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You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse by Jen McDonald

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You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse by Jen McDonald

Exciting news!

Jen McDonald’s book, You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse has an updated version!

Since its first publication in 2016, You Are Not Alone has resonated with military spouses, both new and experienced, and ranked as a bestseller in the Military Family and Christian Devotionals categories. Each of the 30 daily readings is written from the perspective of faith.

Readers will find practical tips (“Basic Training for Spouses”), related Scripture, and journal prompts for further reflection. Whether it’s a deployment, move, the challenges of military spouse life, or raising military kids, you’ll find real-life inspiration and hope from someone who’s been there. The 2022 edition has been updated and reformatted for a better reading and journaling experience, along with having a beautiful new cover design. It will be coming soon on audiobook, as well!

Jen McDonald sent me a free copy of the book for review, and I wanted to share a little bit about the book.

First of all, I love how the book is set up. There are 30 days of readings and each day starts with a quote. There is then a bit of a story section, and then actionable advice. This is followed by a scripture, and then some questions to ask yourself. The chapter ends with a prayer.

There are 7 parts:

  • My Identity as a Military Spouse
  • Military Spouse Friendships
  • Military Marriage
  • A Life of Transition: Moving With the Military
  • Dealing With Military Seperations and Deployments
  • Military Family Life
  • God is There in the Small Moments

She has also included some amazing resources in the back of the book.

I would have loved to have read this book as a new military spouse. Back then, I needed all the encouragement I could get. I still do sometimes today!

If you are interested, Jen is also hosting a book study, You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse in the Christian Military Spouses Facebook group that started Feb. 9, and anyone is welcome to join. She will be giving some behind-the-scenes insight and comments on each section as well as providing extra questions and journal prompts.

You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse by Jen McDonald is published by Little Things Press and is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other book outlets.

Whether you are a new military spouse, have been one for a while, or even getting ready for the retirement years, this book will encourage you, allow you to put things in perspective, and have a better military spouse life.

Missing You, On Christmas

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Missing You, On Christmas

Another Christmas and yet you are gone, across the ocean, serving our country.

We knew this was a part of the deal, and yet, that doesn’t make it any easier. You are gone, away from us, and all we want for Christmas is you.

As the days get closer to the 25th, my heart feels a little less thrilled with the idea that we are so far away from one another. There is something about this holiday, more than any other, that you should be home for. And yet I know, the military doesn’t work like that. Life doesn’t work like that.

I know as a military spouse, just because I want them to be home doesn’t mean they will be. Just because I think they should be home, doesn’t mean they can be. I have to go with the flow, even if that flow hurts.

As I set up the Christmas tree, I can’t help but hold back a tear. I can’t help but think about the year before when you were here for all this. When you were right by my side as we decided on where each ornament should go.

As I set up the Christmas tree, I think about how hopefully you will be with us next year, and the year after, and the one after that. I hope and pray you never have to be over there during Christmas again. But how realistic is that type of prayer?

As I start to buy presents for our young children, I think about how you won’t be there to see them open them. To see the joy on their faces, and hear them laugh and get excited about Christmas morning.

I think about how I will make sure to record everything so that you don’t miss a thing, but you will anyway. That is just how it is. A million photos never make up for being there, no matter how many you take.

I think about how on Christmas Eve, it will just be me getting everything together. It will just be me putting the kids to bed in their cute Christmas PJs, and just me making sure the cookies and milk are out for Santa. It will just be me pouring some eggnog and watching a Christmas movie late into the night.

We will be missing you on Christmas.

As a military family, we have missed you so many times over the years. You have missed birthdays and anniversaries, and all the little things that make life special. And yet, I can’t help be feel like this is the road we have to be on. That you are a soldier, and I choose to follow you, even if it meant a Christmas away from you. Even if it meant missing you.

I think about how much you have given to this country. And how much more you will give. There will be more times apart, and more Christmases spent in different time zones.

But as I think about missing you on Christmas, I also think about how we can get through this, just like we have before.

You won’t be here for Christmas day, but we will be thinking of one another all the same. That is what we military families do. That is all we can really do when we are hit with missing each other so much.

Christmas won’t be the same, it can’t be, you are not here. But Christmas can still be special and we can still make some memories.

We are missing you on Christmas, as you are missing us. But we will get through this time apart. We always do and make it to the other side.

