Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

PCSing

Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

by

Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

Even though some people’s orders have been delayed because of the pandemic, others are still moving or pcsing.

While it is a good thing military families can move on to the next step, it can be difficult when you are doing so during this time.

While you normally could be looking forward to getting to know your new community and for your kids to start at a new school to make friends, you feel like all of that might be on hold.

You want to get out and explore but how much can you really do right now? How can you figure out how to bloom where you are stationed if you can’t do what you normally do to get to know a new place?

Even if you aren’t new to your current duty station you may be feeling a bit restricted.

Your friend circle could have moved earlier this year and while you assumed you would get right back out there to make some new friends, COVID hit.

You may be awaiting orders to move somewhere new but they are delayed and you want to figure out how to enjoy the next six months at a place you are not too excited about.

Blooming where you are stationed doesn’t always come easy. Some places will be easier to love than others. But there is probably something good about anywhere you have to live, even if you have to hunt for it.

What can you do?

So what can you do? What is open and where do you feel comfortable exploring? This is going to differ for everyone and will depend on where you live.

Still…see what you can do. Use safety measures and make sure to follow the local regulations.

Accept the temporary setup

Okay I know it is hard but you might need to just accept things are not going to be the way you were hoping they would be. I know this is so hard because in some ways it feels like this is going to last forever.

Your kids might not be able to get out there and make new friends right away, but could they have a weekly Zoom call with friends they already know?

You won’t be able to introduce yourself to the moms in line at school pick up but can you say hi to a neighbor or talk over the fence on a regular basis?

You might not be able to attend all the fun events that normally go on in your community but you might be able to attend a social distancing event of some kind. Our local community still has a farmer’s market going on and there are other options to get out and explore part of the community.

Explore online

There is so much going on online these days. From virtual events to Bible Studies. From book clubs, to even concerts.

Check and see what your local communities might be doing and join an online event. This might feel different and weird but it could be a good way to learn about what is happening in your new community and you might even find ways to connect with others.

2020 is the worst but don’t let this year stop you from figuring out how to bloom where you are currently stationed. It might take some work but in the end, it will make life a little easier right now. And hopefully, 2021 will be an amazing year to see everything and explore the way you really want to.

9 Things to Do When You Are Impatient About a PCS

by

9 Things to Do When You Are Impatient About a PCS

How many of you are waiting on a PCS? Maybe you had orders to move and they were delayed because of what is going on in the world right now, maybe your original PCS date isn’t until later this year? Either way, waiting for a PCS can be difficult.

I have totally been there.

I couldn’t wait to PCS back to the US from Germany. I was so ready. And it seemed like we would never get there, but then the time finally came.

You can love your duty station and still be ready to PCS. You can hate your duty station, and struggle with extra time at a place you really don’t want to be. Whatever the reason, it’s hard to be patient waiting on a PCS.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to help you get through this time. Here are nine of them:

1) Remember the good times. No matter where you have been stationed, if you look hard enough, you have to admit there have been some good times. Maybe it is just that you love the deli you go to once a week, or maybe it is because you enjoy your daily walks. Whatever it might be, reflect on the time that you have had, journal your feelings, and pick some fun photos of your time there.

2) Make a bucket list for your new home. Spend some time online researching your new home. Figure out things you want to do once you get there. Take time to research now because once you get there, life might start moving pretty quickly and you might not have the time or energy to really look into what is there later.

3) Take up a new hobby. Cooking? Knitting? Photography? What can you do to stay busy? Focusing on a new hobby can take your mind off of the wait.

4) Look for a new home. This will, of course, depend on where you are in the PCS process. But, if you are looking for a home to buy or rent, you can start looking online. Even if your date gets pushed, you can get a sense of what is available in your new area or even help you make the decision to live on post or off.

5) Start going through stuff. It’s time to declutter. It’s time to go through everything. It’s time to see if your stuff sparks joy if you are into that. See what you can go through and what you can get rid of. It is easier to move with less stuff, and then you won’t run the risk of going over your weight limits.

6) Finish your current duty station bucket list. While you might not be able to do everything due to closures, you can see if there is anything else you can do before you leave. Maybe there is a park you have always wanted to visit or a local food you have wanted to try, now is your chance.

7) Blog about your duty station. Writing can be so good for you. Start a blog post about your current duty station. Don’t have a blog? I take guest post just about duty stations and would love to read what you have to say. The best way to learn about a duty station is from someone who has been there.

