Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Search Results for: children

Settling In at Ramstein: 5 Things Every Military Spouse Should Know

by Leave a Comment

Moving to Germany can feel exciting – and overwhelming – at the same time. Whether you’re here on a short TDY/TLA stay or in the middle of a PCS waiting for permanent housing, the first days set the tone for everything that follows. Many spouses arrive asking the same questions: Where do we stay? How do we get around? How do we meet people?

Here are five insights inspired by real experiences from families who’ve already settled into the KMC.

1. Finding a Place to Stay

Your first lodging in Germany shapes your entire transition. Most families begin in TLA/TDY-friendly accommodations before moving into their long-term home. The right setup can make those first weeks feel manageable instead of chaotic.

Popular areas with short commutes include Ramstein-Miesenbach, Landstuhl, Weilerbach, Mackenbach, and Kaiserslautern.

Look for essentials that simplify your daily routine: a full kitchen, laundry, and high-speed Wi-Fi — especially if you’re juggling kids, appointments, or paperwork. Make sure to ask whether utilities like electricity, water, and heating are included in the per diem or covered under your TLA allowance, since some off-base units list these costs separately. Knowing the full daily rate up front helps avoid unexpected expenses and ensures the documentation is accepted by Finance.

Working with a company that specializes in short-term TLA/TDY stays can make this part much easier. These providers are familiar with the standards for TLA reimbursement and typically include the essentials—furnished apartments, full kitchens, laundry, utilities, and reliable internet—so families don’t have to worry about surprises during in-processing. In the KMC, options like Stay Eden (https://stay-eden.com) offer fully equipped apartments and dependable English-speaking support. 

Pro tip: If there’s a chance housing might be delayed, choose a place where extending your stay is easy. It prevents the stress of moving multiple times. 

2. Getting Around

Many newcomers assume Ramstein station is the main hub because it shares the name of the base, but it’s actually Landstuhl that has the better connections — a surprise for almost everyone arriving for the first time. Still, many families choose to get a car, especially with children or during the winter. In the smaller towns and villages around Ramstein, having your own car makes daily life much easier, since buses run less frequently and flexibility matters during PCS and in-processing.

On the Autobahn, some stretches have no speed limit, while others use strict speed cameras. Just keep an eye on the signs — they really do matter here. 

Train connections are efficient:

  • Kaiserslautern → Mannheim: 40–50 minutes
    (Mannheim is a big regional hub with lots of train connections, so once you’re there, it’s easy to reach other major cities.)
  • Kaiserslautern → Frankfurt International Airport: 1–1.5 hours

Buses supplement the rail system and can take you to the bus stops just outside the base gates.

Insider tip: Download the DB Navigator app – it shows real-time routes, schedules, and delays. And if you’re driving, many locals use a “blitzer app” to stay aware of speed cameras. Keep in mind that using them while driving is not permitted.

3. Finding Your Community

The KMC is huge, but it’s still easy to feel isolated when you first get here. Building a network makes a world of difference.

Great places to start include:

  • Facebook groups like “Ramstein Spouses” and “KMC Connect”
  • USO events, fitness classes, and local German clubs
  • Playgroups such as KMC Parents Support Group, MOPS KMC, or local toddler meet-ups
  • Youth sports through Ramstein Youth Sports, CYS, or community soccer clubs
  • Casual coffee meet-ups hosted by the USO or groups like KMC Coffee & Friends


Honestly, many friendships start with nothing more than a simple, ‘Are you new here too?’

4. Understanding Cultural Differences

Germany isn’t complicated – it’s just different, and most of it clicks once you’re living here.

  • Cash matters. Most big stores accept credit cards, but many cafés and small shops prefer cash or German debit cards.
  • Sundays are quiet. Nearly everything is closed, and loud household chores are discouraged.
  • Small talk is limited. Germans may seem direct, but it’s not meant to be rude.
  • Recycling is serious. Expect colored bins and weekly schedules; ask your landlord how it works.
  • Store hours vary. Supermarkets usually close earlier than in the U.S., often by 8–9 p.m., and small shops in rural areas may close even earlier. Most places are completely closed by 10 p.m., so late-night grocery runs aren’t really an option. Many local bakeries are only open in the mornings, especially on weekends.

