Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

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Let AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan Help with Your Summer Bucket List

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This is a sponsored post by AAFMAA!

Let AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan Help with Your Summer Bucket List

Let AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan Help with Your Summer Bucket List

By Charlene Wilde

AAFMAA Assistant Secretary

MilSpouses are nothing if not resourceful. With school out and summer in full swing, it’s time for planning family fun, hustling kids to camps and activities, or tackling projects around the house. Personally, I can hardly wait for a break from the frenetic hum of lunch packing, homework, book orders, and running for the bus so I can enjoy a lazy morning with nowhere to be. 

But money doesn’t grow on trees, and we all know that even summer days become tiresome, giving us a renewed focus to plan activities with friends, family trips, and other ways to fill the longer days. So, what are the options to get the funds needed to fuel your goals and summer bucket list? AAFMAA not only understands the military lifestyle, we’re living it right alongside you — and we can make it even easier than you think. 

AAFMAA offers a $5,000 CAP Loan that lets MilSpouses take control and keep their family finances on track. It’s reliable, affordable, and able to help Active Duty military families achieve that secure financial future we all strive for. With a host of other benefits, you won’t get from any other financial solution, it’s our way of continuing to thank you for being part of our AAFMAA family. 

Here’s how our $5,000 CAP Loan stacks up against other options, such as credit cards and other consumer loans: 

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If you’d like to hear more, check out this video on the $5,000 CAP Loan from AAFMAA’s Chief Operating Officer, Carlos Perez. He discusses how you can use the loan any way you want, with a low 1.5% APR and 5 years to pay it back. There’s no credit check, no collateral required, and no prepayment penalties — making it simple to apply and get started on checking off your summer goals. 

Whatever the season has in store, we at AAFMAA are here to help you make it fun, affordable, and part of your ongoing plans for a secure financial future. 

Ready to get started? Visit us online at www.aafmaa.com/cap or call us at (800) 991-0268 with your servicemember spouse to start their application for AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan today.

What Memorial Day Really Means to the Military Community

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What Memorial Day Really Means For the Military Community

Memorial Day…a day for a BBQ, spending time in the pool, or an extra day off work?

Yes, but…

For the Military community, Memorial day is a little different.

We do have BBQs, and we do spend time in the pool and have an extra day off work, but we also remember those who have lost their lives, in a very personal way.

Each of us knows a Gold Star family. I know many of them personally. Friends who became widows during our past deployments, friends who have received that knock on the door, friends who will never be the same.

They are who I think about on this day.

  • I think about how we all said goodbye to our husbands together, yet some did not return.
  • I think about my husband telling a fellow soldier what it was like to be a Dad, only to have that soldier lose his life the very next day. His wife was pregnant with their first baby.
  • I think about reading that email about the soldier who died and realizing I knew that last name. The name belonged to a friend of mine.
  • I think about hearing my husband talk about his buddy. How they had a lot in common. How he was a family guy too. And then receiving a phone call while I was in Vienna of all places, that he had also been killed in action.
  • I think about the fence outside the elementary school in Germany with the photos of those who we had lost during that long 15-month deployment.
  • I think about the little children that will never know their own fathers because they died before they were old enough to be able to remember them.
  • I think about the older children that still feel the loss so greatly years later.
  • I think about the Moms sending their children off to war only to get the knock on the door that they were not coming home.
  • I think about the end of a Memorial service when they call for the soldier and he does not answer. I think about how heartbreaking that really is.
  • I think about the table that sits empty at every Military Ball.

This is what Memorial Day means to the military community. We can’t help it. As a Military spouse, I have experienced all of this, and so have so many others.

Memorial Day is real life, not just something that happened 50 years ago. Memorial Day hits us hard, in so many different ways. Memorial Day is a time to reflect and remember, and mourn for those who have paid the ultimate price.

So when you are enjoying your day off, enjoying a BBQ, spending time with your family and friends, please remember the Gold Star families who are missing someone.

