Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military life

Not All Military Housing is Created Equal, and Other Truths About Military Spouse Life

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I never thought I would be a military spouse. When I met my husband, he was 25 and had already served a few years in the Army. Little did I know that life would lead him back to the military, and make me a military spouse.

There have been so many surprises along the way, and I have learned so much. Here are just a few truths about military spouse life. Can you relate?

You might be told X will happen, but that doesn’t mean it will

There have been so many times in the last 15 years when military plans have changed. From deployments to trainings to appointments. Military life is all about change. Nothing is ever set in stone and it is probably best to assume nothing is going to happen a certain way until it actually does.

Military life isn’t fair!

Your spouse might deploy a lot more than other spouses. You might not ever end up at the “best” duty stations. Some service members take longer to promote than others. The best thing to do is celebrate when you are the one to get good news and be humble when you see that your friend or neighbor has not.

Not all military housing is created equal

When we moved into our orange duplex at our 2nd duty station in Germany, I cried. That house was amazing! And to think we got that amazing house just because we moved to a new duty station, not because of rank or position. That the two homes could be so different was amazing to me. Some housing is much better than others and that can be a frustrating reality of military life.

You will grow without your spouse by your side

During military life, you and your spouse will grow. You will change. Everyone does. Sometimes this will happen when they are not home. During a deployment, you can grow and change and because you have, life can be a bit of a challenge once your spouse gets home. Keep this in mind during the redeployment period and remember why you decided to be together in the first place.

Your parenting will look a little different

Survival mode is very real and sometimes being in survival mode means you let things go and your parenting will change because of that. Try not to let this get you down, real-life sometimes doesn’t mix with our ideals. Do your best and at the end of the day, give yourself some grace.

You will surprise yourself

During the last 15 years, I have done things I never thought I was capable of. I have been stretched and have become stronger because of everything I have been through. Military life will mold you into the person you are meant to be. And you will look back and might be surprised about everything you have had to go through to get there.

When military life is over, you might not want to leave

As much as you think you are ready to leave military life behind, doing so isn’t as easy as you think the transition will be. You might find yourself missing parts of military life and wondering why you and your spouse decided that chapter needed to be closed. You might get upset that your spouse had to leave because of medical issues. Give yourself time to adjust to the after military lifestyle.

The “worst” duty station might be your favorite

There are a few duty stations out there that have the reputation of being the worst place you could get stationed. Places you really don’t want to go and for a lot of them, there is a good reason for that. But sometimes, the “worst” duty station may be your favorite place.

Maybe you have figured out how to bloom where you are planted or maybe you just made some amazing friends, but whatever reason you will always look back at that duty station as some of the best years of your military life.

How long have you been a military spouse? What have you learned along the way?

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

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Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

Happy to have this guest post by Christina on being stationed at Fort Sill in Oklahoma. Please visit my Duty station guest post page for blog posts on other locations or more information about how you can write a guest post about where you have been stationed.

Hi! My name is Christina. I am an Army wife, mother of two boys, homeschool teacher, and lifestyle blogger at It’s a Military Life. We have been stationed at Fort Sill in Oklahoma for over 4 years and it has been an amazing place to raise our children. Lots of family programs and support that we are actively involved in with our little ones. I am so excited to share all about Fort Sill and the surrounding area!

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

Tell me about the area

Fort Sill is in southwest Oklahoma, with Lawton as its neighboring community, just outside the gates. Personally, being a Chicago native, I very much enjoy the sunny and mild weather. Here and there you might get crazy storms-hail, intense rainstorms, and strong winds-but thankfully the mountains are great for deterring any possible threat of a tornado.

The weather allows for wonderful times at the beautiful LETRA lake and park facility located on post, with cabins, a family beach, picnic areas, and many different outdoor activities. Elmer Thomas Park is also a great place to enjoy a stroll around the pond, free splash park during the summer, and a park suitable for all ages! There are multiple dog parks on post and around Lawton. Some of our first friends we met were at the local parks. If you enjoy the outdoors, this is the place for you!

