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The Top 10 Takeaways From Military Family Lifestyle Survey

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This post is sponsored by Blue Star Families!

Have you heard of the Blue Star Families Annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey? This survey provides a comprehensive understanding of the experiences and challenges encountered by military families. It is a yearly snapshot of the state of military families.

The data from the survey isn’t just to share with military families, it is also there to help change things for the better. It helps to inform national leaders, local communities, and philanthropic actors. It helps increase dialogue between the military community and broader American society, minimizing the civilian-military divide and supporting the health and sustainability of the all-volunteer force.

Blue Star Families conducted its 10th annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey from May through June 2019. They had over 11,000 respondents, including active duty service members, veterans, National Guard, Reserve, and their immediate family members.

The Blue Star Families Annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey is the largest and most comprehensive survey of the military and their families.

There is a lot of information in the survey, so I wanted to highlight the top 10 takeaways based on the top trends and findings for 2019.

Military families act to offset the impact of relocation on their children’s education, an issue that continues to be a top-five issue of concern for respondents.

Military families have concerns around family stability and dependent children’s education. Some are either turning to homeschooling, or voluntary separation from their service member.

Availability and affordability of childcare are barriers that negatively impact service members’ pursuit of employment and/or education.

Not being able to find or afford good childcare is making it difficult to pursue employment or educational goals.

Military spouse respondents who are unemployed indicate their top challenge to working is service member day-to-day job demands making it difficult to balance work and home demands.

A service member’s day-to-day job demands is a top barrier to employment among military spouses. Top barriers do however differ when children are present.

Three-fourths of employed military spouse respondents experience some degree of underemployment; this issue persists among spouses of veterans.

77% of employed military spouses and 68% of veteran spouses report at least one circumstance of underemployment.

Potential impacts on a service member’s career is the most common reason for not seeking treatment for active-duty, National Guard, and Reserve family respondents who had seriously considered attempting suicide/had attempted suicide in the past year.

40% of military, veteran, National Guard, and Reserve family respondents, who had seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, and received help after the most recent incident, did not find it helpful and 8% couldn’t find that help at all.

Families enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) report difficulty obtaining specialty medical care in a reasonable amount of time after a relocation.

40% of military family respondents who have an EFMP Family Member are unable to obtain a referral and be seen by a specialist in a reasonable amount of time after relocating.

Military family respondents caring for a child with special needs report their community does not have all the resources their family needs.

More than a 3rd (36%) of military family respondents feel like their community doesn’t have all the recourses their family needs.

National Guard and Reserve families feel local civilian support agencies are not effective in addressing their needs.

Nearly one half of National Guard and Reserve families feel their local civilian support agencies are not effective in addressing their needs.

Military and veteran family respondents who perceive that civilians in their local communities have greater military family lifestyle competence feel a greater sense of belonging to that community.

40% of military family respondents don’t feel a sense of belonging to their local civilian community.

The majority of military families have a positive experience with their children’s schools but identify improvement opportunities related to the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children.

The majority of families with school-aged children report their oldest child is thriving at school, but feel schools can improve.

Please take the time to head on over to Blue Star Families and download the survey results. There is a lot of information there, and it would be helpful for any military family member to read the results and learn more about the military community in general. Knowing what the struggles and frustrations as well as about what is going well for the military community is important.

Take A Vet To School Program

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My post for Everyone Serves for Blue Star Families will be about the Take a Vet to school program.

I think it is so important for younger people to understand what has come before them. To know their history and what others have done in the past. It can help shape them and give them different interests than they might not otherwise have.

I think the Take a Vet To School Program is a great way to help kids understand about the past. What they do is organize events on Veteran’s Day or leading up to it in the school setting. They can be just a one class visit or an assembly for the whole school. Students will get to learn about the history of Veteran’s Day and hear from vets about what they have done in their lives. Not everyone comes from a Military family so it is nice for these kids to learn more about what it means to serve your country.

Both of my grandpas served in the Military. They are no longer with us so I can not ask them about their time in the service. The Take a Vet to School program can allow children to hear stories from the peers of their family members that might have passed away. They can hear about what it was like to serve during the same time one of their own family members served.

If you are interested in this program you can visit Got Your Six for more information.