Remember what they have been through and what they have given up.

Say a prayer and remember that freedom is just not free. Freedom always comes with a cost.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

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This post is in partnership with Gillette’s new SkinGuard razor – new at Walmart today.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years now. However, for the first three years of our marriage, he was not in the military. We lived a civilian life, and he didn’t have to worry about being as clean shaven as he does now.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

Being a service member means you have to stick to a few rules about facial hair, and the length of the hair on your head. As my husband is in the National Guard now, he doesn’t have to shave every day, but he often does anyway. If he has a longer period of time between drills, he might grow out his beard.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

When this happens, I tend to get used to that look, but then, one day, he shaves the beard off, gets a haircut, and looks military-ready again. This can be quite emotional for me sometimes. When he shaves like that, it reminds me of his promise to the military, and what he is going to do. Most of the time this means just a weekend drill, but other times it means he is going to be gone for longer periods of time.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

Gillette has come out with a brand-new razor called SkinGuard that is designed for men with sensetive skin and who often get razor bumps when they shave. This is perfect for our men in uniform, who have to maintain that close shave day after day. Anyone who shaves on a regular basis knows how frustrating and painful it can be to come away with razor burn or other issues.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

This Gillette razor is perfect for my husband, and even my son who has started to shave too. Being able to shave every day without worrying about razor burn or razor bumps is a big plus, and really quite necessary for those in uniform who have to shave every single day.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

The razor’s unique SkinGuard bar is positioned between the blades to minimize “tug and pull,” to cut the hair at the skin level, helping to prevent irritation. The precision trimmer on the back is great for hard-to-reach areas and styling facial hair. It is like a barbershop shave in the comfort of your own home.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

Gillette’s new SkinGuard Razor is brand new and can be found at your local Walmart stores. For great results, you can also use the new PURE by Gillette shaving gel, or PURE by Gillette shaving creams which you can also find at Walmart.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

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You Always Remember Your First Military Home

It’s been 13 years since I got on an airplane with my 18-month-old son, and really started our military journey. My husband had left for Germany 4.5 months before, and we were finally joining him.

And while I had technically been an Army Wife for the last 4.5 months, this trip would open the gate to my first experience in Army living. While I had grown up between two military bases, and I knew kids whose parents served, the military had never been my world.

And now the military was very much my world, and I was nervous.

How could I not be?

Not only were we becoming a military family, but we were doing it in a different country. I have never been to Europe before and didn’t know what to expect. Germany would be an experience.

After a full day of travel, my husband picked us up at the airport and took us to our first Army home. It was a 2 bedroom stairwell apartment, on the 3rd floor. We had Army rented furniture, with a lovely maroon pattern, and made that place a home.

We ended up living there for over two years before we moved to another duty station in Germany. That home will always have a special place in my heart. And that wasn’t because I loved that apartment.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

The apartment was new, which was nice, and we had a washer and dryer in our bathroom, which not everyone had. But it was also on the smaller side, and when people visited, the space became way too crowded. As my 2nd son became a toddler, I had a difficult time with the idea that we had to live there.

My downstairs neighbors heard us every time we walked anywhere and with a toddler, that wasn’t fun at all. I tried to stay as quiet as possible, but toddlers.

When I was pregnant, and my husband was deployed, being on the 3rd floor made things a little tricky. Going up and down those stairs more than once a day was almost impossible. Then, when my baby came, that was an added challenge.

I had to get creative when I would come home and both of my boys would be asleep in the car. I couldn’t possibly carry both in my arms at the same time. Should I leave one in the car? Should I wake up the sleeping toddler?

Buying groceries was a challenge too so I would end up going a few times a week and just buying enough food to be able to carry in a couple of bags. That way, I didn’t have to take a full load up by myself. If only we had a grocery delivery service back then.