Mount Scott is a very popular destination, located within the Wichita Mountain Refuge. Here you will see bison, longhorns, and many cute little prairie dogs. Holy City is also tucked away in the mountainous areas; a perfect place to reflect and take in the historic landmark. Another great place to visit is the quaint town of Medicine Park-adorable shops, beautiful scenery, and only a short drive all within the area. 

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

I can go on and on about all the beauty in the surrounding areas, and all the outdoor opportunities on and off base. At first, Lawton/Fort Sill might seem like it is all restaurants, casinos, churches, and car washes (my first thought), but I had to stop comparing it to my hometown of lush green trees, lakes, and suburban living. It has a lot to offer, you just have to be willing to explore to find it!

What facilities are on base?

Fort Sill has a wonderful PX and Commissary, with lots of food and shopping options. There is a bowling alley, four recreational centers, an indoor pool, multiple outdoor swimming pools, splash parks, movie theater, countless parks, a youth center, a very active USO, multiple places of worship, and a great facility called the Patriot Spouses Club for parties and events.

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

What’s there to eat around there?

Fort Sill/Lawton has plenty of restaurants to choose from and even has a lot of food trucks for all those foodies out there. Our favorites are Ted’s Escondido, Burger Joint, Rib Crib, Firehouse Subs, Braum’s Ice Cream, and The Wright’s Diner. Medicine Park has some amazing restaurants, especially Old Plantation, which has great food that makes you feel like you are back home in your grandmother’s kitchen!

Families with Children

Lawton Public School District is the school district for the area, with the on post school included: Freedom Elementary. There are a few private schools in the area, as well. Fort Sill has wonderful options for part-time and full-time childcare, with availability at multiple facilities and in-home care which are all located on base. The Youth Center offers game and leisure activities, a technology lab, homework center, individual sports, group sports, and other fitness activities.

Fort Sill community is very active all year long, with lots of holiday celebrations and special events. Trunk-or-Treat is one of our favorites, along with LETRA Movie on the Beach, Dog Days of Summer Pool Party, ACS Play Group, and Exploring the Park events, Elmer Thomas Christmas Parade, NYE Library Story Time, and much much more!

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

If you’re up for the drive…

As I mentioned before, Medicine Park with the Wichita Mountains is within the area, which is great if you like the outdoors and a quaint small-town vibe with unique shops you can’t find anywhere else.

As a midwestern native, who grew up close to Chicago, I love only being an hour and a half from Oklahoma City! This city is thriving, with so many activities for singles, couples, and families. The zoo has so many animals and hosts several special events. Both Oklahoma City and Edmond, have lots of great museums and play places for your kids to explore. The Oklahoma State Fair is the biggest event of the year every September. Lots of delicious food and family fun!

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

Dallas is only 2.5 hours away, with endless activities and places to go, with fun rodeo shows nearby at Fort Worth and amazing shops at Grapevine. Tulsa is 3.5 hours east with beautiful shops, great museums, and a lovely botanical garden.  All worthwhile drives, with great communities full of experiences for everyone!

Our Life at Fort Sill in Oklahoma

All in all…

Fort Sill is a great place for family, and we really have enjoyed our time here. The weather is sunny and mild almost every day, giving us lots of chances to have some great outdoor memories with our kids and dog. The base itself is all about taking care of their soldiers and families, with countless activities to promote community and wellness. We are so grateful for all the experiences we have had so far in this great location.

Hi, I’m Christie! I’m an Army spouse, homeschool teacher, and lifestyle blogger at It’s a Military Life. IML is a lifestyle blog sharing lifestyle advice and resources for military spouses and families. The blog includes many different contributors sharing military experiences, home decor ideas, recipes, fitness, as well as resources for our military children. We are a diverse community of military spouses creating a milso network for both men and women because military spouses are stronger together!

So What Can You Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard?

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Military life is a rollercoaster. You will have your good days and your bad ones. You will have highs and you will have lows. You will be waiting for orders for months and months and then you get them and before you know it you are on a plane headed to your next duty station.

It’s a strange way to live your life, always waiting and then not waiting and hoping and crying and then laughing. Your emotions are all over the place.

When you hit a difficult season of Military life, it can be hard to know what to do. You want to think positively, but doing so is hard. You want to keep busy, but all you really want to do is hide in your bed. You want to remember that this too shall pass but all you see is more lonely nights, more frustrating days, and years of feeling like your life can never be normal again.

