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Getting PCS Orders to a Place You Really Don’t Want to Go

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Getting PCS Orders to a Place You Really Don't Want to Go

Getting PCS Orders to a Place You Really Don’t Want to Go

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You are waiting on PCS orders, hoping for Hawaii or even Germany. If you can’t go OCONUS, you are pulling for Fort Carson, your best friend lives there and you have heard so many good things. Your spouse comes home with orders for Fort Bliss.

After 5 years overseas you just want to get stationed somewhere on the East Coast so you will be just a few hours from your family. You learn you will be PCSing to JBLM in Washington.

After spending 10 years in landlocked states you are hoping for a PCS to anywhere near an ocean. He gets orders to Fort Riley.

As any military spouse can tell you, there are certain places we want to go and certain places we don’t. Sure, most of us would love to PCS to some of the more popular military installation locations but that isn’t always what goes into where you want to go. Sometimes you just want to be close to home. Sometimes you just want to see another part of the world.

But what do you do when you get those long-awaited orders and they are for a place you don’t want to go?

The orders are for a place too far away from home or too different from what you expected. What if you get orders for a place you have heard nothing but bad things about? How can you get past that? How can you get excited for your new adventure when all you feel about it is dread?

Here are some ideas for when you get pcs orders to a place you don’t want to go:

Talk to people who like the area

I don’t care where you are going, you can always find at least one person that liked that duty station. Trust me. Some people are just able to bloom where the are stationed and others are able to find that one thing to make their current location enjoyable.

See if you can find people to talk to that live or have lived in that location. Most places have Facebook groups. I have duty station guest posts you can read. Ask for real-life advice on social media.

Investigate

Once you find out where you are going, you can start your PCS planning process. If you are not excited about where you are going, spend some time looking into your new home. Find out what is nearby, what people do for fun, what your housing choices are.

The more you can learn about your new duty station the better prepared you can be once you move there and you are setting up your new life. Check out PCSgrades for more information about housing areas and neighborhoods that you might want to live in.

Make plans

Make a plan for once you get to your new home. Where will you go to make friends? What will you do for fun?

If you can figure some of this out before you go, you will be more excited to get there. If you would like to find a job in your new location, get your resume ready and seek out what is available to you. You can also look into working from home if that is something you would like to do.

Visit home before you go

If you are going to be stationed far from home, why not plan a trip back home before you go? See if you can work that in. See the people you want to see and do all the things you know you will miss while you are stationed far away.

Homesickness is real but planning a big trip to see everyone can help. And know that just because you will be stationed far away doesn’t mean you won’t ever be able to visit during the years you are there. You might be able to plan a trip or take advantage of Space-A if you are overseas.

What about you? Did you ever end up in a place you didn’t think you would like? Do you have PCS orders to somewhere you are not sure you will like? Leave a comment 🙂

10 Gifts for the MilSpouse Book Lover

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I know many of you love to read like I do. There is nothing better than diving into a new book. So whether you have a gift card burning a hole in your pocket, or shopping for another milspouse friend or family member, here are 10 gifts for the MilSpouse Book Lover:

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Book of the Month Subscription

I have been subscribing to Book of the Month for almost five years now, and I love it. Book of the Month is a book subscription service where each month you get to chose a hardback book from five selections. One of the things I love about the Book of the Month subscription is that if you don’t like any of the books on a certain month, you can easily skip. If you like more than one, you can add up to two add-ons. And after 12-months as a subscriber, you become a BFF with special perks. I LOVE being able to pick out a new book once a month. You can sign up here, and if you love books as I do, you will be glad you did 🙂

Bookmarks

I LOVE cute bookmarks. There are so many amazing creators out there, making bookmarks based on anything. From favorite books to favorite phrases. Just head on over to Etsy and see what you can find. I have ordered some cute bookmarks from BOOGandBEAN and BookmarksAndBites.

Bookish Socks

I love cute socks! And there are some super cute socks for book lovers out there. These Lavley Nerd Socks are SO fun!!!

Military Spouse Fiction

Are you a fan of military spouse fiction? Here are some authors that write about military spouse fiction or military life fiction:

A Kindle Paperwhite

I LOVE my Paperwhite. If you are going to get a Kindle to read on, the Paperwhite is the best choice. You won’t feel like you are reading on a computer or phone, which is so nice. The newest version is waterproof and I use the light every night when reading in bed.

