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Military Family

When Military Life is New

January 5, 2023 by Julie Leave a Comment

When Military Life is New

When military life is new, everything thing seems so strange.

You learn quickly that nothing really makes sense the way you think it should make sense. You learn quickly that patience is going to be needed. You learn quickly that some days are going to get you pretty frustrated and there will be nothing you can do about the situation but wait.

And there will be a lot of waiting…

Waiting on orders. Waiting on people. Waiting for something good to actually happen.

There will be a lot of wondering…

Wondering where you will live. Wondering what a deployment will be like. Wondering if this new life will be as difficult as you think it might be.

As you join this new community, you can’t help but meet new people, from all over the country, even from different parts of the world.

You will make friends with some of them, and some of those friends will turn into family, as you get through deployments and separations together, making memories along the way.

You will learn new skills, and apply them to new situations. You will figure out how to get a house ready for the movers with only two-weeks notice. You will figure out how to pull everything together when at first you didn’t think you could.

When military life is new, you can get pretty worried about deployments.

Before your first one, you might assume that being away from your significant other is too difficult. You might assume that you are not strong enough to get through the time away. But you will find that you are strong enough and that you can do hard things, even things you didn’t think were possible.

There will be homecomings and celebrations. You will sometimes think about how different your life is now, and all the amazing experiences you have gained from it. There will be good days and bad ones.

And as one deployment comes to an end, you will feel the confidence that you can do anything that comes your way. There might be bumps in the road, but you will get creative and figure out how to best go forward.

When military life is new, unknown words can confuse you.

You might not know the MWR from the DFAC, but you will soon figure these military acronyms out. At the same time, after 15 years you might hear phrases and still don’t know what they mean. This is all a part of this life.

You will figure out the right times to go to the Commissary, and how to tip the baggers. You will figure out if the PX is worth shopping at, and what events are worth going to. You will learn about your FRG and decide how much you want to be a part of that.

You will learn about OPSEC and PERSEC and TRICARE. You will figure out what to say and what not to say. What you put out there on social media, especially about a deployment matters.

When military life is new, you will daydream about going off to Europe, Hawaii, and Japan.

You will soon learn that you might end up in Texas, Alabama, and the desert of California. There really are so many different options for a military career. And you don’t always get a say in the matter.

And wherever you PCS to, you will figure out how to bloom where you are stationed, and find the good in a place you might not want to be. You will get to explore places you never thought you would ever go. You will have to leave your comfort zone, but find amazing things when you do.

And when it comes time to leave, to PCS somewhere new, you might not want to go. You might want to stay forever. But you know this isn’t possible and you know it will be time to move on.

When military life is new, you will soon learn how much this military life will surprise you.

From the amazing friends that you will meet!

To the places you will get to go!

To the love you will feel at every homecoming, and all the little moments this life brings.

If you are new to this life, welcome. Being a military spouse can be such a wonderful thing. While some days will be harder than others, know that you have joined an amazing community. Know that you have people to walk this life with, no matter what this life brings.

How long have you been a military spouse?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Military Family, military life, military spouse

Junior-Enlisted Service Members and Their Families Heading Home for the Holidays Through Jack Daniel’s and the Armed Services YMCA’s “Operation Ride Home”

November 17, 2022 by Julie Leave a Comment

More Than 10,000 Individuals Have Traveled From Their Military Bases
to See Loved Ones Across the County Through the Program Since 2011

The Jack Daniel Distillery and the Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) said today that nearly 2,000 junior-enlisted service members and families will be making the trip home to see loved ones this holiday season through their “Operation Ride Home” (ORH) program.

Jack Daniel’s once again kicked off this year’s campaign with a $100,000 donation — bringing its overall ORH commitment to more than $1.2 million — and is asking friends to visit operationridehome.com where they can contribute to the cause. More than $2.3 million in overall donations have provided travel funding over the past 12 years.

Since its founding in 2011, Operation Ride Home has provided financial assistance to active-duty, junior-enlisted military and their families to travel from their base of duty to homes across the country. More than 10,000 people have traveled by airplane or car through ORH. Service men and women from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard have been assisted with travel to all 50 states.

“From Alaska to Virginia, our hero junior-enlisted military and those with families will be able to leave their bases and make it home to share the warmth of the holiday season through Operation Ride Home,” said Chris Fletcher, Jack Daniel’s Master Distiller. “It is an honor and privilege to support these heroes who otherwise would not have the means to make it to see their loved ones. We hope our friends will join us to get as many of them home as we can this year.”