So what do you do when you hit this point? What can you do to get out of it?

Find Friends

Find your friends. Maybe you don’t feel like you can see them in person, or maybe they live too far away. You can still connect.

Send a text message, schedule a friend’s Zoom call, or make plans to meet up sometime in the future.

Friends are a must during military life. They can get you through the hard times, and help you make memories together. And they can pull you out when you are feeling like the military is just too much to handle.

Journal Journal Journal

If you don’t already keep a journal, why not start? Pick out a new journal, and just start writing. You can make it the way you want, and just write out your feelings.

The best thing about journaling is that no one can judge what you write. And putting things down on paper can help you get to a better place. A journal is a must during a deployment, or anytime the military is driving you crazy.

Remember the Past

Remember what you have been through before. A long deployment? A move to a place you never wanted to go? And think about how you got through all of that.

When you remember what you have been through, it makes it easier to go through something else in the future. You are strong, and you can look back and see evidence of that. You might just need a reminder.

What CAN You Change

In the end, you have to figure out what YOU can change and what YOU have control over. So many times in military life we as spouses have zero control, but that doesn’t mean we just have to live with everything the way that it is.
What can we do to make things a little bit easier back at home? What changes can we make to our daily schedules? Once you start looking at what you can change, and work on those things, it makes it a little easier to accept the things you can’t.

Have you ever felt like Military life was a little too much at times? What have you done to get through it?

Finding Yourself, When Your Spouse Deploys

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Finding Yourself, When Your Spouse Deploys

Whenever my husband is gone, I find I have a little more time for myself. I have more time to think about things, and more time to figure out what I was to do and change in my life.

Life is still busy when he is gone, sometimes even more so, but I love to take that time to reflect on well, everything.

As you go through deployments during your years as a military spouse, you will find that no matter what happens while they are gone, you will learn something new, and grow as a person.

During my first deployment, I found my inner strength and realized I could solo parent, for over a year if I needed to. This gave me the strength to get through future deployments. And while I am thankful that we have never had to go through another long deployment like that, I am thankful that I learned from it.

During our second deployment, I learned about the beauty of true friendship and what it means to help each other out. During that deployment, I found such a good friend, and we needed one another to get to the finish line. Going forward, I find the friendship of a good friend so important during military life.

During our third deployment, I battled a lot of fears. I was scared when I wasn’t before and I wasn’t even sure why. I learned to handle those fears and to figure out ways to move past them. I was able to take that into future separations.

During our fourth deployment, I realized I needed extra help. I had hit some type of wall and I couldn’t continue in the way I was going. That deployment broke me and I had to figure out how to make it work, for myself, for my kids, and for my husband.

We have gone through other separations and each one I grow in some way. Each one I learn something new. And I try to take what I have learned into the future, through military life, or anything that comes my way.

If you are going through a deployment, there are some things you can do to reflect more on your life, and learn some pretty amazing lessons along the way.

Journaling

Keeping a journal is such a good way to do this. You can spill out your thoughts and no one has to ever read them. You can read older entries and learn more about how far you have come.

Talking With a Friend

Talking things out with a good friend can also be helpful. Sometimes we can’t always see things that our friends can. And by talking to friends, we can be there for them and their journey as well.

Take Time For Yourself

We all need time to ourselves. Even if that means a nice bubble bath when your kids are sleeping in the next room over. Having time to yourself will allow you to have the mental space to work through anything you are dealing with and to figure out better ways to cope during a deployment.

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

Stepping out of our comfort zone can be hard to do. But sometimes doing so leads to so many amazing things. If you have the opportunity to try something new, go for it. You never know where it might lead.

Use the time during a deployment to make some healthy changes, and learn through your challenges. You will be glad that you did.

When It Feels Like Military Life Isn’t Fair

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Military life isn’t fair. It really isn’t. One of the mistakes I made going into this life was thinking military life might be fair. I know life isn’t fair but I guess I just assumed that the Military would be. The military is structured and organized, right?

What on earth was I thinking???