A Kindle Paperwhite case

If you are going to get a new Kindle, you need a pretty new case. And there are many to choose from. Most of them are pretty affordable too. Just make sure the case you are buying fits your model of Kindle. I just bought myself this pretty one.

100 Books Scratch Off Poster

This is such a neat idea! The 100 Books Scratch Off Poster- Top Reads of All Time Bucket List. Put it on your wall, and once you read the book, scratch it off.

A Bookish Tee

What’s better than a bookish tee? There are so many to choose from. I love this “My Weekend is All Booked T Shirt.” It pretty much describes my life.

A Reading Journal

Tracking what you read can be a fun way to remember your reading year. And they make some amazing reading journals. For example, this Bibliophile Reader’s Journal by Jane Mount, with beautiful illustrations.

The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and More by Noralee Jones and Julie Provost.

Mrs. Navy Mama and I wrote a book last year, all about military life. In the book you will find: 10 Chapters based on the most frequently asked questions from new MILSOs, handouts and worksheets to supplement chapters and bring solutions, a resources list with links and specific posts broken down by topics, guides for Acronyms, PCSing list, and more!

Purchase your copy here!

5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

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5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Season’s Greetings. We made it to the holidays, which feels a little weird. On one hand, the holidays are supposed to be magical, but it’s 2020, so…I guess we have to see how it plays out.

As much as I want things to instantly get better once the clock hits midnight on January 1st, I know, that things might not actually change all that much for us. I have hope that we won’t be dealing with another year of a pandemic, but I just don’t have any idea when our current situation will be over. Sigh. And that’s so hard to think about.

As military spouses, we know that military life doesn’t always have the best timing. There will be years when your spouse will be deployed over Christmas. There will be years when they are home. There will be years when you don’t even have a home as you are PCSing during the holidays, and there are years when you will be able to invite your family and celebrate in the way you want to.

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Add in a global pandemic, and things feel even more off. Still, I hope the holidays can bring you a little bit of joy. I hope that you can smile at least some of the time. Here are 5 memes for military spouses to help:

8 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

or California, or pretty much anywhere that refuses to have a White Christmas…TN I am looking at you 😉

Sometimes we have to take a deployment day by day, or even hour by hour. Deployments aren’t easy, but remember….you got this!

I have so been that girl, many times. And it isn’t the Christmas I wanted, but it was the Christmas I got. But at least I had my books.

YES!!! Put that under the tree please 🙂

I don’t know about you, but when I am going through something difficult, knowing I am not the only one going through it helps.

Whatever you do this holiday season, I hope you are able to make memories with your family, start new traditions, and connect together, even over the miles. As you look ahead to the new year, know that you can find ways to make it through anything that comes your way.

How are you celebrating the holidays this year?

For the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Who Can't Go Home For Christmas

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

When we first got married we decided that we would switch off each holiday. One year we would spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Then the next year we would switch.

This worked well for three years. Then we moved and my husband joined the Army and that schedule went out the window. Among other things that changed when we became a military family.

As a military spouse, you sometimes have to let go of what you thought your life would look like. And that includes how you spend your holidays. One year your spouse might be deployed, and the next you could be PCSing from one part of the country to another. Your plans have to be flexible.

This year, however, we don’t have to feel as alone. This year, during a pandemic, everyone is being told to stay put. Everyone is being told to not travel during the holidays. We aren’t the only ones having to change the way we do things during this time of year.

A little bit of the pressure you might normally feel has been lifted, at least for 2020. Maybe you were dreading the long drive back home, or maybe the cost of airline tickets was hurting your pocketbook.

There are many reasons why going home for Christmas can be hard for military families. But at least this year, staying in your own home is more normal. At least this year, it is a lot more understandable to the civilian world why you would not be traveling around the holidays.

During a normal year, you still might feel like you just want to stay in your own home. Your spouse may be deployed, and the idea of traveling across the country with three kids is just too much. You might have just moved into a new home, and want to set up there instead of leaving everything to spend the holidays in someone else’s home.

Not being able to go home for Christmas can be emotional, no matter the reason. And this year, even more so. But even if that is what you have planned to do, you can still feel a bit disappointed by it.

You might miss the way you always got together with relatives for Christmas Eve. You might miss the last-minute holiday shopping you would do with your sister, or how you would bake Christmas cookies with your grandma and cousins.

