Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

christmas

When the Holidays Don’t Feel Like the Holidays

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When the Holidays Don't Feel Like the Holidays

The holidays are here, and with this season comes decorating for Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever holiday you celebrate. You want to be excited, you want to go all-in, but…what do you do when your spouse is deployed? When they are off in Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa, or some other part of the world too many miles from where you are? What do you do when you just don’t feel like doing Christmas? When you just don’t feel like setting anything up? When you just want the holidays to be over so you will be closer to homecoming and seeing your spouse again?

When your spouse is deployed during this time of year, the holidays don’t always feel like the holidays. You might want to skip them altogether, or just wish away time to the new year when the holidays are over. You might not be feeling like you even have much to celebrate. But you do.

I think most military spouses will go through this at one time or another.

Here are some ideas to help if you are feeling like the holidays and not the holidays this year:

Don’t pressure yourself 

One of the biggest issues with social media is comparing yourself to other families. And this seems to get worse during the holidays. The thing is, you don’t have to do things the way others do.

Is there something that overwhelms you at the thought of having to do it? Don’t. Or maybe there is something you normally do with help from your spouse, and you simply don’t have the energy to do so this year. That’s okay too.

Find what works for your family and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Take the pressure off yourself. Your holiday season will be much easier that way.

Add a new tradition

Why not try a new tradition this year? Something for you and your kids to get excited about. Are you stationed overseas? If so, why not adopt a tradition of the country you are stationed in? Adding something new can be just what you need to get excited about this holiday season, even if your spouse is deployed.

Plan for celebrating later

If your spouse is coming home early in the new year, you could always save the celebrating for then. If you have very small children or no children, this can work well. Older, school-age children might have trouble with this so you could have a small celebration with plans for a bigger one later. As military families, we have to be flexible and this is one way to do so during a deployment.

Fake it until you make it

Sometimes you simply have to fake it until you make it. Make a list of all the holiday things you normally do and try to work on a few a day, even if you don’t feel like it. Getting started with getting ready for the holidays can help you get in the mood. Involve your kids because you know they are going to be excited about the holidays no matter what.

Put on a Christmas movie, light a holiday candle, or take the kids to see Santa. Do something that can really put you in the holiday mood. This can help you get there, even if you are not sure if it will work.

What have you done to help during the holidays when you don’t feel like celebrating because they are deployed?

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

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Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

This is a sponsored post! I received a free tree for the review!

When do you put up your Christmas tree? It seems like people are pretty divided on this. Should you wait until after Thanksgiving? What about the weekend before? Does it even really matter?

Well this year, we put our tree last week. I was super excited to receive a free Easy Treezy Christmas Tree to review on my blog, I didn’t want to wait.

With Easy Treezy you can choose from a pre-lit or a pre-decorated tree. I went with the pre-decorated because I am all about the easy here. I wanted something that didn’t take a lot of time, was easy to put up, and still looked really nice.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

From the moment I opened the box to once I was done fluffing the tree was less than 25 minutes. And this was with taking some photos and checking out the parts of the trees as well as the decorations. It will be even quicker next time as I now know exactly what to do.

The Easy Treezy IS very easy! The tree came in four different parts that come together and line up with color-coded areas and magnets. That part was super quick! I usually get frustrated with artificial trees since it isn’t always easy to know where the parts go but this one is made to be easy to put together.

I spent the most amount of time plugging in the lights as each section needs to be plugged into the other sections in order to light up the entire tree. After I did that, I spent some time fluffing up the tree to get the branches to look the way I wanted and to fill in over the middle pole of the tree.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

We decided to go with the slim tree as we have limited space in our Living Room. Before we got this tree I wasn’t sure what we were going to do about a tree because of this. I didn’t want the tree taking up too much of our minimal space. The slim tree is pretty perfect and fits in nicely right in front of our front window.

Our tree is 7’5 because I like a tree being taller than me 🙂 But you can also get them in 5’5 if you don’t want one that tall. They also have flocked trees if that is your preference.

As far as whether you should get a pre-lit or a pre-decorated tree, that will depend on what you like. I like the decorations on the tree, I think the poinsettias are my favorite but they might not work for everyone. They are glittery so when putting up the tree I did get glitter in my living room but since the tree has been up to over a week now that hasn’t seemed to be a big issue. The decorations are fixed on the tree so you don’t take them off and reposition them or anything like that.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

The lights are clear lights, and every Easy Treezy comes with 270 durable, long-lasting clear LED lights. You just need to make sure you have them all plugged into each other for the whole tree to light up.