“Going home for the holidays is a privilege that many military families miss out on far too often due to the expense of travel, said Armed Services YMCA President and CEO, VADM Bill French, USN (Ret.). “Thanks to our terrific partnership with Jack Daniel’s, the Armed Services YMCA has removed the financial barrier for junior enlisted service members and their families. Our service members deserve to be with the ones they love the most this holiday season.”

The ASYMCA works with the various military commands in specific areas co-located with ASYMCA branches to identify and prioritize junior-enlisted service members and families most in financial need. Plane tickets and pre-paid debit cards are given to assist those traveling.

Operation Ride Home is open to active-duty E-5 and below, both single and married, who might not otherwise financially be able to travel home. The option to drive or fly is an individual decision. For additional information on eligibility and to view participating installations that qualify for travel assistance, please visit https://www.asymca.org/operation-ride-home.

###

About Jack Daniel’s:

Officially registered by the U.S. Government in 1866 and based in Lynchburg, Tenn., the Jack Daniel Distillery is the first registered distillery in the United States and is on the National Register of Historic Places. Jack Daniel’s is the maker of the world-famous Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey, Gentleman Jack Double Mellowed Tennessee Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel Tennessee Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Fire, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Apple, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Rye, Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select and Jack Daniel’s Country Cocktails. Today, Jack Daniel’s is a true global icon found in more than 170 countries around the world and is the most valuable spirits brand in the world as recognized by Interbrand.

Your friends at Jack Daniel’s remind you to drink responsibly.

Jack Daniel’s, Jack and Old No.7 are registered trademarks of Jack Daniel’s © 2022. Tennessee Whiskey, 40% alc. by vol (80 proof), Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee.

About the Armed Services YMCA:

The Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) is the oldest military support organization in the United States, founded in 1861. The ASYMCA’s mission enhances the lives of active duty junior enlisted military members and their families in spirit, mind and body through programs relevant to the unique challenges of military life. In 2021, the ASYMCA engaged nearly 130,000 individuals and delivered more than 550,000 points of service through its 12 Branches and 24 Affiliate Partners, serving 89 military installations across the U.S. To learn more about how the ASYMCA is “Strengthening Our Military Family(R)” visitwww.asymca.org.

Filed Under: Military Families Tagged With: Military Family, military life, military organizations

A Fight Against Sexual Assault On Military Children

October 25, 2021 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

A Fight Against Sexual Assault On Military Children 

By: Jusika Martinez | Website | Twitter | Facebook

Many great leaders say, “leave a community better than you found it’. But what does that really mean? Does it mean unchanged big ways? I’ve learned over my journey as a military spouse that unless you make big waves, changes don’t actually happen; this is across all of the branches and within all of our communities.

This article to you as a fellow spouse is me making an intentional wave. In hopes of making sure our communities are a little more educated and a little more aware. Aware and educated about what? Well, that some military families face crises inside our community sometimes due to other military members or their families’ actions.

Before I tell you about how I became educated in all of the rules, regulations, and oversight, I want to take you back to 2018. I was the volunteer President for our Enlisted Spouses Club. I was intertwined with many of the First Sergeants at the Air Force base we were stationed at. I helped these First Sergeants operate moments of kindness for their squadrons and prepare for seven separate memorial receptions for the 7 Airman we lost in 10 months.

My favorite part of it all was that I helped them connect to spouses within their squadron and around the base. I was also a Master Resilience Trainer creating the spouse initiative at our base. I worked remotely as a Digital Marketing Manager and freelanced for local churches in our community.

During 2018 I became weary of the isolation that remote life can create; I felt like I never left my house… just zoom call after zoom call. In August of 2018, I decided that I would find a job outside of my remote position. This meant that our then 2-year-old daughter would need full-time daycare.

Due to my daughter’s age, I had been able to balance working, volunteering with part-time care, and my active duty spouse’s help. I knew that finding a job would take some time because that local area was not keen on hiring military spouses due to the length of time spouses typically were stationed there with their active-duty members. Thankfully by November, I found a position as a graphic designer at a cause marketing agency. I was excited to be there and to start this chapter.

To follow the rules and the regulations of our military installation where I lived, I enrolled our child in a Family Childcare Home; commonly known as an FCC Home. It wasn’t the Family Childcare Home that I wanted, but the other person’s license and background check were delayed for some reason, but since it was regulated by the Air Force I thought that I could trust for care, even if it wasn’t the one I preferred.

