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Military spouse life

What I Wish I Knew Before My Spouse Became a Recruiter

March 30, 2021 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Happy to have this guest post by April on her experiences while her spouse was a military recruiter. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

Recruiting duty, like a lot of other things in the military, has some awesome perks but also some tough drawbacks.

Before my husband volunteered, all I knew was he was non-deployable, and that was pretty dang important after coming off of a year being separated because of his PCS to Korea for which I was not approved to go with.

I didn’t know anyone who had been a recruiter who I could talk to in order to gain somewhat of a perspective of what to expect. So, we were basically going in blind. My husband was stationed in Central Oregon, nowhere near a military installation.

Here are four things I wish I knew going into recruiting duty, and I hope they will help prepare you better than I was.

1) Recruiting duty is stressful, and the hours are long.

There were many 14-16 hour days, 6-day workweeks, and overnights to trainings and MEPS. I was thankful we were together as a family, but I was not prepared for how much the job would take a toll on my spouse. It was all about numbers and making so many phone call attempts, which left my husband little control over his schedule, and that left me never knowing when he would be home or when he might have to leave overnight.

There is definitely some of that in the regular Army, but the unpredictability of the daily schedule taught me to just let go, or at least attempt to let go, of all expectations of a standard mealtime or time when my husband would walk through the front door. He also had a government phone, and so he was constantly getting phone calls and texts from coworkers and applicants. 

2) The service member is non-deployable!

The biggest perk for me, coming off of a year apart with a small child, was that my husband was never gone for more than a few months at a time. We had another baby while he was on recruiting because we could guarantee he would be home for the birth. It was glorious to not have to worry about a deployment for three years.

3) You may be stationed nowhere near a military installation.

The closest one to us was a four-hour drive, and so we didn’t get any of the amenities we were used to when we had a post nearby. Groceries were more expensive, and childcare was difficult to find. Because of not being near a military installation, there was a sense of isolation.

We didn’t have a ton of military families who knew what we were going through close by that we could lean into for support and friendship, and there wasn’t a post that had activities we could go to in order to stay busy or meet other people. We had to work really hard, and in ways we hadn’t had to before, in order to build a community around us.

4) Yes, you may not be near a military installation, but help is out there!

You should still have a SFRG, you probably will rarely see them in person. There should be a representative for families at some level, you might just have to ask around to find that person. And there are spouses that are already there and have been there a while, ask them! They will know which grocery store has the cheapest groceries and possibly a good daycare for your child. You just have to be brave and ask around.

Recruiting duty is unique in a lot of ways, good and hard. Being on the tail end of it, I can see all the great things it allowed our family to do, and in the ways, it pushed us out of our comfort zones. 

April is a mom to two girls, wife to a soldier turned Air National Guard member and lives in Central Oregon. Her husband transitioned from active duty to the guard last year, and they are very much still in the trenches of transition. She loves to read, write, and be outdoors in their beautiful state. Military life is hard, and she has a passion for making it easier for others, however she can. You can find her at Mercy and Healing.

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Military spouse life, Recruiting Duty

PCSing Anytime Soon? These Companies, Organizations, and Resources Can Help

March 17, 2021 by Julie 1 Comment

Is there a PCS in your future? Is it time to start packing up boxes and getting on your way? Need some help with where to live at your next duty station?

A PCS can be a challenging season in your life. There is a lot to do, and not all of it is super clear. Back when we were PCSing overseas to Germany, there were so many steps that I felt my head was going to explode.

On the other end, it took almost a couple of months to feel even somewhat settled in my new home. Everything was so new and different from what I was used to. And it took some time to get to a place where I could breathe.

The good thing is that there are resources out there to help military spouses through a PCS. There are companies that will help you make decisions about where to live. There are companies that will help you figure out how to pack. There are companies to help you figure out how to decorate within the military community.

Like anything else in military life, we don’t have to go through a PCS alone. Here is a list of companies, organizations, and military spouses to help you during your next PCS:

PCS Resources

MilSpouseConversations OCONUS Talk

MilSpouseConversations had a great talk in March about PCSing overseas. This group of military spouses has been through quite a few overseas moves from Japan to Germany. MilSpouseConversations is about real raw, real topics, and real conversations with a group of military spouses with over 100 years of military spouse experience between them.