Now, the base of the tree means that the tree won’t lean or fall over but that also means that there isn’t any space under the tree for presents.

Easy Treezy also sells wreaths and garland, as well as holiday decor kits.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

I love how easy this tree was to put up, how the slim design doesn’t take up too much space, and how once I put it up, the tree was already decorated.

So, head on over to Easytreezy.com and check them out 🙂 Use the code SNOW50 for $50 off any product on their website.

What Military Spouses Want For Christmas

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What Military Spouses Want For Christmas

What Military Spouses Want For Christmas

Sometimes the holidays are a bit difficult for the military spouse. You could be going through a deployment, you could be getting ready to PCS, or you could be in a state of not knowing what is going to happen in the new year and it is driving you crazy. The holidays are a crazy time of year and military stress just adds to everything else you are trying to get done.

But what would make things better? What would help the military spouse, over the holidays and into the new year to come…?

Good friends

Good friends are a must! You can be there for one another, through the good and the bad days. You can have fun and make memories together. Having a tribe is one of the best parts of military life and will help you through any situation you might find yourself in.

What Military Spouses Want For Christmas

Enough wine

You can replace wine with coffee or your favorite type of drink. Just something to have on hand to get through. Not to overindulge, but to relax, or just to kick back with friends. We, military spouses, need to relax sometimes, even if it seems like we don’t have a lot of time to do so.

Extra patience

Military life is about waiting, and more waiting. Any extra bit of patience we can get would be helpful. Patience to wait until the end of a deployment, patience to wait on orders, patience to feel at home at a new duty station, the list goes on and one.

The strength to endure

While living this life, there will be many times when you need to find extra strength to endure. To get through the more difficult periods. To stay strong and thrive vs. just survive. As a military spouse, we are always looking for ways to make things a bit easier, and tips to help us through.

What Military Spouses Want For Christmas

Hope for the future

Being hopeful about the future will go a long way in whatever happens in the new year. Not all of military life is hard and difficult. Some of military life is pretty amazing. From the friends that you meet along the way, to the things you have been able to see and experience because your spouse serves in the military. Having hope that the good will come will help you get through the not so nice parts of this life.

A homecoming date

At the end of the day, we all want that homecoming date. We want to hear that it is too late to send another package, that things will be starting to be sent home, and that we should be picking out homecoming outfits and making signs. We want to know the end of the deployment is near and that our service member will be coming home.

While we might not be able to get all of these things for Christmas, we can do what we can to help with some of them. We can get out there and meet new people, we can work on staying patience in times when it is hard to do so, and we can find tips to help us though, whatever we are dealing with.

What would you add to this list???

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

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5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

I live precisely 1,996.1 miles from my family in California. Going home for Christmas doesn’t happen very often, in fact, the last time it did was 2007, ten years ago. Since then, we have spent every Christmas in our own home. My boys are so used to being in our own home for Christmas that I think it would be weird for them to be somewhere else on Christmas day.

I do hope that sometime in the future, going home for Christmas is something we can do. With my husband’s work schedule, the cost of plane tickets and all of that, traveling over the holidays just doesn’t work out.

A lot of military families are in the same boat. Being stationed on the other side of the country or even across the ocean from your family makes it hard to go home for Christmas. When you are on a budget, you look for other times of year to go home when the tickets are not quite as expensive.

Every year I am happy we have our own little Christmas, but at the same time, I get sad about not spending the day with our families. I get homesick on Christmas Day and wish we could do things differently.

However, I don’t want to spend the whole season being upset about it. I look at the benefits of not going home for the holidays, and I embrace them.

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

If you are sad about not going home for Christmas this year, here are five benefits of not going home for Christmas:

1. Make your traditions

When you don’t go home for Christmas, you can create your traditions and basically do what you want. You are in a lot more control about what happens over the holidays. You can open gifts on Christmas Eve, cook what you want, and celebrate the day or days, however is best for your own family.

2. You can invite people to your home

By staying home, you can invite family to your own home for Christmas. If you like hosting, this could be ideal. You can be the home where everyone goes on Christmas day.

3. Your kids wake up Christmas day in their own house

I love that my kids get to wake up in their own home on Christmas day. They will always remember that. I will too. They can get up as they want, wake us up a little too early, and we can open presents as a family in our pj’s.

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

4. Spend time with friends

If you have friends that didn’t go home for Christmas too, you can make plans to see them too. You can plan a dessert or even part of Christmas dinner together. If your spouse is deployed, you can get together with other spouses who also have a deployed spouse this holiday season. These other spouses will understand what you are going through this year.