In mid-December, while at work getting ready to pitch a marketing campaign, I received photographs taken by a third party through the FCC provider’s Facebook messenger. When I saw these photos, my stomach sank. My child was re-dressed in brand new clothing that I was unaware of, hair was redone, and she was posing with the FCC provider in her pajamas.

I took a deep breath, and I texted my spouse and showed him what I got, and he said: “no, that feeling and concern is right.” We then removed our daughter from this FCC provider and kept our daughter home to monitor her. After two weeks of watching and trying to decipher all of the signs of dysregulation, screaming, violence, needing significant reassurance, and inappropriate sexual behavior meant. We called our civilian pediatrician, who then recommended taking her to the local emergency room.

Once upon arriving at the E.R., the nurses listened, and then the local sexual assault victims advocate and police came. I repeated our concerns and where they stemmed from, the things we’re seeing, and then a medical examination happened. A few hours after arrival, we left with discharge paperwork, victim resources, and a police report number.

Since it was late, I did not read the paperwork. I just carried my kid in my arms out to my car out past the women’s ward where we brought her into the world almost three years prior. Wondering what the purpose of this visit was because it didn’t really seem to do anything except to give me the paperwork.

Why did I tell them my concerns? Why did I let them into the nightmare we had been watching and living in just to get some paperwork? Where was the immediate help in stopping the games that she was playing or the things she was doing to herself? The next day, I stopped and read the papers we were given — sexual assault by bodily force by caregiver.

Those words changed everything.

Had I known what we were going to walk through the next 24 months, I would have said “no way.” I then googled signs of sexual assault on young children. Check, check, check, check, check — how did I brush some of these off as fixable or adjustment? And wait, this doesn’t happen in our military community. Not only did our case get reported to the local police, but it was also shared with the military investigative agency because of the interagency agreement.

This is where I have to pause with just sharing what we lived because we went through a lot after our young daughter’s case was reported and it was a lot for any family to endure while dealing with such trauma. From harassment to intimidation to downright not being believed. And I was desperate to get help for our daughter and her experience.

After I was laid off a few weeks later for not being able to be at work due to trying to find our child services, I took to social media, and I received a call on my personal cell phone from the then Command Chief citing my social media post was “unsubstantiated.” Which made zero sense because we had the medical evidence and my child’s inappropriate sexual actions and the traumatic games she would play. Once I laid everything out, I was told I would get a call back. One week later, this Command Chief retired, and I never heard from Senior Leadership again.

This is where I now have to make a wave and educate you on some of the rules and regulations that I have uncovered in the last 24 months through an Inspector General complaint and multiple conversations with those above that installation leadership. Some of these educational moments were brought to us by our daughter’s Special Victim’s Council, and some were discovered after talking to other command chiefs after we left the base we were stationed at.

Throughout all of this, the word unsubstantiated stuck with me. How could we have the medical paperwork that we did, and it be unsubstantiated?

At the time we were told that for the investigative agency to open a case, they needed three things… a victim’s statement, photographs or video of it happening, and a medical examination. Since we did not know better at that time or have these three things, a case was not opened, which meant no one was investigated or charged. At that time we were just left to pick up the pieces of our child and our lives that had shattered because of what happened and the issues she was continuing to experience.

After some investigation, we found out the following items:

  1. The victim’s statement was not taken due to our child’s age which at the time was 3 years old. The investigative agency declined to interview her because of her age. We were told that the military investigative agency does not interview children under the age of 3, and in our case, their notes show that they did not contact a headquarters subject matter expert on conducting an interview on children.
  2. The photographs or video that the investigative agency told us they needed to open a case was false information.
  3. The investigative agency and special agents were not educated on how to handle child sex crimes and the notes that were taken do not describe the actual items that our child was going through.
  4. The medical examination was not believed by the investigative agency and since the local police went off the investigation that the military investigative agency did the local police found no reason to pursue an investigation due to lack of being a violent crime.
  5. The investigative agency acted out of standard operating procedures by discussing our case with military family agencies that were not involved nor would ever be involved in handling our child’s case which lead to disinvites for speaking requests from those family agencies for me.
  6. The investigative agency acted out of standard operating procedure when they told the Family Advocacy Program to stand down.

We have since asked that a curriculum on child sex crimes be built for the military investigative agency so that when they handle such crimes, they are equipped to handle them.

