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life in the military

Dear Army, Don’t Cut Family Programs, Love Military Spouses

September 15, 2016 by Julie Leave a Comment

Dear Army, Don't Cut Family Programs, Love Military Spouses

Dear Army, Don’t Cut Family Programs, Love Military Spouses

Last week I saw an article about how the Army will be looking at cutting family programs at Military.com. I understand the need for some budget cuts. I get that spending too much isn’t a good idea sometimes. But cutting family programs is not a good solution. There has to be other places where we can save money. There has to be another way instead of cutting programs that benefit military spouses and military families. 

From the time I first became a military spouse, I have used military programs like MWR, PWOC, MOPS, Childcare and other programs that have been put on by organizations on post. These programs are important, especially for the new Army spouse that is feeling a little lost or for the spouse of a deployed soldier who just wants to find things to do with their children.

I hate the thought that family programs could be cut.

So that future generations of Army spouses will not be able to have access to them or to get that little extra care that they need.

I would hate to think that a new military spouse would arrive at a new duty station and not find ways to get connected. That she or he would feel like the military doesn’t care about them or wants to support them.

Some will say that because the wars are “wrapping up,” we don’t need as much family support. The truth is, soldiers and other branches of the military are still deploying. They are still leaving their families for months at a time and they still need extra support to get through deployments, through pcsing or anything else military life brings.

As long as we have a military and as long as they are doing their jobs, we will always have families that need that support.

So why should the Army keep family programs? Why are they valuable? Can’t spouses just get together with friends and get through the hardships of military life that way?

The main reason is that these family programs support the spouse and family of the service member and military families need as much support as possible. Yes, a nice get together with friends is a great way to connect with others but not everyone can do that. The Army needs programs where people can come together, meet others and find ways to support one another through the programs that are offered.

Not only are these programs a way to make friends but they allow the military spouse to make friends, find volunteer positions and can bring the whole military community together.

Children benefit from the activities that MWR and other organizations put on too. From egg hunts to Halloween fun. From free backpacks to free concerts.

To the service member, knowing their family is being taken care of is very important. They have a lot of work to do, both in the United States and overseas. Whether it is a deployment to Iraq or a school in Washington DC.

If we want a strong military, we need to support the families of the military.

When my husband was deployed for the 2nd time in 2009, I found PWOC to be my weekly place to get grounded and connect with other spouses. In 2013, when he was deployed to Afghanistan, MOPS became my go-to and within those meetings, I was able to connect with other spouses and know that I was not alone in what I was going through.

I have been to countless MWR programs put on in Germany and Ft. Campbell. I have heard other spouses talk about what these programs have meant and have done for them over the years.

Please don’t cut family programs. Find another way. The military spouses need them. We need them. The service member needs them. Our country needs them.

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: life in the military, military families, military life

23 Memes That Explain What Going Through A Deployment is Really Like

September 1, 2016 by Julie 2 Comments

23 Memes That Explain What Going Through A Deployment is Really Like

23 Memes That Explain What Going Through A Deployment is Really Like

Deployments come, deployments go.

Through having to say goodbye, to the long and lonely nights, to planning for that homecoming day.

What better way to explain how a deployment really is then a meme…

Military Deployment Memes

Saying goodbye is never easy and you never truly get used to doing so. Saying goodbye is a part of military life and deployments will happen often. 

military deployment memes

A deployment is a big lemon in your life. Now go find some limes and make a margarita 🙂

military deployment memes

They truly do. The day the deployment ends and you have your spouse back in your arms again.

 

Military Deployment Memes

You really don’t. When you are together, you will truly appreciate the time you have with one another. 

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Anyone who has been through a deployment has felt the deployment ache. It’s not a good feeling but the ache comes with being away from the person you love.

 

Military Deployment Memes

During my deployments, knowing that this was just a difficult time for us and that everyone has difficult times made the time apart a little easier. 

Military Deployment Memes

The weekends are so different depending on if they are home or not. 