Our apartment was in the back of the building which meant we had a fabulous view of Germany, and I loved waking up to that. When the weather was bad, I could pretty much see the storm coming. That view was a lovely thing in the midst of a crazy time.

I got through our long 15-month deployment in this apartment. Through the days he was gone, the challenges that I dealt with, and the lonely nights.

I will never forget that place. I have heard the buildings have been torn down, so no matter what, I will never be able to see that place again. But our first military home will always be in my memories as the place I learned how to Military Spouse.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

That home is where I lived when I met my first military spouse friends.

That home is where I wrote love letters to my husband to send to Iraq.

That home is where I learned how to stay as busy as possible, and where I realzied I was not alone in my military spouse ourney.

At the end of R&R, my husband leaned over and gave our 2.5-week-old a kiss goodbye in that apartment, not knowing he wouldn’t see him until he was almost a year old.

My husband met our son in that apartment, coming back from Iraq, three days after he was born.

As a new military spouse, I spent a full jet-lagged day, trying to figure out this new life that we had started, the day after we landed in Germany.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

As military spouses, you will probably live in many different homes. I know some seasoned spouses who, at retirement, have lived in 20-30 different places. But, I think, no matter how many times you have moved, most people remember that first military home.

They remember what it was like to see the military movers arrive and bring all your household belongs in, praying they don’t break anything important.

They remember meeting their first military spouse neighbors and realizing how much they had in common.

They remember how it felt when they saw their spouse walking in the door in uniform, after a long day of work.

Going forward, they will probably always compare every other home with this one. They will probably think about how different that first home was from what they have now. And they might even miss the place, some more than others.

That first military home could bring up difficult memories, of times before things changed, of a former life. And for some, thinking of that home can bring up some hard to deal with emotions, and maybe just maybe they want to forget all about that place.

And for others, that home could have been the place where they discovered they were strong enough to get through anything, where they found themselves, and where they grew up and became the person they are today.

What about you? Do you remember your first military home? Do you ever miss it?

6 Things You Should Remember When You Are Struggling With Military Life

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6 Things You Should Remember When You Are Struggling With Military Life

Sometimes, when my husband is gone, or even if he is home, the stress overwhelms me. I find myself in a place I don’t want to be in. There is too much going on, too much to think about, and my emotions are all over the place. I end up in a bit of a funk and feel like I am on the struggle bus.

But…

In those times, there are things I have to tell myself, things I have to remind myself of, and doing so puts me in a much better place. If you have ever felt like you are struggling with military life, you know what I am talking about.

You know that you can’t snap your fingers and have a deployment go away. You know you married a military service member and with that comes military life. But what you really want is to get to a better emotional place.

Here are six things to remember when you are struggling with military life:

Everything changes

No matter what you are going through, remember everything changes. Whether you are going through a deployment, waiting on a PCS, or just struggling through something, things will change, as they always do.

Change can be difficult, you might not want to move, you might not want the deployment to start, but change happens and we just have to go with it, knowing that eventually, things will get to a better place.

Some days I might be feeling down because I simply can’t make a decision on something important. I hate that. But I have to remind myself that time can make things a little more clear. And if it isn’t something I have to decide ASAP, I can give myself time to figure it out.

You have been through hard stuff before

Here’s the deal. You have been through hard stuff before. You have. Maybe you haven’t ever been through a deployment before, maybe this is the first time you have ever moved, but life in general can bring difficult situations, and you have been able to get through those in the past.

Maybe it was messy. Maybe you felt defeated. But you got through to the other side. Remember that.

You will grow through this

We always grow through our struggles, even if we can’t see that at the time. Journaling during your struggles can help, talking with a good trustworthy friend can help, and thinking about how you have changed for the better through it all can help.

And as you grow as a person, you can help others too. You might find yourself in a situation in the future where you can be there for someone going through what you are going through right now. We as humans can help one another out, simply because we have been there before.