We also learned that our child’s case was not entered into the Family Advocacy System of Record and it was not reviewed by the Clinical Case Staff Meeting meaning a Central Registry Board (CRB) was not opened. And separately a Family Child Care Panel was not held regarding the sexual assault, only the unconsented photographs.

So, let’s take a moment to break this down. Since the Family Advocacy Program did not look into a maltreatment case reported to them it was not entered into a system called the Family Advocacy System of Record meaning that the next step of a Clinical Case Staff Meeting did not happen which means a CRB did not hear the case.

What does a CRB do and who sits on the CRB? The CRB is chaired by the vice wing commander, and membership includes the staff judge advocate, security forces, Office of Special Investigations, Family Advocacy officer, command chief master sergeant, and the member’s unit commander. The CRB hears cases of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect. There are strict guidelines and criteria for determining whether or not an allegation meets the Air Force definition for maltreatment. Once information on the case is presented, a show-of-hands vote determines whether or not a non-accidental act was committed, and if so, whether or not there was a significant impact from the act. The findings are entered into a DoD Central Registry database maintained by Brooks City-Base.

The support of the Family Advocacy Program would have meant that the case would have been heard and our daughter and we would have had the tools to handle the emotional and mental health issues our daughter was experiencing. The opening and hearing of a CRB would have potentially stopped this FCC provider from opening at another base, and it would have unlocked additional base resources for us as parents.

But it didn’t happen, because we were not believed. We eventually collected ourselves enough and got our child into therapy at the local advocacy facility that helps treat children and their families who have experienced childhood sexual abuse through a state-funded victims grant. The interview to get her into therapy itself was a feat; we had to sit through a nearly two-hour interview explaining our family makeup and all that had happened. We basically had to relive what had become our worst nightmare.

In our journey, we also learned that the Family Childcare Homes are licensed by the military branch they work under, not the local state. What does that mean for us as customers of the FCC homes? Well, when the state oversees daycares, they publicly publish the issues found upon inspections. With the FCC homes, those inspections just sit in a file in a desk on the military installation. As a parent, you will never know the issues this provider has had or were found upon inspection.

In all of this, we also realized that there isn’t a safe way to report sexual assaults on young children.

In adult cases of sexual assault in the military, there is Restricted Report and Unrestricted. For children, there is not that. There is no organization or form to start a report.

So as you can imagine you or your child’s privacy isn’t protected and in our case, it led to an extreme mishandling of our daughter’s case. For us, those who were interviewed by the military investigative agency were sharing that we came forward with a false report of sexual assault, and many in positions of authority were sharing our child’s private information about her sexual assault to their personal friends. Many did not and do not understand that no evidence is different than not enough evidence to proceed. Her Special Victims’ Counsel attempted to get this to stop and there be an understanding of this, but the leadership of the people doing it became complacent and continued to allow it to happen, leaving us unprotected.

Earlier I mentioned our Special Victims Counsel — What is a Special Victim’s Counsel? It is a program developed by the military that is a military attorney who specializes in representing victims of sexual assault, sexual misconduct, stalking, and other similar crimes. Not anyone can get an SVC. You have to go through an application system, and you are not always granted one, but our daughter was. The SVC helped us as the parents of a minor understand the rules and regulations and what we could or couldn’t do.

They helped my spouse request a humanitarian assignment because, at that time, Active Duty members could not get expedited transfers if their dependent was sexually assaulted. The request in itself was another lesson that we had to learn.

Due to our daughter’s medical needs, they turned the humanitarian assignment into an EFMP assignment.

We’ve heard of the medical EFMP issues, right? We had no idea how bad it was until we experienced it after all of the trauma that we went through. The local EFMP allowed us to PCS to another base with two possible therapists for her.

When we got there, we found out that one of the therapists they recommended saw sexual offenders, and the other didn’t exist. We ended up going through and calling 150 therapists in the “surrounding” area to find zero services. And after 5 months of searching, we ended up driving 150 miles weekly for therapy for her.

Thankfully, after ten months of a heated exchange with the local EFMP, they were able to reassign us to another base thanks to the AF & EFMP HQ because there were zero therapy services within the local area and none out of the network that Tricare could enroll.

Having this type of crisis and trauma and additional EFMP issues was a difficult season of life — it’s not one that we’ve entirely made it out of, but we’re now in a spot where we can find a sliver of clarity to understand what our child and our family has lived these last 24 months. That sliver of clarity is helping us inform you of what we’ve lived through and what the current rules and regulations are.