PCSgrades

Trying to decide on a neighborhood at your next duty station? Looking for a realtor? PCSgrades has reviews on many different off-post or on-post neighborhoods, real estate agents, mortgage lenders, moving companies, apartments, and schools.

Millie

Millie is also a great place to go for help before a PCS. Their Millie Scouts can be your boots on the ground, to help you review a future home when you can’t do so in person. They also have AgentHeroes who understand military life and can help you find a new home.

Permanent Change of Storing

Permanent Change of Storing is owned and founded by Navy wife, Christa Curtis. Permanent Change of Storing will help you with organizing your home, PCS prep, settling in, and more.

Military One Source

Military One Source offers PCS help too. You can connect with experts that can help you through your move, Plan My Move, which offers a tool that gives you customized lists and more, and MilitaryINSTALLATIONS which is the official DoD guide for military institutions worldwide.

Move.Mil

Move.Mil is the official DoD Moving Portal. Here you can find information and guidance for your move, where you can schedule your move, information about shipping your car, and even tips for settling in.

Military By Owner

This company provides advertising for selling a home near military installations as well as resources on different aspects of military life, real estate, and homeownership. They can also be a great place to look for a home either to rent or to buy.

At Ease Rentals

This company provides active duty and their families, DoD employees, military contractors, as well as federal employees with short-term rentals that are pre-approved to meet FTR (Federal Travel Regulation).

PCSing.com

At Pcsing.com, you can find a one-stop information resource for service members and their families that are going through a military move.

MilHousing Network

MilHousing Network connects military families with military real estate experts in the US. They also run the Facebook group, Things I Wish I Knew Before I PCS’d.

Moving House for the Military Spouse

Moving House for the Military Spouse is a Facebook page that shows real life photos from military housing.

AHRN

AHRN stands for the Automated Housing Referral Network is a website for members of the military who are searching for housing at a new duty station.

PCS Money

Need to know about PCS travel and relocation allowances or weight limits? You can find that information on the Defense Travel website.

BAH

Curious about BAH at your upcoming duty station, go here for the BAH calculator.

This post does contain some affiliate links!

PCS Themed Products

MilitaryPrintables

Looking for a PCS Binder Printable Kit? Check out MilitaryPrintables on Etsy.

Welcome to Rota: The Unofficial Guide to Getting Settled, and Enjoying the Culture, Food, and Travel Opportunities of Southern Spain

This book, written by fellow military spouse and writer, Lizann Lightfoot, is all about living in OCONUS in Rota, Spain.

Milly’s PCS Worries

This children’s book, written by Amy Rivera and illustrated by Dayanese A. Rodriguez, is about Izzy and Milly, whose dad is in the military and gets orders to PCS.

Olive Fox Paper Shop

Looking for cute PCS announcements? Olive Fox Paper Shop has some super cute choices.

Moving With the Military

Moving With the Military is a home improvement lifestyle series that celebrates military families with home makeovers.

Facebook Groups

In my own Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Facebook group you can find a ton of posts based on duty stations both in the US and OCONUS. Just join the group, and do a search to see if your questions have already been asked about your future duty station.

PCS Like a Pro is an educational and supportive community for all things PCS related.

White Walls is a group to help with interior decor inspiration to make your military home feel like home.

Lost During My PCS is a group to help military families find missing items that they have lost during a PCS.

Military PCS With Pets is all about sharing information on how to PCS with pets.

Articles and Blog Posts About PCSing

5 Things to Do When You Get PCS Orders

PCS: Moving the Family Pet

Checklist for PCS Moves

The Ultimate PCS Guide to Packing Out – with Printables!

Bloom Where You Are Planted – 5 Things To Make A New House Feel Like Home

How to Buy and Sell a House at the Same Time

Tips for First-Time Military Homebuyers (and Mistakes to Avoid!)

50 Tips You NEED Before Your Next PCS Move

PCSing with an EFMP family member

Duty Station Guest Posts – Here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life you can find many different guest posts on duty stations both CONUS and OCONUS.

