I really had no idea what motherhood was going to be like. I had no idea how hard it would be sometimes or about some of the challanges we would have to face. I never realized how tired you can get or how you might just need to take some time to yourself to make it through the next day or the next week. I never knew what raising little people would really be like.

Motherhood isn’t what I thought it would be.

It some ways it is a lot harder and more frustrating. It has its moments and it has its very bad days. But at the same time, it can fill you will so much joy. It can fullful you in a way you never thought it could. It could change you in ways you never thought possible.

As I sit here on a July day, wondering if I am doing it right I am reminded that at the end of the day, most of us are doing it right. It might look different from household to household but by loving my children, by making the best choices that I know how to make, I am helping them grow into people and hopefully helping them learn how to make the world a much better place, one day at a time.