I know that some will say in the comments, “make a congressional complaint or “go to the Inspector General,” they will fix it. Well, we have. Our congressmen told us they couldn’t investigate this, so to use the Inspector General. At the end of May of 2019, we submitted a 13-page complaint. This complaint was later broken into two cases — one at the local level and one through the military investigative agency.

For the local level one, we waited 19 months for it to conclude; to only be told the provider took unconsented photographs and everything else was done “right”. For the military investigative agency case, we were basically told: “our hands are tied, and everything was done right.” Until I got a call after requesting the FOIA. Then we’re then told that the case notes did not match what was happening in many ways the investigative agency acted outside of the “standard operating procedures.”

Some will say, “go to a military non-profit that advocates and lobbies for change.” I have, but our situation doesn’t align with their ‘military family issues” or was viewed as “just a west coast issue, not one that is really “rampant” in our military.”

A fraction of these issues we have lived through are in the 2021 NDAA in section 549B, I know, but it isn’t enough. Because It primarily covers the tracking of these cases. “Tracking it” will only be for the families they (local leadership/FAP/the military investigative agency) deem it for. Like in our case, we had medical evidence, but the military investigative agency said they didn’t have the “items needed” to consider a case to investigate and the Family Advocacy Program stood down.

And to be honest, the tracking isn’t enough. There needs to be justice and resources for families before we fix the unemployment and underemployment issues because if our kids aren’t safe, then our careers won’t matter.

As of right now, the military investigative agencies should not be handling child sex crimes. Because not all are not educated or trained in it. Child victims and their families need to be listened to and treated without bias.

There also needs to be a vast understanding of trauma and childhood mental health needs of child victims and what type of medical needs they will have after such trauma. The families should never be blamed or accused of “making the Doctor check the sexual assault box.”

Additionally, there needs to be more regulations on these in-home FCC daycares. Right now, with how the military investigative agencies rules are written with needing video or photographs to open an investigation and these homes not being required to have video, then the military itself is establishing a very viable breeding ground for these cases. They are not offering even a sliver of possible justice, especially when we do not have parents who have been educated on the signs of sexual abuse and assault.

The bottom line though is if families aren’t believed, then tracking doesn’t matter, especially if there is no consequence for the offender or support that fully understands what trauma does to a child and what the family goes through in these types of painful crises.

If military leadership and others empathized, lived, or tried to understand the pain that comes with a traumatized child that cannot verbalize their trauma, they would never begin to think that a family would choose this road that comes after such a tragic crisis.


Which is why I have founded Operation Addi to help push forward policy and program asks for military children who are victims of sexual assault or abuse. Because our children’s safety and healing matters. You can view the current policy and program asks here.

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: military children, Military Family, Military Family Advocacy, military life

11 Reasons to Plan a Trip Home This Summer

July 5, 2018 by Julie

11 Reasons to Plan a Trip Home This Summer

As a military spouse, you probably have moved around a lot. You could be miles and miles from your home and family. You could be overseas, or across the country. You could be a two-hour drive away or a two-day drive. However far away you might be, it could be time for a visit home this summer.

11 Reasons to Plan a Trip Home This Summer

Whether your spouse is deployed and you take the kids, or they are home and luckily have some block leave time, planning a trip home for the summer can be a good idea.

Here are a few reasons why:

1. It’s been a while

If you haven’t visited home in a while, maybe now is the time to do so. You probably have family and friends that would love to see you.

2. You have school-age kids and summer works best

When your kids start school, you have less time to go on vacation with them. While you can pull them out of school sometimes, generally it is better to go on long vacation when they are out of school. That is why summer is a good idea. No one is missing any school.

3. Summers are really too long anyway

Let’s face it; summer can feel a bit long. By about the six-week mark, you might be over summer break. That is the best time to plan a trip.

11 Reasons to Plan a Trip Home This Summer

4. Grandparent time

Grandparents love to spend time with their grandchildren, but sometimes it can be harder for them to travel and see you. If you can’t get away, you could always send your older children to spend time with their grandparents during the summer. I have such special memories with my own grandparents from when we went to visit them as a child.

5. Summer at home is better weather than summer at your duty station

This isn’t true for everyone, but the summer weather in my hometown is a lot better than where we currently live. It isn’t as humid, and the bugs are not as loud. Visiting home during the summer is a nice break from the hot and humidity of the south.