Don’t take on other’s stress

One thing you don’t want to do is take on someone else’s stress. People do stress about all types of things and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all of that, epecually when you see it all the time on social media.

Try not to take on other people’s stress and focus on what you need to focus on. Think about what is best for you and your family. Don’t worry about things that don’t have to do with your current situation and you will be better for it.

Don’t forget to breathe

I know, easier said than done. But give yourself time to breathe. We say it is best to stay busy during a deployment, and it is. But if you are too busy, you could end up stressing yourself out even more.

Try to find that balance and give yourself a break. If you feel like you are doing too much, you migjt be. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe. You don’t have to say yes to everything. And if being too busy is the reason for your stress, take a step back to find some peace.

Count your blessings

Sometimes we really just have to take a step back and count our blessings. Living without your spouse for months at a time is not an easy thing to do. Having to say goodbye to friends and family all the time can be heartbreaking. Military life isn’t an easy life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be thankful for the great things that are true about our lives.

Thinking about what we do have can help. Yes, your husband might be deployed for six months, but he does love and care about you and your kids. Yes, you do have to move again but now you have a new state to explore. Yes, military life brings on a lot of stress but you have meet some amazing people to walk through this life with.

There will probably come a time when you do struggle with military life. Things are not adding up the way you want them to. You are feeling frustrated because you can do what you are wanting to do.

And that’s hard.

But, if you are married to a service member, you can’t easily just walk away from military life, and so you need to figure out how to get through these feelings and get to a better place emotionally. And once you find ways to do that, military life will seem a little more manageable and you will feel like you can get through so much of what this life brings.

What do you do when you feel like you are struggling with military life???

9 Things You Wish Were True About Military Life

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9 Things You Wish Were True About Military Life

Military life can be a crazy ride. From deployments to PCSing every few years, this life isn’t without its struggles. Some days we wish we had a magic wand to make everything a little easier.

So let’s have some fun…here are 9 things you wish were true about military life:

  • That every deployment came with a nanny

Let’s face it, us military spouses can get burned out really quickly when it comes to solo parenting. What if every military family received a nanny with deployment orders? That would make life so much easier!

  • That you could use a “Get out of deployment free” card

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could get out of a deployment because it wasn’t the right time, or your kids were too young, or because you just didn’t think you could handle another deployment with everything going on? The reality is, there is never a good time for a deployment but we plow through anyway.

  • That you could PCS somewhere simply because your BFF did

Wouldn’t that be amazing? Your BFF went to Fort Carson, that means you get to go there too. How fun would that be?

  • That ALL military housing was nice, safe, and you wanted to live in it

Unfortunately not all military housing is created equal. And sometimes housing can make people sick. Wouldn’t it be nice if all military housing were up to code, was nice and safe, and allowed everyone who lived there to have a good home they enjoyed living in?

  • That your spouse could get leave when they needed to, and planning family vacations would be easier

Have you ever had to change the dates of a trip because of the Army? We sure have. If only leave dates could be taken at the perfect time, and could never be changed.

  • That every FRG meeting would be filled with information you need to know with zero drama

Some FRGs are amazing but a lot of them get a bad rap, and maybe for good reason. Wouldn’t it be nice if the FRG was always a fun place to go, with lots of great information, and without any drama? Maybe us military spouses do have the power to change the FRG into a good and helpful place for military spouses to go 🙂

  • That you could always shop at the Commissary on payday without the crowds

What if you never had to wait more than a few minutes, even if you do go to the Commissary on payday? That would be nice!

  • That it would be easy to make friends no matter where you go

Making friends during military life can be a little bit frustrating sometimes. Yes, you have to get out there but sometimes that isn’t enough. What if making friends was easy, no matter who you are, and where your PCS to?

  • That all the challenges when it comes to military spouse employment would go away

There are so many spouses that have to put their career on hold or had to pursue something different because they are married to someone in the military. What if these challenges could go away? What if things were a little bit easier when it comes to a military spouse and their own career?

This list can be a lot of fun, and hopefully made you laugh a little but the reality is, there are things you can do to change and make military life a little better for your family and others.

Be kind. Make friends. Work for changes. And don’t be afraid to figure out a way to make things a little better for everyone.

What about you? What would you want to change if you had the power to do so?

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

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How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Veterans day is coming up this next weekend. A day to honor those who have served, whether they did so years before you were born, or doing so now. And every year, you might wonder the best way to honor the veterans in your life.

Maybe you are married to a veteran, maybe your dad or mom or a grandparent or someone else in your family has served. Maybe you just want to give back to the veteran and military community as a whole.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Here are some things you can do to really support a veteran this Veterans Day:

Listen to their stories

Listening to the stories of our veterans is important. Whether they are talking about their time in Vietnam, or about their last tour of Iraq. Read books written by veterans about what they have been through and what they have learned through the years. Hear what they have to say, and carry their words with you.

Offer them a discount

If you have a business, offer them a discount. If you own a restaurant, offer them a free meal on veterans day if you are able to. Even a 10% discount is a nice way to thank them for serving. And let people know you do offer this discount.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Vote with them in mind

No matter what side you are on, vote for veterans in mind. Think about the different policies that might support or hurt veterans. What will help them the most? Check and see if those who are running are veterans and what they have to offer your community.

Simply thank them

A simple thank you can go a long way. A thank you says that you notice them and that you care. And it won’t cost you anything to do so.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Support veteran-owned businesses

Support veteran-owned businesses when you can. Many veterans might start a business after they get out of the military. Learn about local veteran-owned businesses in your community. Shop local veteran-owned businesses when you can and share about what they have to offer for others to see.

Donate to help veterans

If you can, donate to help veterans in your area. Even if you don’t have a ton to give, every little bit counts. Organizations like Disabled American Veterans (DAV,) Blue Star Families, The Gary Sinise Foundation, Hope for the Warriors, and Operation Homefront are great places to start.

Volunteer to help veterans

There are so many places you can volunteer to help veterans. Most organizations that help veterans could use volunteers whether it is helping them serve a meal, decorate for a holiday party, sort clothing, or even donate items in need. See what is available in your local community and don’t be afraid to step up and offer some help.

This veterans day, think of all of those who have served. Those who have done so through peacetime, as well as wartime. Those who did so before 9/11 and those who did so after. Those who have signed up for 20+ years, and those who only served for a couple.

Thank you to those who have served our country, we are forever grateful.  

What is your favorite way to support veterans? 

 

No, Your Military Man Doesn’t Need Money For Food

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No, Your Military Man Doesn’t Need Money For Food

No, Your Military Man Doesn't Need Money For Food

This post contains affiliate links! 

As a military spouse blogger, I do get emails or messages from military girlfriends that are a little concerned about the military service member they are dating. There is something about the relationship that doesn’t sit right to them. Their gut is telling them something, and something just doesn’t feel 100% right.

The situation is usually that a woman has met someone online. This is of itself isn’t strange in 2018. A lot of people meet online, and many happy and successful marriages and relationships result from doing so, both in and out of the military.

But in this case, after meeting online, the woman is sent photos of a service member. She is led to believe she is now talking with or dating a member of the US military. They might have a name, backstory, and a history of military service.

Then, at some point, the service member asks her for money.

This is where things get tricky…

He might say the money is for food, or to take leave. There are many different reasons they might give. The problem with this is that someone who serves in the US military doesn’t need food for money or to take leave. This is provided for them.

No, Your Military Man Doesn't Need Money For Food

When my husband was deployed, he might have needed money for things like the internet, fun items, etc. But never for regular meals. The military provides those. The military paid for and sent him home on leave, I didn’t have to send anyone money to do so.