5. Explore the traditions of your duty station

Whether you are stationed in Kentucky, New York, or Germany, explore what is going on in your local community. They could have traditions you don’t have at home. While a warm break from colder weather would be nice, I love that it could snow on Christmas here, even if it rarely does. That wasn’t something that could ever happen growing up, and my inner child gets excited about the possibility of a white Christmas.

If you are stationed overseas during the holidays, you could be in for a big treat. Learn about the different traditions from your host country and take some back with you when you move back to the US. Visit the Christmas markets, go to a Christmas Luau, and enjoy what your current country does for the holidays.

Christmas is a magical time, and just because you can’t go home for Christmas, that doesn’t mean you can’t make your own memories where you are now.

Do you typically go home for the holidays or do you like celebrating right where you are?

What You Need to Do When You Are Overseas for the Holidays

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What You Need to Do When You Are Overseas for the HolidaysWhat You Need to Do When You Are Overseas for the Holidays

Christmas 2008, my friend and I took our kids out to the local Christmas Market. We lived in a small village and even they had a small Christmas market. I love how the Germans do Christmas. They go big. Every town square is decorated. Most towns and villages have their own Christmas markets and you can tell the whole country is ready to celebrate.

We spent 4 holiday seasons in Germany and each one was so magical. If you are lucky enough to be overseas for the holidays, take advantage of what is going on around you. Once you move back to the states you will no longer be surrounded by the culture. You want to take advantage of that experience.

What You Need to Do When You Are Overseas for the Holidays

So what should you do when you are overseas for the holidays? Here are some ideas!

Visit Local Events

Whether you visit the Christmas markets in Germany or the light displays in South Korea, be a part of the culture and embrace what the country does to celebrate. You will make fun memories and have a lot of good stories to tell people back home about your holiday experiences in another country. Sometimes your military installation will also have events based on where you live. See what is going on and what you can be a part of. Remember, people in the US pay a lot of money to visit these same places during this time of year. You are already there, embrace what your host country has to offer.

Adopt a New Tradition

Learn a new tradition that will work for your family that you can take back home with you. For example, St. Nicholas Day. This is celebrated on December 6 in Germany. Children leave out their shoes and St. Nicholas will come by during the night and fill them with goodies. You also will get a chance to meet St. Nicholas around German towns and villages. If you happen to be able to be stationed in more than one overseas location, you can turn your own family’s holiday season into a mix of traditions you have picked up from all the places you have lived.

Think Outside the Box

Sometimes you are going to have to think outside the box when you are overseas for the holidays. If your Christmas day has always included making a big turkey but your overseas apartment doesn’t have a big enough oven to cook one, think about what else you can do. Why not make a traditional holiday meal based on what the locals eat? Or, invite your neighbors over for a potluck asking them to bring their favorite dishes. If it seems weird to do the holidays differently, just think of the changes as a new experience and one you won’t be able to have later on down the road when you are back in the states.

Take Photos and Share

Take a lot of pictures of your holiday and what you did to celebrate while you are overseas. Family and friends back home would love to see what you did that was different from what they do back home. You could also make a special scrapbook about your holidays overseas. One that you can look back at years in the future or share with your children who might not have remembered those years.

Even if you do go home for Christmas, see what holidays traditions you can take part of before you leave. Embrace your tempory country and learn from the people who call the country home. Enjoy the holiday season and make new memories with your family and new friends.

What holiday traditions do you plan to adopt from the country you are currently living in?

For the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Who Can't Go Home For ChristmasFor the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

When I was in college, I went home every Christmas break. I loved that. A break from the college routine, a time to see my family and friends from high school. A time to be a “kid” again, if only for a few weeks. I can still remember going back to my apartment after my last final, finishing packing and getting ready to head to the airport.

When we first got married we decided that we would switch off each holiday. So one year we would spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Then the next year we would switch. This worked well for 3 years. Then we moved and my husband joined the Army and that schedule went out the window.

The truth is, military families have a harder time going home for the holidays.

Going home is going to be easier if you live close enough to drive. You might even be able to go for just the weekend. If you are overseas or across the country from home, getting there for Christmas is going to be a bit more difficult. Christmas block leave is a great thing but not everyone gets to take it. And even when you do, you might not be able to afford to fly the whole family back home.

There are a lot of reasons why military families can’t go home for Christmas.

Maybe you just got married, going home just isn’t an option and this will be your first year away from home for the holidays. Maybe your husband is deployed and with three small children, flying across the country alone just isn’t something you can do. Maybe you don’t even have a good family situation to go visit this year or maybe finances are tight and you need to save for your upcoming PCS in the new year.