Military Deployment Memes

You can’t talk about deployment without talking about OPSEC. Know what OPSEC and PERSEC are. You don’t want to be the reason a flight gets delayed or something else that could harm someone in the military. 

Military Deployment Memes

As you go through your deployment, you will notice that you will go through different stages. Here are the 4 stages that I usually went through. 

Military Deployment Memes

Yep! Deployments can make or break you. They will bring you down but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back up. And they will make you a stronger person through it all. 

Military Deployment Memes

Your friends might all handle separations differently. That’s okay. We are all on our own journey. We might handle deployments in a different way. Never judge someone because of that. 

Military Deployment Memes

Yes! Cereal for dinner is totally fine. Early bedtimes are a must! 

Military Deployment Memes

Exactly! There has to be trust! Has to be! 

Military Deployment Memes

One good thing about deployments is they make you feel like you are dating again. As you wait for your spouse to return home, you can’t help but get a little nervous and giddy.

Military Deployment Memes

I don’t think we are special. I think this life has made us have to become stronger people. And that is a good thing. 

Military Deployment Memes

I have been through long deployments, I have been through short deployments. None of them are easy and time away is time away. 

Military Deployment Memes

You can’t bring me down deployment. Even though you are trying…

Military Deployment Memes

The dates change all the time. And waiting for them is hard. 

Military Deployment Memes

Yep! Sounds like a typical night during a deployment.

Military Deployment Memes

On deployments, you will have good days and bad days. Days where you feel you got this and days when you don’t. 

Military Deployment Memes

There is a lot you can do to get you to a place of peace, even during a deployment.

Military Deployment Memes

It’s hard when it seems like the military is taking so much of your spouse’s time, it is even worse during deployments. Just remember, you are first in their heart.

Military Deployment MemesAnd at the end of it all, you just want that homecoming day. You wait and you wait. And finally one day you get it. And although dates might change, the end is in site and the deployment will be over soon.

Are you going through a deployment right now?

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Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: deployments, life in the military, military life

Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment

July 27, 2015 by Julie 14 Comments

Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment!

Deployment! I know I talk about deployment quite a bit on this blog. Deployments have been such a part of my life for so long, I have a lot to share. As time goes by, I get further away from my deployments but they still will always stick with me.

I have been thinking about what I would need if I was a new Military spouse getting ready for her first deployment. I know I would need encouragement, I would need to know it was going to be okay, and I think some sort of guide would help.

Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment

I remember reading in a magazine years ago that the first 30 days of a breakup are the hardest. This followed with an article about what to do each day to move ahead. A deployment is like a breakup in some ways. Although it is one that doesn’t last forever. You go through a lot of similar feelings of loss and sadness. Of wondering if there was a way your spouse didn’t have to get deployed and then eventually coming to some type of acceptance.

So here we go…

Your guide to the first 30 days of deployment.

Day 1 will be the day they leave, usually, it has been the morning for us so I did have a full day to get through before bedtime. If your spouse deploys at night, you can call the next day Day 1.

Day 1- Breathe. Relax. Get your kids together and tell them that you are all going to get through this. That you are there for them and you will make it through.

Day 2- Come up with a plan. A list of things you will do when your spouse is gone. Work on your hobbies? Redo the kitchen? Come up with at least 10 different projects you can focus on.

Day 3- Make a list of 5 friends you can call. When you want to get together with someone. Or if you really need something. Don’t be afraid to ask for help during the deployment.

Day 4- Buy some pretty stationary to write love letters on. You will be glad you did.

Day 5- Call your mom and cry your eyes out. If you don’t have a good relationship with her, call your Mother-In-Law, your sister or someone you can cry to. It’s okay to cry about this.

Day 6- Go get some ice cream or a yummy treat. You need it. You have made it almost a week.

Day 7- Find a new book to read. Go to the library and pick out a few. Ask your friends for suggestions.

Day 8– Start your first care package. Make it a themed one. Put all his favorite items in there.

