Yes, National Guard and Reserve Spouses are Military Spouses Too

I’m not sure where the idea came from that National Guard and Reserve spouses are not military spouses. This myth, it’s not a good one. Serving in the National Guard or Reserves is just a different way of serving in the military. As far as I am concerned, if your spouse puts on a uniform, you are in fact a military spouse.

It doesn’t matter the branch; it doesn’t matter the status, you are a military spouse.

While it is true that being married to an active duty soldier and a National Guard soldier are different, trust me I know, I have done both, there is still plenty the two have in common.

There are definitely pros and cons to each way of serving and some of them can sometimes be based on who you are as a spouse and as a military family member. Not everyone has the same exact experiences. While active duty life can be perfect for one family, national guard life can be perfect for another.

While we shouldn’t ignore the differences, especially ones that are harder for each side, we can come together on what we have common.

We all deal with deployments

One of the biggest myths about the National Guard and the Reserves is that they don’t deploy, but they do. They go to a lot of the same places active duty does and can be gone longer. And while they are gone, most of their spouses are not surrounded by military communities. Deployments happen, whether your spouse is active duty or not.

We all miss our spouse

All military spouses miss their husband or wife at some point in their military careers. While the length of time can be different, both active duty and national guard and reserve spouses will miss their spouse during their time as a military family. While it can be easy to look at the other side and assume they don’t have a right to miss their spouse like we do, we simply need to stop doing this. When your spouse is gone, you are allowed to miss them, no matter how long they are away for.

We all deal with the military craziness

Whether it is waiting on PCS orders, or waiting to find out of your spouse is, in fact, going to be deployed for the summer, all of us spouses are dealing with the craziness of military life. You have heard people say, “Well that’s the Army for you” or “That’s how it is in the Air Force” and it is true. There is a bit of crazy associated with dealing with the military, and that isn’t always fun.

If we have kids, we solo parent

Whether you are solo parenting through Basic Training and AIT, a deployment, Annual Training, or a school, you will be solo parenting at some point. Maybe you will be a solo parent for a weekend, maybe for nine months worth of weekends, but you do what you have to do. And you figure out ways to make solo parenting a little easier for yourself everytime they go away.

We all live a military life

At the end of the day, we are all living a version of a military life.

While some might live right on a military installation and others live five hours from the closest one, we are all living the military life.

While some see their spouse put on that uniform every morning, and others see it once a month, we are all living that military life.

While some move every three years, and others are still in their hometown, we are all living that military life.

So, if you ever question if someone is a military spouse or not, think about this, does their husband or wife put on a military uniform to serve their county? If so, yes, yes they are a military spouse. 

Last Updated on June 24, 2021 by Julie Provost