Maybe you have fond memories of previous years or your own childhood. Of setting up the tree together, of going Christmas caroling with your childhood church, of baking cookies with Grandma and of having a night out with your best high school friends who you haven’t seen in a while. If you can’t go home, even if it is your choice, you can start to feel sad about all that you are missing. And there really can be a lot to miss. To not be there when everyone else in your family is coming together can be hard to deal with.

If you can’t go home for Christmas, you should do what you can to make the holiday special anyway, with your own little family.

Think up new traditions that your kids would love. Are you overseas? Try to incorporate some of the traditions from the country you are in. Take them back with you when you move back to the US. If you know other families that are staying around for the holidays, make plans to get together with them. Embrace not having to travel during the busiest travel days of the year. Think about how your children will have memories of waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning. See if anyone will come and visit you during the holidays instead. Sometimes it is easier for one or two family members to come out to see you instead of all of you going to see them.

So for the military spouse that can’t go home for Christmas…

Make your holidays a special one, even if you are not where you want to be. Make sure to call your mom on Christmas day, think about the new year and enjoy the quietest and more simple Christmas that you are having in your own home. You can’t always go home for Christmas and that is okay. You can still have a special Christmas filled with happy memories and moments with your own family and local community.

Do you usually go home for Christmas?

How To Make Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean Away

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How To Make Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean AwayHow To Make Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean Away

He left in November of that year for his 2nd deployment. That meant he was going to miss Christmas that year. We also were not going to be going home as we were in Germany and the idea of traveling with a 2-year-old and 4-year-old over the holidays was a little too much. Plus, my parents were coming to visit around my birthday in January.

As I looked ahead to Christmas day I couldn’t help but be sad about my husband missing the holiday. Our boys were still so young. These Christmases are important. They are what we will look back years in the future, the Santa Christmases when everyone was young enough to believe and the toys were rather simple.

But there was nothing I could do. My husband would be in Iraq that Christmas and we would be home in Germany without him. The good thing was I was not alone. There were quite a few other spouses going through the same thing, being without their spouse for Christmas. This included one of my best friends, who also had small children.

We decided that being by ourselves this Christmas wasn’t going to work well for us. We also knew that we needed to plan something to help us get through the day. We made plans. We would spend Christmas morning with our own children, watch them open their gifts and then meet up to make Christmas dinner together while our kids played.

This was one of the best things we could have done. Were we still sad and missing our husbands? Yes, but we had something else to focus on and so did our kids. That Christmas didn’t turn out to be too horrible after all and all it took was a little planning to make the holiday special.

The key to getting through the holiday season without your spouse by your side is to make the holiday special anyway. Do what you can to bring in the Christmas joy, even if you don’t feel like doing so. Here are some great ideas on how to make your holidays special, even when your heart is an ocean away-

Plan Christmas Day

If you celebrate Christmas, plan that day out. What will it look like? Where will you eat? How will you spend that time? You can plan a date with friends or stay home. Whatever will work for you and your family. Just plan something. Even if your plan includes taking the kids to the movies and picking up fast food on the way home.

Save Presents

Save a few presents to open when Dad is back home, even if that will be June. You can have a mini-Christmas later. You don’t even have to let your kids know there are more presents. You can save presents for your deployed spouse as well. Make a fun day of your mini-Christmas after he is home from his deployment.

Take pictures

Your husband might miss Christmas but he can still see what you guys did that day. Take photos of everything you do. Make an album and send that in your next care package or save for when he gets home. Include Christmas memories from your children as well. Your deployed spouse will enjoy reading those too. Ask your deployed spouse for Christmas of their day as well. They might have been able to celebrate a little bit, even if they were overseas. 

Decorate

Decorate your house anyway, even if doing so seems hard. Sometimes people just don’t have the desire to do so but try to make yourself decorate anyway. You will be glad you did. Life can’t stop just because they are deployed. Life has to keep moving, that includes decorating for the season. You can always put your tree up early if your spouse deploys in the fall. Who cares if it is in October? Sometimes us military families do things on a slightly different schedule than everyone else. You can also leave the Christmas decor up longer than usual so your spouse can see everything when he gets home.

What have you done in the past to make Christmas or the holidays special even when your spouse has been away? What advice would you give to new spouses going through their first Christmas alone?

Amy Grant’s Tennessee Christmas CD Review and Giveaway

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Tennessee Christmas

Amy Grant’s Tennessee Christmas CD Review and Giveaway

Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255:  “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”):  Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway.  Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation.  I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

I was about 12 years old when I discovered Amy Grant’s Christmas albums. I had them on cassette tape and used to listen to them all season long. This was back in the day when you had to have a cassette or CD in order to listen to the music you wanted when you wanted to. I think I wore those albums out!