The scam works in different ways, but these “service members” want you, the unsuspecting girlfriend to send them money, or to even send money to a service. The amount they are asking for blows me away. It’s not just $10 here or there, but into the hundreds or thousands.

If a woman gives into this scam, not only will she be out the money but also heartbroken over finding out that what they felt was a real relationship, really wasn’t.

My friends at Army Wife 101 have written a book all about this topic! Knowing what is real and what isn’t is so important when it comes to meeting and dating service members online.

Like I said before, there are honest and real service members out there, and some amazing relationships that have started from online dating. But there are also scammers and people who will lie and fake their way into getting what they want.

The Savvy Girls Guide to Outsmarting Fake Military Scammers by Jackie Toops and Krystel Spell talks about all of this.

In the book you can learn about:

-true stories of other women conned out of money

-surefire tips to know if your potential online soulmate is really who they say they are

-proven methods to help safeguard your heart and your finances

-a safer way to find and date “REAL” military personnel

You can purchase their Ebook for just $10! Click here to visit Army Wife 101 and purchase your book!

The online world is amazing, but can allow people to take advantage of others. Learn how to protect yourself and stay away from the scammers!

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

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Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

Have you heard of the restaurant, Mission BBQ? We just got one here in the Fort Campbell area last year and I was excited to try their yummy food. I have heard such good things about them over the years. As I walked in the first thing I noticed was their decor. On the wall was everything you can imagine honoring the military as well as others who serve their community.

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

I ordered the pulled pork sandwich and enjoyed my meal immensely.

Mission BBQ first opened on September 11, 2011, by two friends who were passionate about BBQ, being patriotic, and running a business with meaning and purpose.

This from their, “Our Story” section of their website says it all:

“We believe there is nothing more American than BBQ. And nobody more American than the brave men and women who have sworn to protect and serve Our Communities and Our Country. We do what we do for the love of our soldiers, firefighters, police officers, first responders—all our loved ones in service.”

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

 

When you go to a Mission BBQ, you can have a good meal, in a patriotic dining room. If you happen to be there at noon, you can be apart of the daily salute to our country as everyone stops to sing the National Anthem.

There are quite a few choices of what to eat when you go to Mission BBQ. You can enjoy brisket, pulled pork, turkey, pulled chicken, sausage, sides, and more. They even have a kid’s menu for the younger ones.

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

 

 

You can also get food delivered to parties of five or more and can find Mission BBQ in 13 states at the moment.

Mission BBQ is also known for giving back to their communities which is such a nice thing to hear these days. They have military appreciation nights where all the sales from the night are donated to a variety of organizations. These have been organizations such as the USO, the Navy Seal Foundation, and Wreaths Across America.

They truly give back to the military community!

Have you ever been to a Mission BBQ? You can search for one near you and plan to visit as soon as you can 🙂

 

Don’t Miss The Costco Military Hour Event On March 24th

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Don’t Miss The Costco Military Hour Event On March 24th

This is a sponsored post! 

 

Raise your hand if you like Costco? I know I do! Costco was one of the places we had to go when we visited home while living in Germany. You can always find something fun to buy and you gotta love the free samples.

I wanted to let you guys know about the Costco Military Hour event coming up March 24th from 8 am to 9:30 am!

What is Costco Military Hour?

The Military Hour is for you and your family to shop together before the doors open to the general public. You will be able to mix and mingle with your local military community, enjoy free samples, exciting product demos, and delicious snacks. The first 100 attendees will receive swag bags filled with goodies!

Sound like fun?

You will need to be a Costco member to attend but if not, no worries.

You can purchase your Costco Membership Activation Certificate today at this link https://hosted-pages.id.me/costcomilitaryhour‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ Take advantage of an exclusive new membership offer for military members who join Costco as new members.

This event will take place at 117 of the warehouses across the U.S. You will need your military ID or your registration confirmation to show at the door at the selected Costco location.

Please visit https://shophourevent.com/ to RSVP to a location near you.‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