8) Buy something from your current duty station. We have this amazing painting that shows a soldier and his wife in downtown Schweinfurt by Lisa Parmeter, where we used to live. I am so happy I bought that because it is now on our wall and reminds me of our time there. See if you can purchase any local art or locally made crafts that you can take with you to your next duty station. You will be glad that you did.

9) Breathe. I know, this is hard. You just want to get moved. But you have to wait. And maybe you have downtime right now, maybe you don’t. Either way, remember to breathe and know this time will pass. And before you know it you will be knee-deep in boxes and PCS stickers.

Are you currently waiting on a PCS???

When You Are New, After a PCS

by 1 Comment

When You Are New, After a PCS

Your flight got in late, so by the time you got to the post hotel, you still didn’t have a good idea of where you now were. Where you would call home. Your next duty station.

You have seen photos and heard stories. Both good and bad. But this PCS has made you nervous and you aren’t sure all what to expect. 

As you wake up the next morning, you suddenly remember something you forgot to do before you left your last duty station. However, it doesn’t matter, you have moved on to the next place. This is your reality now.

You go out with your spouse and kids, go exploring. You might have to wait for housing and just hope that wait isn’t too long. The hotel is okay but the thought of having to stay there for a while makes you kinda hyperventilate. Especially with little kids.

You get things sorted out. You find the PX. You find the Commissary. Things are so different than your old post, how will you ever find your way around?

Days pass and you are still at the hotel but housing tells you only a few more days. Your kids are getting restless, your kids are getting anxious and so are you. You just want to get to your new house.

Your son wants to know when they will see their best buddy again and your daughter is confused about everything. She is only three and you are not sure she will even remember this move. You are not sure what your kids will remember about all of this. 

A few more days pass and then it is time to move in, to your new home. You question if living on post was the best choice, you just don’t know. You question if accepting this house was the right choice, or should you have waited for something else? 

Well, the choice has been made and it is time. Time to get to know the place that will be yours for the next few years. The place you will put your belongings and make yours, even with the white walls and tiny kitchen.

As you move your things in, you find your kids exploring too. You hope and pray the kids in this neighborhood are nice. You hope their parents are too.

Time goes on and you still feel so new. You had to ask someone where the MWR was, for a second time, you just can’t seem to remember. You worry you will never figure it out.

More time goes by and although some people have been friendly, you haven’t made any friends yet and you wonder what to do. Should you join that book club you have seen advertised? Should you take your kids to MOPS? It all feels a bit overwhelming.

More time goes on and you start to get used to the routine again. Everything has been unpacked, your kids are making friends and you are starting to find some of your new duty station’s hidden gems.

But still, you feel like the new girl, not sure how to find your people. Not sure of your place here. Not sure what to do next.

You miss your friends, you miss your people. You used to have a solid group. People to hang with, people to have fun with, people to get through deployments with.

But then, when you aren’t even noticing, you find yourself fitting in more and more each day. You are making friends, and finding your place. 

This new duty station is becoming your home. And your previous one is becoming a memory. And you have some hope that this move is going to be a good one, even though it took you a while to get there.

Just like everything else you have experienced in military life, you figured out how to make it through this PCS. To get to the other side. To get past the stress and the emotions of a move and a new home.

While you know that you will have to do all of this again in a few years, you hope that you can remember what you learned from this PCS. You hope that you will remember that as hard as saying goodbye is, there will be hellos in your future. You hope that you will remember that although so much of the move is stressful, a PCS is a good time for a new start, and a time to thrive in different ways than you have done before.

How many times have you moved with the military?

When It Is Time To Say Goodbye, To A Place You Called Home

by

When It Is Time To Say Goodbye, To A Place You Called Home

The day is finally here, and you can’t really believe it. The movers will be here at 7, or maybe 8. Hopefully no later than 9. They will come to pick up your household goods. You will see them again soon, after a five day trip across the county.

You can’t help but wonder how this happened so fast. Sure, you were ready to get out of here, four years is a long time in one place. Sure, you couldn’t wait to PCS, you had been dying to move closer to your family ever since your husband joined the military 10 years ago. But now that this move was really happening? You are a ball of emotions.

You wonder how you will say goodbye to the best friends you have made here. Will you ever see them again? Will they ever be able to visit?