Day 9- Start on your project list if you haven’t already. Complete at least one of them. Want to paint something? Pick a day you will do that, buy the paint and get started.

Day 10- Plan to have people over. Don’t know anyone in town? See if you can attend an event to meet people.

Day 11- Take your kids somewhere you have never been before. Maybe it is a new park. Maybe it is a new mall. Do something you haven’t done in the past. And take pictures.

Day 12– Write in your journal. Get it all out. Don’t have one? Go buy something pretty and start using it. You will be glad you did.

Day 13- Make a nice dinner. No cereal tonight. You are almost two weeks in. You got this.

Day 14- Plan a trip during the deployment. Make plans to visit home. If you can’t afford to travel, try a day trip. Put something on the calendar to look forward to.

Day 15- Try to attend an FRG meeting. Find out when the next one is and put it on the calendar. They might get a bad rap sometimes but they also can be a good way to connect.

Day 16- Start another one of your projects. Make plans to get it done.

Day 17- Binge watch a show. It’s okay. If you can’t binge watch, find time to watch a few episodes. Take your mind off the stresses of the last few weeks.

Day 18- Buy some bubble bath and enjoy. Grab your book and soak for a bit. You might have to wait until the kids are in bed but it will be worth it.

Day 19- Send another love letter. Make it silly. Spray some of your perfume. Why not?

Day 20- Talk to your spouse about an after deployment trip. Just throw out some ideas. You will want to go somewhere if only for a day or two.

Day 21- Invite a friend out for coffee even if you don’t feel like it. Talking with others will be good for you. It will be nice to get out and enjoy some girl time.

Day 22- Buy a new piece of clothing. On a tight budget? Hit the thrift stores. Just find something new for you.

Day 23- Join a new group. Heard of a book club you always wanted to try? Send an email and find out more details. Connecting with others will really help the time go by faster.

Day 24- Plan a potluck to celebrate one month down. Invite other spouses going through a deployment. It might seem like a little thing but making it through that first month is a big deal.

Day 25- Call his mom. She might be worried. She might be lonely. It will be good to hear from you. You are the two people in the world that miss that man more than anyone else.

Day 26- Start exercising every day if you don’t already do this. It is a great stress reliever.

Day 27- Plan another package. Ask your spouse what they need.

Day 28- Start a blog. Blogging during a deployment can be a great way to get things out. Don’t forget about OPSEC.

Day 29- Take your camera out for a photo walk. Doesn’t matter what kind of camera. It will do your heart good to get out there and take some new pictures.

Day 30- Celebrate the fact that you are now 30 days in. You are on your way. You got this deployment! You are making it, even if it is just a day at a time.

Going through a deployment right now? I hope this helps a bit!

Just know that you are not alone and a lot of us Military spouses have been through it before.

Want a Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

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Filed Under: Deployment, Military Life Tagged With: army wife, Deployment, life in the military, military spouse, surviving deployment

What To Do When Faced With A Really Bad Deployment

December 4, 2014 by Julie 4 Comments

 

What To Do When Faced With A Really Bad Deployment

There is never such a thing as a good deployment…click here for an updated version of this post!

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Filed Under: Deployment, Military Life Tagged With: deployments, life in the military, military life

How Does The Government Shutdown Affect Americans

October 2, 2013 by Julie 1 Comment

Today’s post for Everyone Serves for Blue Star Families will be about the Shutdown.

Well it happened. The government shutdown. And while Active Duty Military will still get paid, a lot of other people won’t.

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A lot of things are happening and it is frustrating to watch. I hate that the government has shutdown. I personally believe it didn’t have to be this way. I just hope it doesn’t last long and is resolved quickly.

The fact is this shutdown is hurting a lot of Americans. These same Americans are the ones that voted for the people who have caused this. I get so frustrated thinking about this. I am not sure if congress thinks they are helping or what. They are not.

So how is the shutdown affecting people? I asked this question on my personal Facebook page as well as my blog page and my Twitter account.