I thought that if you turned your paperwork in on time, you would get a quick response. Nope. Sometimes you have to wait because so and so went on a two-week vacation.

Other times your paperwork gets lost or sent to the wrong department. You really have to be on top of it. We stopped getting our BAH once because we didn’t send in a rental agreement, only no one told us we needed to and it took a while to figure out why that was happening.

I thought that if you went through one deployment, you would get a break on the next one. Nope. It really just depends on the unit and luck. Two soldiers can enlist the exact same day in the exact same MOS and have a completely different career path.

You can control some of this, but not everything. Sometimes what happens is just random and that is hard to get over when you think there should be some sort of fairness to this type of life. I learned that fairness has no place in a deployment schedule.

And this is another reason why you really never know what you signed up for. You can never really see how military life is going to pan out. You just have to “buckle your seat belt” and get ready for the ride.

You have to hope for the best while also preparing for the worst. And that isn’t always easy to do.

I have learned that you just can’t plan everything out based on what you think should happen. You can’t even plan based on what has happened in your spouse’s career in the past. Things change you really just have to go with the flow.

I am such a planner. I want to know what is going on, what time it is going on, where it will be happening, and what I need to do to prepare.

Military life makes this hard sometimes.

You might get little notice for something. Some people move with just a few weeks notice. Others go through the deploying one week, not deploying the next to end up deploying anyways.

I had to let go of the idea that everything will lead to a nicely wrapped future. I don’t think that is true for anyone. If I could go back in time and tell myself anything it would be that.

I would tell myself that things will happen that I have no control over and that I just have to roll with the changes. I think life would have been a little bit easier if I had realized that in the beginning.

If you are new to Military life and you are already feeling the unfairness of it all, take a step back.

Realize that it is going to be this way sometimes. That the best thing to do is try to roll with what is going on, vent to those who understand, and figure out a way to get through the difficult situation.

Look for the good benefits that this life brings, they are there. If it wasn’t for the Military, I wouldn’t have met the friends I did or traveled to the places I was able to go. I would be a different person and I am not sure I would be as strong.

Try not to be jealous of others. Be happy for them because you never know what might happen in the future. Try to enjoy the journey as best as you can.

Find friends who get what you are going through, depend on family who wants to help you, and try to support others when you can.

It’s Okay Military Spouse, It’s Really Okay, I Have Been There

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It's Okay Military Spouse, It's Really Okay, I Have Been There

In November, I will hit 15 years of being a military spouse. 15 years! That seems so hard to believe sometimes, other times…it feels like I have been living this life so much longer.

Some years are easier than others. Some years have more separations than others. Some years just feel so much more difficult than others.

But there have also been so many good memories over the years. I have met so many amazing people. I am thankful for all that I have been able to experience from this life.

Often times it can feel like military life is dragging us down. That we would be so much better off if our spouse found another career. That we shouldn’t even be in this position or that we are not strong enough to make it through.

But I think one of the things that helps through all of this is knowing that you are not going through any of this alone. That there are other military spouses who have been through it all too. And that we can all learn from one another.

It’s okay Military Spouse, it’s really okay and I have been there.

I have waited months and months to see my husband because of paperwork.

I have given birth without my husband in the same country.

I have missed best friends getting married and having babies because of the Army.

I have had to say goodbye to my husband more than once not knowing if I would ever see him again and if I did if he would be the same person I married.

I have had to watch as friends got that knock. The one that changed their lives forever.

I have had to watch friends as the husband they loved and adored become a completely different person because of PTSD and decided he no longer wanted to be with them or their children anymore.

I have said goodbye to friends that have become like family to me and know I might not ever see them again.

I have had to sit and wonder during a blackout knowing that my husband was probably okay but also not knowing why the blackout was going on.

I have sat with a group of wives while our children played and we tried to figure out how we would get through the next 3-4 months of a deployment that was supposed to have ended the month before.

I have been through the lonely nights, the jealousy of knowing our civilian friends have never had to go longer than a few days without their spouses, of being mom and dad to the children, of comforting sad kids that just want their Dad at a soccer game.

I have had to tell my children that our vacation was canceled because their dad got called up to go somewhere for a few weeks instead.