Many Germans speak good English, especially in the KMC area, even if they’re modest about it at first.

Insider tip: A simple smile or “Danke” often changes the whole tone. Germans just take a moment to warm up.

5. Don’t Forget Yourself — Self-Care During a PCS

A PCS isn’t only logistics—it’s emotional work. You’re adjusting to a new country while supporting everyone else. It’s normal to feel stretched thin.

What truly helps in the KMC:

  • When you have a free moment, planning a small day trip can help break the PCS fog.
    Burg Nanstein, Gelterswoog Lake, and Kaiserslautern’s old town are easy, low-effort options.
  • Try something new together.
    A Saturday-morning bakery run, grabbing a real Brezel, a Christmas market in winter, or a summer wine fest with a cold “Schorle” can bring instant joy and help shift your focus from stress to curiosity.
  • Build gentle routines.
    A daily walk, a coffee ritual, journaling, or a favorite bakery stop can anchor your day when everything feels unfamiliar.
  • Give yourself permission to slow down.
    Jet lag, paperwork, and housing stress drain your energy. It’s okay to take things one step at a time.
  • Use local wellness options.
    Spas and saunas are a big part of German culture—quiet, affordable, and surprisingly restorative.

Insider tip: Even a quick visit to Monte Mare Kaiserslautern — with its warm pools, saunas, and quiet relaxation rooms — can feel like hitting a mental reset on PCS stress. If you prefer something closer to base, Cubo Sauna & Wellnessmassage in Landstuhl is a calm, cozy alternative. 

Conclusion

Life in the KMC becomes easier much faster than most newcomers expect. Choosing the right lodging — with the space, comfort, and essentials you need — makes those first weeks feel steadier and gives you an anchor while everything else is still new. With a car or the DB Navigator app, a solid understanding of lodging options, realistic expectations for TLA, and a few cultural insights, Ramstein quickly starts to feel familiar. Patience and a bit of local know-how make the transition not only manageable but genuinely rewarding. Germany offers small-town comfort, a strong community, and easy access to Europe — all from one of the busiest U.S. military hubs overseas.


About the Author
Laura Gerdes is a local housing expert in the KMC and supports military families in finding comfortable off-base lodging near Ramstein Air Base. Having lived in the community herself, she shares practical insights with newcomers and hosts one of the most active local Facebook groups linking landlords with U.S. renters: ‘KMC Rentals’ (https://www.facebook.com/groups/kmcrentals)

Settling In at Ramstein: 5 Things Every Military Spouse Should Know

Twas the Night Before Christmas For the Military Spouse

by

Twas the Night Before Christmas For the Military Spouse

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, no one was stirring, except one military spouse.

She knew what tonight was but wasn’t feeling the cheer; her husband of 12 years was simply not here.

He was serving his country on deployment #4; she simply couldn’t wait until April, when he would walk through the door.

Her kids were in bed, excited for the morning; they didn’t want to go despite her stern warning.

She looked at a picture taken last year when he was home beside her, and she didn’t have much to fear.

But this year was different, and he was far away, but she still wanted to try to have a wonderful Christmas day.

She put on some music, and finished her last chore, she loved her sweet family, down to the core.

Christmas was special and a time to love, and she would get through this deployment, with help from above.

Her husband was deployed, and that made her sad, but thinking of her children Christmas morning made her heart very glad.

She turned out the light and headed to bed, loving the lights of the tree, both green and red.

As hard as it was, she found her inner strength; she could handle this deployment, no matter the length.

Solo parenting was hard, and she hated missing him, but she knew in the end, it wasn’t so grim.

She had her friends and her children by her side and would take this deployment day by day, even if she sometimes cried.

Because one day in April, would be homecoming day, and she would load up her children in her van, not a sleigh.

And they would head to the gym, where they would need to wait, with the other spouses and children on this very important date.

As a military spouse, we can spend Christmas alone, but we do what we can to warm up our home.