PCSing This Summer? These Relocation Tips Will Help!

PCSing can be such a big part of military life. Whether you are moving four hours or 3,000 miles away from your previous home. Luckily, there are many resources out there to help including the ones listed above. Good luck! And enjoy this part of military life.

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Filed Under: PCSing Tagged With: Military spouse life, Moving with the military, PCSing

For the MilSpouse Right in the Middle of a Deployment

February 16, 2021 by Julie

For the MilSpouse Right in the Middle of a Deployment

Getting used to a deployment can be pretty difficult and let’s face it, do you ever really get used to a deployment? Nah, not really, but something happens a few weeks or even months in. You get to a place where the deployment doesn’t feel as gut-wrenching. You might even feel that you have a handle on things.

You have a routine now. Wake up, make breakfast, get the kids to school, head to work, come home, make dinner, etc. You are now used to not having that extra person around the house. Sure, you still have bad deployment days, days when you are so sad and just want to cry into your pillow. But at the same time, you feel a bit stronger than you did when they first left. A little less heartbroken.

But then you hit a point, middle deployment. The time when they have been away for a while but you still have a ways to go. The time when you look at all you have gone through but still know you have such a long road until homecoming. You want to be stronger, you want to keep going but knowing you are not at the finish line can be hard to take.

What should you do? How can you keep going? How can you turn things around and get through the rest of the deployment?

Here are some ideas!

Work on a goal list

If you haven’t already started a deployment goal list, now is the time. What do you want to get done before the deployment is over? What projects do you think you can tackle over the next few months? What have you always wanted to do in life but never felt like there was time to do? A deployment goal list will allow you to focus, and get working on your goals, even those that will take longer than a deployment to complete.

Write more love letters

If you haven’t already, start writing your spouse love letters. Write more love letters than you used to. Pour out your heart to the man or woman you love. Buy new stationery, add fun stickers, look for silly or sexy rated cards.

There are quite a few fun ones out there. Make a plan to write once a week. Take photos to share. Send more care packages.

Throw a party

Throw a halfway party with some of the other spouses. Sometimes the FRG likes to do a 50 day or 100-day party. If not, throw one yourself.

Don’t like to cook? Make it a pot-luck. Is the weather nice? Have a picnic party. Do something to celebrate the time you have already gone through in this deployment.

During COVID, you could throw your party virtually! Plan a date for everyone to get on Zoom to celebrate. Get a drink and party in your PJs from your own home. And that might not be a bad idea for after COVID too.

Start a long book series

Being lost in a book is a great idea. Start a long book series and get to reading. This would be a great time to start Harry Potter if you haven’t yet or go ahead and read the books a second time. Some other ideas are The Southern Vampire Mysteries, the series True Blood was based on, or the Outlander series, my favorite.

Sign up for a new volunteer position

A lot of groups on posts are always looking for volunteers. You could also work in your child’s school, coach a sports team or look for places in your community that need a little help. If you have a lot of free time, pour yourself into something new. Doing so will make the days go by faster, helping others will be good for your soul and you might even make some new friends because of it.

Take a trip

If you can, go on a trip. That is one of the best ways to make it through that middle deployment period. If you don’t have kids, or even if you do, see if a friend wants to go with you. During our 2nd deployment, my friend and I planned a trip to Garmisch during the middle of the deployment. It was a lot of fun and we were able to get out and explore a bit even though our husbands were gone.

No matter how long your deployment is, you will probably hit this middle point and will feel like the deployment will last forever. Don’t worry, it won’t. You will get through these months and eventually you will be on your way to go pick up your spouse, with tears in your eyes and a smile on your face.

What has helped you get through this part of deployment?

