Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

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For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over ChristmasFor the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas…

Christmas music on the radio, trees going up, presents being bought and travel arrangements being finalized. December is almost here, Christmas is right around the corner. This is a great time of year, right?

For the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, this time of year is one to be gotten through. One to be survived. The rest of the world can be excited but for this military spouse, Christmas is not going to be Christmas this year.

Her husband, the father of her children will not be home. He will be in a war zone.

She won’t be wrapping gifts with him and playing Santa together. He won’t be able to sit with her at the Christmas Eve service or watch as their kids open their gifts. He won’t be sitting at the table eating ham and he won’t be able to build snowmen in the backyard on Christmas afternoon.

I have been this spouse and it isn’t fun. Being without your spouse on Christmas can be so very difficult. You are always missing them but there is something about Christmas that brings people together. There are movies made about this. About someone rushing home and making it right before Santa flies by on his sleigh. 

For the military spouse going through a deployment, Christmas might just be a regular old day, one in which it feels as if the rest of the world is happy and rejoicing and that they clearly are not. 

There are things a military spouse can do to make Christmas a little better during a deployment. They can celebrate early or even late when their spouse will be home. They can videotape the gift opening. They can go home and be with family but that isn’t always an option.

They can plan a meal with a friend which helps them stay busy and allows them to make memories with friends they will always consider family. They can fill their calendars with every holiday activity their community provides. They can remember that next year their spouse will be with them and that someday they will be there for every Christmas.

The military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas can do all of these things to make the season a little better…

But when all the gifts are unwrapped, when the turkey has been eaten and the children are asleep after a fun day, she will shed a tear for the memories her sweet husband didn’t get to share with them that year, for the sadness she knew her kids felt and for the hope that after the holiday season is over, the countdown will speed up and that homecoming will be upon her, the day her husband will be home.

So if you are the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, know that you are not alone.

Know that this too will pass. Know that you are stronger than you think. Know that your holiday might look a little different than it did in the past. Know that it is going to be okay. Know that you are being prayed for and that people do think and care about you.

It’s going to be okay military spouse, it really is. You might shed too many tears on Christmas day. You might wonder why your spouse has to be away when other spouses never have to go. You might not want to celebrate the holiday at all.

But whatever you do, however you celebrate, know that it is going to be okay and that although being without your spouse on Christmas is going to be difficult, you will get through this. That as the new year starts you will look ahead and see that homecoming date in your future and know that deployments do end. Your spouse will be back with you and that you will be able to make memories with them again soon.

Missing someone is not about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you have talked…it is about that very moment when you are doing something and wishing they were there with you.
—Anonymous

On Buying Christmas Gifts For Your Children

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On Buying Christmas Gifts For Your ChildrenOn Buying Christmas Gifts For Your Children

Tis the season for buying Christmas gifts for your children. The stores are having sales, your kids are making Christmas lists and it is easy to feel overwhelmed by it all. You remember Christmas as a kid and you want to make Christmas for your kid just as special as you remember your childhood Christmases being. In some cases you might want to be doing more since you might not have the best memories when you were growing up.

How do you decide what to give your kids? How do you make Christmas special without going overboard? Should you stick to the 4 presents rule that is going around social media? Should you have a firm limit? What do you do if your kid asks Santa for something you simply can’t afford?

There is a lot to think about when it comes to buying Christmas gifts for your children.

There are a few things you can do to get more organized and to come up with a good plan so that they can have a good Christmas and you can feel good about what you buy them.

Stick to a plan

This is a must. If you just walk into toy stores buying random gifts, you are going to go overboard. Start with your budget. Talk it over with your spouse and think about how much you want or you can spend on each child. Start writing down ideas. Have your kids make their Christmas lists too. That helps a lot with figuring out what would be best and what you can afford to get them. I usually start sometime in November and start putting things into Amazon. I put them in my cart and then hit “Save for later.” When I do that, every time I go to my cart Amazon will give me an updated list of prices and then I pretty much stock the site to try to grab the gifts when they go down in price. It also allows me to have a place where I can organize what I will be getting them. I have done this for years and it is a great way to stay organized.

