40 Quick Tips for a Better Military Spouse Life

I can’t believe I have been a military spouse for almost 17 years now. I remember being so overwhelmed by everything at first. I had so many questions and didn’t know what we were getting into. Over the years I have learned so much, from the best way to make friends to how to get through those long deployment days.

Are you new to military life? Maybe you just want to get some advice to get you through a difficult time. Here are 40 quick tips for a better military spouse life.

1. Timelines will always change. Whether it is how long it will take to join your spouse in an OCONUS PCS to when they will get home from a deployment.
2. Make friends. You will need them, you will. They will make military life a lot easier.
3. Say yes to overseas, even if you are afraid to do so. The experience will be worth it.
4. Try living on post or base at least once. Doing so is an experience.
5. Don’t forget OPSEC. Don’t overshare on social media. Be smart about what you are putting out there.
6. PCS your way. Do you need a fancy PCS binder? Maybe. Are you okay if you don’t have one? Maybe. Find what works for you.
7. Don’t be turned off by “bad” duty stations. Sometimes that is where you will have the best experiences. You never know.
8. Join the groups. Find a book club. Try MOPS. You never know when you might find your new best friend.
9. Write love letters. They might be old-fashioned but they can be a greay way to communicate during a deployment.
10. Journal. Get your words out. Tell your journal how mad you are at the military. It will make you feel better.
11. Get mad at the military. It’s okay. You don’t always have to love everything the military does.
12. Focus on you. Don’t give up your dreams.
13. Get off your military instillation. Explore. Make civilian friends. Learn about your new area.
14. Listen to Seasoned Spouses. They have good advice and they have been there.
15. Help out newbie military spouses. You have a lot to offer, even if you have only been a military spouse for a short time yourself.
16. Remember you can do this. Whatever it is. Take it one day at a time.
17. Create boundrries for yourself. With friends. With your job. With family.
18. Make time for yourself. Me time is always important. Look for ways to find that me time, no matter how busy your life might be.
19. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Doing so will bring you amazing things.
20. You don’t have to send fancy care packages if you don’t want to. That might not be your jam. That’s okay.
21. Share your story. Start a blog. Share on Instagram. When we share our stories, whatever they might be, we can truly help one another not feel so alone.
22. Don’t sweat the small stuff, especially during a deployment. You might have to let a lot of things go. But that will bring you more peace.
23. Each of your kids might handle the stress of military life in a different way. Some might need a little more help than others.
24. Sometimes things will happen that won’t make any sense. Learn that this is just a part of military life. Sometimes you won’t be able to explain the randomness of it all.
25. Don’t let rank get in the way of a friendship. Rules about rank are for service members, not spouses. That being said, be aware of what would bother your spouse or put them in an uncomfortable situation.
26. Celebrate your military spouse wins. Get excited when you hit 100 days of deployment. Get excited when you cross things off your PCS to-do list.
27. Talk with your spouse about PERSEC. Find out what they are okay with you sharing and what they are not. Some service members do not want to be on social media, and others are totally okay with it.
28. Be wary of scams. Are you dating a service member? Awesome! Are they asking for you to send them money even thoguh you have never met in person? Be wary. People do try to scam others by pretending to be a service member.
29. Learn about military discounts. Many amusement parks have them. A lot of resturants do too. Don’t be afraid to ask about them when you are out shopping. Just be respectful if the answer is no or if they are only for the service member.
30. Share your life with your civilian friends. They are curious and might only know about military life from TV or movies.
31. Be yourself. Not all military spouses are the same. We come from different places and backgrounds. Find your milspouse people.
32. Know if you are struggling in this life, reaching out for extra help is okay. Doing so might be just what you need to get through your current challenge.
33. Go to college, find a job, and pursue your own dreams as much as you can. Follow your passions, even during military life, whatever they might be.
34. During a deployment, make a list of all the things you want to accomplish or learn. Work on home projects, write a book, learn a new skill, and figure out ways to stay busy that can help you grow as a person.
35. Visit home, especially when you need a break from your duty station. But when you do, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not visiting them or spending your vacation the way you need to as a family.
36. Take pictures. Make photo albums. Write down your memories. You will be glad you did.
37. Learn from one another. Listen to how others make deployments a little easier or hacks they have about pcsing. You don’t have to do everything they do, but putting more tools in your military spouse toolbox will be a good idea.
38. Feeling lonely? Find activities and events in your local area to get out and meet new people. Don’t give up if you don’t meet anyone right away. Keep trying.
39. Grow through your expeirences, even the bad ones. There is always something new to learn.
40. Enjoy this life as much as you can, but know that often times military life is a roller coaster. You will have some amazing moments, and some pretty difficult ones. There will be different seasons of your military life.