6. You really miss your favorite hamburger place

It might not be a hamburger place; maybe it is a favorite pizza place or Mexican restaurant. There is just something about having a taste of home when you visit. In-and-Out, here we come.

7. More likely to see friends who have also moved out of town

You might not be the only one who moved away from home; your friends might have too. And from experience, summer is usually when they visit their families. Maybe, just maybe you will be in town at the same time and can make plans to see each other.

11 Reasons to Plan a Trip Home This Summer

8. The winters are long at your duty station, and you need a pick me up

If it snows a lot in the winter where you are stationed, and you know that once school starts in the fall, the first snowflakes won’t be far behind, a summer trip home can be the pick me up you need before the weather changes. Go home, make memories, and take them back with you for the long winter.

9. Homecooked meals

Sometimes you want a nice homecooked meal, without having to make it yourself.

10. So you can see your best friend

It could be that your best friend still lives where you grew up. And you want to see them. You want your kids to play together, and you want to go out for dinner and to catch up.

11. You hate the snow and would rather not visit when it is on the ground

Maybe you are from a colder climate, and you don’t want to visit at all during the winter. Just the thought of 20 degrees sends you under the blankets. Summer is a good time to get your vacationing time at home in.

Whatever your reasons, if you are going home this summer, have a good time. We are looking forward to our own vacation this summer too.

Filed Under: Travel Tagged With: family, Military Family, traveling

9 Ways To Save Money On A Super Tight Budget

June 15, 2018 by Julie

9 Ways To Save Money On A Super Tight Budget

There are many reasons why a military family could be on a tight budget. They could be saving for a PCS, trying to pay off debt, or trying to make their paycheck stretch a little further. There could be times during military life when you need to have a super tight budget, and times when you can spend a bit more. Whatever the reasons, there are things you can do to help you save money, not overspend, and be able to stick to your budget.

9 Ways To Save Money On A Super Tight Budget

Here are 9 ideas for saving money on a tight budget:

Eating out

Eating out will get you. We are a family of five, and sometimes even fast food is between $25-30. If you are doing this too many times a month, it can add up. If you do go out to eat, try to find coupons and use your military discount. Look for kids eat free nights, and be smart about what you order. Try to look at eating out as a treat, not an everyday thing.

This post contains referral/affiliate links!

Coupon

If you don’t coupon already, you should. There are many different ways to do so. From clipping the coupons that come in the mail, to using an app like Ibotta. You should also do your research about if the Commissary is truly cheaper than another grocery store in your area.

Meet friends for coffee

Going out to lunch or dinner with friends can sometimes cost $20-25. If you meet for coffee, you can spend less than $5 and still have a good time. And if you have kids, look for coffee shops by a playground. We have a few here at Fort Campbell that have been lifesavers for me over the years.

Shop thrift stores

Thrift stores can be fantastic places for finding deals. Whether it is clothes that you know your kids are going to grow out of in less than a year or replacement dishes for your kitchen. Some thrift stores have days were specific items are on sale or where they offer certain discounts. Make sure to check to see if you have an on post thrift store too.

9 Ways To Save Money On A Super Tight Budget

Find free events

Almost every community is going to have something free for you to do every weekend. You just have to look for what they are. On Facebook, you can search for events by city, topic, and date. If you want to do something fun with your family, look and see what is going on and what you might want to do. You can have a lot of fun at free events and can save money by going to them.

Cut your bills

Do you have cable? Cut it and get Netflix. Using too much data? Get a smaller package and save on your cell phone bill. There are different ways you can get your current bills a little lower. Even $50-100 a month can make a difference.

Say no

Saying no is powerful. You don’t have to say yes to everything. I know this is hard for some but if you can say no sometimes you will save yourself some stress and some money. If someone invites you and your kids out to a movie and you didn’t want to see it, say no. You could invite the friends over for a playdate instead. Don’t feel like you have to say yes to everything, especially when the more you say yes to the more money you will spend.

9 Ways To Save Money On A Super Tight Budget

DIY vs hiring someone

If you can do a DIY project instead of hiring someone, do it. There is a lot of advice and ideas out there for learning how to do things around your home. Check out YouTube and Pinterest for ideas.

Use your library

With a good library, you never really have to buy books. Not only can you get paperback and hardback books, but you can also get Kindle and Audiobooks using apps like the Overdrive app. Check with your library to see what they offer. In addition to books, your library might have a lot of community events going on such as movie nights, or even classes.