You wonder how you will get to know a new community. That took a while when you first moved here. Will it take that long again?

You wonder how your kids will do. They have to start over in a new school. You know they are scared, how can you help them through?

You are not sure what you should do once you get there. Should you look for a job? Is it worth taking a few classes to get your license in a new state?

As you drink your coffee, waiting for the military movers, you hope you will like your new home. Your current place is the only home your three-year-old knows. There are so many memories in this small home.

You might hate how small the closets are, or how much in BAH you are giving up but this place is home, and now it is time to move to another one.

It is time to say goodbye to a place you have called home, and you know that is never easy.

You have gone through a PCS before, you can do this. You will shed a few tears and then move on like you always have. You will be on the road soon and this duty station will become a memory.

In the years to come, you won’t miss the traffic getting on post, but you will miss all the playdates you had at the park by Starbucks.

You won’t miss how difficult getting a well-child appointment for your kids was, but you will miss the little cafe you would meet your husband at for lunch sometimes, waiting to pick up your son from pre-school.

You won’t miss how hard making good friends here way, but you will miss the friends you did meet, the memories you made, and all the fun you had together.

A PCS is an emotional time for any military spouse. You have to say goodbye to a place you have called home. You might never return, and you might never see these people again.

We are so lucky to live in a time with Facebook so we can keep in touch very easily. We can text our friends as we head our separate ways. We can watch their kids grow up through photos, even though we probably remember them the ages they were when we said goodbye.

We can look forward to starting over in a new place. We trade humidity for Alaskan summers. We trade being close to home for overseas experiences. We learn to live anywhere and bloom where we are stationed.

And after a few years, it is time to move again. To start the process all over. To watch the moving truck come and go.

To clean the house one last time. To pack the car. And watch your past fade into the future.

And there will be tears, and there will be laughter, and there will be hope. Hope that in your new place you can feel at home again soon. That this PCS will be a little easier because you have been through it all before.

You have hope that you will make new best friends, ones you will make some amazing memories with.

You have hope that you will get to know a new community, and your new duty station will soon feel just like home sooner, rather than later.

You have hope that your kids will be okay, and will look at this as an adventurous part of their childhood.

It is time to say goodbye to a place you have called home, and you know that is never easy. But you also know that this move is apart of your military life journey. And that no matter how different your new place is from what you knew before, you will figure everything out, as so many military spouses have done before.

Are you PCSing anytime soon? Where will you be going???

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Moving On Post

by

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Moving On Post

The choice to live on post or off post is a personal one, depending on the military family, the location, and financial goals. What works for one family, might not work for another.

During your time as a military spouse, you might enjoy living on post in some places, and prefer living off post in others. Some families find they prefer to always live on post and others would rather always stay off.

When it comes to making the decision to live on or off post, it is best to know what you are getting into, what your options truly are, and weigh your pros and cons.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself before making that decision:

Will you save money living on post?

Saving money is one of the most common reasons why people choose to either live on or off post. You have to figure out what will work best for you based on where you live, your BAH, and what type of home you will be living in. Not everyone is going to come to the same conclusion, even at the same duty station.

You would need to figure out what type of home you would be given on post, and compare that to what you could afford off post. Look at what your BAH would be to help figure out your budget. You need to make sure to include utilities, gas to drive to post, and any other fees you might not have to pay if you live on post.

How long will it take each of you to get to work?

Think about your commute time. If you are on post, your service member could live just a few minutes from work. If you are off post, you might be a few minutes from your job. Think about how much you might pay in gas, how long you want to be in the car, and weigh the pros and cons.

How are the schools on post vs off?

Schools are super important when you have children. You want to send them to the best place possible. When it comes to which schools are better, either on or off post schools, it really depends. You can look at school ratings but your best bet is asking people whose children have actually attended those schools.

If you are not in the area yet, you can easily ask this kind of thing in local Facebook groups. Just keep in mind that one bad experience does not make for a horrible school and there could be different factors as to why each person had the experience they did. Having special needs kids and knowing what is available to them is also a big factor in making this decision.

What type of home do you want?

This is another big factor in deciding if you will live on or off post at your duty station. Are you okay living in an apartment, condo or duplex? Do you want land? Do you want to build your own house?

At some duty stations, you might be more limited than others based on what you can get on post. Sometimes there can be long waiting lists for housing and you have to take what you can get if you do want to live on post.