Play Santa

I love Santa, I always have and we have never had anything but good memories from him coming to our house. This year we only have one little boy who still believes but I know the magic will still be there. His brothers know not to let him in on the secret so I hope they stick to that. As for the Santa gifts, what I have always done is just wrap up everything and put “to” on the gift and no “from” if it is something that is either from us or from Santa. I know this won’t work for every child. Some kids will want to know why it doesn’t say who it is from. But my kids? They don’t seem to mind so it works for us. To them, Santa comes on Christmas and leaves a few gifts. The rest are from mom, dad or other family members. I do use different types of wrapping paper as well.

Talk with them about Christmas giving

I think it can be great to talk with your children about why we give presents in the first place, why we celebrate Christmas, the story of the birth of Jesus or anything else that can go beyond just making a Christmas list for their favorite toys. It is good for them to see why there is a Santa in the first place, why families give each other gifts and what we can do to help others during this time. I think it you can do this it won’t matter as much what you actually give them. I also tell them that just because it is on their Christmas list does not mean they are going to get it. The Christmas list is not a genie in a bottle, it is there to help others know what they are into that year and what they might like to see under the tree.

Try not to stress

At the end of the day your Christmas has to look like your Christmas. You know your own kids, you know what works and you know what you can give to them. See what you can buy your kids from their lists, shop sales and look for deals. One year, all my son wanted was a Darth Fader Lego Figure. At the time I thought the only way to get it was by buying a $100+ Lego set and that wasn’t going to happen. I looked and I looked and finally I found the Lego watch that came with a figure too. It took some time to figure that out and it wasn’t the first thing I thought of but it was great to see his face on Christmas morning. Other years we have not been able to get them their #1 toy. It happens. I remember always wanting a Cricket doll and I never got one. Kids get over it. So when you are busy looking for those gifts, try not to stress if you can’t make one happen. There are other things they might enjoy and you can work towards buying those instead. If you do have a disappointed kid on Christmas, use it as a time to talk about others, gift giving and how some children don’t get anything at all. There are ways to use that to help them understand more about other people.

Do you do anything specific when you are buying Christmas gifts for your children? Any great ideas you have come up with over the years?

 

 

Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

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It’s December! It’s the holiday cookie season! Usually around this time of year I start to get into a big baking mood. I want to bake all the things! This year I started with Betty Crocker cookie mixes.

Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

I love them. I have been buying them for years. I remember in college I would get them and make cookies to take to a potluck or just to hang out with friends. They are so easy. Since they require such basic ingredients they are great to keep in your home in case you need to make a dessert on a last-minute basis or just want to make something quick and easy with your kids. They are so ideal for the holiday cookie season.
Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

We used the Betty Crocker Sugar Cookie mix to make these yummy cookies. I decided to add some red, green and chocolate chips to them to give them some holiday cheer. We also made some without the chips since that is my middle son’s favorite type of cookie.

The holidays are a nice time to bless people and bring yummy treats to them. It can be a great way for kids to get involved in the gift giving process too. You can give cookies and other desserts as treats to teachers and other adults that your children have a relationship with.

Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

When you are giving the cookies to them, you need something to put them in. I love these Ziploc containers that are easy to close and add a ribbon to. Betty Crocker Cookie Mixes plus the Ziploc Containers are everything you need to make a nice gift for someone special this holiday season.

Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

 

Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

 

Holiday Sugar Cookie Baking With Betty Crocker

 

Do you have everything you need for holiday baking? Discover New Recipes from Betty Crocker and get some coupons to use to shop at Publix for all your holiday baking needs. Don’t forget to check out the cookie mixes. You can find them in other mixes such as chocolate chip and peanut butter. We plan to make some Christmas Peanut Butter Blossoms next!

Also, make sure to enter my $10 Paypal giveaway to help with your shopping! Enter below!

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5 Ways To Have A Simple Christmas

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Oh to have a simple Christmas. You made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas is coming and you are already feeling overwhelmed. How will you get through it? It isn’t even December 1st yet. There is just so much to do in the next 25 days.

simple Christmas

You want to keep Christmas simple yet you find that difficult with so much on your to-do list.

The truth is, there is the pressure to have a perfect Christmas but there are ways that you can have a simple yet special holiday season.