What better way to educate our youth on Military service then to connect them to the people who have been there and served their country proudly? And although Military children might be used to the uniform, civilian children might not be. This is a great way to bridge that divide between Military families and Civilian ones.

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

The Military Community And Why It Matters

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30011-2My post for Everyone ServesforBlue Star Familiesis going to be about the Military community and why it matters.

The Military community. Other families going through what you are going through. It matters and it is important.

Our first duty station as a family was in Germany and the Military community over there is a lot closer than in the US. You have to be. You are all over there together making your way through deployments and other Military adventures. No one really can just go home during the weekends. A trip back to the states is expensive and a lot of people don’t even make one during their time overseas. There are less service members stationed at each place and in some cases are only made up of one or two brigades. Because of that most of the community deploys together.

After all of our deployments I can tell you that having a strong Military community is so important. The stronger it is, the easier it is going to be for the family when their loved one is away.

Yes there can be drama and no you do not have to take part in every aspect of it. But it is nice to make friends with others that know what you are going through. Who know what it is like to miss someone so badly that you want to cry your eyes out. Who know what it is like to be afraid every time someone knocks on your door. Who knows what it is like to go from deployment to deployment wondering when you will get a real break.

It helps to meet others who may have given birth without their husband, who left everyone they have ever known to PCS to an unknown place, and someone who also gets frustarted when their spouse has missed all five of their son’s birthdays just like your spouse has. It is just nice to find people who can understand all of that.

The military community matters and it is very important to the welfare of the service member and his family.

How have you been connected in your Military community?

Follow Blue Star Families onFacebook,Twitter, andGoogle+and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

Why Everyone Serves Is A Must If Your Are Going Through A Deployment

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This week I will be writing about why every Military Spouse needs a copy of Everyone Serves, a great handbook for those getting ready for a deployment, going through one or in the months after the deployment is over.

Living the Military Spouse life requires a lot of support. Support from family and friends. Possibly support from a church or other religious organization. There are many resources to take advantage of. Everyone Serves is one of them.

This book is a handbook for those of us going through the hard reality that makes up a deployment. When you are going through something like that, you need all the help and support that you can get.

You can read straight through it or look up the section you need at any given time. It can make you feel better about what you are dealing with. It can make it so you don’t feel so alone in your thoughts.

The worksheets can get you thinking about your experiences and the emotions you go through when your loved on is away. It can help you see things you might now be aware of. By watching videos of other Military families, you can hear their ideas and know that you are not going through this alone.

Not everyone has a good local support system. It just doesn’t work out sometimes or the family moves to a new location right before the service member deploys. Using Everyone Serves is not a replacement for real life friends but it can help sort out some of the issues you might be going through if you don’t have anyone local to talk with about it.

The great thing about this guide is that it is free. Anyone who needs to can go and download it. Have you gotten a copy for yourself yet? You should. Even if a deployment is not in your near future. It is always good to be prepared 🙂



Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

Thoughts On Syria From An Army Wife

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20121103-IMG_0275Today’s Blue Star Family post is going to be about Syria. I was asked to talk about future engagements and the possibility of military action and what it does to morale at home.

So Syria. It looks like we are probably headed to war. Over the last few days I have been trying to figure out how I feel about the whole thing. I kinda understand reasons why we should, but I also understand reasons why we shouldn’t.

I also know that a lot of the Military is worn thin. A lot of service members have been deployed over and over since 2003. Getting into another war right now is not good. This is why I think the US needs to be very sure that going to war is the right thing. If we need to go to war, we need to go to war. However, if there is any other way…

As far as how morale is. It isn’t good, especially within the deployed spouse community. There is a lot of fear. Fear that current deployments will be extended. Fear that their soldier will only be home for a couple of months before they have to deploy again. Fear that something really bad is going to happen.

I feel like I am in an interesting place. My husband is getting out in June. Unless something really odd happens, this will be his last deployment. But after almost 8 years as an Army wife, I still cringe when I think about more war and more deployments. I know what hearing about the next deployment while they are still deployed is like. It is overwhelming.

I wish there was an easy answer to all of this. I wish it was cut and dry. I wish we had been at “peace” for a few years before this crisis came up.

Military families are strong and can endure a lot but how much is too much?

If you are going through a deployment, have you checked out Everybody Serves? It is a great resource whether you are currently going through a deployment, about to start one or just finished one.