How much military do you want in your daily life?

If you live on post, the military is going to be a bigger part of your daily life than if you live off post. If you live off post, you, as a spouse, might not even have to go on post all that often. So this totally depends on what you want.

Your service member might want a little bit of space from work as well. They might want to drive 15 minutes in order to get home instead of feeling like they live right next to their daily job. Being on post means you will be closer to everything military related, but ask yourself if that is a good or a bad thing.

Does your family prefer to live on or off post? Or on or off base for those who are not Army spouses 🙂

9 Reasons Why PCSing Can Be Amazing, in GIFs

by 1 Comment

9 Reasons Why PCSing Can Be Amazing, in GIFs

Are you moving this summer? Summer is PCS season and so many military families will be going to a new duty station in the next few months. Some military families will be excited to PCS, and others, not as much.

PCSing can be such an amazing thing. Moving is a fresh start, and while super stressful, can be an exciting part of military life. When I talk to military spouses who have been doing this forever, they have such a fantastic list of places their family has called home.

In case you are feeling down about your future PCS, or maybe you just want a laugh, here are 9 reasons why PCSing can be amazing…in GIFs.

You get to have a new, or at least new to you house

Maybe it isn’t everything you ever dreamed of, but you will be able to make a home somewhere new, and sometimes that is refreshing. Even if it does look like a pineapple.

via GIPHY

Find new friends!

I know how hard saying goodbye to your friend circle is and doing so if never easy. But after a PCS, you have a chance to make new friends. Some of them will be in your life forever, and if you are struggling with friends at your current duty station, you can look forward to starting over somewhere new.

via GIPHY

You can get away from all the annoying bugs your current duty station has

Some duty stations get the nastiest bugs, others? Not so much.

via GIPHY

You love the snow and are excited about being in a place that gets some

But be careful, I heard that Colorado just got a bunch at the end of May. Be careful what you wish for.

via GIPHY

You hate the cold and now you won’t even need to own a coat

But even in Hawaii, you might want a sweatshirt, or so I have heard.

via GIPHY

You want a big reason to get rid of all the stuff you said you would get rid of years ago

Does it give you joy? No really? Does it?

via GIPHY

You need some space from your family who happens to only live two hours away

At first, being two hours away sounded lovely, until that meant you were required to go to every single family function. You love your family but you really want some space.

via GIPHY

You want to see the world and you figure that Germany is the perfect place to start

From Germany you can see most of Europe, and then beyond. It will be fabulous…hopefully…you do have two babies.

via GIPHY

You are finally going to be at the same duty station as your best friend

Finally! The PCS gods looked your way and you and your BFF will have the time of your lives, even if your spouses do have to deploy.

via GIPHY

This post contains affiliate links!

There’s a great resource in our community that can be helpful in this process. Our friends at PCSgrades and HomeScout have partnered together to allow for an easier experience. 💁‍♀️

Through PCSgrades, you can read reviews by our fellow military families for both on and off base neighborhoods, see photos and interactive maps of those areas along with school ratings. 🏫

Once you find a neighborhood you like, you can search for properties in that area using HomeScout which uses active MLS listings, the exact same data used by realtors. Throw in the cash rebates military families can receive through realtors found on PCSgrades and some great mortgage discounts…and it’s a win-win. 🤩


Please click here to get started—>>>https://bit.ly/2EvZa8o

The Milspouse Guide to Spring Cleaning

by Leave a Comment

The Milspouse Guide to Spring Cleaning

Spring is right around the corner, and a time to clean out our homes, and get things a little more organized. Maybe you are going to be PCSing this next year, or may you are not going to moving anytime soon, but either way, working on your home is a good thing.

Here are some fun tips to help you with your spring cleaning:

  • Remove extra PCS stickers, you know you still have some from your last move. Unless you want to make a PCS sticker ornament.
  • Do you really need to keep those curtains? You haven’t used them in the last two houses, and they certainly don’t fit in this one.
  • Go and deliver those bags that have been driving around in your trunk after you did some Marie Kondo in your home a few weeks ago. It’s time for them to go.
  • Pretend you actually are PCSing, what should you get rid of? Would you really want to move with all of your current household goods? Is now the time to replace your old couches?
  • Focus on yourself sometimes. Are you getting enough me time? What can you do to change that? Self-care is imporant, especially if you are in the midst of solo parenting.
  • Find space for all that military crap. The living room is not an ideal place. Clean out a closet, or buy some extra storage. And quit tripping over those boots.
  • Go through your kid’s toys, get rid of all the broken ones, the Mcdonald’s toys, and anything they don’t care about anymore. The fewer toys they have, the easier it is for them to keep their room clean. Also, this is an ongoing battle that you will have to deal with for years.
  • Delete those emails from your old FRG, you don’t need them anymore. That deployment ended in 2014. If they are still sending them to you? Shoot them an email asking to take you off the list. You have moved on.
  • Do something with all those love letters. Put them in a scrapbook, hang them on a wall, or put them in a frame. They are special and should be celebrated. Unless they are super mushy romantic…then, keep them in your underwear drawer instead.
  • Donate those old ball dresses. You never go anyway. And if you do sometime in the future, you have an excuse to buy another dress.
  • Put up those photos you have been meaning to put up since you moved in six months ago. You know you want to, you have a lot of great ones from your past duty stations. Make time for this and your house will thank you.
  • Dust. I know, dusting sucks. Make your kids do it. Pay them in cookies.
  • Go through your makeup. That stuff doesn’t last forever. And isn’t it nice to buy something new every once in a while? Don’t forget your brushes.
  • Go through your books. Keep the ones you love, and pass on the ones you don’t. Save the deployment ones, you never know when you might need them again. Sigh.
  • Go through your DVDs. Can you find these movies on Netflix? If so, get rid of them. Except for the ones you always have to watch when they are deployed. You never know when Netflix will pull them and you always want to have them on hand.

What do YOU like to do to spring clean your home? Any tips???

Being Stationed at Mountain Home AFB

by 2 Comments

Being Stationed at Mountain Home AFB

I am super excited to have Danielle from Letters to a Military Spouse to tell us all about what it is like to be stationed at Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho. If you would like to guest post about your duty station, please let me know! I would love to hear about your experiences.

Welcome to Mountain Home!

When I first found out, during my husband’s tech school, that we would be going to Mountain Home AFB, I’m not going to lie; I was slightly disappointed. Maybe I felt this way because we were only moving 4 1/2 hours away from where we both grew up or maybe it was because I had this image in my head that we would be going overseas. Either way, I was pleasantly surprised after I did some exploring of the base and the town surrounding it.

Since we lived a driving distance away, I decided to take a trip up and see it before my husband arrived home from tech school. I wanted to know what we had gotten ourselves into and I hoped I would be pleasantly surprised.

The base itself is a very nice and clean base. From what I could tell the housing on base is well kept and clean. In size, the base is comparable to any other base, but technically it is a smaller base as far as how many people live on it.

For families, you get more for your money living on base than you would renting a house off base. There is an elementary school for your children on base, but they will have to attend middle school and high school off base.

The housing office on base offers a craft for your kids once a week. There is also an indoor play gym that you can take your children to that will help them run off some of their energy. On sunny days you can spend the afternoon at one of the beautiful parks. The youth center offers before and after school care for your children, and during the spring and fall, you can enroll your children in sporting activities.

My husband and I decided to live off base because we live in an RV. So, because we chose to live off base, I would like to share with you what there is to offer off base. You should know that this town is rather small. I think I timed it once, and you can drive west and reach the end of the town within fifteen minutes or so. In town, you have all sorts of mom and pop shops. My all-time favorite restaurant in town is Apple Barrel. It’s this cute little restaurant that probably only has five tables. When you eat here, you take a trip back in time as you look at all the antiques that cover the walls. The food is to die for. They serve a variety of panini’s and sandwiches, homemade desserts, and yummy soups and chilies.  

Being Stationed at Mountain Home AFB

In town, we have two grocery stores, Walmart, directly off the exit, and Albertsons which is in town. For a small town, we have quite a few restaurants to choose from such as Wingers, Jack in the Box, KFC, Arby’s, AJ’s, Taco Johns, a deli, a sit-down Mexican restaurant, Smokey Mountain Pizza, and a drive-through Chinese restaurant.

Depending on where you live off base, you may have about a thirty-minute drive to the base. Once you reach the end of town, you have a long two-lane high way that takes you out to the base. Mountain Home is in the desert, so you should expect a lot of sagebrushes and tumbleweeds. You can see mountains from both base and town, but they are a decent distance away.

In the winter it gets decently cold, and you can expect to see snow. Since my husband and I are from Utah, I am used to the cold weather that winter brings, but if you are from a warmer climate and are PCSing during the winter months, I highly suggest investing in some warm clothing.

Mountain Home is located around 45 minutes south of Boise. Boise is a larger city that offers all the amenities you may miss while living in a small town. When you first arrive in Mountain Home, it may seem like you are in the middle of nowhere, but you will be happily surprised with all the outdoor activities that this area offers.

Bogus Basin ski resort is located right out of Boise. If you decide that you would like to go skiing, you can speak with Outdoor Rec on base and get slightly discounted tickets. If you are looking for a fun weekend trip, Sun Valley Ski Resort is about a two-hour drive from town. The Bruneau dunes are located 15 miles from town. You can see the Snake River in Glens Ferry. CJ Strike Reservoir, located 30 minutes away, makes for a fun day trip in the summer. Three Island state park in Glens Ferry is one of my favorite places to spend a fall or summer afternoon with the family.

For all you moving to Mountain Home AFB, I hope you enjoy what this cozy small town has to offer. Good luck on your upcoming adventure, and breath, you will get through this PCS!

My name is Danielle, I was born and raised in Utah but currently, reside in Idaho where my husband and I are stationed. Writing has been a passion of mine for about 11 years now. My background is primarily in both creative writing and journalism. Blogging is something I have always wanted to venture into, and I am finally taking the plunge in doing so. I never expected to become a military wife when my husband and I got married, but I have grown to love this crazy, fun, and sometimes trying life that we lead. On my blog, you will find both military related posts along with posts that pertain to writing tips as well as my creative work. Blog Link: Letterstoamilitaryspouse.com

The 10 Worst Duty Stations

by Leave a Comment

Duty stations are such a popular topic. People always want to know everything about where they are going to PCS or the differences in duty stations. They want to know all about the best duty stations and the worst duty stations.

I have thought about making a list of the 10 worst duty stations for a while. I know there are certain places where people just dread going, and maybe for good reason. These places aren’t the ideal, especially when you could get stationed at some amazing places.

However, I also strongly believe that you can “bloom where you are stationed” anywhere you might end up. That doesn’t mean you have to love your duty station, but that you don’t have to spend every day hating it, and that there are things to love about every place you might go.

So…what makes something the “worst” duty station? How can you get past that feeling? Well…here you go:

The 10 Worst Duty Stations
  • The duty station where your best friend just moved away from

Finding your military spouse BFF is the best, but when that happens, something else will too, your best friend will probably have to move away at some point. And if they don’t, you do. And that sucks.

What can you do to help? Stay connected with them, even over the miles. Work to meet new people. And remember all those precious mememorues you have had togetger.

  • The duty station far from your family

Being away from family can be difficult for some people, especially if this is your first duty station. But there is something special about being out on your own, and making somewhere new your home. Try not to dwell on feeling homesick so much and work to find a place in your new location.

  • The duty station you can’t find a job

You have worked hard, went to college, and as soon as it was time for you to find a job, your service member spouse gets orders overseas. Now there is no way to find a job in your field. This can be so frustrating.

You can stay behind, but that isn’t an option for most families. You can look and see what volunteer jobs you can get at your new duty station that you can add to your resume. You can think outside the box and try something different, or even work hard to find that ideal job, despite the difficulties of finding one where you are currently living.

  • The duty station that deploys your spouse too much

One question that comes up a lot is “how often is my spouse going to deploy if we PCS to this duty station” but that question is hard to answer. The number of times they deploy, how long they are gone, and anything to do with deployments depends on a lot of factors.

The best thing to do if your spouse is going to deploy a lot is find a good friend circle, fill up your calendars as much as you can, and know you are not alone in this.

  • The duty station with awful housing

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about bad housing at your duty station. You just have to deal with it, and try to make it your own. On the other hand, you might be able to move, either somewhere else on-post or off-post. Check out your options and go from there.

  • The duty station where you just can’t find your people

You assume that once you move to your new duty station, you will eventually find a fun friend group like you had before. But after a couple of months, it seems like you aren’t going to find your people. This is something we military spouses can struggle with.

If you find yourself in this position, make sure you are getting out there on a regular basis and trying to meet new people. Sign up for things you are interested in, take the kids to playgroups, and be friendly with those you meet when you are out and about.