5 Ways To Have A Simple Christmas-

1. Have you kids help. Now obviously if you have younger children this isn’t going to work as well, but as they get older, have them help. I haven’t had to decorate the Christmas tree in years. My boys are old enough to do it now. This takes a lot of stress off of me having to do everything to get our home to look like Christmas. Older kids can also help you wrap presents, bake cookies and help you set up Christmas dinner.

2. Travel plans. Traveling during the holidays can be stressful. Not just traveling on an airplane but also on Christmas day. If you feel like you have to go to three different houses with four young children, try to make other plans. Don’t feel like you have to take on so much on that day that it doesn’t make it fun anymore. Try to plan things on other days around the holiday and put your foot down if you feel like you are being guilted into going somewhere on Christmas day. I know some families have realized that taking their kids all over on December 25th just isn’t going to work so they plan to spend the whole day at home and invite people to come and see them.

3. Plan ahead with gifts. Make lists, make plans, make budgets. Do this early. If you have a plan the gift giving won’t feel so overwhelming in December. Think about who you will buy for and what that person might like for a gift. Make plans to go out shopping far enough ahead of time that you won’t run into a ton of people while you are doing it. It will make the shopping time less stressful and you can get everything done before the mad rush begins.

4. Plan for a baking day. There are so many Christmas goodies out there. I want to make them all. But even that can get a little overwhelming. It would be a good idea to plan a baking day with either your own family or friends. You can bake for hours making all of your holiday treats at once. You can freeze some if you need to but then you don’t have to feel like you need to bake everyday of the season. It can also be fun for the kids to get together with their friends and bake some cookies.

5. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t like Elf on the Shelf, don’t do it. If you started, find a way to make it simple. There are ways. If you spend the whole month of December doing things you don’t want to do, it will steal your joy. Make your Christmas special and unique for your family. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. You know your kids, what makes them happy and what you can skip. If you know your kids will complain about the cold the whole time you are out caroling, it might be best to skip it until they are older. Think about other ways you can bless people like bringing someone some Christmas cookies instead. There are a lot of options out there for celebrating Christmas so never feel like you have to do X, Y and Z in order to have a nice holiday. That will allow you to have a simple Christmas.

What would you add to this list? What do you do to have a simple Christmas? Any great tips?

Celebrating The Holidays When Your Spouse Is Never Home

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Celebrating The Holidays When Your Spouse Is Never Home

Celebrating The Holidays When Your Spouse Is Never Home

I don’t want to count up the amount of times I have been alone with my children during a holiday. It is not fun. It really takes some of the joy out of it. However, I have learned how to deal with it and how to make the best of it. One thing our family has done that has really helped is deciding to celebrate certain holidays on a different date.

Now for some holidays, when my husband is gone, there isn’t much I can do. Holidays like Halloween and the 4th of July are more community events so I can’t exactly plan to celebrate those on a different day. We just have to enjoy them without my husband, be a little sad about it and hope that next year we will be together. Last 4th of July my husband had his two-week National Guard drill and was gone. We missed him but we enjoyed a pretty cool fireworks show courtsey of my neighbors. We didn’t have as much fun as we would have if he had been home but we still made it work.

Other holidays that are more family centered are easier to change. The two main ones we have done this with for our family are Thanksgiving and Christmas. One year my husband was supposed to deploy on Thanksgiving. The nerve of the Army doing that to us! Well, the mission comes first and that mission said they must leave on Thanksgiving. We could have just decided to skip Thanksgiving that year but I knew my heart would be sad if we did. So we celebrated a week early.

I got up that morning just like it was Thanksgiving. I made most of the dinner, my husband helped with the rest. We were lazy, had fun together and it felt exactly like Thanksgiving even though it was a week before. So when actual Thanksgiving came, it felt like a regular Thursday. We dropped my husband off and we were sad but I didn’t feel like we were missing Thanksgiving together because we had celebrated the week before.

Last Christmas my husband had to be away for work. We didn’t know this until December 18th. So what did we do? We celebrated on December 19th. We told the boys that we would have to celebrate Christmas early, that we notified Santa and that everything would be okay. That night the boys went to bed very excited because it was their Christmas Eve. They woke up the next day to presents under the tree. We did everything we normally did on Christmas from watching the boys play with gifts, to making a nice meal, to just being together. It felt exactly like December 25th! It was great!