I have been through it and although it made me a stronger person, I do wonder what I would be like if I hadn’t had to deal with all of this. I wonder if some of my struggles and issues are because of the years of war and I am not really sure what I can do with all of that.

Because life as a military spouse is up and down…

Because life as a military spouse is so much harder than anyone could ever predict…

Because life as a military spouse can be so full of surprises, and some of those can knock you off your feet.

So if you as a Military spouse need to cry and vent, if you need to go home for a while, if you need to see a counselor, if you just need a friend who gets it, I understand. I totally understand. I have been there.

We have each other to lean on, we have each other to learn from. We have each other to vent with, and we have each other to get through this life with.

And although some days are harder than others, the truth is, we all fell in love with someone who wants to serve their country. And deep down we know that this is where we are supposed to be.

How long have you been a military spouse?

7 Ways to Survive This Summer…in GIFs

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It’s summer! Are you excited? Maybe you are feeling a bit disappointed about what summer is going to look like this year? I know I am.

There are a lot of things that have been canceled or won’t be happening this year. My youngest was supposed to go to his first overnight summer camp and we are super sad about that, as well as other summer activities we just can’t do right now.

We are going to have to have a lot more patience this summer than ever before, and try to keep a sense of humor about it. Here are 7 ways to get you through the summer…in GIFS.

1) Invest in a good sprinkler…for the kids, for the dog, and well for you too. You know you will want to take a run through them every once in a while.

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2) Binge watch something that will grab you from the start, and make it so you don’t want to do anything else. Watch out though, you might start to think that you are actually friends with the characters.

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3) Make cookies. Make all the cookies. Make chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies. You can even make oatmeal cookies. But whatever you do, do not make oatmeal cookies and let people think they are chocolate chip cookies. That is just not cool.

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4) Read all the books. There are so many good books out there. From beach reads to books that will get you to think about all the important topics. Find some paperbacks and sit outside, and get your reading on. Summertime is a good time for it.

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5) DIY everything! If you have downtime, why not use it to work on your home a bit? Step one) figure out what you want to do. That actually might take you all summer long, but that’s okay. You can always just watch HGTV as homework.

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6) Prepare for that PCS! Maybe you are not moving until December, but who cares. It’s time to research. Find out about your new home. Could that location change? Sure! But we milspouses know this, we just have to power through.

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7) Learn a new skill. I mean, why not? Learn how to knit, or take better photos. Learn how to play the guitar, or how to work on a website. The internet makes it so much easier these days and you never know when that new skill will lead to a different career path.

via GIPHY

I hope you are having a good summer, even though this summer is probably the oddest summer we will ever have.

What Military Spouses Want Their Friends to Know

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What Military Spouses Want Their Friends to Know

I saw them every day. I went to school with them. Military kids.

I remember driving on base to pick up a friend. I think the gate guards had to call her house to get their okay to let us in. This was pre-9/11 of course.

I remember hearing about how my friend’s dad always had to be away. I didn’t understand what that would be like. My dad was always home.

I remember my co-worker, sending letters to her military husband she had married over leave. How did she do that? How did she have a husband who lived half a world away? I remember her, “Half my heart is in Afghanistan” sticker on her car.

I was complaining to my mom about having to move yet again in my college years. She told me to think of all those military wives that had to pack up their children and keep moving every few years.

And then, in 2005…I became a part of this world. This military lifestyle that I had only seen glimpses of in my civilian years. A life that I didn’t even really know much about, even if I had seen a few Mel Gibson war movies. A life that has surprised me in many different ways.

Now I am on the other side. Later this year I will hit 15 years as a military spouse. There are so many things I want my non-military spouse friends to know. I want them to understand how things can be for us and what living as a military spouse is all about.

We know we are not the only ones who miss our spouses

As much as we miss our spouses, as much as how that part of military life is hard for us, we are aware that other spouses go through separations too. We know about truck drivers and police officers and firefighters and surgeons and contractors.

We know we are not the only ones missing the ones that we love. We might not be in a good place to hear about how badly someone is missing a spouse who is only gone for a week but even then, we can understand that when you are not used to being apart, it can be difficult. Talking about our military life struggles doesn’t mean we think we are the only ones going through this type of hardship.

