• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

  • Home
    • My Disclosure Policy
    • My Privacy Policy
    • Contact Me
  • Advertise
  • The SWCL Shop
  • Duty Stations
  • My Writings
  • Military Life
    • Movies & TV
    • Disneyland
    • Books
  • So Your Spouse Just Deployed??? Click Here!!!
  • Fort Campbell
You are here: Home / Military Life / Staring The Big Fat Deployment Mountain In the Face

Staring The Big Fat Deployment Mountain In the Face

May 23, 2013 by Julie 4 Comments

Staring  The  Big Fat Deployment Mountain  In the Face

When deployment is staring you in the face, you can’t help but think of the time your husband is going to be away. I am already thinking about my kids and how much they will change. When my husband gets back my oldest will be working his way to 10-years-old. Wow! That is a weird thought. My now 6-year-old will be 7 and in the middle of his 1st grade year. My now 2.5 year old will be getting close to 3.5 and will be a completely different child.

When thinking of the upcoming deployment I am also thinking about how the kids will react. I am sad for my oldest. He is going to take it the hardest. He will also remember this time period. My middle son, I just don’t know. My 2.5 year old is going to have a hard time but being that he is so young I don’t think it will really affect him long-term. At least I hope not. You never really know about the little ones. The ones that can’t fully tell you how they are feeling about it.

We have been through deployments before but this one feels different. It will be different because all deployments are different. This is also the deployment that wasn’t supposed to happen for us but with the Army being the Army that changed. I am still trying to get over that but it is hard.

I have been thinking about the time that he will be away and how all of us will change. When he gets back our kids will be different. I will be different. We will not be doing the same things we are doing right now. There will never be another time like right now for our family. Where my 8, 6 and 2-year-old are getting ready to enjoy the summer. Where I am working hard to further my own career from home. Where I sit at the base of a deployment shaped hill and wonder how on earth I am going to get to the other side.

IMG_5193

Maybe he just needs to leave. I know that statement is hard for people who have not gone through a deployment to understand. When you know they have to deploy, when there is nothing you can do to change that, you have to let it go and when you get to that point you are just ready for it to start. You want to start counting down.

When my husband went to JRTC earlier this year I had quite a few, “Oh my! How can I make it through a whole deployment if this is so hard” moments.  But then I started to think about it a little bit. Once the deployment starts and I have moments like that…the deployment will have an expiration date. It might change a few times but I will have a general idea about when it will be over. I will know it won’t last forever. Maybe that will make it a little easier than just having him away for pre-deployment training thinking about future fears.

On December 31, 2006 I stood on the balcony of my German stairwell apartment watching the fireworks with my husband. It was New Year’s Eve and I was not excited about 2007. I knew it was going to be a hard year. I had no idea how hard. My husband was home on R&R. I thought he would be gone for another five months and it ended up being 11. That is a little bit about how I feel right now. That I have something ahead of me that doesn’t look too good. Lonely nights, lonely days, missing him, missing all the little things our family does together that we won’t be able to do for a time. It isn’t fun. But it is what it is.

I know that time will pass and we will get through this deployment. I will be writing a homecoming post sometime in the future. I will get through it somehow. I know it will change me. I am not sure how.

All I can do is pray and find ways to stay busy. I am not looking at this deployment as a way to become a better person. Right now all I can do is figure out ways to survive it. Maybe that will change. Maybe one day I will wake up one morning in a few months and realize that this deployment can be more than that for me.

But for now…I am in survival mode. I just need to get through this. I just need the time to pass so our family can be whole again.

Are you also Staring The Big Fat Deployment Mountain In the Face?

Want a Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

Last Updated on December 17, 2020 by Writer

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Print

Filed Under: Deployment, Military Children, Military Life Tagged With: Deployment, surviving deployment

About Julie

Owner of Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life. Writer, reader, coffee drinker. Mom to three boys, wife of a National Guard soldier. Living life in Tennessee.

Previous Post: « Thank You From Outback Steakhouse
Next Post: Stories in Uniform A Look at the Heroics, Laughs, Sorrows, and Tragedies of Our Soldiers Review And Giveaway »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Rachel @ MyWholesomeHome

    May 23, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    I know exactly how you feel. I don’t have all the time you have to think about it though. My hubby got short notice orders and leaves in about a week-we found out 4 days ago. It’s going to be hard.

    Reply
  2. Jenn

    May 23, 2013 at 8:35 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear that it’s happening, Julie. 🙁 Let me know if you need anything!

    Reply
  3. Amber

    May 23, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    It’s tough. My husband left about 2 months ago. We still have awhile to go. I try to keep busy but I still have hard days when I wish he were with me.

    If you ever need a friend, I’m on Facebook as Amber Myers!

    Reply
  4. Malori

    May 24, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    I am staring the Big Fat Deployment Mountain in the face right now, too. The Warrior just got done with JRTC and I am eagerly awaiting his arrival in town to visit for the Memorial Day weekend! 🙂 However, the deployment is creeping up on us kinda quickly…because of our schedules, this is the second to last weekend to spend together before he leaves….and that last weekend will be mostly spent helping him pack and move out of his place….a few days later he’s leaving (which of course I will be there to see him off…but by that time his mind will probably be already deployed). Reality hasn’t really hit me YET, though…maybe because I haven’t seen him in a month and I’m kinda “used to” not seeing him. I totally get your statement “Maybe he just needs to leave”!!

    Hang in there, we’ll be going through deployment together! 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Primary Sidebar

Top Posts!!!

  • You Will Never Know, Unless You Are a Military Spouse
  • 14 Tips to Help You Survive Basic Training When Your Spouse Joins the Military
  • Living in Rota, Spain
  • What To Do When Your Spouse Wants To Join The Military
  • The Night Before They Deploy
  • Why You Should Break Up With Your Military Boyfriend

About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been a military spouse for 16 years!

My husband of 19 years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

~Contact Me~
Military Life Products
Favorite Books!

Sign up for your FREE Guide to the First 30 Days of Deployment!


Thank you!

Check your email for confirmation! 

.
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Footer

Archives

Copyright © 2022 Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life on the Foodie Pro Theme

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT