Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Holidays

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

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It’s almost November, that means the holiday season is right around the corner. November brings colder weather, sweaters, hot chocolate, lighted fireplaces, and Thanksgiving. December brings Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, and snowy days.

This time of year is festive and made for families, but what happens when your spouse is deployed? What do you do when Thanksgiving this year is just you and your three-year-old, while your husband is serving overseas? How do you get excited about Christmas when you know the whole day you will be missing the love of your life? How do you get through the holidays when all you want to do is spend your first Christmas together, but you can’t because they are away on the other side of the world?

Here are ten tips for a military spouse getting ready to go through this holiday season with a deployed spouse:

1. Decorate like you normally would

Set up the tree, put out your decorations, and get your home looking like you usually do during this time of year. Just because your spouse is gone, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t decorate. You might even want to buy a few new decorations this season. Keeping your home festive will help with your mood, even if you are missing your spouse.

2. Focus on your daily work

Whether you work outside the home, work from home, or stay at home with the kids, focus on what you have to do each day. Don’t slack off on what you need to be doing. Focusing on your work will keep you busy and allow time to pass.

3. Plan to Facetime

Facetime or Skype as often as you can during this time of year. Even if you only chat for a few minutes. Seeing one another or getting excited about the holidays together can help your mood.

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

4. Send an amazing holiday package

Put together an amazing holiday care package for your spouse. Include some Christmas treats or anything you know they would love. You can fill a stocking, make baked goods, or just include some of their favorite items to help them celebrate the holidays, even when they are away from home.

5. Volunteer

If you can, spend time volunteering during this time of year. A lot of organizations are in need of helpers this time of year. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen, work to bring gifts to those who can’t afford them, or just be there to step in within your community. Giving back is a way to get the focus off of what you are missing and to help others.

6. Spend it with family

If you can, plan a trip back home. No, it will not be the same since your spouse is deployed but it can still be a fun holiday. Your kids can be around family and see what Christmas was like for your growing up.

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

7. Spend it with friends

If you can’t go home, find some friends in a similar boat as you are. Make plans to hang out during Thanksgiving or Christmas. You don’t have to spend all of Christmas day together but coming together on that day for a meal or even dessert can be good for all of you.

8. Open presents over Skype

If your spouse is deployed over Christmas or Hanukkah, you can film or Facetime/Skype while you are opening presents. This can be a way to bring in your deployed spouse to the day. One option is to set up your video camera to record the whole thing. This is nice when you have young children and your spouse still wants to see the joy of Christmas as they open their gifts.

9. Let the kids help

Let your kids help you decorate. Have them put the ornaments on the tree or come up with a different holiday theme. If you know they won’t want to eat a traditional meal, do something different. You can do whatever you want to have those special memories with your kids.

10. Celebrate early, or late

As military families, sometimes you will need to celebrate early or late. If they are going to deploy in November or December, celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas early. Do everything you would typically do, but on a different day. That way when the actual holiday rolls around you know that you were able to celebrate together anyway.

Remember, if they are gone this holiday season, they will probably be home the next. Try not to think they are missing a huge part of life. It might feel like they are at the moment, but in the grand scheme of things, it is simply one year.

You can still have a fantastic holiday season, even if you are missing them. What tips do you have for surviving the holiday season without your spouse?

Super Fun Things You Can Do At Fort Campbell This Holiday Season

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Super Fun Things You Can Do At Fort Campbell This Holiday SeasonSuper Fun Things You Can Do At Fort Campbell This Holiday Season

We have been in the Fort Campbell area for almost eight years now. While we have been here so long because my husband is in the National Guard now, others tend to stick around for a while too. Over the years I have been able to see how this area has grown and every year they seem to add something new.

This winter there have been quite a few things we have done in the area or want to do. So whether you are already here or planning to PCS to Fort Campbell soon, here are some super fun things you can do at Fort Campbell this holiday season.

Go ice skating in downtown Clarksville

There is a brand new ice skating rink in Downtown Clarksville. For $10 a person, you can rent some skates and be on the ice for an hour and 15 minutes. They play Christmas music, and you can kinda believe you are in your own Christmas movie. Here is the holiday schedule and more information.

See the lighted path at Christmas on the Cumberland

If you and your family like lights, Christmas on the Cumberland is a treat. You will be able to walk along the riverfront and check out the displays with one million lights. The display will be up until January 3rd. Here is more information about Christmas on the Cumberland.

Christmas on the cumberland

See the lights at the Speedway

At the Speedway, you can drive the mile course and see one million lights from the comfort of your car. Cost is $25 per carload, and the lights will be up through New Year’s Day. Here is more information about this display.

Visit ICE in Nashville

Just about an hour away you can visit Nashville and see what they have to offer for the holidays. One popular event is ICE featuring a Charlie Brown Christmas at the Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center. You can save 20% on tickets by using promo code HERO when booking online for ICE as well as for Cirque Dreams Holidaze and the Diamond Rio Holiday & Hits Dinner Show. ICE is a walkthrough holiday attraction kept at 9 degrees with two million pounds of colorful ice sculptures and four two-story tall ice slides.

Super Fun Things You Can Do At Fort Campbell This Holiday SeasonVisit Santa at the PX

Santa will be at the PX mall until December 23rd. You can get your picture taken, and I have found that overall the wait is less than if you go to the mall in Clarksville. You can also head to Nashville and go to Bass Pro Shops to get a free photo with Santa although there always seems to be a long wait for that one.

What are your favorite things to around Fort Campbell during the winter? Any hidden gems?

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

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5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

I live precisely 1,996.1 miles from my family in California. Going home for Christmas doesn’t happen very often, in fact, the last time it did was 2007, ten years ago. Since then, we have spent every Christmas in our own home. My boys are so used to being in our own home for Christmas that I think it would be weird for them to be somewhere else on Christmas day.

I do hope that sometime in the future, going home for Christmas is something we can do. With my husband’s work schedule, the cost of plane tickets and all of that, traveling over the holidays just doesn’t work out.

A lot of military families are in the same boat. Being stationed on the other side of the country or even across the ocean from your family makes it hard to go home for Christmas. When you are on a budget, you look for other times of year to go home when the tickets are not quite as expensive.

Every year I am happy we have our own little Christmas, but at the same time, I get sad about not spending the day with our families. I get homesick on Christmas Day and wish we could do things differently.

However, I don’t want to spend the whole season being upset about it. I look at the benefits of not going home for the holidays, and I embrace them.

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

If you are sad about not going home for Christmas this year, here are five benefits of not going home for Christmas:

1. Make your traditions

When you don’t go home for Christmas, you can create your traditions and basically do what you want. You are in a lot more control about what happens over the holidays. You can open gifts on Christmas Eve, cook what you want, and celebrate the day or days, however is best for your own family.

2. You can invite people to your home

By staying home, you can invite family to your own home for Christmas. If you like hosting, this could be ideal. You can be the home where everyone goes on Christmas day.

3. Your kids wake up Christmas day in their own house

I love that my kids get to wake up in their own home on Christmas day. They will always remember that. I will too. They can get up as they want, wake us up a little too early, and we can open presents as a family in our pj’s.

5 Benefits of Not Going Home For Christmas

4. Spend time with friends

If you have friends that didn’t go home for Christmas too, you can make plans to see them too. You can plan a dessert or even part of Christmas dinner together. If your spouse is deployed, you can get together with other spouses who also have a deployed spouse this holiday season. These other spouses will understand what you are going through this year.

5. Explore the traditions of your duty station

Whether you are stationed in Kentucky, New York, or Germany, explore what is going on in your local community. They could have traditions you don’t have at home. While a warm break from colder weather would be nice, I love that it could snow on Christmas here, even if it rarely does. That wasn’t something that could ever happen growing up, and my inner child gets excited about the possibility of a white Christmas.

If you are stationed overseas during the holidays, you could be in for a big treat. Learn about the different traditions from your host country and take some back with you when you move back to the US. Visit the Christmas markets, go to a Christmas Luau, and enjoy what your current country does for the holidays.

Christmas is a magical time, and just because you can’t go home for Christmas, that doesn’t mean you can’t make your own memories where you are now.

Do you typically go home for the holidays or do you like celebrating right where you are?

6 Tips for a Simpler Holiday Season When Your Spouse is Away

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6 Tips for a Simpler Holiday Season When Your Spouse is Away

6 Tips for a Simpler Holiday Season When Your Spouse is Away

Tis the season to be busy, really busy. And while busy is good when your spouse is away, you don’t want to overdo things. I know for myself, I hate that overwhelmed feeling that comes from being too busy. Stepping back a little and changing things up can help you have a better holiday season without your spouse by your side.

Here are six tips for a simpler holiday season when your spouse is away:

1. Do what is important to your kids and family

It can be easy to feel like you need to do what everyone else is doing for the holidays, but you don’t. Do what works for you and your family and what you can handle. Do not feel guilty about the rest of it.