She would spot him right away, standing in the crowd, and when it was time they would run to him proud.

So if you are a military spouse, with your love far away, I want you to know you will get through Christmas Day.

It might not be exactly like before, but Christmas has magic you just can’t ignore.

Merry Christmas to all and know that it’s true, you got this military spouse, you absolutely do.

The Military Spouse, On Homecoming Day

by

The Military Spouse, On Homecoming Day

I’d been waiting, waiting so long. Waiting for this deployment to end. Waiting for homecoming. Waiting for the last few hours to see his face.

I stand in the cold, with the children by my side. It’s cold but we don’t care. We will be seeing him soon.

We stand outside, me and all the other spouses. We stand and wait, just a little bit longer, just a little more time.

And then we see it, just a dot at first, and then a plane. It’s their plane. It has to be.

And as the plane gets closer, the butterflies get more active and this all starts to feel so real. So very real.

And there it comes, landing right in front of us. Landing with our men on board. Landing, meaning the end to another deployment.

And while it is still cold, we can no longer feel it. We feel at peace. His planned has landed, the last step, the last part of his trip. The last part of the deployment.

And after all the waiting. The lonely nights. Of getting through each day.

And slowly, the door starts to open and we see the first part of a uniform. We see one man and two and then three. And then they start moving. Soldier after soldier.

And we all look for our own. Our soldier. We want to spot them as soon as we can. As soon as we see them, our hearts will warm. As soon as we see them, it will be real.

So we wait and watch as families start to recognize each other. And we know right now it is just time to see them, not to run to them. That will have to wait. But seeing them right now, it’s all that really matters.

And so we do, we see him, my husband, their father. We see him walking off the plane in his uniform. One he has had to wear day after day as he does his job, the one he was trained for.

And he walks by and we all see him and our hearts warm. It’s really over. It really is. Homecoming is here.

And the men go inside, and we go inside but we still have to wait a little bit longer. We still need to stay in order. We still need to wait.

But this waiting is a good waiting. It is the type of waiting where you KNOW the next step. You don’t have to wonder. You know what will happen and it is just a matter of time.

And so you go back inside and you wait. Just a little bit longer. Just a little more time. And then the men start to march inside the hanger.

And you look around and everyone is so very happy. The happiest they have been. The day they have been waiting for.

Then, someone is talking but you have no idea what they said. All you hear is the call for the soldiers to go to their families and your heart bursts. You are standing with your children and then you run, you all run, right into his arms.

Because he is back and the deployment is over. The deployment that was so very hard to get through. The deployment that broke you.

And yet now that part of everything is over. He no longer has to be so far away. He is with you. And as you release from him you are aware of everyone else. You see someone down on one knee out of the corner of your eye, you see a dad meeting his newborn for the first time, you see a mom, hugging her son, who was not only deployed but so far away for the very first time.

And you relax, and you breathe. The first time in months. You hold his hand and take photos and try to relax, because it is over. The deployment is over.

And you did it. You made it. The countdown that was started such a long time ago is now over. And you made it.

While you are not totally sure how this whole reintegration process will go. While you are not sure how life will go back to normal. You are thankful they are home, and back with you, and that you can walk the road again together. Instead of being so many miles apart.

When the Holidays Don’t Feel Like the Holidays

by

When the Holidays Don't Feel Like the Holidays

The holidays are here! You want to be excited, you want to go all-in, but…what do you do when your spouse is deployed? When they are off to some other part of the world too many miles from where you are? What do you do when you just don’t feel like doing Christmas? When you just don’t feel like setting anything up? When you just want the holidays to be over so you will be closer to homecoming and seeing your spouse again?

When your spouse is deployed during this time of year, the holidays don’t always feel like the holidays. You might want to skip them altogether, or just wish away time to the new year when the holidays are over. You might not be feeling like you even have much to celebrate. But you do.

I think most military spouses will go through this at one time or another.

Here are some ideas to help if you are feeling like the holidays and not the holidays this year:

Don’t pressure yourself 

One of the biggest issues with social media is comparing yourself to other families. And this seems to get worse during the holidays. The thing is, you don’t have to do things the way others do.