To Love a Soldier

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To Love a Soldier

To Love a Soldier

To love a soldier means to stand by him or her as they put on the uniform and commits to serving our country.

To love a soldier means wiping the tears away and promising to love them no matter how many miles away they must go.

To love a soldier means not understanding why things take so long or why things change so much.

To love a soldier means finding others that love soldiers and making friendships that last a lifetime.

To love a soldier means loving a man or women in uniform, wherever their career might take them.

To love a soldier means temporarily fulfilling the role of both mom and dad and being the default parent that your children know will always be with them.

To Love a Soldier

To love a soldier means having to explain to your child why their daddy had to miss another birthday.

To love a soldier means being a part of history as a spouse that stood by while their loved one fought for freedom.

To love a soldier means we have something in common with others that have loved their service member through our countries wars as well as peacetime.

To love a soldier means that we grow stronger as the years go by because we have dealt with realities others have not.

To love a soldier puts the words from our wedding, “in sickness and in health” front and center as we try to understand and help those coming home from war.

To love a soldier means being a military spouse, supporting our spouse and being part of an incredible group of men and women who are doing the same.

I love my soldier and the life we have created together. Through living overseas, multiple deployments and the twists and turns that this military journey has given us.

Whether you love a soldier or a service member of another branch, you know what this life is like. You know how hard this life can be, but you stand by them because you love them and that is the basis for getting through anything military life throws at you.

How long have you been a military spouse?

To My Children Born After 9/11

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To My Children Born After 9/11

To My Children Born After 9/11

What we can tell our children about that day, the ones that don’t remember the world before everything changed. The ones for whom the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the norm. The ones for whom terrorism has always been a known threat.

When I was in 1st grade, the Challenger exploded on live TV. I will remember that forever. When my parents were just becoming adults, Kennedy was shot. And so many young adults today might just remember their parents glued to the TV in September of 2001.

When you are a child, and a tragedy happens, you are usually aware that something is going on out of the norm. You might not even remember all the details of that day, but the event sticks with you. You rely on older generations to let you know what happened and what the tragedy meant.

As far as 9/11 is concerned, this is something that happened before my children were born. To them September 11th wasn’t something they lived through, it was something they were told about. 9/11 is something they can look up in their history books and listen to stories from those who were there.

These children, these teenagers, these kids, they don’t know the world in which something like 9/11 didn’t even seem possible. On September 10, 2001, so many of us went to bed expecting the next day to be a typical September day. 9/11 was the phone number you called when you had an emergency; it wasn’t an emergency on its own.

For those in the military, 9/11 changed the directions of their careers. I can’t imagine what my military spouse life would have looked like had 9/11 never happened. If service members had never gone to Iraq or Afghanistan. If there had never been a surge or deployment extensions.

The wars my husband has been in have changed him, changed us, and changed our whole lives. I tried to explain this to my boys. That their Dad, he is a big part of what happened after 9/11. That if that day hadn’t happened, their lives would look very different.

I explained to them that the way to board an aircraft is different. When I was in college, my parents would wait for me at the gate when I flew home for visits. This is such a small change, but I can’t help remembering how things used to be. From having to take your shoes off to being careful about which liquids you bring, flying will never be the same again.

To My Children Born After 9/11

But for my kids? This is the way things are. This is the way they have always been for them. They don’t remember a time before all of this.

So when I talk to my children about 9/11, I want them to know that something we didn’t think would happen did. That we realized the horror that others could commit. That we had to make plans as a country to work towards keeping everyone safe and making sure what happened in New York City, never happened again.

I hope that I can take my boys to NYC someday. I have never been myself, but when we go, I would want them to see the 9/11 memorial. I would want to share more about that day. I want them to learn about the first responders and the heroes that emerged after it happened. I want them to know that history is important and what we learn from the past is what will help us move forward in the future.

How do you talk to your kids that were not yet born when 9/11 happened?

What Memorial Day Really Means to the Military Community

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What Memorial Day Really Means For the Military Community

Memorial Day…a day for a BBQ, spending time in the pool, or an extra day off work?

Yes, but…

For the Military community, Memorial day is a little different.

We do have BBQs, and we do spend time in the pool and have an extra day off work, but we also remember those who have lost their lives, in a very personal way.

Each of us knows a Gold Star family. I know many of them personally. Friends who became widows during our past deployments, friends who have received that knock on the door, friends who will never be the same.

They are who I think about on this day.