If you can’t go home for Christmas this year, know you are not alone. So many families are staying local, and not traveling. So many families are having to pivot and change the way they do the holidays.

The good news is, there are so many things you can do from your very own home. Start some new traditions and enjoy the time you have together. Make the holidays the way you want them to be, after all, you are in your own home, and you can do exactly that.

Are you overseas? Try to incorporate some of the traditions from the country you are in. You can then take them back with you when you move back to the US.

Embrace not having to travel during the busiest travel days of the year. Think about how your children will have memories of waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning. We have been doing this for years, and I LOVE that my kids will have memories of waking up in their own homes and coming downstairs to see the Christmas magic.

You can’t always go home for Christmas and that is okay. You can still have a special Christmas filled with happy memories and moments with your own family. And you might find that being in your own home is exactly where you want to be for the holiday season.

Do you usually go home for Christmas? What will you be doing this year?

The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

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The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

I do a lot of reflecting sometimes. I have always kept a journal and I like to think about where we have been as a couple and a family and where we are going.

We have had to make a lot of choices over the years. When to have kids. To move across the country. To join the Military. To buy a house. To stay in Tennessee. To join the National Guard.

Sometimes it is way too easy to look back and think we shouldn’t have made certain choices.  I don’t like to look at my life like that. Is it possible we made bad choices in the past? Yes. Does that mean the rest of our lives are messed up? No.

One of the biggest life-changing choices we made was for my husband to re-enlist in the Military at age 30. This was something that we talked about for months beforehand. We had no idea what his time in the military would be like once we made that decision.

We were diving into the unknown. While my husband had been in the Army before, that was when he was a lot younger, and way before I came into the picture. Being a soldier with a wife and child was going to be completely different for him, and becoming an Army wife was going to be totally different than anything I was used to.

As I think back over the last 15 years as a Military spouse, there have been many blessings in our marriage because of our time as a military couple.

Don’t get me wrong. Would I have preferred to have a husband who never had to go away? Perhaps, but that wasn’t how life has been for us.

As I look back over those 15 years, I can see that there are blessings in a Military marriage.

Homecomings can be the highlight of our Military experience. The feeling you get when you see your spouse again is hard to explain unless you have been through a homecoming. Knowing that the months of waiting and worrying has come to a close and knowing you will finally be back in each other’s arms can be the spark that your marriage needs.

Watching your spouse in their uniform can be inspiring. You know they are doing something good in the world and you are there to support them through it. You and your spouse are a part of history, working to make the world a better place. There is just something about feeling that way that can help your marriage thrive.

Deployments can help your relationship to grow even stronger. You start to appreciate one another in ways you never would have if they never had to go away. You constantly remember why you fell in love in the first place. You learn to trust one another across the miles.

But also, never be afraid to reach out for extra help if you don’t feel that way. Different couples handle distance in different ways. There are many resources out there to help too.

PCSing every few years can also be a challenge, especially if you have to PCS to a place you don’t want to go. But there is also something about moving together, having to work through those struggles together, having to be the “new person” together, that can bond you together in many different ways.

While the day to day of military life can feel so heavy sometimes, there are blessings of a military marriage. From growing stronger through the distance to being able to discover more about yourself which can lead to becoming a better partner.

If you are new to the military life and are worried a bit about your marriage, keep in mind that there are blessings of a Military marriage. As hard as the military lifestyle might be, they are there if you look for them.

How do you feel that the Military has blessed your marriage?

This is Your Military Life

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“I could re-join the Army,” he told me one day. We had been trying to figure out what he should do career-wise. What change he should make.

“Hmm…I don’t know about that,” I told him. “I’m not sure about that, we have a kid now.”

Back then, I couldn’t imagine a reality where I was home with my son and my husband was far away for months at a time. It just didn’t seem real. That type of life didn’t seem possible.

I laugh about that now. I think about all the solo parenting I have done over the years and what I thought was impossible, was very possible.

And that is one of the biggest things about military life. One of the biggest lessons you will learn. That you can do what you thought you couldn’t.

Maybe you will PCS overseas by yourself with a toddler, never having imagined that your first flight to Europe would look like that.

Maybe you will go through your first deployment in a brand new state, one you never thought you would ever visit, let alone live in, so many miles from home.

