The Deployment Dread

Deployments! There was a period when deployments were my life. My husband was either preparing for a deployment, away on deployment, or newly home from one. It seemed like as soon as we had a few weeks together, they were talking about the next one.

This was exhausting!

Always feeling like I had to be prepared for a deployment started to get to me. That deployment dread, I hated feeling that way. I didn’t want to feel that way. But I also didn’t want to forget what was ahead.

This deployment dread is that pit in your stomach when you hear about your spouse going overseas.

It is when you hear a name of a country on the news and realize that is where they could be headed. Deployment dread is recognizing that they are going to miss your son’s next birthday or the start of a new school year.

Deployment dread is not a good thing to have. But what can do you do about it? Here are some ideas!

Remember the benefits

Remember that there are benefits to a deployment. Some are financial, and some are emotional. Although most spouses would prefer their spouse not deploy, doing so can bring about positive changes in your home.

From paying off debt to your spouse being able to move ahead in their career. If you can focus on these things more than what they will be missing, dealing with the deployment dread will be easier.

Focus on you

When you start to worry about the upcoming deployment, try to focus on yourself instead. What do you need to work on personally? What will you work on when they are gone?

For some this means going back to school, for others, this means working on a weight loss goal or even reorganizing their home. When you can come up with a list of deployment goals, you have something to focus on and get excited about even if your spouse is going to be away.

Enjoy your time together

Don’t turn the time you have together until the deployment starts into a depressing time. You will have break downs about a possible future deployment but overall, focus on spending time together. Make plans, have family time, go on dates, and talk about what you guys will do to connect the next time they have to go.

During the pre-deployment period, you might argue more than usual. This is normal but try not to let the arguing be your focus. Both of you are stressed because things could change soon. Work hard to make those memories together and enjoy all the time that you have before they have to go.

Remember, this too shall pass

Whatever is ahead of you, remember, you will get through it. Time will pass. Days will go by. And no matter how hard things seem, you will make it through the deployment. Life is filled with ups and downs. Some years will be better than others. Deployment years are going to be more challenging than nondeployment years.

Sometimes the deployment dread can be a lot worse than when they actually leave for deployment. There are a lot of fears associated with a deployment. Some of them are valid, and some of them are not. Keep in mind that your upcoming deployment will probably surprise you, and at the end, you will look back and be amazed at what you have done.

Connect with others

Find other military spouses to connect with. Whenever the deployment dread hits you, make plans with a friend or put something on the calendar where you can get out and meet people. Walking through the pre-deployment season with other spouses who understand will help you more than you realize.

Other spouses have been through this before and can give you good advice a long the way. And then, when the deployment starts, you will have people to depend on. You can help one another out, no matter how long the deployment might be.

Do you struggle with worrying about the next deployment even if there isn’t one on the calendar? How do you deal with it?