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Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: getting through a deployment, Military spouse life

10 Gifts for the MilSpouse Book Lover

January 31, 2021 by Julie

I know many of you love to read like I do. There is nothing better than diving into a new book. So whether you have a gift card burning a hole in your pocket, or shopping for another milspouse friend or family member, here are 10 gifts for the MilSpouse Book Lover:

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Book of the Month Subscription

I have been subscribing to Book of the Month for almost five years now, and I love it. Book of the Month is a book subscription service where each month you get to chose a hardback book from five selections. One of the things I love about the Book of the Month subscription is that if you don’t like any of the books on a certain month, you can easily skip. If you like more than one, you can add up to two add-ons. And after 12-months as a subscriber, you become a BFF with special perks. I LOVE being able to pick out a new book once a month. You can sign up here, and if you love books as I do, you will be glad you did 🙂

Bookmarks

I LOVE cute bookmarks. There are so many amazing creators out there, making bookmarks based on anything. From favorite books to favorite phrases. Just head on over to Etsy and see what you can find. I have ordered some cute bookmarks from BOOGandBEAN and BookmarksAndBites.

Bookish Socks

I love cute socks! And there are some super cute socks for book lovers out there. These Lavley Nerd Socks are SO fun!!!

Military Spouse Fiction

Are you a fan of military spouse fiction? Here are some authors that write about military spouse fiction or military life fiction:

  • Beyond the Point by Claire Gibson
  • Up in Smoke by Hannah Conway
  • Full Measures by Rebecca Yarros
  • Soldier On by Vanessa Rasanen
  • Don’t Mean a Thing by Renee Conoulty
  • All The Way Home by Kim Mills

A Kindle Paperwhite

I LOVE my Paperwhite. If you are going to get a Kindle to read on, the Paperwhite is the best choice. You won’t feel like you are reading on a computer or phone, which is so nice. The newest version is waterproof and I use the light every night when reading in bed.

A Kindle Paperwhite case

If you are going to get a new Kindle, you need a pretty new case. And there are many to choose from. Most of them are pretty affordable too. Just make sure the case you are buying fits your model of Kindle. I just bought myself this pretty one.

100 Books Scratch Off Poster

This is such a neat idea! The 100 Books Scratch Off Poster- Top Reads of All Time Bucket List. Put it on your wall, and once you read the book, scratch it off.

A Bookish Tee

What’s better than a bookish tee? There are so many to choose from. I love this “My Weekend is All Booked T Shirt.” It pretty much describes my life.

A Reading Journal

Tracking what you read can be a fun way to remember your reading year. And they make some amazing reading journals. For example, this Bibliophile Reader’s Journal by Jane Mount, with beautiful illustrations.

The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and More by Noralee Jones and Julie Provost.

Mrs. Navy Mama and I wrote a book last year, all about military life. In the book you will find: 10 Chapters based on the most frequently asked questions from new MILSOs, handouts and worksheets to supplement chapters and bring solutions, a resources list with links and specific posts broken down by topics, guides for Acronyms, PCSing list, and more!

Purchase your copy here!

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Filed Under: Military Life, Movies, Television, and Media Tagged With: Gifts for MilSpouses, Military Spouse Book Lovers, Military spouse life

Military Life Doesn’t Always Look the Same

January 24, 2021 by Julie Leave a Comment

Military Life Doesn’t Always Look the Same

Before my husband joined the military, I was a SAHM and he worked 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.

He joined the Army and by the time we hit the first-year mark, we were in the middle of a 15-month deployment, on a post in Germany.

My life changed in so many different ways. Military life was so completely different than what I was used to, in so many different ways.

Over the years, life has gone on, we went through many deployments and a couple of moves. Now as a National Guard family things are different than they were as an active duty one, but not quite the same as when we were civilians.

Some weeks are more military than others. Some years are more military than others. It all just depends on what is going on and what is happening with my spouse’s career.

Once you get to know the military community you start to notice that not everyone’s military journey looks the same. Some include more separations than others. Some include more moves than others.

Some military spouses have moved every few years, packing up and diving into a new home every three years. Others have only moved once or twice as a military family, with plans to stay put at their current duty station for quite a bit longer.

Some spouses have been through many deployments, in a short amount of time. Others have been able to have years in between.

Some military spouses are raising children and others are not. Some spouses will be able to be stationed overseas, and others will never have that opportunity.

Because our military experiences can be so different, it’s important to listen when other military spouses tell you they are having a more difficult time or just can’t seem to figure out the best way to get through the next few months.

It’s important to remember that what worked for you might not work for someone else. That we all have things that frustrate or bother us. And that we might not know what another military spouse is going through.