Maybe you will encounter the most difficult of days, and get through to the other side, wondering where you found the strength.

I strongly believe that through everything you go through as a military spouse, there will be a lesson there. Lessons you might not see right away. Lessons that might take some time to understand.

As hard as the deployments might be, you find ways to get through them. One day at a time.

You find your people, even if that takes longer than you would like. Even if that means having to say goodbye later on. You find people who will become your best friends, and you can go through this life together, even if you are miles away.

Even after 15 years, I still have my super frustrating days with the military. This summer, trips were canceled because of Guard duties. I kept trying to tell myself that this was all apart of this life, but doing that is easier said than done.

In between deployments, with no moves on the horizon, life can be pretty “normal” sometimes. You can get so used to military life just going along with your own life, without too many hiccups.

Your spouse gets home at a regular time, you enjoy the weekends together, and life just goes on. And then…orders come, or you hear rumors of deployments, and you are reminded that this is a military life. That you are a military family.

There is so much deployment advice out there. From staying busy to making friends, to trying not to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes all of that will work, and other times it won’t.

You might find yourself struggling more than everyone else. You might find yourself wondering how you can get through the next week of deployment, let alone the six months you have left. You can find yourself wishing for another type of life.

I get inspired by seasoned spouses. Those who have been doing this even longer than I have. They have so much wisdom for those of us in the weeds.

They have been there, pcsing with small children, back to back deployments, and always having to say goodbye to people they care about.

They have been there and can comfort and support when you are feeling down or unsure how the future will go.

Not everyone’s military journey looks the same. We all will go down different paths. But the military community is here for each other.

While not everyone you meet during this life will be supportive, I assure you most of us will be. We can lend a helping hand or a listening ear. We can tell you what worked for us, and what didn’t. And we can help each other through.

No matter how long you have been a military spouse, no matter how many deployments you have to go through or how many PCS moves you will make, remember, this is your military life.

This is the path you are on and you are stronger than you realize. You might not always feel that way, I certainly don’t, but time will show you that you are. The military life isn’t always easy, but it’s yours. Every step of the way.

Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

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Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

Even though some people’s orders have been delayed because of the pandemic, others are still moving or pcsing.

While it is a good thing military families can move on to the next step, it can be difficult when you are doing so during this time.

While you normally could be looking forward to getting to know your new community and for your kids to start at a new school to make friends, you feel like all of that might be on hold.

You want to get out and explore but how much can you really do right now? How can you figure out how to bloom where you are stationed if you can’t do what you normally do to get to know a new place?

Even if you aren’t new to your current duty station you may be feeling a bit restricted.

Your friend circle could have moved earlier this year and while you assumed you would get right back out there to make some new friends, COVID hit.

You may be awaiting orders to move somewhere new but they are delayed and you want to figure out how to enjoy the next six months at a place you are not too excited about.

Blooming where you are stationed doesn’t always come easy. Some places will be easier to love than others. But there is probably something good about anywhere you have to live, even if you have to hunt for it.

What can you do?

So what can you do? What is open and where do you feel comfortable exploring? This is going to differ for everyone and will depend on where you live.

Still…see what you can do. Use safety measures and make sure to follow the local regulations.

Accept the temporary setup

Okay I know it is hard but you might need to just accept things are not going to be the way you were hoping they would be. I know this is so hard because in some ways it feels like this is going to last forever.

Your kids might not be able to get out there and make new friends right away, but could they have a weekly Zoom call with friends they already know?

You won’t be able to introduce yourself to the moms in line at school pick up but can you say hi to a neighbor or talk over the fence on a regular basis?

You might not be able to attend all the fun events that normally go on in your community but you might be able to attend a social distancing event of some kind. Our local community still has a farmer’s market going on and there are other options to get out and explore part of the community.

Explore online

There is so much going on online these days. From virtual events to Bible Studies. From book clubs, to even concerts.

Check and see what your local communities might be doing and join an online event. This might feel different and weird but it could be a good way to learn about what is happening in your new community and you might even find ways to connect with others.

2020 is the worst but don’t let this year stop you from figuring out how to bloom where you are currently stationed. It might take some work but in the end, it will make life a little easier right now. And hopefully, 2021 will be an amazing year to see everything and explore the way you really want to.