6 Tips for a Simpler Holiday Season When Your Spouse is Away

2. Don’t feel like you have to travel

If the thought of taking you and your three kids across the country for the holidays is too overwhelming, don’t feel like you have to do so. Ask people to come to you or have a smaller Christmas in your own home. Traveling during the holidays can be hectic anyway so don’t feel guilty if you don’t feel like you are up for the challenge this year. You can always plan a trip for sometime after your spouse gets home.

3. Cook what you will eat

Did your mom always make a green bean casserole and although you never like it very much, you feel the need to make it for your own holiday meal? Well, don’t. Only make what you and your kids will eat. If you are having people over, find out what their favorite foods are. Don’t just make something because you always have. Cut down your grocery list and stick to what you love.

6 Tips for a Simpler Holiday Season When Your Spouse is Away

4. Go out to eat

If you feel like you don’t even want to cook for the holidays, go out to eat instead. We have even had meals at the DEFAC. Not the best food but hey, we didn’t have to cook. You can also order meals from places like Cracker Barral and Kroger.

5. Start shopping ahead of time

Start your Christmas shopping ahead of time and don’t forget about shipping dates overseas. If you and your spouse agree, why not postpone some of the holidays until when they get back? You could send a fun holiday package and then open bigger gifts together later. Look for sales and don’t forget about Black Friday.

6. Have your kids help

If your kids are old enough, have them help. Ask them to put the ornaments on the tree, help with other decorations, or even with shopping for extended family members. Your kids can step in a little bit, so not everything falls on you.

While going through the holidays without your spouse is frustrating, making the holidays a bit simpler can help. In the end, make fun plans for you and your kids and don’t stress about the small stuff. You can still have an enjoyable holiday, even if your spouse is overseas or across the country because of the military.

For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over ChristmasFor the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas…

Christmas music on the radio, trees going up, presents being bought and travel arrangements being finalized. December is almost here, Christmas is right around the corner. This is a great time of year, right?

For the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, this time of year is one to be gotten through. One to be survived. The rest of the world can be excited but for this military spouse, Christmas is not going to be Christmas this year.

Her husband, the father of her children will not be home. He will be in a war zone.

She won’t be wrapping gifts with him and playing Santa together. He won’t be able to sit with her at the Christmas Eve service or watch as their kids open their gifts. He won’t be sitting at the table eating ham and he won’t be able to build snowmen in the backyard on Christmas afternoon.

I have been this spouse and it isn’t fun. Being without your spouse on Christmas can be so very difficult. You are always missing them but there is something about Christmas that brings people together. There are movies made about this. About someone rushing home and making it right before Santa flies by on his sleigh. 

For the military spouse going through a deployment, Christmas might just be a regular old day, one in which it feels as if the rest of the world is happy and rejoicing and that they clearly are not. 

There are things a military spouse can do to make Christmas a little better during a deployment. They can celebrate early or even late when their spouse will be home. They can videotape the gift opening. They can go home and be with family but that isn’t always an option.

They can plan a meal with a friend which helps them stay busy and allows them to make memories with friends they will always consider family. They can fill their calendars with every holiday activity their community provides. They can remember that next year their spouse will be with them and that someday they will be there for every Christmas.

The military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas can do all of these things to make the season a little better…

But when all the gifts are unwrapped, when the turkey has been eaten and the children are asleep after a fun day, she will shed a tear for the memories her sweet husband didn’t get to share with them that year, for the sadness she knew her kids felt and for the hope that after the holiday season is over, the countdown will speed up and that homecoming will be upon her, the day her husband will be home.

So if you are the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, know that you are not alone.

Know that this too will pass. Know that you are stronger than you think. Know that your holiday might look a little different than it did in the past. Know that it is going to be okay. Know that you are being prayed for and that people do think and care about you.

It’s going to be okay military spouse, it really is. You might shed too many tears on Christmas day. You might wonder why your spouse has to be away when other spouses never have to go. You might not want to celebrate the holiday at all.

But whatever you do, however you celebrate, know that it is going to be okay and that although being without your spouse on Christmas is going to be difficult, you will get through this. That as the new year starts you will look ahead and see that homecoming date in your future and know that deployments do end. Your spouse will be back with you and that you will be able to make memories with them again soon.

Missing someone is not about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you have talked…it is about that very moment when you are doing something and wishing they were there with you.
—Anonymous