That being said, even if we haven’t walked the exact same path, there is beauty in coming together and talking about our experience. There is value in sharing what we have experienced and how we have made it through.

Whether you are a brand new military spouse or heading into your third decade.

Whether you have been through 10 deployments or waiting on your first one.

Whether you feel strong at the moment or are struggling with your current situation.

Military life doesn’t always look the same, but we can still learn from one another. The military community is strong, and we can help each other through with encouragement and patience. With listening ears and a desire to help one another out.

How long have you been a military spouse?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military spouse, Military spouse life, military wife

5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

December 15, 2020 by Julie

5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Season’s Greetings. We made it to the holidays, which feels a little weird. On one hand, the holidays are supposed to be magical, but it’s 2020, so…I guess we have to see how it plays out.

As much as I want things to instantly get better once the clock hits midnight on January 1st, I know, that things might not actually change all that much for us. I have hope that we won’t be dealing with another year of a pandemic, but I just don’t have any idea when our current situation will be over. Sigh. And that’s so hard to think about.

As military spouses, we know that military life doesn’t always have the best timing. There will be years when your spouse will be deployed over Christmas. There will be years when they are home. There will be years when you don’t even have a home as you are PCSing during the holidays, and there are years when you will be able to invite your family and celebrate in the way you want to.

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Add in a global pandemic, and things feel even more off. Still, I hope the holidays can bring you a little bit of joy. I hope that you can smile at least some of the time. Here are 5 memes for military spouses to help:

8 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

or California, or pretty much anywhere that refuses to have a White Christmas…TN I am looking at you 😉

Sometimes we have to take a deployment day by day, or even hour by hour. Deployments aren’t easy, but remember….you got this!

I have so been that girl, many times. And it isn’t the Christmas I wanted, but it was the Christmas I got. But at least I had my books.

YES!!! Put that under the tree please 🙂

I don’t know about you, but when I am going through something difficult, knowing I am not the only one going through it helps.

Whatever you do this holiday season, I hope you are able to make memories with your family, start new traditions, and connect together, even over the miles. As you look ahead to the new year, know that you can find ways to make it through anything that comes your way.

How are you celebrating the holidays this year?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Military spouse life, Military spouse memes

Can Anyone Really Make it as a Military Spouse?

November 4, 2020 by Julie

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Can anyone really be a military spouse? Can anyone who marries someone who serves figure out a way to make this work?

I have often believed that no matter who you are, where you came from, as long as you love your service member, you can get through anything. When my civilian friends tell me they could never do what I do, I want to tell them they could if they had married a service member too.

There have even been times in the past, before my husband joined the military when I didn’t think I could do it either.

When most people get married, they assume they will be married until death do us part. Who wants to go into a marriage with divorce as the goal? But the truth is, not all marriages last, and not all marriages can survive the military.

Can anyone make it as a military spouse? That depends.

Some people can get through anything the military life brings them. This should be the goal. Working through stressful situations, working on their marriage, and trying to figure out a way to get through it all.

Some military spouses married their service member years before they joined up. In these cases, life gets thrown entirely on its head when they join. Everything changes and that can be such an adjustment for the service member, military spouse, and children.

For others, marrying the love of their life meant becoming a military spouse on their wedding day, unsure of the adventures, or struggles they might run into in the future. Their new marriage is thrown together with the newness of military life.

In either case, the military spouse can feel like their world is falling apart, that they can’t make it through that deployment, that they are not quite cut out for this life.

I have felt this way myself. I would get to a place where I just didn’t see how I could keep doing this. Where everything was a little too much. Where I didn’t want to do the military life anymore.

But then, I remembered that I did indeed marry a soldier, even if he wasn’t actively serving at the time. I reminded myself that this is a part of who my husband is and that in the end, I can stand by him through whatever I need to. That my love for him and my want for us to be together will be more important than any lonely night or hardship the military comes my way.

That being said, this isn’t the case for everyone.

For some, this life isn’t something they can keep doing. They hit a wall for whatever reason. Sometimes they hit this wall because there has been betrayal in the marriage. Can you truly trust someone across the miles when they have cheated before? Sometimes there is abuse, or the couple cannot work out their difficulties.

The truth is, we don’t always know what other people are going through, we don’t know what happens in their marriage, and we don’t know what they have been through in the past. Compassion is a must.

While going into this life believing you can make it through is a must, know that if you were not able to, that if things did get too difficult, that if you are no longer a military spouse, that you have a right to do what is best for you.

That you did what you could, and that no one should be judging you for doing what is best for your own family. We are all our own people, and we have to make the choices that work for us.

What do you think? Can anyone make it as a military spouse?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, Military spouse life

Halfway Through a Deployment

October 19, 2020 by Julie Leave a Comment

Halfway Through a Deployment

They have been gone for so many days now, so many days. But as you look at the calendar, you realize something exciting, you have hit the halfway point.

This fills you will joy because it tells you that you are making it through this deployment. It tells you that the days will actually pass and you will get through to the end.

When the deployment first started, you weren’t sure how you would make it to the first week, let alone the first month but now, here you are, halfway through a deployment.

You think about all the days you have crossed off your calendar, and all the special memories you were able to make, even though you felt that deployment ache through them all. You still tried to have fun, even if they weren’t around to share that fun with you.

You have taken so many pictures, enough to fill a book. You have sent a handful of care packages, knowing that each one made their day, sending them love across the miles. You start to have ideas of what to send for the next few months.

You think about your kids, and how they have handled things. The first half of this deployment hasn’t been without tears. But, you know you can be there for them on the lonely nights or when they really just want that hug from mommy or daddy and you can’t give it to them.

You take our your calendar, and you know you need to fill the dates up just like you did for the first half of the deployment. You know keeping busy is the way to go, even though doing so doesn’t always take away the loneliness that comes with a deployment.

In the back of your mind, you know that they could stay for longer than you think they are supposed to. You have been there before and a deployment extension is always something you think about. But you also want to have that faith that the deployment will end at the time you think it might, and have hope that this truly is the halfway point of the deployment.

You think about what the halfway point of a deployment really means. The halfway point of a deployment means you will soon have fewer days left that you have already been through. The halfway point of a deployment means you can do hard things. The halfway point of a deployment means you have climbed up the mountain and just need to make your way back down.

Deployment days don’t always move quickly, but they do move and reaching the halfway point of the deployment is evidence of that. Reaching that milestone is a reason to celebrate, and to think about all the things you were able to do, that you didn’t think you could.

If you have friends going through the deployment with you, you could make plans to celebrate. Dance and sing, and know that you are doing this, you are getting through this deployment, even if it is just one day at a time.

Treat yourself and order a yummy dinner, buy a new book, or start a new project. Do something to mark this milestone, and remember this accomplishment when you hit harder days ahead.

Deployments are rarely easy. Each one comes with its own challenges, based on so many different factors. But they all have a halfway point to celebrate and remind you how tough you really are.

Have you done anything special to celebrate the halfway mark of a deployment?

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Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: Halfway through a deployment, military life, Military spouse life

A Military Spouse For All Seasons

October 15, 2020 by Julie 1 Comment

It’s fall! As I look out the window I can see the colors of the trees. I love how beautiful the fall in Tennessee is. Watching the leaves change is also a reminder of a new season approaching and the old one letting go.

As military spouses, our lives can be broken up into seasons. At first, we are a new spouse, asking all the questions. Then we become more seasoned and find ourselves offering advice.

We go through seasons of deployment, then reintegration, and then deployment once again. Hoping that we can take what we have learned from the past and apply it to the future. Hoping the next deployment is a little easier, even if deployments don’t work that way.

We go through seasons of pcsing. Our spouse gets orders to a new place. We research and learn as much as we can. We prepare and countdown the days. Then moving day arrives and we travel to our new home.

At first, we don’t know where anything is and have to ask for directions to the PX. But time passes and we find our community. We find our place. Knowing that there will be another PCS again in the future.

We go through seasons of “normal” life when our spouse comes home from work just like other spouses do. We spend the weekends together as a family, and life just goes on. But we can’t completely relax because we know things can and will change again in the future.