Being Stationed at Eglin Air Force Base, Florida

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Happy to have this guest post by Sarah on being stationed at Eglin Air Force Base. Please visit my Duty station guest post page for blog posts on other locations or more information about how you can write a guest post about where you have been stationed.

So, you got orders to the beautiful Emerald Coast! The Florida Panhandle beaches are some of the most beautiful in the country. We were lucky to be stationed here for 5 years and had the very best time!

Okaloosa island pier. Look at that crystal-clear water!

Weather

The summer months are HOT around 85-95 degrees. Fall and spring are perfect around 60-70, and surprisingly it can get pretty cold in the winter months, so don’t donate your winter clothes just yet when you hear you’re pcsing to Florida! Winter temps can get down to 30-40 and we have even seen snow!  

Where to Live

There are many great options in the surrounding area, and something for everyone!  

The pin is where on base housing is located

On Base Housing – Newer houses have been built in the past few years. It’s a very convenient location, making for a quick drive to work, the beach on Okaloosa Island and Fort Walton Beach. The commissary and PX are a 10-minute drive. Be prepared, you will see bears in your backyard when living on base! And bugs, be prepared for all the bugs. 

Valparaiso – Also called Val-P. It’s a very small town and would be your quickest commute to Eglin.

Shalimar – Another quick 10-15 minute commute. This area has some nicer homes.

Niceville – About 20 minutes from base. Niceville is one of the most sought-after cities when living in this area, although you will be paying more for rent here.

Fort Walton Beach – This is a huge city and I’m sure there are some great areas to live, but definitely do your research if you’re thinking about living here. There is a high crime rate in FWB.

Destin – You will feel like you are on vacation when living here in Destin! It’s about 30-45 minutes to Eglin depending on traffic. In the summer months expect a lot of tourists!

Crestview – 45 minutes away from base but you can get much more house for your money if you choose to live up here away from the beach! *Note – I recommend living south of I-10 to avoid the terrible traffic during rush hour.

Things to Do

Destin is a tourist hot spot, which makes for a ton of fun family options! You have the beaches, boat rentals, dolphin cruises, and an endless list of fabulous waterfront restaurants. (My personal favorite is The Back Porch!) The HarborWalk has fireworks, live music, and parades all throughout the summer. 

Besides the touristy area of Destin, the Panhandle has plenty to do for families. There is the Gulf Breeze Zoo and Gulfarium. There are several different natural springs you can swim in, and many hiking trails and U-Pick farms up north in Baker or Jay. FWB is where to go for all of your shopping, and there are a lot of great playgrounds and splash pads for young kids.

This might not be a downside to you but for a Boston girl like me, one downside to the location is that Eglin is not near any major cities. I didn’t mind too much but I definitely felt a little secluded at times. We had to drive to Atlanta to catch a plane home if we didn’t want to spend $700 per round trip ticket out of VPS! Just something to think about if you’re used to the city life! 

Splash pad at Destin Commons

Road Trip Destinations  

One of my favorite things about new duty stations are all the fun places in driving range you are able to explore! Here are a few of our very favorite from Eglin.

Montgomery, Alabama – Drive through zoo

DISNEY WORLD!! – 6 Hours

Montgomery, AL – 3 Hours (Make sure to do the drive through safari zoo!)

New Orleans, LA  – 3.5 Hours

Tampa, FL – 6 Hours (Military families get to go to Busch Gardens for free once a year!)

Atlanta, GA – 5 Hours

Biloxi, MS – 2.5 Hours (Shrimp boat tours!)

Last Tidbits

Traffic – Heading up to Crestview all year round or down to Destin in the summer months during rush hour, you will hit major traffic.

7th Special Forces Group – If you are being stationed here for 7th Group, you will want to know that they work up near Crestview. Keep that in mind when choosing where to live!

Bippy’s By the Beach FWB – Our family’s secret ice cream spot. It will be your family’s favorite too.

Thank you so much Julie for letting me share my experiences about living at Eglin! If you’re heading this way, I hope you have the BEST time while stationed here. If you’ve already been stationed here, what was your favorite thing about Eglin?

Sarah is a work from home momma of two and one on the way. She is married to a green beret who just deployed 3 times in the past 3 years! Their next adventure is PCSing to 3 new states in 3 years! Head over to www.homeiswherethearmysendsus.com to see if she is currently just surviving or thriving during PCS life and to learn even more about Eglin Air Force Base.