  • I think about how we all said goodbye to our husbands together, yet some did not return.
  • I think about my husband telling a fellow soldier what it was like to be a Dad, only to have that soldier lose his life the very next day. His wife was pregnant with their first baby.
  • I think about reading that email about the soldier who died and realizing I knew that last name. The name belonged to a friend of mine.
  • I think about hearing my husband talk about his buddy. How they had a lot in common. How he was a family guy too. And then receiving a phone call while I was in Vienna of all places, that he had also been killed in action.
  • I think about the fence outside the elementary school in Germany with the photos of those who we had lost during that long 15-month deployment.
  • I think about the little children that will never know their own fathers because they died before they were old enough to be able to remember them.
  • I think about the older children that still feel the loss so greatly years later.
  • I think about the Moms sending their children off to war only to get the knock on the door that they were not coming home.
  • I think about the end of a Memorial service when they call for the soldier and he does not answer. I think about how heartbreaking that really is.
  • I think about the table that sits empty at every Military Ball.

This is what Memorial Day means to the military community. We can’t help it. As a Military spouse, I have experienced all of this, and so have so many others.

Memorial Day is real life, not just something that happened 50 years ago. Memorial Day hits us hard, in so many different ways. Memorial Day is a time to reflect and remember, and mourn for those who have paid the ultimate price.

So when you are enjoying your day off, enjoying a BBQ, spending time with your family and friends, please remember the Gold Star families who are missing someone.

Remember what they have been through and what they have given up.

Say a prayer and remember that freedom is just not free. Freedom always comes with a cost.

16 Military Marriage Memes About Military Life

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16 Military Marriage Memes About Military Life

16 Memes All About Military Marriage

Military marriage is a journey. You never really know what you are getting yourself into. Whether your spouse joined five years into your civilian marriage or you walked down the aisle to see your spouse in uniform, knowing that marrying them meant becoming a military spouse.

Military marriage has unique challenges. We spend months away from our spouses, we play mom and dad more often than not, we have to PCS and move a lot more often, and we might be missing our own families a little more than we want to be.

Here are 16 memes all about military marriage:

military marriage

Remember to keep saying I love you, no matter how far apart you are.

military marriage

Sometimes military marriage is all about being trustworthy, patient, loving, creative and understanding!

military marriage

Remember, this is one of your difficult moments, every couple has them.

military marriage

So true! Every time you can be a full family is special!

military marriage

Homecoming is great but the time after deployment can be challenging for any military marriage.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

military marriage

This is what we, military spouses do, we stand by!

military marriage

So true! So very true! That meeting again is the best!

military marriage

Memories you will never forget! The good ones and the bad.

military marriage

Trust is a must! Without it military life is going to be close to impossible.

military marriage

Hard times make for stronger people!

military marriage

Yes! We all know what waiting on that phone call is like!
And what it’s like when we miss that call! Our spouse lives in our phone!

military marriage

Seriously! How many times do people say this to us?
And how many times do we just want to tell them they would do it too!

Yes! Even if they are across the world from each other, knowing you are loved by them is important.

military marriage

The military will have to come first sometimes.
Know, you are always first in his heart, even if it feels like the military is first in everything else.

military marriage

Yes! Remember all those times you were together, especially during the harder days.
That will help you through them.

Memes All About Military Marriage

Even though we know what this life might bring, we all kind of wish there were quite so many times apart.

Military marriages might have to endure what seems like way too many stressful situations, but military life can also strengthen your marriage. There will be ups and downs, good days and bad.

How long have you been married?

27 Military Spouse Memes for a Difficult Deployment Day

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27 Military Spouse Memes for a Difficult Deployment Day

If you have gone through a deployment or even a shorter separation you know you will have good deployment days and bad ones. Some mornings you will wake up ready to take on the world and others you will wonder how you will make it until lunchtime.

Deployments are like this. It’s their nature.

They are stressful and can be difficult to figure out how to get through them.

Since we all have bad deployment days, what can we do?

Here are some military spouse memes that can help you during a difficult deployment day:

military spouse memes

It can be way too easy to feel like your life is horrible or that it will always be that way during a bad deployment day. Remember, deployments don’t last forever and you will not always have to be missing your spouse.

military spouse memes

Sometimes you will have to just take the deployment an hour at a time. Other times you will be rocking things and the weeks will fly by.

military spouse memes

Deployments are the hard part but you go through them because they are a part of being married to your spouse.