When I heard that Amy Grant was going to come out with a new Christmas album this year, I was very excited!

Tennessee Christmas is one of my favorite songs. The song has changed for me over the years. Before, I was a teen growing up in Southern California. Now I am a mom of three raising my boys in Tennessee and there is just something about that song that makes me feel good about being here, especially during the Christmas season.

“Well they say in l.a., It’s a warm holiday; It’s the only place to be. But a tender Tennessee Christmas Is the only Christmas for me.”

Tennessee Christmas is on the new album as well as many other songs that you have heard before. Here is the list:

  1. Tennessee Christmas
  2. To Be Together
  3. Christmas for You and Me
  4. Melancholy Christmas
  5. December
  6. White Christmas
  7. Joy to the World
  8. I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
  9. Baby, It’s Cold Outside
  10. Christmas Don’t Be Late
  11. Still Can’t Sleep
  12. Another Merry Christmas
  13. O Come, All Ye Faithful

Besides Tennessee Christmas, some of my other favorites are To Be Together, Joy to the World and O Come, All Ye Faithful. I enjoyed all the songs and will be listening to this CD in my car for the next few weeks. The CD book is filled with the lyrics and photos from Amy’s life.

Tennessee Christmas

Amy is also asking fans to upload any videos they might have of surprising loved ones for the holidays. Have you ever done that? Have you ever had a Christmas homecoming?

If you have a video to share, you can share to your own social media using the hashtag, #TNChristmasSurprise! The videos that are chosen will be a part of a compilation video that Amy will share on her own social media outlets.

You can also find Tennessee Christmas on iTunes!

Now for the giveaway! One of my readers will be able to win 1 of Amy Grant’s Tennessee Christmas CDs.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller /FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win.  Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.  Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Just enter with the Rafflecopter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over ChristmasFor the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas…

Christmas music on the radio, trees going up, presents being bought and travel arrangements being finalized. December is almost here, Christmas is right around the corner. This is a great time of year, right?

For the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, this time of year is one to be gotten through. One to be survived. The rest of the world can be excited but for this military spouse, Christmas is not going to be Christmas this year.

Her husband, the father of her children will not be home. He will be in a war zone.

She won’t be wrapping gifts with him and playing Santa together. He won’t be able to sit with her at the Christmas Eve service or watch as their kids open their gifts. He won’t be sitting at the table eating ham and he won’t be able to build snowmen in the backyard on Christmas afternoon.

I have been this spouse and it isn’t fun. Being without your spouse on Christmas can be so very difficult. You are always missing them but there is something about Christmas that brings people together. There are movies made about this. About someone rushing home and making it right before Santa flies by on his sleigh. 

For the military spouse going through a deployment, Christmas might just be a regular old day, one in which it feels as if the rest of the world is happy and rejoicing and that they clearly are not. 

There are things a military spouse can do to make Christmas a little better during a deployment. They can celebrate early or even late when their spouse will be home. They can videotape the gift opening. They can go home and be with family but that isn’t always an option.

They can plan a meal with a friend which helps them stay busy and allows them to make memories with friends they will always consider family. They can fill their calendars with every holiday activity their community provides. They can remember that next year their spouse will be with them and that someday they will be there for every Christmas.

The military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas can do all of these things to make the season a little better…

But when all the gifts are unwrapped, when the turkey has been eaten and the children are asleep after a fun day, she will shed a tear for the memories her sweet husband didn’t get to share with them that year, for the sadness she knew her kids felt and for the hope that after the holiday season is over, the countdown will speed up and that homecoming will be upon her, the day her husband will be home.

So if you are the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, know that you are not alone.

Know that this too will pass. Know that you are stronger than you think. Know that your holiday might look a little different than it did in the past. Know that it is going to be okay. Know that you are being prayed for and that people do think and care about you.

It’s going to be okay military spouse, it really is. You might shed too many tears on Christmas day. You might wonder why your spouse has to be away when other spouses never have to go. You might not want to celebrate the holiday at all.

But whatever you do, however you celebrate, know that it is going to be okay and that although being without your spouse on Christmas is going to be difficult, you will get through this. That as the new year starts you will look ahead and see that homecoming date in your future and know that deployments do end. Your spouse will be back with you and that you will be able to make memories with them again soon.

Missing someone is not about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you have talked…it is about that very moment when you are doing something and wishing they were there with you.
—Anonymous