I Never Planned On Being A Military Spouse

I Never Planned On Being A Military Spouse

How is your life different than you thought it would be? Did you think you would be a military spouse?

Becoming a military spouse wasn’t something I dreamed about or planned for, even after I had met my husband.

I got married in 2002 to a man who had already served in the military a little over 2 years. He was only a few years shy of completing his 8 years of service. He was considered “Inactive Ready Reserve.”  

That basically meant he could be called up but the military wasn’t really a part of his life anymore. When 9/11 happened, I did worry that he would get called up and wondered what it would be like to be a military wife, but by the time we got married that didn’t seem too likely.

I didn’t see myself as a Military Spouse and did not think that was something that would ever happen.

When I married my husband and thought about the future, the military just wasn’t a part of my dreaming. I never thought that I would parent alone for so long. I never thought I would go 11 months without seeing my husband.

I had been in long-distance relationships in the past and I didn’t want that in a marriage. I didn’t think that should be a part of a marriage. That was for people who were dating, right?

I never thought I would have so much alone time in marriage. I never thought I would have to worry about my husband going to war.

I had a coworker with a boyfriend who was a marine. They got married and then he went overseas. I remember watching her write love letters and I just couldn’t imagine that kind of life. I had no idea that just three years later, I would be the one to write those love letters to my own husband who was overseas.

Sometimes I wonder if all this sacrifice is worth everything we have gone through.

Sometimes I wonder what our life would have been like had he never joined the military. Sometimes I wonder if we should have picked a different path. Sometimes I just wonder if making this decision was the best thing to do.

When I married my husband, I was not planning this kind of life…but this is the life that I have and all I can do is look at the positives. I have to remember that life hardly ever turns out exactly how you planned it, no matter what you do or what type of job you have.

No, I never planned on being a military spouse but I will do the best I can as I support my husband through whatever this life brings.