What creative ways have you been able to cut back on your spending and save money when you are on a tighter budget?

Filed Under: Military Life, Money Tagged With: budget, Military Family, money

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

April 3, 2018 by Julie

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

I had exactly 13 months of raising children before we became a military family. When my husband joined the military in 2005, our oldest son was only a little over a year. All the parenting I have done after that has been within military life and culture, at least to some extent.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

April is the month of the military child, here are 16 ways to know that you are raising children in a military family:

1. None of your children were born in the same place!

One in California, one in Tennessee, one in Germany, what’s so weird about that?

2. You have photos of your children in actual castles, one that is right down the street.

You still can’t get over that you used to live in a house down the street from a castle. Thank you overseas orders.

3. You have a kid-size pair of ACUs somewhere in your home.

You bought them when your husband first joined, and now all your kids have worn them for Halloween.

4. You can’t totally remember if your senior in high school started kindergarten when you were stationed at Fort Riley or if that happened after you moved to Fort Campbell.

Your memory is a little fuzzy back then, and it could have been either place really.

5. They are the cousins that family back home doesn’t quite know as well as the ones that live right there.

Sadly, this can happen because you just can’t seem to get orders for anywhere close to home.

6. Spending time with extended family is always so special because it doesn’t get to happen as often as you would like.

Yes, yes it is.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

7. Turning 10 is an exciting day, your kids get their very own ID.

And make sure to always have it with you, in case you need it.

8. Your kids know what it is like to be the new boy or girl in class.

Being the new kid is never easy, but in some cases, they are not the only one living in a military town.

9. They also know what it is like to spend a few years in England and then spend a few years in Hawaii.

Or maybe it is more like a few years in Texas and then a few in Alaska. Military kids get to live in different places, and that can make for a pretty fantastic childhood.

10. Your children know what it means when mom gets a little teary and there seem to be more military bags around the house.

Children figure it out, and they know the signs of an upcoming deployment.

11. You have had to reassure a child that they will see their Dad soon, even though you know soon is in four months.

And part of your worries that they might never come back, but you never share that worry with your kids.

12. You have cursed out a bad internet connection because it is your son’s birthday and they wanted to share it with mom across the miles.

That is the worst; kids don’t always understand that it is the connection that is the problem, and not that their mom or dad doesn’t want to talk with them.

13. You have so many Daddy Dolls around the house that they could start their own preschool.

You get them before every deployment, and even sometimes in between.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

14. Your children use pencils to do homework with USAA, NavyFed, and MWR on them.

You also get these free at every event or fair you have been to in the last five years. But hey, you never run out of these important homework tools.

15. You had at least one of your children during a deployment and thought you were pretty amazing for doing that without your spouse by your side.

Giving birth without your spouse isn’t easy, but we military spouses know doing so could be apart of the deal.

16. You know this life is difficult sometimes, but you also know there are so many amazing things that your kids will get to experience because of raising kids in a military family.

Some days, being a military family can be so hard, but that doesn’t mean military life is without its benefits. Serving your country means being apart of something important. And when you look back in the years to come, you will see how much your family has gained from being apart of the military community.

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: Military Community, Military Family, military kids

10 Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

March 29, 2018 by Julie

10 Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

10 Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Did you know that April is the month of the military child? A time to reflect on and appreciate our young military “brats” and all they have to deal with. A time to think about how they conquer the battles and disappointments that come with military life. A time to remember all the fun memories you have made with them through the years, simply because one of their parents is a service member.

Here are 10 memes for the military spouse with children. All about raising the next generation through the hurdles of military life:

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

No matter how the deployment goes, watching your kids run into the arms of your spouse at homecoming will melt your heart!

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

PCSing can be stressful for the kids too. Remember that and work through their frustrations. Let them know they can depend on you even if the rest of their world is changing around them.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

What works for one child might not work for another. Figure out what will help your child through a deployment based on what they need and what will work best for them.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Solo parenting isn’t easy, and it can wear you down. Do what you can to take care of yourself so you can be the best mom or dad you can be for your kids when your spouse is deployed.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Don’t be afraid to get out there and make memories together. You can then share them with the deployed parent.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Cereal for dinner, totally okay!

Yep, you might not even know what country you will be in.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Yes! So true! Mine were born in three different places, including two different countries.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

This part of military life sucks. Having to comfort a child that simply doesn’t understand why their mom or dad can’t be there.

