In November, I will hit 15 years of being a military spouse. 15 years! That seems so hard to believe sometimes, other times…it feels like I have been living this life so much longer.
Some years are easier than others. Some years have more separations than others. Some years just feel so much more difficult than others.
But there have also been so many good memories over the years. I have met so many amazing people. I am thankful for all that I have been able to experience from this life.
Often times it can feel like military life is dragging us down. That we would be so much better off if our spouse found another career. That we shouldn’t even be in this position or that we are not strong enough to make it through.
But I think one of the things that helps through all of this is knowing that you are not going through any of this alone. That there are other military spouses who have been through it all too. And that we can all learn from one another.
It’s okay Military Spouse, it’s really okay and I have been there.
I have waited months and months to see my husband because of paperwork.
I have given birth without my husband in the same country.
I have missed best friends getting married and having babies because of the Army.
I have had to say goodbye to my husband more than once not knowing if I would ever see him again and if I did if he would be the same person I married.
I have had to watch as friends got that knock. The one that changed their lives forever.
I have had to watch friends as the husband they loved and adored become a completely different person because of PTSD and decided he no longer wanted to be with them or their children anymore.
I have said goodbye to friends that have become like family to me and know I might not ever see them again.
I have had to sit and wonder during a blackout knowing that my husband was probably okay but also not knowing why the blackout was going on.
I have sat with a group of wives while our children played and we tried to figure out how we would get through the next 3-4 months of a deployment that was supposed to have ended the month before.
I have been through the lonely nights, the jealousy of knowing our civilian friends have never had to go longer than a few days without their spouses, of being mom and dad to the children, of comforting sad kids that just want their Dad at a soccer game.
I have had to tell my children that our vacation was canceled because their dad got called up to go somewhere for a few weeks instead.
I have been through it and although it made me a stronger person, I do wonder what I would be like if I hadn’t had to deal with all of this. I wonder if some of my struggles and issues are because of the years of war and I am not really sure what I can do with all of that.
Because life as a military spouse is up and down…
Because life as a military spouse is so much harder than anyone could ever predict…
Because life as a military spouse can be so full of surprises, and some of those can knock you off your feet.
So if you as a Military spouse need to cry and vent, if you need to go home for a while, if you need to see a counselor, if you just need a friend who gets it, I understand. I totally understand. I have been there.
We have each other to lean on, we have each other to learn from. We have each other to vent with, and we have each other to get through this life with.
And although some days are harder than others, the truth is, we all fell in love with someone who wants to serve their country. And deep down we know that this is where we are supposed to be.
How long have you been a military spouse?
Last Updated on June 24, 2021 by Julie Provost
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