We find new friends and get to know one another, getting excited about what we have in common. If we are lucky we can spend years together, knowing one day the military will cause us to have to part. But we cherish the time we have together as much as we can because we know how quickly things can change.

As the seasons change, so do our lives. We might live in the south, soaking up the humidity, and swatting away the bugs, and the next year we will be sitting by a fire in Germany, wondering when the snow will actually melt.

The seasons with our kids change as well. That first deployment we might have babies, and by the fifth one, teenagers. No two deployments are the same and this is one of the biggest reasons why. The seasons of our lives have changed and so do our challenges.

As you go through these changes, remember, the bad seasons do not last forever and through them, there are so many lessons for us to learn. During the easier seasons of life, we might be able to reach out and help others on their own military journey.

If you are sick of your duty station, don’t worry, seasons will change and you will be on the move once again.

If you are sick of a deployment, remember, the days do pass and you will be at the end, and into a new season of them being home.

If you are struggling with your kids, struggling with work, or struggling in general, you can find ways to help. You can figure out what you can do to make life a little easier. And you can remember that this is just a season in your life, and things won’t always be this way.

I know this fall season that I love will pass quickly. One day I will look up at the trees and see most of them have lost their colors. I will start needing a jacket everywhere I go, and might even see some snowflakes. This will be a reminder to me that seasons change in the world, just like they do in my military life.

What season are you going through right now?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Life as a Military spouse, Military spouse life

The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

October 6, 2020 by Julie Leave a Comment

The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

I do a lot of reflecting sometimes. I have always kept a journal and I like to think about where we have been as a couple and a family and where we are going.

We have had to make a lot of choices over the years. When to have kids. To move across the country. To join the Military. To buy a house. To stay in Tennessee. To join the National Guard.

Sometimes it is way too easy to look back and think we shouldn’t have made certain choices.  I don’t like to look at my life like that. Is it possible we made bad choices in the past? Yes. Does that mean the rest of our lives are messed up? No.

One of the biggest life-changing choices we made was for my husband to re-enlist in the Military at age 30. This was something that we talked about for months beforehand. We had no idea what his time in the military would be like once we made that decision.

We were diving into the unknown. While my husband had been in the Army before, that was when he was a lot younger, and way before I came into the picture. Being a soldier with a wife and child was going to be completely different for him, and becoming an Army wife was going to be totally different than anything I was used to.

As I think back over the last 15 years as a Military spouse, there have been many blessings in our marriage because of our time as a military couple.

Don’t get me wrong. Would I have preferred to have a husband who never had to go away? Perhaps, but that wasn’t how life has been for us. 

As I look back over those 15 years, I can see that there are blessings in a Military marriage.

Homecomings can be the highlight of our Military experience. The feeling you get when you see your spouse again is hard to explain unless you have been through a homecoming. Knowing that the months of waiting and worrying has come to a close and knowing you will finally be back in each other’s arms can be the spark that your marriage needs.

Watching your spouse in their uniform can be inspiring. You know they are doing something good in the world and you are there to support them through it. You and your spouse are a part of history, working to make the world a better place. There is just something about feeling that way that can help your marriage thrive.

Deployments can help your relationship to grow even stronger. You start to appreciate one another in ways you never would have if they never had to go away. You constantly remember why you fell in love in the first place. You learn to trust one another across the miles.

But also, never be afraid to reach out for extra help if you don’t feel that way. Different couples handle distance in different ways. There are many resources out there to help too.

PCSing every few years can also be a challenge, especially if you have to PCS to a place you don’t want to go. But there is also something about moving together, having to work through those struggles together, having to be the “new person” together, that can bond you together in many different ways.

While the day to day of military life can feel so heavy sometimes, there are blessings of a military marriage. From growing stronger through the distance to being able to discover more about yourself which can lead to becoming a better partner.

If you are new to the military life and are worried a bit about your marriage, keep in mind that there are blessings of a Military marriage. As hard as the military lifestyle might be, they are there if you look for them.

How do you feel that the Military has blessed your marriage?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: blessings of a military marriage, military life, Military spouse life

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been an Army wife for almost 15 years now.

My husband of 18 years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, pcs moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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