Military Spouse Memes

Find friends and your favorite drink. Tomorrow is another day! And you can do all of this virtually if you need to. Technology has come a long way!

military spouse memes

Deployments can be a great time to reflect on the years you have been together.

military spouse memes

During bad deployment days, remind yourself why your spouse signed up for the military and what they are fighting for.

military spouse memes

The end is the hardest but you are strong and you can get through it all!

military spouse memes

Kick that deployment’s butt! You are strong! Remember that!

military spouse memes

Know that it is okay to say deployments suck. That just means you love and miss your spouse.

military spouse memes

Military life will make you stronger. If you don’t feel you are strong, you will get there.

military spouse memes

Remember your love. It can take you far. Especially on those difficult deployment days.

military spouse memes

Having a bad deployment day doesn’t mean you don’t support your spouse. They happen.

military spouse memes

You will never forget these things. Those feelings might fade after time but you will always remember the day they came home and wonderful that feeling was.

military spouse memes

There are different ways to handle deployment. Never judge another spouse because she is handling things a little differently. That just makes things harder for the spouse that is already feeling less-than.

military spouse memes

So very true Charles Dickens, so very true.

military spouse memes

We are military spouses and deployments are what we do. Thank goodness for all the support!

military spouse memes

The deployment ache is the worst! If you are feeling that ache, know that you are not alone.

military spouse memes

Yes, family time is important and most people know that. However, you really understand how important that time is when you have to go months or even years without it.

military spouse memes

What’s in your military spouse toolkit?

military spouse memes

Margaritas are a great choice!

military spouse memes

What we have to be made of 🙂

military spouse memes

Remembering this helps. All couples have difficult times. Deployments could be yours.

military spouse memes

Know that your spouse loves you, even from across the ocean…

military spouse memes

You will have good deployment days and bad ones. When you are having a good one, make the best of the day. When you are having a bad one, know that tomorrow will be a better day…

military spouse memes

Military life can be hard because being a spouse means the military has to sometimes come first. Know that you are first in their heart.

military spouse memes

Finding peace can be a great goal. You might not get there every day but find things that make you happy and that will help.

military spouse memes

Remember, at the end of all this, when the deployment is over, you will be waiting for them to return and know that you made it through a deployment and anything that comes your way.

Are you going through a deployment right now? Need a little bit of extra support? Join me in my Facebook group 🙂

Let AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan Help with Your Summer Bucket List

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This is a sponsored post by AAFMAA!

Let AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan Help with Your Summer Bucket List

Let AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan Help with Your Summer Bucket List

By Charlene Wilde

AAFMAA Assistant Secretary

MilSpouses are nothing if not resourceful. With school out and summer in full swing, it’s time for planning family fun, hustling kids to camps and activities, or tackling projects around the house. Personally, I can hardly wait for a break from the frenetic hum of lunch packing, homework, book orders, and running for the bus so I can enjoy a lazy morning with nowhere to be. 

But money doesn’t grow on trees, and we all know that even summer days become tiresome, giving us a renewed focus to plan activities with friends, family trips, and other ways to fill the longer days. So, what are the options to get the funds needed to fuel your goals and summer bucket list? AAFMAA not only understands the military lifestyle, we’re living it right alongside you — and we can make it even easier than you think. 

AAFMAA offers a $5,000 CAP Loan that lets MilSpouses take control and keep their family finances on track. It’s reliable, affordable, and able to help Active Duty military families achieve that secure financial future we all strive for. With a host of other benefits, you won’t get from any other financial solution, it’s our way of continuing to thank you for being part of our AAFMAA family. 

Here’s how our $5,000 CAP Loan stacks up against other options, such as credit cards and other consumer loans: 

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If you’d like to hear more, check out this video on the $5,000 CAP Loan from AAFMAA’s Chief Operating Officer, Carlos Perez. He discusses how you can use the loan any way you want, with a low 1.5% APR and 5 years to pay it back. There’s no credit check, no collateral required, and no prepayment penalties — making it simple to apply and get started on checking off your summer goals. 

Whatever the season has in store, we at AAFMAA are here to help you make it fun, affordable, and part of your ongoing plans for a secure financial future. 

Ready to get started? Visit us online at www.aafmaa.com/cap or call us at (800) 991-0268 with your servicemember spouse to start their application for AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan today.