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Truths about military life

7 Military Life Truths That Drive Military Spouses Nuts

March 24, 2025 by Julie

7 Military Life Truths That Drive Military Spouses Nuts

There are some military life truths that we military spouses don’t like. Often, there is nothing we can do to change them, but sometimes, we can. Either way, they really drive us nuts!

1. The Military is in control of so much of our lives

As much as we don’t want the military to be so much a part of our lives, as much as we say that it is THEIR career, not OURS, the military will be in your business. From your healthcare to where you live to whether or not you even get to spend the summer with your spouse, they are always there.

Sure, some spouses distance themselves quite a bit, but they will find that the military is always right around the corner. The best thing to do is embrace it, recognize it, and learn how to work with the military system the best way you can.

2. Our spouse missing the birth of our children

So many of us military spouses have had to give birth without our spouses by our side. Whether they were deployed to Iraq, in South Korea, or even across the country training, the military made it so they could not be there. This can be an overwhelming thought before it happens, but if you talk to people who have been through it, you will find that with the right support system, giving birth without your husband is something you can handle.

7 Military Life Truths That Drive Military Spouses Nuts

3. Not all military housing is good

Not everyone likes their military housing. Some of it is older and more run down. Some of it doesn’t make sense for a growing family. In many cases, there isn’t a whole lot you can do about this. You can always move off post/base, but sometimes that isn’t even an option.

4. Not everyone we meet is trustworthy

Sadly, not every military spouse you meet is going to be trustworthy. Just because they married someone who serves, that doesn’t mean they are a good person. So you do need to be careful about who you trust and who you put your faith in.

On the other hand, most military spouses are worth getting to know. We come from different backgrounds and different places, but we all know what it is like to miss our spouse, and we can help one another out. The military community as a whole has a lot to offer.

5. The pay isn’t always enough

Military pay isn’t always going to be enough. Many military spouses will find that their budget will require another type of income. While good financial planning and budgets go a long way, sometimes life is just too expensive.

If your spouse is lower ranking, it can feel quite overwhelming, especially if you have a few kids too. If you are a spouse looking to work forward in your career, knowing that money will help, and you can’t find a job, you are going to be pretty upset with the situation.

Remember that as your spouse moves up in rank, their paychecks will get better. Don’t be afraid to pursue your own career dreams, and make sure to have a clear budget. Being on the same page as your spouse regarding your money will also go a long way.

7 Military Life Truths That Drive Military Spouses Nuts

6. TRICARE can be a pain

TRICARE gives us some fantastic benefits, but sometimes TRICARE can also be a big pain. Dealing with them can all be a big headache between waiting for appointments, waiting on referrals, and being told they don’t pay for something we think they should.

The best thing to do is learn all you can about TRICARE and any future changes. Learn who to call and how to ask for what you need. Learn about the benefits and work hard to ensure your family gets them.

7. We can’t always find our people

One big piece of military spouse advice is to find some good friends to get through a deployment or military life in general. But it isn’t always so easy to find our people. Sometimes, we have to go months or even years without a best friend nearby.

As much as you put yourself out there, sometimes you can’t find anyone you click with. The only real solution to this is time. Remember, in the military community, someone is always leaving, and someone is always moving in. Every day is a new chance to find your people.


In the end, some of these truths can be changed. If you don’t like your military housing, you can move or even work for change. The pay isn’t enough, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your own well-paying career. Not everyone is trustworthy, but we can be that friend others can depend on.

What truth about military life drives you nuts???

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, Truths about military life

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

 

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I first became a military spouse in 2005 when my husband of 3 years re-joined the Army. Then, in 2014, he joined the National Guard. In January of 2024, he retired from the National Guard after 21 years of service.

During our time in the military, we got to spend 4 years in Germany as well as Tennessee where we now call home.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you through my articles and social media posts.

 

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