  • The duty station that seems too expensive

There are a few places you could get stationed that will cost more than other places. This can be frustrating. Housing off-post might seem like too much or you might feel like your family can’t go out and do anything because of the costs.

Make sure you are doing your budget every month, find ways to save, and look for fun free events going on in your community.

  • The duty station you didn’t think you would end up

Maybe you just assumed you would always stay in the south, but now here you are on an airplane headed to Hawaii. And you are terrified.

Anything out of your comfort zone can be scary, but think of your new duty station as an adventure. Read up on the fun you can have where you are going, or the experiences of people who have lived there. And trust yourself to make the most out of your stay.

  • The duty station no one has ever heard of

Sometimes your spouse will get orders to a place no one has ever heard of. These can be smaller duty stations, or more specialty based and because of that, you can’t find much information on them. If you need to know about Fort Hood or Fort Campbell there is a ton of information out there but not so much on a duty station most people have never heard of.

See if you can connect with the FRG (if they have one) or other spouses in your service member’s new unit. If you do have to go in without knowing too much, see what your post or base has available to you to get to know the area. They might have a newcomers class you can join.

  • The duty station you have been before and didn’t want to return

Maybe you were stationed somewhere for a few years and hated it. Then you left. Now five years have gone by and guess what? Your spouse just received orders to go back. You are filled with dread.

But remember, the duty station you left in 2014 is going to be different than the one you PCS to today. Duty stations change, people move in and then move away, you could have a completely different experience in the same place. Do not assume that your first time there will be exactly like you second.

What makes or breaks a duty station for you?

What To Do When You Are Feeling Homesick At Your Duty Station

by 1 Comment

As a military spouse, you might be far from home and that isn’t always easy. Being the family member that misses everything is hard. Being the one that can’t go to the baby shower or misses birthdays on a regular basis is difficult to deal with. Being the one without having family nearby can be frustrating.

What To Do When You Are Feeling Homesick At Your Duty Station

As a military family you could end up in so many amazing places, Hawaii, Germany, Japan…✈️

You might end up on the East Coast when you have never been east of Utah before.

You might end up in South Korea when you never even thought about getting a passport before.

You might end up in Alaska, going through your first snowy winter after growing up in Florida.

Wherever you are stationed, wherever you are currently living, take advantage of the experience. I know that is hard to do sometimes, some places are easier to live than others but blooming where you are stationed is a must. Doing so will make the whole experience a lot easier for you and your entire family. 💐

However…whether you are happy where you are currently living or not, homesickness can set in.

There are days when you wish you could hop on a plane, and spend some time with your mom.

When you wish you could meet up with your best friend for lunch.

Or stop by and spend an afternoon with your grandparents.

If you have just moved to a new duty station, you might still feel lost, like you will never find your way or will never make a circle of friends like you had before. You might start to think that if you can only go back home, everything will be okay again.

But as a military spouse, you usually can’t go back home. Maybe your spouse can never be stationed nearby where you grew up. Maybe they can but it just hasn’t happened yet and you are not sure it ever well. Maybe your family has moved away and you know if you did go home, things would never be the same.

As a military spouse, you know that you will be living in different places, and at your core you know that the best thing to do is learn to love where you live, but that isn’t always easy.

Here are a few things you can do if you are feeling homesick at your duty station:

Connect to your duty station

Are you spending all of your time at home? Get out and explore and check out your new neighborhood. What are you interested in? Look for a group based on that. Find a new playgroup. Or, explore your base or post for fun events. The more time you spend getting to know your new home, the better.

Don’t dwell on the differences

Are you dwelling too much on how different your current home is from where you just came from? Make a list of positives about your current duty station look online if you need ideas. If you spend all of your time thinking about what you don’t have, that will make enjoying what you do have harder to find.

Focus on you

As military spouses, we can get stuck in the day to day duties of living this life. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to focus on yourself. What are your goals? Do you want to go back to school? Find a new job? Have another baby?

Spend some time thinking about how you are spending your days and how you can move forward with your goals. If you are spending time working on yourself, you won’t have as much time feeling sad about where you are living and what you are missing about home. You will be busier and find over time, that you really are loving your new experiences.

You might never get to a place where you never feel homesick again, but you can get to a place where your time at your duty station isn’t going to be the worst thing in the world. It might take time, but it is possible.

Where are you stationed? How have you been able to kick your homesickness and enjoy your current home?