Some of us do remember are pre-military spouse years

Unless you became a military spouse the day you got married, you will have lived as a civilian before military life started. You remember what it is like. You can compare the before and after.

People have said that military spouse life is the same as any other. I call BS on this. I remember what it was like before the Army.

These days, my life looks different than it did pre-Army, but also different than it did when my husband was active duty. There is a big difference between the two. It isn’t that one type of life is better than any other, but they are different, and saying they are the same does a disservice to both types of lifestyles.

Our marriages are not doomed

It’s way too easy to look at the hardships that military families go through and think that all of our marriages are doomed. This is not true. Sometimes the hardships make for stronger marriages.

Sometimes life outside the military is a reason couples break up. Sometimes people change. Sometimes this is because of the military.

We get jealous

It’s true. I am not going to lie. I have been jealous of non-military families. Of not having to send anyone to war. Of not having friends move away all the time.

I think this is natural. It’s what you do with your jealousy that matters. I can choose to be bitter about it, or I can try to work through it and not let it run my life.

Army wives is not reality

So many people ask if Army Wives the tv show is just like our life. No. It’s a TV show.

There are some truths to the show. There are some realities they got right but for the most part, especially after the first season, things do not seem like real life to me.

We are a diverse bunch

There are so many diverse military families and so many types of people who make up the military world. Some are pretty conservative, some are pretty liberal. Some are from a small town, some are from a big city.

Some have a lot of children, some have no children with no plans to add any in the future. The military world is such a mix of different people. There is not just one way to be a military spouse.

We will miss this life when it is over, even if we couldn’t wait to be civilians again

When it comes to getting out of the military, some of us are really excited about that. However, that doesn’t mean getting out is going to be easy.

We will miss parts of military life. We will sometimes wish we never had to leave. The post ETSing process can be very emotional.

We know you can’t fully understand and that is okay

We know that no matter how many times we explain about our lives, how many blog posts we write, you will never fully understand. And that is okay.

We can’t expect you to, just like we can’t totally understand any of the struggles you are going through that we haven’t experienced. That is life. And that’s okay.

We are thankful

When we know our civilian friends support us, we are thankful. We are thankful for any messages they give. We know they are looking at our lives from the outside but we are so thankful when we know people care and acknowledge what we are going through.

Even if we do get frustrated by certain comments, we know deep down they come from a place of thankfulness and we really appreciate that.

What would you add to this list? What do you want your civilian friends to know about military life?

9 Things to Do When You Are Impatient About a PCS

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9 Things to Do When You Are Impatient About a PCS

How many of you are waiting on a PCS? Maybe you had orders to move and they were delayed because of what is going on in the world right now, maybe your original PCS date isn’t until later this year? Either way, waiting for a PCS can be difficult.

I have totally been there.

I couldn’t wait to PCS back to the US from Germany. I was so ready. And it seemed like we would never get there, but then the time finally came.

You can love your duty station and still be ready to PCS. You can hate your duty station, and struggle with extra time at a place you really don’t want to be. Whatever the reason, it’s hard to be patient waiting on a PCS.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to help you get through this time. Here are nine of them:

1) Remember the good times. No matter where you have been stationed, if you look hard enough, you have to admit there have been some good times. Maybe it is just that you love the deli you go to once a week, or maybe it is because you enjoy your daily walks. Whatever it might be, reflect on the time that you have had, journal your feelings, and pick some fun photos of your time there.

2) Make a bucket list for your new home. Spend some time online researching your new home. Figure out things you want to do once you get there. Take time to research now because once you get there, life might start moving pretty quickly and you might not have the time or energy to really look into what is there later.

3) Take up a new hobby. Cooking? Knitting? Photography? What can you do to stay busy? Focusing on a new hobby can take your mind off of the wait.

4) Look for a new home. This will, of course, depend on where you are in the PCS process. But, if you are looking for a home to buy or rent, you can start looking online. Even if your date gets pushed, you can get a sense of what is available in your new area or even help you make the decision to live on post or off.