Is there something that overwhelms you at the thought of having to do it? Don’t. Or maybe there is something you normally do with help from your spouse, and you simply don’t have the energy to do so this year. That’s okay too.

Find what works for your family and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Take the pressure off yourself. Your holiday season will be much easier that way.

Add a new tradition

Why not try a new tradition this year? Something for you and your kids to get excited about. Are you stationed overseas? If so, why not adopt a tradition of the country you are stationed in? Adding something new can be just what you need to get excited about this holiday season, even if your spouse is deployed.

Plan for celebrating later

If your spouse is coming home early in the new year, you could always save the celebrating for then. If you have very small children or no children, this can work well. Older, school-age children might have trouble with this so you could have a small celebration with plans for a bigger one later. As military families, we have to be flexible and this is one way to do so during a deployment.

Fake it until you make it

Sometimes you simply have to fake it until you make it. Make a list of all the holiday things you normally do and try to work on a few a day, even if you don’t feel like it. Getting started with getting ready for the holidays can help you get in the mood. Involve your kids because you know they are going to be excited about the holidays no matter what.

Put on a Christmas movie, light a holiday candle, or take the kids to see Santa. Do something that can really put you in the holiday mood. This can help you get there, even if you are not sure if it will work.

What have you done to help during the holidays when you don’t feel like celebrating because they are deployed?

Making Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean Away

by

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

He had left in November of that year for his 2nd deployment. That meant he was going to miss Christmas. We were also not going to be going home as we were in Germany and the idea of traveling with a 2-year-old and 4-year-old over the holidays was a little too much. Plus, my parents were coming to visit around my birthday in January.

As I looked ahead to Christmas day I couldn’t help but be sad about my husband missing the holiday. Our boys were still so young. These holidays are important. They are what we will look back to years in the future, the Santa years when everyone was young enough to believe and the toys were rather simple.

But there was nothing I could do. My husband would be in Iraq that Christmas and we would be home in Germany without him. The good thing was I was not alone. Quite a few other spouses were going through the same thing, being without their spouse for Christmas. This included one of my best friends, who also had small children.

We decided that being by ourselves this Christmas wasn’t going to work well for us. We also knew that we needed to plan something to help us get through the day. We made plans. We would spend Christmas morning with our own children, watch them open their gifts, and then meet up to make Christmas dinner together while our kids played.

This was one of the best things we could have done. Were we still sad and missing our husbands? Yes, but we had something else to focus on and so did our kids. That Christmas didn’t turn out to be too horrible after all and all it took was a little planning to make the holiday special.

The key to getting through the holiday season without your spouse by your side is to make the holiday special anyway. Do what you can to bring in the holiday joy, even if you don’t feel like doing so. Here are some great ideas on how to make your holidays special, even when your heart is an ocean away:

Plan Your Special Days

If you celebrate Christmas, plan that day out. What will it look like? Where will you eat? How will you spend that time? Find whatever will work for you and your family. Just plan something. Even if your plan includes taking the kids to a park and picking up fast food on the way home.

What will Hanukkah look like this year? What about New Years? Start planning now to figure out how those days can still be special for you and your children.

Save Presents

Save a few presents to open when mom or dad is back home, even if that will be June. You can have a mini-Christmas later. You don’t even have to let your kids know there are more presents. You can save presents for your deployed spouse as well. Make a fun day of your mini-Christmas after the deployment is over.

Take pictures

Your spouse might miss Christmas but they can still see what you did that day. Take photos of everything you do. Make an album and send that in your next care package or save it for when they get home. Your spouse will want to know how you spent the day.

Decorate

Decorate your house anyway, even if doing so seems hard. Sometimes people just don’t have the desire to do so but try to make yourself decorate anyway. You will be glad you did.

Life can’t stop just because they are deployed. Life has to keep moving, that includes decorating for the season. You can always put your tree up early if they are deploying right before the holidays. Sometimes we military families do things on a slightly different schedule than everyone else. You can also leave the holiday decor up longer than usual so your spouse can see everything when he gets home.