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

What else does a military spouse with children want? A free nanny of course! At least for some of the time. Oh well, we can dream, can’t we???

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: children, Military Family, Military spouse memes

The Reality of Raising Children Away From Family

March 20, 2018 by Julie

The Reality of Raising Children Away From Family

When your spouse joins the military, one of the things you have to be okay with is raising your children away from family. You won’t always be stationed close to home. You might be across the country, or even the ocean from everything you have ever known. This can be hard to adjust to and even harder to accept.

The Reality of Raising Children Away From Family

The reality of raising children away from family can feel so upsetting sometimes. If you have an idea in your head of what type of role your family has when you have your own children, there can be a lot of disappointment. The truth is, you never really know how this will make you feel and sometimes it doesn’t feel good.

I have always wanted to get away from home. About two months after high school graduation, I moved about nine hours away to go to college. This wasn’t because I hated my family, but I wanted to get out and explore. I wanted to experience life in different places. I wanted to “see the world” as much as I could.

Before my husband re-joined the Army, we moved from California to Kentucky with a six-month-old. Back then, I didn’t think much about what this meant as far as raising children away from family. I didn’t think about how difficult that would sometimes be or what we would be giving up by moving away.

Once my husband joined the army, we didn’t have as much of choice. We ended up in Germany and then Fort Campbell. These days, the Army can’t keep us. My husband is in the National Guard and technically could switch to a different state. However, there are a lot of reasons why moving back near family simply isn’t possible for us right now.

The Reality of Raising Children Away From Family

We are the part of the family that lives far away.

We are the ones the others don’t see too often. We are the ones that miss the birthday parties, the get-togethers, and the day to day lives of our family members. This is something so many military families can relate to as well.

When you are raising children away from family, you know that the people that are most special to you will miss out on certain parts of their childhood. You know that there are always pictures and video, but they can never replace being there in person. You try your best to keep everyone involved, but even through doing that, it isn’t the same as being there.

When you are raising children away from family, you must depend on friends and pay babysitters vs asking family to help watch your kids.

In the midst of solo parenting, this becomes a bigger challenge. What if you just need someone to watch your kids so you can breathe? Is that really something you can ask a friend to do? To pay a sitter to do? This part of being away from family can be difficult, and I envy my friends who have family nearby who can be there to step in for childcare needs.

When you are raising children away from family, the distance can make it difficult for your kids to know all of your family members the way you would want them to. Connecting across the miles isn’t always easy. Everyone is living busy lives and unless you take the time to schedule out calls and video chats on a regular basis, years can go by without talking.

While staying connected to grandma might be easy, staying connected to other family members is a lot more difficult. Your kids don’t get to have regular get-togethers and times with these people. Unless you can travel home often, too much time can go by without seeing one another.

The Reality of Raising Children Away From Family

There is hope though. Just because you are a military family doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye forever.

For one thing, there is always the chance that you will be stationed near your family. There are plenty of military families that live within a couple of hours from home. They travel there on long weekends, every holiday, and the divide isn’t so great.

If you are stationed overseas, or across the country from your family, this can give them a reason to visit you. You can play tourist and show them around. You can make memories you otherwise wouldn’t have made had you never left home.

When you live far away from family, you gain some independence you wouldn’t otherwise have. Friends become like family, and you learn how to have quiet holidays without a lot of the stress. There is something to be said for this type of life.

You can visit, as much as you can.

And although visiting will never be the same as living close, seeing your family on a regular basis can be an excellent way to bridge that divide. And if you can’t visit often right now, that could change as the years go by.

When you are raising children away from family, there are so many times you are going to feel left out. That you are going to feel that your kids are missing out. That you are going to wonder if you made the right decision to leave, even if that decision was made because of the military.

The best thing to do is look at everything you have and everything your kids have gained since you left. Focus on the positives of living away from home instead of the negatives.

Think about how your children have been to castles in Europe and have seen the Roman Colosseum. Think about the friends who became like family, that will always be in your life. Think about the quiet moments that have bonded you all together, that might not have happened as often had you stayed.

And remember, life can change as life often does. The way you are living your life right now can be completely different in a few years. If you want to be close to home again, see if your spouse can be stationed in your home state. Invite family to visit. Take more trips. And always make sure to connect over the miles, even if life seems too busy to do so.

How far away do you live from your family? What do you do to stay connected?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Military Family, military life, raising children away from family

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been a military spouse for 17 years!

My husband of 20+ years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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