5) Start going through stuff. It’s time to declutter. It’s time to go through everything. It’s time to see if your stuff sparks joy if you are into that. See what you can go through and what you can get rid of. It is easier to move with less stuff, and then you won’t run the risk of going over your weight limits.

6) Finish your current duty station bucket list. While you might not be able to do everything due to closures, you can see if there is anything else you can do before you leave. Maybe there is a park you have always wanted to visit or a local food you have wanted to try, now is your chance.

7) Blog about your duty station. Writing can be so good for you. Start a blog post about your current duty station. Don’t have a blog? I take guest post just about duty stations and would love to read what you have to say. The best way to learn about a duty station is from someone who has been there.

8) Buy something from your current duty station. We have this amazing painting that shows a soldier and his wife in downtown Schweinfurt by Lisa Parmeter, where we used to live. I am so happy I bought that because it is now on our wall and reminds me of our time there. See if you can purchase any local art or locally made crafts that you can take with you to your next duty station. You will be glad that you did.

9) Breathe. I know, this is hard. You just want to get moved. But you have to wait. And maybe you have downtime right now, maybe you don’t. Either way, remember to breathe and know this time will pass. And before you know it you will be knee-deep in boxes and PCS stickers.

Are you currently waiting on a PCS???

When You Are Raising a Military Child

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When You Are Raising a Military Child

They have had to say goodbye to at least one parent, not fully understanding when they will see them again. Not fully understanding where they have to go, or why they have to be away for so long. Not totally getting what it means to serve your country.

They have to say goodbye to the dad that makes them laugh, or the mom who helps them with their homework. To their protector, and one of the people they trust the most. And the goodbye is never an easy one.

They go through deployments, day-by-day, just like we do, but this life was never a choice for them. It was the one they were born into, and the life that they know.

They can get scared, and worried about their deployed parent. War is never easy to understand, and even harder for a child to do so. And as much as we are there to comfort them, we wonder if it is enough. We wonder how much missing a parent, for months at a time, will affect them.

They have to start over, every few years, when they might not totally understand why. When they don’t want to go. When you know they will be missing their friends for years to come.

They move with us, and have to start over just like we do. And if they aren’t the ones to be moving this year, some of their friends might have to. There will always be someone PCSing in their friend circle.

One minute they are playing soccer together, laughing about something little boys do. The next, their friend is on an airplane and your heart breaks when they ask if they can still come to their next birthday party.

Our military children, so strong, so resilient, and yet sometimes it feels like we can’t help them enough. That we can’t comfort them enough. That we, alone are not enough.

Some of us raising these kids were military brats and understand what this is like. These parents remember the moves and the goodbyes. Some of us never moved as a child, and always had a parent in the home, not even going away on a business trip. All of this is just a very different way to live.

Every time we move to a new duty station, we pray for friends for our kids. We pray for stability. And we hope for a good experience.

We think about everything thing our military children have been able to experience because their mom or dad serves in the military. We think about how they were able to visit over 10 countries before they even started kindergarten, or how they were born in another country, with stories and pictures to share for years to come.

We think about all the different people they have had the pleasure to meet over the years. They might not remember the family you spent so much time with when they were toddlers, but you do, and you will always have those photos and memories that you can share as your children grow older.

These military children might have to say goodbye more times in their short lives than you ever would have dreamed. But somehow, they get through each and every one. Somehow, you all work together. Somehow.

And while military life can be so difficult sometimes, these military children are the special ones. They are being raised by our nation’s heroes, are involved in such a diverse and amazing community, and will go on to do some amazing things in the future because of it.

Us military spouses are the backbone and the constant in their lives. We won’t deploy, and we will always be there to hold their hands. We can’t replace our spouse, nor would we want to, but we can be the bridge that helps them through, anything that comes their way.

We hope that when our children are grown, they will remember the good. The trip to Disneyland after dad’s deployment, the move to Germany on their 5th birthday, or the community of friends and loved ones that surrounded them when they had to be so far away from their own grandparents and cousins.

We hope that the scary times don’t overshadow the good ones. We hope that they become stronger through all of this. And we know that no matter what, we love them, their service member parent loves them, and the military community will always be there for them, no matter where they go in this world.

Happy Month of the Military Child!!!