Video Chat With Family and Friends

I know we are probably all sick of Zoom but the holidays can be a good time to video chat with friends and family. Some families enjoy having the video chat on while opening gifts or even having a meal together.

Being able to reach out to others like this can be a good way to combat loneliness. Our family loves using the Facebook Portal and while talking on that is not the same as being together in person, it feels good to connect in that way.

https://amzn.to/3kZ9CbN

What have you done in the past to make the holidays special even when your spouse has been away? What advice would you give to new spouses going through their first holiday season alone?

To the Veterans

by

To the Veterans

To the veterans who served before our time…in wars, we can only imagine having gone through.

To the veterans who served while life was changing back at home…when they were not even sure what the future would bring.

To the veterans who served even when that meant leaving their loved ones for way too long…unsure of when they would be returning back home.

To the veterans who served when serving wasn’t the popular thing to do…putting on the uniform isn’t easy.

To the veterans who first left for Iraq and Afghanistan, before we even really knew what was going on…and going back time and time again.

To the veterans who joined after 9/11, even though they knew how much the world had changed on that day…and how things would never be the same.

To the veterans who served because their parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents did…and they knew joining the military would always be a part of their future.

To the veterans who are the first in their families to put on a uniform…and they truly are not totally sure what that will mean.

To the veterans who served as the first women in the military, paving the way for future generations…so that today, women in uniform are a regular part of military life.

To the veterans who served, even when serving seemed too hard…some roads to the military can be more complicated than others.

To the veterans who came back home…and will always remember those who didn’t.

To the veterans that get up every day to go to work, not sure if anyone they will see today can truly understand what they have gone through…and hoping that they can find the support they need.

To the veterans who keep serving, even in the smallest of ways…to help future generations.

To the veterans who never thought they would make it home…and to those who did but will never feel the same again.

To the veterans with all the stories, hoping that younger generations can truly understand the sacrifices that were made…and all the stories about the friendships made during our countries battles.

We can never thank any of you enough for what you have gone through and what you have done for our country. One day a year simply isn’t enough. We can learn so much from your years and your wisdom, and America would not be America without you.

Who are the veterans in your life???

5 Important Conversations Military Couples Should Have During Military Life

by 1 Comment

5 Important Conversations Military Couples Should Have During Military Life

It’s not always easy to sit down and have a conversation with your service member. But as a military couple, it is super important to have conversations about different aspects of your lives, from kids and your home to both of your careers. And as you know, the military has a prominent place in a military couple’s relationship.

The military dictates so much about our lives, from when our spouse will live in the home to where that home will actually be. It can be stressful, especially if you aren’t sure you are on the same page.

That is why communication is so important. And there are certain conversations that military couples should be having. Here are 5 of them:

The Deployment Talk — Before It Happens

So they are deploying. They have the orders. And you are preparing. Sit down together and talk about expectations while you are apart.

Talk about how you will communicate, how bills will be handled, and different things for the children. Things can change quickly during a deployment, but going in with clear communication will go a long way in preparing you for what is to come.

The PCS & Home Base Talk

Some military families do have some say in a duty station. Some don’t. But it is always helpful to know what you want if you get the opportunity to make a choice. Do you want to go to Hawaii? What would it mean to be stationed overseas? Does being stationed an hour from home make sense?

And then the PCS itself. What will the move look like? What will each spouse do? What will need to be done to prepare the kids? There is certainly a lot to talk about before a PCS.

The Money & Future Talk

When two spouses talk about money, things can get really stressful, especially if you are coming at it from different points of view. But it’s important to talk about.

What will you do with any extra deployment money? What does your current budget look like vs a deployment one? How much will you spend on an after-deployment vacation?

The “What If” Talk

This is the hard stuff. The stuff civilian couples might not be talking about as much in their 20s and 30s. But it’s super important.

Do you have updated wills? What about POAs? What will happen if the service member gets injured, or even worse? Where will you go if the worst does happen? These conversations are worth having for both spouses.