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

We Are Military Spouses

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20110508-IMG_1553My post today is for Blue Star Families. I will be answering the question, “Are Military Spouses today able to suck it up or are do we whine too much and feel we are entitled?”

I think that most Military spouses today are able to suck it up, at least for the most part. I think there is a difference between being whiney and wanting to vent. I also think it isn’t an easy thing to figure out sometimes. It can be difficult to understand your emotions. We don’t always know why we feel the way we do about certain circumstances.

Whenever Sears does their Heroes At Home (which will be tomorrow by the way) you hear the internet go wild with complaining, venting, name calling and it can get down right nasty at times. Someone can get frustrated over not getting the extra money and someone else calls them entitled. Maybe they are being entitled or maybe they are struggling and thought this would be a good thing for their family. It is so hard to judge, especially on the Internet.

I think this lifestyle can be pretty difficult and because of that a lot of venting goes on. Some people have a harder time than others. We all do what we can to support our service member. Or maybe I should say most of us do. We have all heard the stories of the wife who cheated or just gave up and went home. I think venting can cross into whininess pretty quickly. It is a fine line. One which I am sure I cross some times.

I do think we need services such as FRGs, free or reduced childcare, classes and other support systems through a deployment or even during a non-deployment period. I don’t think that makes us weak. I think it makes us smart enough to realize that we do need some help along the way. And I think those in years past who did not have everything we did are happy that we are given the extra support.

What do you think?

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

Finding Balance During A Military Deployment

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20120908-IMG_9336My next post for Blue Star Families will be about balance during a deployment.

Balance is something I think most people try to achieve in all areas of their life. They want to balance work with home and family. It is no different for us Military families. The issue for us is that it can be more difficult to find that balance, especially during a deployment. When a spouse is gone it is up to the other spouse to fill in the gaps. This can be quite difficult.

I know for myself I work towards balance but I always feel like I am falling short. For example, we might have a day where the kids have a lot of fun but I just can’t get to everything that needs to get done in the house. We might eat a yummy meal but the laundry doesn’t get done. It can be frustrating but I do try hard to let things go. I try to tell myself that I am doing the work of two parents right now. Not everything is going to be perfect.

I also try not to take on too much. Right now we are getting used to 1st and 2nd grade homework. It is taking quite some time each day. By the time we are done, it is time to make dinner. I simply can’t see how we could add in a sport or another afternoon activity right now. I just don’t have the strength to juggle that. I know that about myself so I try to make choices based on what I think I can handle.

I think balancing everything perfectly is such a hard thing to do. I think for most of us we just try to do out best with what we have. We try to make time for everything that needs to get done. We try not to ignore parts of our lives that might need our attention.

How do you achieve balance as a Military spouse?

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

How Kids Handle Deployment

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For this week’s Blue Star Families post I will be talking about the kids and how they are handling the deployment.

We are almost two months in and as far as my kids go I think they are handling it well. There are our normal kid issues, me feeling burned out all the time and the solo parenting but I don’t see them struggling too much which is a good thing.

My almost nine year old gets sad. He also knows that I need more help and is offering it. Today he took in all of the groceries from the car and put every single one of them away. Then he went on to make himself a sandwich. Just little things like that I have never had before during a deployment. It is really nice.

My six year old has Asperger’s and he told me he doesn’t care that Ben is gone. This makes me sad but it is just how he is. He is all about Mom so even though Daddy is there for him when he is home, him being away doesn’t seem to be bothering him.

My two year old has surprised me a bit. He is such a big Daddy’s boy. He would ask when Daddy would be home when Ben was just at work during the day. I was worried he would cry everyday or something. So far he has been okay with it. If you ask him where Daddy is he will say, “he is gone” and that is all.

I know how lucky I am that my kids are doing okay with all of this. I know it can be really hard on children. Maybe it will show up later on in life or maybe not.

I also wanted to share that there are some great resources on the Everyone Serves Site that can help you during a deployment. One of these resources are some worksheets you can fill out. If you are having a rough time you might want to check out, Coping During Deployment: A Checklist. It will give you a nice list of things to remember during a deployment. This list has really helped me out on those days where I just want to crawl into a hole until my husband comes home.

What is the best way you have found to cope during a deployment?

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.