Now I know this method won’t work for everyone. And it won’t work for everyone every year. If your husband leaves for deployment in August and won’t be home until February you are probably not going to celebrate Christmas that early. In some cases you will just have to go about the holiday without them knowing that they might be home the next year.

However, if you can work with the dates and celebrate early, do it. It will make the actual day so much easier. You will feel like you already celebrated it. You won’t feel like you are missing as much. You can make your memories for the year and it really doesn’t matter if you celebrated on the actual day. All that matters is that you had your family time together and made a special day before your spouse had to leave.

What do you do about the holidays when your spouse is away? Any special tricks for getting through them?

Our 11th Christmas With Kids

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I was just thinking about how this is our 11th Christmas with kids. 2004 we had a little three-month old baby and we have only grown from there. Having kids at Christmas time can be a magical thing. To see their faces, to remember what that felt like. It’s amazing. They have been there even when Ben has not been home to celebrate with us.

This post is a picture post of all those Christmases and magic they brought into our home…

 

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Looking through all these pictures made me remember those years and how different some of them were. Daniel’s 1st Christmas we were able to spend time with both Grandparents. Christmas of 2006 was spent in Germany with a newborn, my parents and Ben home on R&R. Christmas of 2007 was spent in California after a long 15 month deployment. 2009 was the year we did a smaller Christmas and then went to visit a few countries on our cruise. 2011 was the first year the boys got Legos. 2013, I didn’t take as many photos for some reason but I remember it being a good day. And this year? This year has been a strange one. A lot of changes for our family. Some I am having a hard time with but I just have to believe 2015 will be a good year. Getting out of the Army is hard, even if you think you have figured it out. All I can do is look forward to the future and know that I have a great family, a wonderful husband who I am in still in love with and I am blessed in so many different ways.

Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you have a great day. And if you are sad, lonely or missing someone, just know that tomorrow is another day 🙂

 

My Grown Up Christmas List

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My Grown Up Christmas List

My Grown Up Christmas List

I have always been a fan of Amy Grant’s Holiday albums. We used to have them on cassette tape, then CD and now I pull them up online. One of the songs on one of her albums is, “Grown Up Christmas List.” It’s a song about being an adult, no longer being a kid and having a different type of Christmas list.

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I’m all grown-up now
And still need help somehow.
I’m not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here’s my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start,
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree
Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my only life long wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

It’s a song that makes you stop and think. Sure, I would LOVE a new camera lens, a trip to Hawaii and some new shoes, but if I really think about it, my list looks a little different. This would be my grownup Christmas list…

Grown up Christmas List

  • As much as I would love that all war would stop and no one would ever be deployed again, I know that isn’t even close to being realistic. So I would ask for this. I would hope that those that do get sent to war are ready, that those that are war-weary would get a break and that those going through a deployment in the new year would be comforted and would have the strength to make it through.
  • For financial security. That we would be able to pay off our debt, that we can just have enough. Not too much, not too little. Just enough. That we both can have jobs that will be fulfilling and yet can allow us to be financially secure and provide a good life for our boys.
  • That someday, we can live by family again. Right now that doesn’t even seem possible. It just seems like it won’t ever happen. I just hope it does someday. Even if we have to wait a few more years.
  • That racism wouldn’t be an issue anymore. It hurts my heart to see people being treated badly because of their race. I know we have come a long way in the last 100 years but we sill have a long way to go.
  • That there would be respect for all religions. Our country is made up of so many different belief systems and they need to be respected. If we want the freedom to practice our own religion in the way we see fit, we need to allow other people to do the same.
  • For good friends. I feel lucky because I do have a lot of really good friends but most of them live far away, some are moving away soon and it is always nice to have a good group of girlfriends to depend on, especially in the Military community.
  • That we can help my son with Asperger’s be able to figure it all out. He has come SO far in the last year but there are still a lot of things to work on. I love watching him “get” things. To see that he is understanding why school is important or why you should do certain things is a great feeling. What comes naturally to most people has to be taught to him which is hard but it is great when I see it clicking and see him understanding it more and more.

What about you? What would you put on your grownup Christmas list?