The “Who Are We Outside the Military?” Talk

Sometimes it can be way too easy to lose sight of goals outside the military. But they are essential, especially for the military spouse.

It’s a great idea to talk to one another about what you want to do in the future, whether it is pursuing a specific career path, having children, or living in certain places. Your goals matter too. And you want to be able to express them to your spouse.

At the end of the day, everyone’s marriages are different. There are things you need to talk with your spouse about that your friend might not need to. The important thing is to be open with them, keep the lines of communication open, and never stop sharing your life with one another, even across the miles.

5 Important Conversations Military Couples Should Have During Military Life

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

by

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

Your spouse just deployed. What now? What are you supposed to do? Here are 12 things you must do as soon as your spouse deploys.

1. Have a good cry

If you feel like you need to cry, do so. Put on a Disney video for your kids, go into your room, and let it all out. Then pick yourself back up, and plan for the rest of your deployment. For a lot of people, crying is a way to get all the sadness out. And having a good cry can get you in a better place so don’t be afraid to do so.

2. Call your mom

Call your mom. She can be there for you. You can also call your mother-in-law, your sister, or anyone you know that will lend a listening ear. The start of a deployment can be pretty shocking. You have to get used to your new normal, and that will take some time. Reach out to someone and let them know what is going on.

Surviving deployment

3. List your support system

Make a list of your support system. This sounds silly but having a list of who you can count on when your spouse is deployed is a good idea. List people you can call to get together with, those who you can call if you need help with childcare, or those you simply want to be around. The sad truth is not everyone is going to be supportive so spend your time with those who will be, whether they are civilians or other military spouses.

4. Buy some ice cream

Go ahead and buy some ice cream. Ben and Jerry’s works. Keep some in your freezer for those nights when deployment gets a little too difficult. Don’t like ice cream? Buy some brownies or cookie mix or anything you like to have on hand during the more difficult periods of military life.

5. Fill up your calendar

Get a calendar; any will do. I prefer paper calendars, but others like to keep everything online. Whatever you use, fill up your calendar. Make plans. Look for local events, add those too. Make plans with friends. Stay busy. One of the best ways to get through this deployment is to stay busy. You are going to need to fill up that calendar to do so.

Fill up your calendar

6. Buy a journal

Writing in a journal during a deployment is a good way to have a space to get your feelings out. The best thing about it is that no one else has to see what you write. You can write out how angry you are that your husband had to deploy again or how your wife is going to miss your son’s 2nd birthday. There are so many pretty journals out there too, take a look.  (affiliate link)

7. Get some wine or Dr. Pepper, whatever works

Get some wine or Dr. Pepper or whatever your drink of choice is. You know not to go crazy with the stuff but having a glass after the kids go to bed can be very relaxing.

8. Book a trip

Plan a trip back home. Plan a vacation to visit a friend or to take your kids to Disneyland. Make these plans so that you have something to look forward to and can have fun even when your spouse is deployed. While it can be hard to travel when you have babies and smaller children, see what you can do. If you have a friend, you can travel together and help each other out with the kids as well as making make memories together.

surviving deployment

9. Plan regular get-togethers

Plan some regular get-togethers with friends. Have book club at your house every Friday night, plan to have a weekly or monthly dinner with some of your friends with deployed spouses, or plan to meet at the park every Monday to get the kids out of the house and to have some coffee with your friends. Having these regular get-togethers can make the deployment go by so much faster.

10. Buy some stationary

You are going to want to write your spouse when they get an address. Go pick out some cute stationery to send to them.  Here are some stationary ideas! (affiliate link) Love letters during a deployment are the best!

11. Go to the post office

Get yourself to the post office or order supplies online. You will want to send care packages. Some get into this and send packages with the most creative of themes. Others send packages as their spouse needs things such as baby wipes or their favorite candy.

12. Read deployment posts

There are quite a few milspouse bloggers that write about deployments. You can learn a lot from these posts as each blogger brings their own experiences about deployment to their writing. They can give you an idea of how to get through your own deployment. Here are my deployment posts for you to read.

What do you do as soon as your spouse deploys?