This is how the Government shutting down is hurting the American people…

* Many who work for the government are being asked to stay home. They will not be paid. This is especially difficult when that person is making most of the money for the family.

* WIC is in danger of running out of funds. I know a lot of people who depend on WIC as a part of their monthly budget.

*
* Monuments in Washington DC have been closed. People who have planned trips to National parks and other Federal places are not able to go on.

* Combat pay will be delayed. That extra money we can use for paying off debt, not going to see it again until this is all over.

* Drill has been or might be cancelled for some Reserve/National Guard. What this means is the extra money the family is counting out will not be earned this month.

* Commissaries will be closed. While I don’t personally feel it is the end of the world here as we do have a lot of other grocery stores in the area, I really feel for people in places like Hawaii or those that will have to pay a lot more to just buy regular groceries.

There is more that could be added to this list and the longer this goes on, the worse it is going to get. I really don’t understand why those in power can’t see how badly this is and will hurt Americans. It doesn’t make any sense to me. On a personal level I am pretty annoyed that my husband will not be getting his combat pay but I know others are in a lot more trouble. Many will be going without their regular paychecks. Many will have to figure out a different way to get by. It is such a frustrating situation and I hate that this is happening.

How have you personally been affected by the government shutdown?

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

 

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: life in the military, military life

10 Things I Have Learned About Marriage During The Last 10 Years

May 7, 2012 by Julie 12 Comments

10 things I have learned about marriage the last 10 years

In August, my husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage! 10 whole years, a decade! We were 10 years younger when we decided we wanted to spend our lives together. We have been through a lot of things I would never have imagined. We have spent about 3 years of those 10 apart. That seriously breaks my heart but at least it wasn’t three years in a row. We have both grown and changed over the years. I can now look at my husband and instead of saying, “I want to grow old with you” I can say, “I love growing old with you.” Because let’s face it, when I look at our wedding pictures I see two younger versions of ourselves and it is very obvious that time has passed and that we are in the process of growing old together.

So what have I learned about marriage the last 10 years?

1) What works for one couple might not work for another. You hear a lot of advice about what a marriage should look like or what you should do about x,y or z. From TVs in your room to how often you go on a date! It’s nice to get advice about marriage but it might not all apply and that is okay.

2) Deployments can make a marriage stronger. I believe this can happen because it happened to us. I feel very lucky for this because I know how hard deployments can be on marriages. I am just thankful that deployments have not pushed us apart but made us stronger.

3) Kids change your marriage. They do. From what you do on a daily basis to how you view your spouse. When we had kids I got to see my husband in a new “Daddy” role. He gets to see me as a “Mommy.” It is different from our “husband” and “wife” roles.

4) Laughing together is good. My husband loves to make me laugh. Even when I am mad he can seem to make me smile. It’s good for us.

5) Let the little things go. I can find myself getting frustrated about the littlest things but I have learned it is best just to let them go.

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

6) I can do things without him. When he is gone, I can function. I can my kids and I halfway around the world without him. I can give birth without him. I can do a lot on my own. Doesn’t mean I like to do things this way, but I can.

7) Sometimes life gets really really hard. Sometimes it just isn’t the way I would have planned it. That can be so frustrating but in the end, I am glad we have each other to get through it.

8 ) When you were raised differently you will see the world differently and that might be challenging. We were both raised by parents who loved us and loved God very much but the overall our childhoods were very different and we sometimes see things very differently. This can be frustrating but we just have to take a step back and realize where the other person is coming from.

9) I made the right choice. Way back in 2001 when I said yes to marry this man, I made the right choice. He is the right one for me and I am the right one for him.

10) Trust goes a very long way. We both trust each other. I trust him, he trusts me. I can’t imagine going through what we have been through without it.

Family

How long have you been married? What have you learned in that time?

 

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Filed Under: Marriage, Military Children, Military Life Tagged With: army wife, army wife blog, life in the military, marriage, military life

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been a military spouse for 16 years!

My husband of 19 years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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